Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[Hellylou]

Erica - wonderful news on the appt and heartbeat. That must have been such a relief, and knowing you had been feeling little kicks all along!

Jojo - everyone feels kicks at different points. I was at least 18 weeks with my first when I started feeling the kicks, but earlier with subsequent ones, which I have heard is pretty normal. I found lying on my back I was more likely to feel something, and it was so infrequent and odd at first I was never sure if I really was feeling it. I am sure everything is fine, and it wont be long before little one is kicking so much you wont be able to sleep at night!

Nikki - sorry you're feeling bad at the moment. It's horrible how these things just come out of nowhere to smack us when we least expect it. So, 5/6dpo then...how are you feeling about this cycle? I hope the rainbow is a sign, and that you caught that eggy.

Gemma - def not trying this cycle? Must be frustrating with the wedding dress issue. I take it the dress is something that can't be altered that dramatically if need be? I'm sure the time will go quicker than you think til you start trying again.

AFM: no sign of the brown CM at all now. It was very very slight yesterday morning, but now seems to have completely vanished. It was more of a slightly different colour than anything, and only visible because I was examining every bit of toilet paper after I wiped (that becomes second nature for all of us, doesn't it?). So I am hoping that is it now, and was just a little IB left over. It was enough to dampen the spirits somewhat.

Having major stress at the moment (which isn't good for me at all) over this whole house move. We have 2 possible houses lined up to buy - one is smaller, less living space, but is ready to move in, no work needed. The other is much bigger, and has an enormous amount of land (three quarters of an acre, possibly more) backing onto a valley, but needs loads of work doing to it - new kitchen, bathroom, redecoration throughout etc. So, do we go for the better long term prospect and go through the trauma of renovations (with a baby on the way no less) or do we go into the ready to move in one, which we may well outgrow very soon? Agh?

 

[feeble]

Glad the spotting has stopped

I would absolutely go for the longer term investment/land/doing up house

basically if you can just get it to a suitable standard for the newborn stages, you can start looking at doing it up in earnest...

I am good today, decided to go vegitarian, to save money and for health reasons... So today have enjoyed a lovely pasta lunch, going to have veggie lasagne for tea and snack on seeds/yogurts/fruit in the evening if needed

its actually a great time for me to start because i am finding it difficult to eat a big meal but needing to have a meal before i go to bed at night or i end up waking up vomiting!

9 weeks on Wednesday but thats also angel babies due date... so going to be a mix of emotions

hugs to all x

 

[Hellylou]

Thanks, Fiona. I think I'm inclined to agree. It's just major stress. The kitchen is just AWFUL, and would be the first thing to be ripped out, closely followed by the bathroom, the downstairs WC, every room in the house, , carpets, flooring, every door....

I am already veggie because of my kidney probs. I actually prefer veggie food. Problem is, my kids hate all things pulse/bean/lentil/veg, so I end up cooking several meals. Veg protein is much healthier than meat, and kinder to the kidneys (hence my reason).

 

[feeble]

Well for us it is mainly money orientated, and also my husband would LOVE to go back to being veggie, he doesn't feel like his body reacts well to meat (and from the smell of his farts I tend to agree)

I could definitely do with loosing 4/5 stone also

So veggie we go! I'm quite excited about it, trying out new recipes etc

Think it will take a while for my stomach to adjust though, we had lunch at around 1pm and I am already hungry again am going to have some yogurt and fruit to try and keep me going until dinner time!

 

[jojo23]

thanks girls!! i think its just being extra emotional etc that has me like this... but my bump is getting bigger by the day and im still feeling very much pregnant so im taking it all as good signs and had a chat with a friend today and felt a bit better so ill stop wallowing now and just relax because i know at the end of the day theres not much i can do either way!! ill try ring and get an earlier scan date if i can!

hope all is well with everyone else xxxxxxxx thanks again for the support girls

 

[Bride2b]

Kelly - I dont know if your still lurking, but I totally get what you mean. I had thought maybe my recovery may be hampered by coming here and reminding myself that I am here because I have had a tragedy. But at the same time I could not have got through this with out coming here to vent & to get the support from everyone as I think trying to deal with the emotions & thoughts I've had may not have made any sense if I hadnt been made aware that its very normal to have those thoughts and feelings.

I am going to limit myself to just coming on once or twice a day for now. Hopefully I will only feel the need to do it once a day....not that I dont need you but I want to get to the point where I dont feel I need the constant reassurance and can rely on the friendship & ttc madness (rather than sadness).

I know when I am back to ttc I will be here all the time! Helen, I am def going to give it a miss this month as the dress is fitted to the hip and very figure hugging in that aspect (I put on loads of weight since moving in with OH and just generally through my 20s, so 2 years ago I started slimming world and lost 5 stones - (70 lbs) in 9 months, so when we got engaged & was looking for my dress everyone kept telling me I needed to show off my figure and I am proud of the shape I have as it took alot of hardwork & dedication!) I posted a link a few days ago of the dress. Its a corset back so there is scope to be a little bit forgiving with the size & the lady in the shop ordered it a size too big as I should of had Bertie 3 months before the wedding & we didnt know how big I'd get etc! She got me the size to fit my hips I think, so it will be a size too big on my waist and 2 sizes on the bust. I sound like a strange shape....but I get smaller as you go up my body! So bascially maybe its fate that the dress is too big as it means I can be pregnant....but I think being 30 weeks pregnant might be pushing it a bit! Also I am convinced I will never make it full term, I dont know why, I dont expect that I will give birth REALLY prematurely but would be surprised if I make it to 37 weeks where they class it as 'full term.'

Blah blah blah I always manage to ramble on....I'm sure you're all bored senseless!!!!

I have enquired about getting some reflexology though. Has anyone tried it? I figure if I get some done this month, by next month it might have an effect. I read that reflexologists who know about fertility can target your uterus and ovaries. If it works great....but I am also helping it will be a relaxing entity & make me feel better.

Helen - I would go for the big house, it makes sense in the long run (if you can afford to do it all up), and all that land sounds gorgeous! Its horrible living somewhere where its all a bit dated and nasty but if you think you can put up with a horrible kitchen for a while it might me worth it in the long run.

Nikki - good luck, so really 5 or so days until anything will show on a test. keeping my fingers crossed xxxxxxx

Erica, I'm so pleased the mw appointment went well xxx

 

[Hellylou]

Ok girls, just started bleeding bright red now - not gushing but like the start of AF, with some mild cramping. Not good. Think it's most likely over. I'm gutted, but I guess I would much rather it happened now than later on down the line! Blurgh I could use some hugs right now.

 

[BabyBoyle]

Jojo!! I havent been on here for ages but sooooooooooo glad to see you are happily carrying!!

Congratulations!!!

Sending lots of babydust to everyone still waiting and hurting

Hopefully it'll happen soon enough for us xxx

 

[feeble]

So sorry massive hugs x x x

 

[collie_crazy]

Oh Helen I am so sorry thinking about you and hoping everything is still ok!!

 

[Hellylou]

It's stopped again. There was quite a bit on the tissue but now nothing when I wipe. I really don't think this can be a good sign, though, so I am preparing for the worst here. It's the cramping along with it that kind of seals the deal for me. I will update you all when I know for sure. I know it's too early for any kind of scan anyway, so it would be a week before anyone could scan me, by which point I imagine the bleeding will have either got worse, and I'll know for sure, or it will have stopped and a scan can see what's going on.

I had such a good feeling about this too... Now I just feel a fool.

 

[collie_crazy]

You are not a fool would your doctor do a beta blood test? If they do them over 2 days they can check if your HCG is still rising? Xxx

 

[OliveBay]

Helen, I am hoping with all my heart that you are ok and that this is just a little scare that will pass. Take it easy, put your feet up, get plenty of rest if you can and try not to worry. Please keep us updated. I'm keeping everything crossed for you honey

 

[OliveBay]

Have a few more hugs, just in case you need them!




Sending armfuls of positive vibes your way
x

 

[Hellylou]

Thanks. I probably sound so negative and defeatist but I just don't want my heart to break again. I mean, this isn't anything like losing Thomas, not even close, but I had such hopes and I felt happy, truly happy for the first time in such a long time. But it's a little late now, my heart IS breaking, it doesn't matter how much I try to soften the blow, it just is.

 

[feeble]

Oh honey Tis so sad :*( I dont know what to say i really dont, i feel for you so so much but there are no words x x take care of yourself x x

 

[OliveBay]

Helen, after what happened to me just before new year I know exactly how you feel right now and my heart breaks that someone else is feeling like this. But try to stay positive, you don't know for definite whats going on yet. There is still a chance it will be ok hon.

 

[Andypanda6570]

It's stopped again. There was quite a bit on the tissue but now nothing when I wipe. I really don't think this can be a good sign, though, so I am preparing for the worst here. It's the cramping along with it that kind of seals the deal for me. I will update you all when I know for sure. I know it's too early for any kind of scan anyway, so it would be a week before anyone could scan me, by which point I imagine the bleeding will have either got worse, and I'll know for sure, or it will have stopped and a scan can see what's going on.

I had such a good feeling about this too... Now I just feel a fool.

I just had to post to you. I am sending so many prayers and SO much love. I am sorry you have to endure this. Please stay positive and I hope for all the best. I am thinking of you, Helen

 

[winterwonder]

Hello friends,

So we've returned from our holiday which was terrible. On the tuesday i started spotting, and although my OH tried to reassure me everything would be fine, it didn't work, and unfortunately around midday, i started properly bleeding, and then that evening (sorry if tmi) i lost the biggest clot i have ever seen about the size of a pingpong ball, so as you can imagine i spent the rest of the holiday, attempting to act happy to my Mil, who we were staying with, and didn't know we were pregnant, whilst going through what felt like the worst period in my life (went through nearly 20+ pads!)

I'm still bleeding now, i dont know how long miscarriages are meant to last, the out of hrs gp, just said to call my gp on monday and they might arrange an appointment to the early pregnancy clinic, so i could have a scan to check everything was gone.

Sorry for such a depressive post, i'm not actually feeling too down about this now, as i knew that we should've made more of an effort not to fall pregnant so soon after losing bud, i also realise that lots of miscarriages happen in the first tri, so i'm trying to stay positive, and give my self more time before trying again.

What saddens me most is the realisation that i wont be having a baby this year now.

I haven't had a chance to read back through everyone elses posts but i'll try and catch up with them all soon!

Christine xx

 

[Hellylou]

OMG Christine I am so so sorry hun Sending massive hugs to you.