Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[winterwonder]

OMG Christine I am so so sorry hun Sending massive hugs to you.

Thank you, i'm sorry that you've also been spotting

 

[blav]

I've just been lurking the last week or so...this will probably be a rather mega post!

Christine-I am so, so sorry for your loss Seems like it is really going around here right now Keep your head up and stay positive, you are so strong and will get through this too (sounds like you are trying to do this anyway!) Yes, there are many first trimester losses and they are certainly different than second trimester, but it is still difficult in it's own way.

Helen-Sending hugs your way It is just not fair to have to go through something like this so soon.

Amanda-so happy that you got a great pic of the little one. I know OH and I have decided to wait until late in our next pregnancy to share with friends/family but I wonder how far we'll really make it! I'm glad the news is out. Try to breathe easy!

Gemma-I know how you feel about that "need" to be pregnant again. I feel the same way. I feel positive about this month, so we'll see. I've read so much and I know you've posted a few times but I can't remember what else you said But, I'm wishing you the best and hope all is going well for you.

Kelly-So sorry to see that you won't be around as much but I think you're right in doing what feels best. So many of us can agree that when we take steps to move ono it feels like we're taking steps to forget, and that's not true at all. Even though we know we will never forget our angels, it takes a while to let go of the pain and saddness and look toward the future. I've been around less lately and have to agree that it feels good to let go in a lot of ways.

Tia-I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. It is easy to tell ourselves we're "fine", but those times of saddness and reflection still surface. Sometimes it will feel like you're taking steps back in the grief process and that is okay too. I hope that you are still getting time to rest and think when you need to and that work is not so hard on you as time goes by.

To all of our little rainbow makers-I hope things are going well!

To those waiting for hope she comes soon, I know a few of you are having some insane cycles. I hope the maddness ends soon!

AFM-I am on CD 13 and OH and I plan to for the next 5 or 6 days just to catch both ends in case ovulation is early or late. I've been doing the BBT and I feel like my temps have been a little inaccurate the last couple days (moving around too much before taking temp). This is my first time doing BBT so we'll see. I also broke down today and picked up a few ovulation tests. I'm such a POAS freak. I just feel really good about this month and want to do everything i can! I took it today and it was negative I also picked up some Pre-Seed after seeing you lovely ladies mention it. We'll see if all these things get us a bfp this cycle!!!

 

[Andypanda6570]

Christine, you are in my thoughts and prayers.. XOOX

 

[kiki04]

Helen It might not be what your thinking... hang in there and see what happens. I will be thinking of you

Christine I am so sorry Big hugs to you hun

 

[jojo23]

oh girls im so sorry to you both!!! Helen hang in there i had quite a big bleed early on and everything turned out ok...but your in my thoughts and prayers xxxx

christine i cant imagine how you must be feeling right now but know we are all here for you and thinking of you!!xx

babyboyle im so glad to hear from you! how are you keeping hun?? xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[collie_crazy]

Girls I am actually crying for you right now. This is all so horrendous - just why!? First trimester losses may be high (I think its 1 in 4 or something?) but seriously after everything we have all been through I wish I could hug you but I cant so I send massive virtual ones instead

 

[jennijunni]

I am so, so sorry Christine. I am just so sad for you. Lots of hugs and prayers for healing and comfort coming your way.

Helen, I really hope all is well, and I am thinking and praying for you and your bean as well. Lots of hugs and love to you both!!!

 

[Bride2b]

Ahh no pages of bad news to read through!

Christine I am so sorry hun, its so unfair and cruel that you have had to endure this, it just not fair when you are happy but cautious about being pregnant again that this should happen I really do feel for you at this moment

Helen I'm gutted about what your going through too, I just hope and pray that its not the end, make sure you get plenty of rest, I really hope its just a scare.

Sending out much love to all......I dont want to hear any more bad news here, its not fair and you all are too wonderful to have to go through any more horrible shit xxx

 

[OliveBay]

Hi all

Helen, how are things today? Thinking about you lots

Christine, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. It must have been so hard to go through that whilst you were away and having to put on a brave face for MIL. I hope you've had plenty of time to rest and get all your emotions out now you are home. Take care of yourself

As for me, I think I'm in the 2WW as I think I OV'd on Thursday. I've been doing my opk's again just to see what my body might do this cycle after my chemical (or whatever it was) before new year, and they just followed the normal pattern that I'd been getting before, so maybe things are just back to normal. Could my body actually be doing something right for once?! I'm not getting my hopes up for a bfp this cycle though, as who knows if my body will be ready for it. I just figured there was no point in not trying this month and we'll just deal with whatever happens. If my body is ready and it works then great, if not then oh well we'll just have to keep on trying.

 

[Hellylou]

Hi girls, thanks so much for your positivity and thoughts, it means so much.

I have no idea what is happening, to be honest. It's all stopped again, and now there is a very slight brown CM again, so it was one episode of bright red when I wiped yesterday afternoon, and nothing afterwards, and it wasn't enough to even reach underwear (sorry tmi). Still a little crampy, but nothing major. It might be ok, it might be a sign that something has gone wrong, I have no idea, and I wont be able to get a scan til I'm further along - I'm 5+2 at the moment, so no hb would even be detected at this stage anyway. I am quite a lot calmer about it all today. I think what will be will be, and I'm ready for that.

I'll see doc on Thurs or Fri either way and we'll take it from there, unless of course I have severe pain or anything like that.

Sally - fingers crossed for 2WW.

 

[Andypanda6570]

Hi girls, thanks so much for your positivity and thoughts, it means so much.

I have no idea what is happening, to be honest. It's all stopped again, and now there is a very slight brown CM again, so it was one episode of bright red when I wiped yesterday afternoon, and nothing afterwards, and it wasn't enough to even reach underwear (sorry tmi). Still a little crampy, but nothing major. It might be ok, it might be a sign that something has gone wrong, I have no idea, and I wont be able to get a scan til I'm further along - I'm 5+2 at the moment, so no hb would even be detected at this stage anyway. I am quite a lot calmer about it all today. I think what will be will be, and I'm ready for that.

I'll see doc on Thurs or Fri either way and we'll take it from there, unless of course I have severe pain or anything like that.

Sally - fingers crossed for 2WW.

I am thinking of you ,Helen. Sending so many positive thoughts. You are so brave and I want you to know I am here if you ever need to talk, anytime.
XOOXOXOX

Christine, thinking of you and I am so sorry you are going through this . Sending much love and if you ever need me I am here, always..

 

[jojo23]

Hi girls, thanks so much for your positivity and thoughts, it means so much.

I have no idea what is happening, to be honest. It's all stopped again, and now there is a very slight brown CM again, so it was one episode of bright red when I wiped yesterday afternoon, and nothing afterwards, and it wasn't enough to even reach underwear (sorry tmi). Still a little crampy, but nothing major. It might be ok, it might be a sign that something has gone wrong, I have no idea, and I wont be able to get a scan til I'm further along - I'm 5+2 at the moment, so no hb would even be detected at this stage anyway. I am quite a lot calmer about it all today. I think what will be will be, and I'm ready for that.

I'll see doc on Thurs or Fri either way and we'll take it from there, unless of course I have severe pain or anything like that.

Sally - fingers crossed for 2WW.

glad to hear it has stopped hun!! when i had the bleed it was also bright red and soaked my underwear and i was very crampy. i was 6 weeks and then i had another bleed at 11 weeks but to this day i still dont know where the blood came from but it def was not from the pregnancy sac!!
i really hope it works out the same for you hun... ill have everything crossed for you xxxxxx

 

[winterwonder]

hey ladies, thank you all so much for the kind words. I told my mum what happened today, and she was also quite upset about it, as she says she'd sort of figured out that i was pregnant over christmas because of the way i was behaving.

All i want is to be pregnant and have a baby, and it just feels so unachievable right now, I just feel like i'll never be able to enjoy a pregnancy again, because i'm always going to assume that this is how they're going to end.

Its not fair, I'm only 26, i made sure i took folic acid both times, that i ate healthily, cut out caffeine, did everything right, and now i just feel like such a failure as a person.

Sorry i'm just feeling down at the mo.

christine xx

 

[Hellylou]

Ah Christine, again I'm just so so sorry you have gone through this. It is just brutally unfair. You did everything right, and I know that sense of total injustice. I remember walking past heavily pregnant mothers at the hospital who were outside smoking and thinking how utterly unfair it was when I had done everything by the book yet I was walking away empty.

I know it will seem very bleak right now, and I am sending as many positive thoughts and vibes your way as I can. That take home baby will be with you before you know it. I have friends who have lost both early and late and they have healthy children now. You will get through this, and these two losses you have suffered are most likely completely unrelated, just really awful luck.

Rest up, take your time to recover, and we are all here to support and listen whenever you need us

 

[ericacaca]

Hello there girls. I'm so sorry to hear the bad news.... I'm thinking and praying for you.

I'm just posting to also say like another couple of ladies that I'm going to take a break from this thread for a while. I'll keep popping my head in and out I'm sure but I feel bad not writing as much as I can and I really don't feel in that place any more to be posting in here right now. You ladies have been amazing through the horrendous past few months and I want to thank you so much for that but I just feel now that I need to stop dwelling in the past in order to move on and enjoy this pregnancy that we have right now.

I love you all, and will try to keep in touch.

Love and hugs

Erica xxx

 

[Andypanda6570]

Hello there girls. I'm so sorry to hear the bad news.... I'm thinking and praying for you.

I'm just posting to also say like another couple of ladies that I'm going to take a break from this thread for a while. I'll keep popping my head in and out I'm sure but I feel bad not writing as much as I can and I really don't feel in that place any more to be posting in here right now. You ladies have been amazing through the horrendous past few months and I want to thank you so much for that but I just feel now that I need to stop dwelling in the past in order to move on and enjoy this pregnancy that we have right now.

I love you all, and will try to keep in touch.

Love and hugs

Erica xxx

I understand how you feel. You are a really nice person and I wish you all the best..XOXOOX

 

[yazoo]

Hi girls, I haven't been around in a while, I just don't have the time & like alot if the girls that have been here a while I don't want to be logging in all the time. After reading a new story of loss on here I almost always dream that it is happening to me & i don't think that is good for my mind especially while ttc & if when I get pregnant. I think reading new stories has made me more fearful & not only now do I fear losing another baby in the same way I did the last time but also in the same way you all have. I'm rambling now and I'm not explaining myself very well. I how you know what I mean though. I'm still going to come here though but just not as often as before. yous have probably noticed that already though.

I didn't get the results of the blood test. I missed the appt because if the stupid receptionist. She tole me te clinic was open til 5.30 and it was no problem being a bit late for my Appt which was at 3. I got there at half 4 to be told that the clinic closes at 4. I just cried on the spot. More time to worry and fret over the results.

Helen I am so sorry you had bleeding but I'm glad it has stopped now. It's pretty normal at this stage & could be implantation. Your in my thoughts.

Christine I'm so sorry for your loss. Xxx

Jemma at 7 weeks I was still a mess & still hadnt left the house on my own. Don't feel like you should have moved on by now. It's only now 5 months later that I am feeling a tiny bit stronger but u could cry at anything still.

Im on my phone so I can't reply to everyone. I hope your all ok. Xxxx

Tanya.

 

[Nikki_d72]

Oh Christine, I'm so deeply sorry for your loss honey, this is so unfair, I could scream for you. massive virtual hugs hon

Helen, I really hope that that is the bleeding over and it's just an episode in early pregnancy, as does seem to happen, I'm sorry it's causing you worry and I hope for the best for you hon. have one of these too

I wish I could be there properly for you, in person to hug you both.

Erica, I understand honey, you do what you have to.

Tanya, same to you sweet.

Man, there's hardly any of us left! I am glad folk are able to move on a bit though, I'm not moaning, maybe it will help break my addiction to this place a bit!

Love to you all, not much to report here - we had more visitors this weekend and I've been working as well, so I'm pooped, looking forward to some time with just us, might try to get away somewhere this weekend, school hols are nearly over...


xxx

 

[Kelly9]

I sadly get to be a member of your group now if you'll have me. I lost my little girl Hannah just a few days ago at 18 weeks. She had a sacrococcygeal teratoma that was growing very rapidly and taking blood away from her making her heart pump harder. We went to Toronto for fetal surgery on Jan 12 to try and cut off the blood supply, which went well but discovered in the morning of Jan 13 that her heart had stopped. They suspect she bled out into her tumour after the surgery. The labour was fast but horrible I didn't even have pain killers to numb myself and had a horrid nurse during most of the ordeal.

I don't know if I should add anything else except that my heart is breaking and I have no idea how to cope. I want to know when things will get better? I'm afraid that I'll feel guilty for feeling better or wanting to soon. My husband and I used all our savings to do IVF to have our Hannah and we're tentatively planning to do a frozen egg transfer as soon as my body is regulated. Thats all from me.

 

[feeble]

Kelly so sorry for your ordeal,

I can only imagine how hard it's been

I found out my baby had died during a routine scan, having the pressure of surgery must have been so hard, both for you and of course for darling hannah x

No one can really say when it will get easier, I found that every day that went on, as I slowly convince myself that I am and will keep on keeping on... That was the only way I could cope

I wrote lists for everything, made sure I was on a tight ship of what to do and when to do it... For jasper my little boy as much as everything x

After a while I found that the grief came in waves, which made it easier to cope in between the waves x

So many hugs x sorry to welcome you here but welcome all the same x