Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[Bride2b]

Good Luck for tomorrow Helen xxxxxxx

 

[jennijunni]

i think after messing with me for 2 days my Af has finally arrived!! Bitch! LOL!! So this morning a bit more spotting. I hope she is here to stay!

Welcome to all the new faces. I hope all of our bump mamas are doing well, and growing nice and round. GL to all the TTC mamas. I forsee a bunch of BFP's next month!!!

 

[feeble]

Just found out an old friend gave birth to a wee girl yesterday (my due date)

she looks perfect, i am happy for them but shell shocked really

How can life be so cruel.

 

[kiki04]

Thats tough

*On a side note, I always want to call you Feebs... because on 'Friends' they call Pheobe, Feebs and that all I think when I see your name! I just wanna be like "Oh hey feebs!"



AFM-I finally can say she is here and I couldnt be happier. I am sure it was just stress because even after losing Hadlee, I got my first true AF 41 days later, then they slower got back to my normal 31-33 day cycles ever since. Them bam out of nowehere I get a 65 day cycle... garbage I tell ya... garbage!

 

[feeble]

Yeah feebs is one of my many nicknames x your welcome to call me that x

 

[blav]

Thats tough

*On a side note, I always want to call you Feebs... because on 'Friends' they call Pheobe, Feebs and that all I think when I see your name! I just wanna be like "Oh hey feebs!"



AFM-I finally can say she is here and I couldnt be happier. I am sure it was just stress because even after losing Hadlee, I got my first true AF 41 days later, then they slower got back to my normal 31-33 day cycles ever since. Them bam out of nowehere I get a 65 day cycle... garbage I tell ya... garbage!

Yay!!! So glad she's here!!! I have a lot to catch up on!

AFM I feel like I'm out this month. I was doing the BBT and it seemed like my temp went up just before my fertile period should have started (but I was paranoid so I would go back to bed and take it later and it did go down). I took an OPK the day my fertile period was supposed to start and the line was light, next day it was light, since then NOTHING, not even a light line! Sooo, I've kind of given up for this month even though OH and I did a few times, I'm just afraid I o'd too early. Will have to start the OPK earlier next month. Gack!

 

[Hellylou]

Thats tough

*On a side note, I always want to call you Feebs... because on 'Friends' they call Pheobe, Feebs and that all I think when I see your name! I just wanna be like "Oh hey feebs!"



AFM-I finally can say she is here and I couldnt be happier. I am sure it was just stress because even after losing Hadlee, I got my first true AF 41 days later, then they slower got back to my normal 31-33 day cycles ever since. Them bam out of nowehere I get a 65 day cycle... garbage I tell ya... garbage!

Yay!!! So glad she's here!!! I have a lot to catch up on!

AFM I feel like I'm out this month. I was doing the BBT and it seemed like my temp went up just before my fertile period should have started (but I was paranoid so I would go back to bed and take it later and it did go down). I took an OPK the day my fertile period was supposed to start and the line was light, next day it was light, since then NOTHING, not even a light line! Sooo, I've kind of given up for this month even though OH and I did a few times, I'm just afraid I o'd too early. Will have to start the OPK earlier next month. Gack!

Did you manage to BD a few times before you started using the OPKs? If so, it wont really matter as you may have caught the egg anyway. Or could it be that you haven't O'd yet and still may? I would carry on using the OPKs until AF shows (or not, hopefully) just to be on the safe side.

 

[blav]

Thats tough

*On a side note, I always want to call you Feebs... because on 'Friends' they call Pheobe, Feebs and that all I think when I see your name! I just wanna be like "Oh hey feebs!"



AFM-I finally can say she is here and I couldnt be happier. I am sure it was just stress because even after losing Hadlee, I got my first true AF 41 days later, then they slower got back to my normal 31-33 day cycles ever since. Them bam out of nowehere I get a 65 day cycle... garbage I tell ya... garbage!

Yay!!! So glad she's here!!! I have a lot to catch up on!

AFM I feel like I'm out this month. I was doing the BBT and it seemed like my temp went up just before my fertile period should have started (but I was paranoid so I would go back to bed and take it later and it did go down). I took an OPK the day my fertile period was supposed to start and the line was light, next day it was light, since then NOTHING, not even a light line! Sooo, I've kind of given up for this month even though OH and I did a few times, I'm just afraid I o'd too early. Will have to start the OPK earlier next month. Gack!

Did you manage to BD a few times before you started using the OPKs? If so, it wont really matter as you may have caught the egg anyway. Or could it be that you haven't O'd yet and still may? I would carry on using the OPKs until AF shows (or not, hopefully) just to be on the safe side.

No we didn't BD before should have! It could be that I haven't but I think it's unlikely. I think you're right, I should keep using them until the comes...if she does. I really wanted to give OH a BFP for Valentine's Day!

 

[Kelly9]

I'm hanging in barely some days. I got really mad at someone who called what happened to me a miscarriage, I set them straight though. Anyone else get mad about that or am I just still hurting to much?

 

[feeble]

I had a woman tell me that she understood exactly how I was feeling because she lost a baby at 8 weeks and then proceeded to ask why I couldn't just have a d+c...

I very nearly punched her

 

[Kelly9]

Some people are so ignorant. I would have punched her. At least in my case I think they called it an mc just for lack of knowing what else to call it.

 

[kiki04]

I get SUPER angry when people refer to it as a miscarriage.... it was NOT a miscarriage and an 8 week loss is NOT the same as a 20 weeks loss

 

[Bride2b]

Totally agree, I do not class what I had as a miscarriage.....I gave birth, he was perfectly formed, just a little teeny baby. People who have miscarriages do not give birth to perfect little people! I have told everyone who knew about my pregnancy what I had to go through, and that it wasnt a miscarriage, I gave birth.

x

 

[Bride2b]

Its my OH birthday in a few weeks & I am getting my friend to make him some cufflinks with Berties name on and his little thumb print in each one (Just like the necklace I had made - which I plan on wearing every day for the rest of my life). I am going to get a cuff link box to put them in, but one you can engrave with a personal message.
I want the message to say something along the lines of a special memory with love. I kind of want to make sure that they are given to him in memory of our son but not directly from Bertie if that makes sense. Anyway has anyone got any suggestions of wording I can use?

I am hoping he will wear these on our wedding day.

Thanks xx

 

[feeble]

It was horrid, having to explain to this woman that delivering my daughter at 23 weeks was not the same as her early loss... We have barely spoken since

She took great exception to my insistence that she stop referring to my loss as a miscarriage and suggesting she 'knew exactly how I felt' 'I've been through the same'

Very hard.

Also, even though my baby was dead, even though I spent eight hours in labour, I wouldn't have changed it... That was my birth of my child, not a quick operation I could forget about... It was a birth albeit a still one...

She just didn't understand and got upset with me...

 

[Nikki_d72]

Its my OH birthday in a few weeks & I am getting my friend to make him some cufflinks with Berties name on and his little thumb print in each one (Just like the necklace I had made - which I plan on wearing every day for the rest of my life). I am going to get a cuff link box to put them in, but one you can engrave with a personal message.
I want the message to say something along the lines of a special memory with love. I kind of want to make sure that they are given to him in memory of our son but not directly from Bertie if that makes sense. Anyway has anyone got any suggestions of wording I can use?

I am hoping he will wear these on our wedding day.

Thanks xx

Maybe something to do with imprints on the heart? I'm sure there's a poem something about that somewhere, it might be about footprints but you could adapt it - maybe there's a line you could use? I'm thinking there won't be much space on the back but a good hand-engraver can do amazing things.

Getting fingerprints was a brilliant idea! I've got hand prints and footprints just.

I'm also a jeweller, though I've not been using my trade for years now (was supposed to be part of the plan in coming here to NZ but the house has taken over as usual) and I was thinking of getting my act together and making something for me and DH, he's not really a jewellery guy but would maybe wear something really subtle. I am wondering how they transpose the fingerprints/footprints etc into the metal - is it photo-etching, do you know? Sorry to crash your question, but it's been bugging me for ages how to do it! Would you mind asking her for me?

I'm sure you OH will proudly wear them to the wedding, it's a very thoughtful idea. xxx

 

[Nikki_d72]

As for the misacrriage thing, yeh I hear you - it drives me nuts!

I bawled my mother out the morning after having the boys on the phone coz she asked me if I needed a D&C, poor woman didn't have a clue, she was on the other side of the world rummaging about forums like this trying to get a handle on what had happened to me. I felt really bad afterwards, as I was a bit brutal with her and told her exactly what had happened! She just didn't understand, no-one in our close family had even had a M/C never mind a midtrimester loss or stillbirth.

Some folk just try to be kind and say the wrong thing, others seem to want to insist they know all about it, I just say now "unless you've been through this you'll never get it and I hope you never do..." I don't really discuss it with many folk beyond here though TBH, I just don't want to hear their misplaced opinions.

My Mum and Dad's main concern was for me, but I was just wanting my boys back and worrying about if they suffered etc. The fact that they were only concerned about me bugged me! Silly, huh. They were thousands of miles away so couldn't see anything else I suppose, she knows more now and gets it a lot better, she really made the effort to find out, poor woman. I don't tell her much though, she's so far away and can't do anything I don't want her looking into this abyss with me - why make anyone else see it?

 

[feeble]

The thing is, I would never imagine that I knew how someone else is feeling! Even if they went through the exact same thing as me, it would be their experience not mine!

I just think its an incredibly arrogant thing to assume you know exactly how someone feels about the death of their child x

 

[Bride2b]

I
I'm also a jeweller, though I've not been using my trade for years now (was supposed to be part of the plan in coming here to NZ but the house has taken over as usual) and I was thinking of getting my act together and making something for me and DH, he's not really a jewellery guy but would maybe wear something really subtle. I am wondering how they transpose the fingerprints/footprints etc into the metal - is it photo-etching, do you know? Sorry to crash your question, but it's been bugging me for ages how to do it! Would you mind asking her for me?

My friend takes impressions in a special clay that you mix together & sets quite quickly, so before it sets you take the print. This then hardens and she uses it to make silver jewellery. She came with me 2 days after I had Bertie and took prints of his hands & feet and his thumb print. His hands and feet are in silver...they are too big to make into jewellery but are gorgeous. She used a heart shape cutter to make a pendant with his thumb print in.

This is the sort of thing;

https://www.fingerprint-jewellery.co.uk/catalog/fingerprint-jewellery-c-51.html

There is also the option to send in / email scanned hand and footprint that are then reduced & put onto silver (somehow). They are gorgeous too.....if the link works there is something about it in the FAQ section.

I wear mine everyday & so many people have commented how lovely it is. I will try & take a photo of it & upload. I feel like he is with me & I am so proud to wear it xx

I will look into poems too - great idea xx

 

[Nikki_d72]

Ah, it's precious metal clay. Wow, what a brilliant thing you did, getting casts made! It's the photo or print thing I'm wondering about, as it's too late for me to do what you did. Thanks for the link, I'll look it up now. xx

ETA: I see it's s special putty they use to take the impressions then cast them from there, not PMC. What a great site she's created. Better not ask about her technology, she'll think I'm going to rip off her idea! I'd just like the footprints put onto sheet so I can do my own thing with it from there, I could contact them to ask about this. Thanks again for the link!