Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[Kelly9]

I know my cervix is closed, they checked the other day and my bleeding is minimal so that wouldn't bother me either, though I just started doing sit ups again so it may pick up for a bit. I don't want to wait for 6 weeks. The nurse at the hospital told me I could around 2 weeks after or when I felt like it. After having my son it took 3 attempts due to the pain of an episiotomy and 7 weeks later we finally managed it but I found I had to kind of suck it up and do it. Maybe we'll give it a go after it's been two weeks. I don't think it will hurt but it might and I guess I'm more worried about that. I know my husband won't push me into anything which is nice. Not meaning to share to much but I had my first orgasm the other day and it was mentally tough to achieve and I had some cramping and weird sensations but I assume thats cause my uterus is still a little bigger then it should be.

 

[blav]

Gemma-I agree, last month I never got a positive opk but AF was on time so I most likely did ovulate. This month, who even knows. I'm trying to just temp, record it, and not worry about it (althought, last night I just had this feeling that I'm pregnant with a girl). We'll see what happens at the end of the month. I'm going to try really hard to not test unless AF is late.

Kelly9-I would recommend waiting until the cervix as closed. If you have sex before that you can open yourself up to infection. Don't be hard on yourself if even when you feel ready, the actual sex just doesn't feel quite right. I remember one time when OH and I were having sex for some reason something he did seemed to give me the exact same feeling as it felt when Mateo was being born and it just totally ruined everything for me, I started crying, it was awful. It is okay if things aren't perfect right away.

Nikki-I think you're right, you do just kind of finally feel like having sex is okay again. For me the urge definitely just came back on it's own after a period of time. I was actually quite frisky.

 

[Kelly9]

My cervix is closed. They did an internal when I went in for a scan to
Check for placental remains.

 

[blav]

My cervix is closed. They did an internal when I went in for a scan to
Check for placental remains.

I didn't see your other response before I replied

If the doctor has given you the go ahead, I would say whenever you feel ready! My doctor had told us to wait 6 weeks, but we waited 3 (I think, might have been 4). OH was very hesitant because he didn't want to hurt me or introduce infection but I was able to convince him it was okay

 

[Kelly9]

That's ok it's easy to miss stuff on here. I'll ask again when I have my scan tomorrow to double check that it's closed but I feel comfortable with what the doc told me when he did the internal. Im just worried emotionally that it will be tough. I Mean last time emotionally I was excited and ready but we had a healthy baby. I guess I should just give the dh a heads up I may go hormonal on him.

 

[blav]

That's ok it's easy to miss stuff on here. I'll ask again when I have my scan tomorrow to double check that it's closed but I feel comfortable with what the doc told me when he did the internal. Im just worried emotionally that it will be tough. I Mean last time emotionally I was excited and ready but we had a healthy baby. I guess I should just give the dh a heads up I may go hormonal on him.

Yeah of course it's a good idea to talk to him about it, but there is no right or wrong time to start up again. You can wait until you feel ready and if you try and you're not ready yet you can keep waiting. It will all happen at the right time...as with most things, we just have to have patience (which I am NOT good at )

 

[Kelly9]

I am not a patient person by nature either, I tell my DH that in the 6 weeks we went through hell with Hannah's diagnosis I used up 10 years worth of patience.

 

[SLCMommy]

Kelly, six weeks?! That had to be a horrific wait! Im waiting on my pathology report . Its hard because I want to know what went wrong.

 

[feeble]

we waited 12 weeks for our results...

very hard wait and i am so glad it came back as nothing to worry about for the next pregnancy. just one step closer to moving on a bit...

 

[Bride2b]

Ah thanks Britney, maybe it is just a cycle where I wont ovulate, I've not had this before (to my knowledge as before when using CBFM etc there was always OV peaks). Its better it happens this month & maybe a sign so I couldnt try this month, hopefully if AF arrives on time (cd 28 or cd 29 like it was before) then I'll relax. I'm so worried that my body isnt doing what its meant to, I'm just so desperate to get back to ttc & being successful without having to wait months!

About the sex thing, I didnt feel the urge but went along with it to see if I felt ok with it. I have to say I didnt and ended up quite tearful. I say just do things when your ready & dont feel you have to rush into anything x

 

[Bride2b]

Ah thanks Britney, maybe it is just a cycle where I wont ovulate, I've not had this before (to my knowledge as before when using CBFM etc there was always OV peaks). Its better it happens this month & maybe a sign so I couldnt try this month, hopefully if AF arrives on time (cd 28 or cd 29 like it was before) then I'll relax. I'm so worried that my body isnt doing what its meant to, I'm just so desperate to get back to ttc & being successful without having to wait months!

About the sex thing, I didnt feel the urge but went along with it to see if I felt ok with it. I have to say I didnt and ended up quite tearful. I say just do things when your ready & dont feel you have to rush into anything x

 

[Tia30]

Hi all,

Not sure if you can help.

Phoned the hospital yesterday as had heard nothing since I was in there on xmas eve about finding out what went wrong and the results of the autopsy. Anyway they said they were just about to write to me and have given me an appointment on the 5th of March?

Doesn't 10 weeks seem like a long time to wait to find out what happened? Also I am scared to try again in case something is wrong - as they did mention I had a heart shaped womb and something about the baby needing to implant on the right hand side as blood flow is better.

Thanks

 

[Andypanda6570]

Hi all,

Not sure if you can help.

Phoned the hospital yesterday as had heard nothing since I was in there on xmas eve about finding out what went wrong and the results of the autopsy. Anyway they said they were just about to write to me and have given me an appointment on the 5th of March?

Doesn't 10 weeks seem like a long time to wait to find out what happened? Also I am scared to try again in case something is wrong - as they did mention I had a heart shaped womb and something about the baby needing to implant on the right hand side as blood flow is better.

Thanks

I waited 6 weeks for Ava's test and then after all that waiting they told me her cells didn't grow I was like WHAT?? I said what does that mean they said sometimes the cells don't grow and we don't have another tissue sample so we can't test again. So I will never know why her heart just stopped. My doc said he is 90% sure it was chromosomal, but I will never really know.
I would think an autopsy would take longer than a test for tissue. I thought 6 weeks was long, 10 weeks is long, but i think that is just how long it takes. I am so sorry for your loss and I pray you find out a reason for it.
I also did not want to try again till i knew all the facts.

XOXOXO

 

[Bride2b]

Hi Tia, hope your well apart from all this waiting. I was told the follow up would be in 6-8 weeks after I lost Bertie. Infact it was exactly 6 weeks after. We didnt have an autopsy, but I know sometimes it takes longer to get the results back if you chose to do that.
Is it worth making an appointment with your GP in the mean time to ask questions about the condition you have. I asked a few questions on a few occasions running up to my appointment & the doctors were only to happy to talk me through things. For me my questions were speculative as I had no idea about why my loss occurred. They are usually pretty good & quite sensitive and understanding towards situations where a baby has been lost. If you really want to try before hand I would certainly go see the doctor. At your follow up though they will give you information on how they will treat you next time, including different tests/scans etc. So it might be worth waiting if you can.

The 5th of March does seem ages to wait. I hope you can get some info / advice before this xx Good luck xx

 

[kiki04]

I was never really told anything definitive It was something that just *happened* as far as I know

 

[kiki04]

Ah thanks Britney, maybe it is just a cycle where I wont ovulate, I've not had this before (to my knowledge as before when using CBFM etc there was always OV peaks). Its better it happens this month & maybe a sign so I couldnt try this month, hopefully if AF arrives on time (cd 28 or cd 29 like it was before) then I'll relax. I'm so worried that my body isnt doing what its meant to, I'm just so desperate to get back to ttc & being successful without having to wait months!

About the sex thing, I didnt feel the urge but went along with it to see if I felt ok with it. I have to say I didnt and ended up quite tearful. I say just do things when your ready & dont feel you have to rush into anything x

With your temp going down two days in a row this could be your pre ov dip If it starts to go up tomorrow and continues to rise I would mark today or tomorrow as possible O days. But that being said, I just had my very first cycle of 64 days Had no clue what was going on but thank god thats over now! CD8 for me now and hoping to begin my OPK's by about Monday. I expect OV in about 10 days ladies so its time get things rockin!!

 

[Bride2b]

I feel a bit of a nob asking about my lack of OV after your mega cycle...just paranoid I guess that my body is f**ked! I guess I've lost faith in it after it allowed my baby to be born too soon! Its all scary stuff!

Not long now hun for you to wait to crack open those lovely little sticks!!! xx

 

[kiki04]

Mega Cycle Perfect name for it But it isnt uncommon to ovulate around cd20. Are your cycles at least 30 days? Did you monitor them before?

 

[Bride2b]

Yes usually 28-29 days before. I kept a little table and recorded what the CBFM said. I'm a bit of a geek, I used red for low, amber for 'high' and green for peak days, so it was really easy to see what was going on. Then I knew when the best days were to bd once I stopped using the monitor.

I hope this cycle is just a one off & that I do get AF after 28-29 days!

I wrote down loads of stuff yesterday about how I feel & emailed it to OH to read (otherwise sometimes when you talk you cant say everything you want to as you get interrupted!). I laid it out how desperate I am to be pregnant again as I dont think he realised how much I think about it. I just feel like I am some sort of nutter at the moment!

 

[kiki04]

Well if you are ovulating late, you will want your cycle to run to about 33-34 days to ensure your LP is long enough for implant They say 12-14 is good.

I think thats a great idea writing all that to your OH. Sometimes it is just easier to get it all out on paper.