Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[SLCMommy]

I'm sorry to those who had to wait for along time to get their results back. That really is such a nerve-wracking time. My next appointment is February 16th, and I was told the doctor likes to go over the results with the patient so I guess I am kind of stuck waiting until than, even if my results come back sooner. To not really get an answer is heartbreaking because at that point, all you are really wanting in your heart is just answers. FX & baby dust to all of you who are ttc now or will be soon! Me & DH are a long haul away from TTC again. Also, the hospital that I had my D&E at, had a memorial baby blanket for me but I never got it. I don't want to call and ask for it because if it doesn't given to me, I don't know if it was meant to not be given. I just heard from a lady from a local support loss group that she had "heard" about a woman who lost her baby at that hospital and had three older kids. I suspect it was me because the hospital was tiny and I had a nurse who usually works with the laboring mamas but she said there were no patients up there. So, I am assuming it was me. I wish people would do their job right.... at that moment that memorial blanket would of helped me out...a lot

 

[KamIAm]

Quick Question...

I've been trying to play "catch-up" and I've noticed Sally's lil post a few pages back and then NOTHING ...

Sally, log your bum back in here and give us an update...

I've also seen we have some new ones here, unfortunately... I am terribly sorry that you ladies have been thrown into this journey.. I'm just so glad you found your way here... Hope this place offers you the same support, love, friendships & understanding as I found... My name is Kelly - My daughter was born sleeping 10 months ago at 19.4 weeks.. due to my crappy cervix.. aka.. Incompetent Cervix.. She was completely perfect and healthy.. Just my body failed us miserably...

Sending loves and cuddles to all our lil ones ....

 

[Hellylou]

Hi Kelly! I was just flicking back and checking on Sally too! Sally, we need an update!!

 

[OliveBay]

Quick Question...

I've been trying to play "catch-up" and I've noticed Sally's lil post a few pages back and then NOTHING ...

Sally, log your bum back in here and give us an update...

ha ha, sorry I've been keeping a bit quiet! Didn't want to worry anyone by disappearing, but also don't want to harp on about it all too much! Am just trying to get through the next week or so without AF or any bleeding before really getting my hopes up. Oh heck, who am I kidding? My hopes are well and truly up there in the clouds already, I'm just feeling a bit cautious in case it all comes crashing down again like last time. I already know when i will be due and am looking forward to maternity leave - I just can't help thinking about it!

Have been poas every morning just to check and those faint lines I saw earlier on the week are defo still there and getting darker. AF would be due tomorrow so probably going to do a digi on Fri, even though I am 100% certain that i am pregnant already so its sort of pointless, but still nice to see those words written there!

Thanks for thinking of me. I'll make sure I keep posting to keep you all updated x
I almost feel like I'm holding my breath for another week, just to get past the point last month where I started bleeding.

 

[kiki04]

I want a pic of a new darker test!!

 

[Nikki_d72]

Good to hear from you Sally, I have everything crossed for you! I will look forward to hearing more from you next week when you are past that point. xxx

 

[Hellylou]

Ah Sally, so glad to hear lines are getting darker. I am keeping everything crossed for you this time. You deserve a happy ending! Remember, every pregnancy is different, and this one is going to be the one that goes all the way with a rainbow at the end.

 

[Nikki_d72]

Well said Helen!

 

[OliveBay]

Thanks ladies, you're so sweet. Might upload another pic tomorrow if i get chance! Sending much love to you all x.

 

[Andypanda6570]

Thanks ladies, you're so sweet. Might upload another pic tomorrow if i get chance! Sending much love to you all x.

You do deserve this.. I am so happy for you..XOOXOXOXOX

 

[Kelly9]

Slc mommy by six weeks I mean we found out about Hannah's diagnosis at 12 weeks then it was a wait and see game till she passed away at 18. Had she made it through the surgery we'd still be waiting till she decided to be born to find out how thugs were going to be.

 

[Kelly9]

Of the ladies that lost their babies to pprom was it mostly due to incompetent cervix or did other issues not cervix related happen to cause it?

 

[Bride2b]

Of the ladies that lost their babies to pprom was it mostly due to incompetent cervix or did other issues not cervix related happen to cause it?

I thought my PPROM was due to crappy cervix, I was convinced of it. I've had work done on my cervix for abnormal cells, so to me it seemed like the obvious cause. I had geared all my questions ready for the consultants appointment towards getting my cervix measured & a possible stitch next time.
However he tells me that when I was examined upon arrival to hospital my cervix was long and thin. So no signs of IC.

I was not prepared for them to tell me that I dont have an IC. To me if I did there are things they can do to prevent it happening again.

I told him that I'd have stomach pains all day & they were intermittent accompanied by back pain. I had 2 HUGE surges of pain just before my waters broke. I am sure these pains were contractions, but he couldnt tell me if they were or not as he hadnt seem me when this was happening.

Basically there was no cause found as to why my waters broke. Nothing. No infections, clotting disorders etc! The good news is statistically I have a 99.9% chance of this not happening again. The chances of a woman having their baby due to PPROM for a second time is therefore very slim. (Obviously there are women who do have it happen - I know there are some on here who have had to endure this tragedy more than once)

Although this is good news, I have found it hard to accept that there is no obvious cause as to why this happened. (My baby was perfectly formed, the correct size for his gestation & his heart was still beating after my waters broke - there was nothing wrong with him).

x

 

[SLCMommy]

I go pick up the ashes today. No urn yet, but all I want to do is to have my baby with me. That's all I want. Even if all I can get it ashes .

 

[Bride2b]

I go pick up the ashes today. No urn yet, but all I want to do is to have my baby with me. That's all I want. Even if all I can get it ashes .

Good luck hun xxxx I need to do this in the next few days. I called the funeral directors on Friday & his ashes are ready to collect, but OH has been at work so we've not been able to collect them yet. I desperately want to bring him home.

Have you chosen an urn? Or decided what you want to do?

x

 

[Andypanda6570]

Hey,
Just popped in to see how everyone is doing? My AF is due today or tomorrow and yes I do feel cramps. It is ok though I really want to try in March so I wont be upset if AF comes. Hope everyone is doing ok.. XOXO Love you all ..XOXOO

 

[Nikki_d72]

Huge hugs SLC and Bride, for when you bring your little one's ashes home.xx

As for the reason for pPROM in my case it was unknown - there was strepB found when I was swabbed on arrival at hospital (actually I did the swab myself, as they forgot) but my waters had been broken for about 15 hours by then. It was also found in the histology (of the placenta) but there is no way of knowing if the strep was the reason for the break, or if it ascended afterwards, as I didn't deliver till 6 days afterwards. In my case they "suspect" the twin pregnancy caused so much torsion that it either caused the rupture directly, or else it causes a temporary case of IC and allowed the bacteria in, in turn causing the rupture. They will monitor my cervix weekly from 10 weeks next time, if there ever is a next time, just in case and have promised me a cerclage immediately if changes occur. I have never had any Leep or cone biopsy done on my cervix and I have a DD who was born at just about term. I did however have an emergency C/section with my DD and in the process my uterus was torn to the cervix. he told me that when they do a section, it's the cervix they are cutting into, at the top end, he couldn't rule out this being the cause either. From what I've read (which is quite extensive, I went a bit research-mad in my search for answers) nobody really knows the exact aetiology of pPROM. There are known risk factors so it's really a case of trying to eliminate these in the search for possible causes. I don't have all the info to hand, I lent some of it to my midwife and haven't got it back but here's what I can remember as risk factors (remember none of these guarantee pPROm occurring, neither does the absence of them guarantee it not occuring, but they seem to increase the odds):

Smoking
Illegal drug use (mainly cocaine)
Previous surgical trauma to the cervix (causing IC) ie LEEP, Cone biopsy, forced dilitation of the cervix (usually medical termination)
Multiple pregnancy, causing uterine torsion
Irregularly shaped uterus (ie bicornial, septate, etc, not just retro or tilted)
SCH (thrombin in blood is thought to irritate the membrane and possibly cause rupture)
Low socio-economic status (no idea why!)
Chlamidia Infection, Ghonnoreah infection
and I can't remember off the top of my head but I'm sure it said something about women of afro-carribean and hispanic descent being higher risk than caucasians (again, no idea why and it was probably an American study)

BV has also been mentioned a lot as a possible link too.

I'm sorry I don't have links to sources but that's what I can definitely remember.
HTH xxx

ETA: Here's a great link about future care and what you should request: https://www.inkan.se/pprom/pap-guidelines/trans-vaginal-ultrasound/

 

[SLCMommy]

I go pick up the ashes today. No urn yet, but all I want to do is to have my baby with me. That's all I want. Even if all I can get it ashes .

Good luck hun xxxx I need to do this in the next few days. I called the funeral directors on Friday & his ashes are ready to collect, but OH has been at work so we've not been able to collect them yet. I desperately want to bring him home.

Have you chosen an urn? Or decided what you want to do?

x

We haven't chosen an urn yet. We decided to wait for our pathology report to see if that will give us any answers as to gender, etc. Because we would like to personalize the urn by having it engraved with a name so if we can find the gender - we will go with the names that we had originally planned for this baby and not change the name. We chose Liam Maxwell for a boy, or Charlotte Ruby for a girl. Someone told me to find a different name so I could use these on a different baby and actually use it - and as much as I would love to have a little Liam or Charlotte running around, those names were chosen specifically for this baby and DH and I decided it shouldn't matter if baby is living or not, that it will always be our Liam or Charlotte. Now, if we can't find the gender than we will have to decide on a gender-neutral name and we could use those names we picked out for a future pregnancy.

 

[Bride2b]

Huge hugs SLC and Bride, for when you bring your little one's ashes home.xx

ETA: Here's a great link about future care and what you should request: https://www.inkan.se/pprom/pap-guidelines/trans-vaginal-ultrasound/

Nikki that link is really interesting. Thanks for that, I will go armed with the info when I next get pregnant. They suggested a Trans vaginal scan next time at 12 weeks to measure my cervix, but then didnt say if it would be measured again. (I've not received the follow up letter yet - and going to chase it today as this should contain all the test results & future plan).

This bit stuck out for me;
Cervical funneling cannot be detected during a speculum or vaginal exam, which only evaluates the lower half of the cervix. Trans-vaginal ultrasound is the best way to detect cervical funneling because it evaluates the entire cervix, including the upper half.

At my follow up they said on examination at the hospital my cervix was long and thin. HOW THE HELL DO THEY KNOW? They only looked at my cervix. This has pissed me off.....so I might have had shortening. I am going to demand that I get scans as suggested;

Starting at: 9 weeks to get a baseline cervical length
Frequency: Every 2 weeks; every week from 15-24 weeks
Purpose: To monitor for cervical weakness or irritability (often called “incompetent cervix” or IC); particularly changes in the upper half of the cervix that cause “funneling”.

Thanks so much for posting that!

SLC its great that you had names lined up. We had decided a name for a boy (but not a girl as I just knew I was having a boy) but we decided to keep that name. OH suggested the name Bertie & I just loved it & it just suited him so nicely. Its really personal choice about what to do with names, either way if baby turns out to be Liam or Charlotte, you still have a name left for next time if the baby is a different sex.
With our next baby I hope to give it Berties name as a middle name. I am convinced I'll have a boy again, and one day he will know why his middle name is Bertie & why he is special enough to be given that name.
x

 

[jojo23]

hey girls just popping in to see how everyone is!! hugs to bride and SLC xxxx

im just sitting here thinking of everyone!
so today for the first time ever in my life(yes hard to believe) i went into a mother and baby store. i never bought anything for Lily before i lost her, i dont really know why maybe i felt all along in my heart that something wasnt right. but today i bit the bullet and went in for a look around!!i almost cried at all the baby stuff lol i really hope this time everything works out ok for me and i can buy my little baby all these things instead of buying things for a grave!

also theres this client of mine who is a little psychic and she was in today getting her hair done. i havent told her im preg and because i was wearing an apron she wouldnt have been able to tell. she just turned and said to me why do i keep getting the word pregnancy with you so i laughed and told her and she said awe i knew it and she said she feels its a little girl!

dunno what to make of it lol but it will be interesting to see... my bump is getting quite big lol but still not much movement feel like poking this lil one all day haha to get some movement.

Hope everyone is well and im thinking of you all xxxxxxxxxxxxx