Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[Bride2b]

Andrea please dont let some TV show upset you sweetie Most TV shows are put on to cause controversy & points for people to agree & disagree with....thats entertainment. I dont think some of these TV stations actually even consider how sensitive some of these issues are to the people watching their shows. So many women have babies at a later age now, yes there are some risks but many babies are born healthy xxxx Follow your heart

There was a woman on 'One born every minute' this week who already had 4 kids (3 girls & a boy) she was only 27, and she was expecting her 5th. She pissed me off. She wasnt planning her pregnancy & seemed in two minds about the pregnancy as she didnt want anymore kids. Anyway she wanted another boy and really didnt want a girl. She openly said she would be disappointed if its a girl & her face will show she is. I was so bloody annoyed with her. Be flipping happy that you have a healthy baby, who cares if its a boy or a girl. I just though so many of us would give our right arm to be in her position. I would have thought a mother who has children would realise the miracle of it all and be pleased the baby is healthy regardless of its sex.
I did want a girl when I was pregnant before, only because I can identify with girls more. But I have to say I wasnt one bit disappointed that Bertie was a boy, he was my baby & I love him just as much as I would have loved a girl. Next time round I just dont care, I just want to take home a healthy baby xx

AFM: Looks like my chart says I OV'd Weds, even thought the OPK was negative. I think there was a very very very weak line but took ages to develop. I think this is negative though. I dont know much about these ICs. But I am sure I didnt OV this month.

Still havent managed to collect Berties ashes - OH hasnt been able to get off work early, so we've not managed to get there. He promises we will go tomorrow. I'm supposed to be back at work next Mon. But all this has just dragged on so much that I dont feel like I have been able to move on as in my opinion Bertie hasnt been laid to rest in the place he will be forever. I dont even know when the cemetary will be able to put him with OHs dad, I just cant go back while all this is happening. Its 9 weeks tomorrow. I think people think I should b over it all by now, but how can I be if we havent completed all the things to put him at rest. I am now really scared again that my doctor wont sign me off. I need time to finally take it all in without worrying that we havent had phone calls to arrange stuff.

 

[Bride2b]

ok girls if this baby doesnt start kicking soon im gonna end up crazy lol! im on a mission to get him/her moving more so any tips greatly appreciated lol!

i dunno im up and down like a yo yo!!! one minute im fine and staying positive and then next im crying my eyes out. i dont really feel very pregnant atm... just tired and i wish i had a bigger bump lol the one and only time i want a fatty belly haha... people are looking at me a little funny n not sure whether to ask or not. i wanna be like hey here's my bump there you go yep im pregnant!

sorry girls lil rant lol xxxxxxxxxx

Oh bless you Jo, I felt a bit like that, people who knew I was pregnant were like 'you have no bump' 'I look more pregnant than you,' it really pissed me off as I wanted to start looking pregnant as then it feels real. With my clothes off my shape had changed but with clothes on it really disguised any teeny bump I had. Not that I was going to start walking around naked!
Can you get LO to start moving by having a sugar rush? Eat loads of sweets or chocolate? When I first got scanned (after I had a bleed) she told me to eat something sugary for my 12 weeks scan to get baby to move around a bit as he was just sleeping and not moving around.

 

[mhazzab]

ok girls if this baby doesnt start kicking soon im gonna end up crazy lol! im on a mission to get him/her moving more so any tips greatly appreciated lol!

i dunno im up and down like a yo yo!!! one minute im fine and staying positive and then next im crying my eyes out. i dont really feel very pregnant atm... just tired and i wish i had a bigger bump lol the one and only time i want a fatty belly haha... people are looking at me a little funny n not sure whether to ask or not. i wanna be like hey here's my bump there you go yep im pregnant!

sorry girls lil rant lol xxxxxxxxxx

Is your little monkey still refusing to do as mummy asks? naughty!
I've heard people suggest cold things or sugar, or both! like maybe cold fruit juice or sweets. Jelly beans used to get the twins moving, lol.
I was just saying to hubby the other day that this one kicks about the most when I have indigestion after eating and trapped wind (tmi lol). It's definately the baby moving, maybe my bloated belly gives it less space or something! Not that you want to try and give yourself indigestion! Have you tried playing music, that used to get the twins going too? when I was 19 weeks with them I was at a friends house for a 'take that' night (we had tickets to see them in the summer) and she had the concert DVD on really loud and they were going nuts! That was probably the most I ever felt them move.
Other than that I usually find either lying flat on my bed, or when I'm bent over at my desk at work is when I feel the most movement.
Let us know how it goes and try not to worry xxxx

 

[Bride2b]

when I was 19 weeks with them I was at a friends house for a 'take that' night (we had tickets to see them in the summer) and she had the concert DVD on really loud and they were going nuts! That was probably the most I ever felt them move.

I brought the DVD after seeing them in concert last summer & I really felt Bertie kick! I think he was a Take That fan like his mummy! Sounds like your twins had good taste too! I took OH to see the Red Hot Chilli Peppers 10 days before we lost Bertie & he didnt like them! I didnt really feel him move but I brought the Take That DVD a few days later & he danced about!! OH wasnt impressed with his taste in music!xx

I cant believe your 18 weeks already!! Wow, hope you are really well xx

 

[mhazzab]

when I was 19 weeks with them I was at a friends house for a 'take that' night (we had tickets to see them in the summer) and she had the concert DVD on really loud and they were going nuts! That was probably the most I ever felt them move.

I brought the DVD after seeing them in concert last summer & I really felt Bertie kick! I think he was a Take That fan like his mummy! Sounds like your twins had good taste too! I took OH to see the Red Hot Chilli Peppers 10 days before we lost Bertie & he didnt like them! I didnt really feel him move but I brought the Take That DVD a few days later & he danced about!! OH wasnt impressed with his taste in music!xx

I cant believe your 18 weeks already!! Wow, hope you are really well xx

Lol I love Take That was delighted when they reformed. Have been to all their tours this time around apart from the last, I gave birth to the twins three days before the concert. I was also supposed to see Bon Jovi the day before Take That. Grrr. I suppose it could have been worse, I could have been away from home and at the concert when things went wrong. Sigh. My friend bought me the DVD, I might try listening to it and see what this baby thinks!
Yeah I can't believe I am almost 19 weeks either but still time is not going fast enough. I'll be a lot happier when I get past 23 weeks. Feeling quite positive at the moment though, hope it lasts.

How are you doing? Xx

 

[Andypanda6570]

Blah...feel like I'm out this month because I've been wanting to eat everything in sight and have had several bm's today (usually signs of AF). I know it's not over til it's over but

Tomorrow makes 3 months since we lost Mateo I can't believe I would be 8 months along at this point. Ugh...hard day

It aint over till it's over..xoxoox

Andrea please dont let some TV show upset you sweetie Most TV shows are put on to cause controversy & points for people to agree & disagree with....thats entertainment. I dont think some of these TV stations actually even consider how sensitive some of these issues are to the people watching their shows. So many women have babies at a later age now, yes there are some risks but many babies are born healthy xxxx Follow your heart

There was a woman on 'One born every minute' this week who already had 4 kids (3 girls & a boy) she was only 27, and she was expecting her 5th. She pissed me off. She wasnt planning her pregnancy & seemed in two minds about the pregnancy as she didnt want anymore kids. Anyway she wanted another boy and really didnt want a girl. She openly said she would be disappointed if its a girl & her face will show she is. I was so bloody annoyed with her. Be flipping happy that you have a healthy baby, who cares if its a boy or a girl. I just though so many of us would give our right arm to be in her position. I would have thought a mother who has children would realise the miracle of it all and be pleased the baby is healthy regardless of its sex.
I did want a girl when I was pregnant before, only because I can identify with girls more. But I have to say I wasnt one bit disappointed that Bertie was a boy, he was my baby & I love him just as much as I would have loved a girl. Next time round I just dont care, I just want to take home a healthy baby xx

AFM: Looks like my chart says I OV'd Weds, even thought the OPK was negative. I think there was a very very very weak line but took ages to develop. I think this is negative though. I dont know much about these ICs. But I am sure I didnt OV this month.

Still havent managed to collect Berties ashes - OH hasnt been able to get off work early, so we've not managed to get there. He promises we will go tomorrow. I'm supposed to be back at work next Mon. But all this has just dragged on so much that I dont feel like I have been able to move on as in my opinion Bertie hasnt been laid to rest in the place he will be forever. I dont even know when the cemetary will be able to put him with OHs dad, I just cant go back while all this is happening. Its 9 weeks tomorrow. I think people think I should b over it all by now, but how can I be if we havent completed all the things to put him at rest. I am now really scared again that my doctor wont sign me off. I need time to finally take it all in without worrying that we havent had phone calls to arrange stuff.

I thought about it and you are right. I am ok now, it just really made me upset. I can't believe they say things like that. Then I started to cry cause this girl who was young got up and said nobody has the right to tell any woman she should not have a baby and she was crying. I thought look at this girl not a doctor and so young and she makes the most sense. She just was so passionate and so honest.
So instead of me taking negative things from that show I will just focus on the positive.

 

[jojo23]

thanks girls! ill try a bit of everything today and see if LO co-operates. the evening seems to be the best time for me... im feeling little waves but thats about it so im starting to think maybe my placenta is anterior. i dunno are you more likely to have it again if you've had it in a pregnancy already! i wish i could hibernate for the next 4 months and just wake up when baby is ready to come out lol xxxxxxxx

 

[Andypanda6570]

thanks girls! ill try a bit of everything today and see if LO co-operates. the evening seems to be the best time for me... im feeling little waves but thats about it so im starting to think maybe my placenta is anterior. i dunno are you more likely to have it again if you've had it in a pregnancy already! i wish i could hibernate for the next 4 months and just wake up when baby is ready to come out lol xxxxxxxx

Everything will be ok, Jo. I can't believe how fast it is going
Only 4 months to go and we will see your beautiful little miracle. Hey, did I ever ask if you were finding out the gender?If you are you better tell me or I will have to make a trip ot Ireland
I love ya girlie!!! XOXOXOXOOX

 

[Bride2b]

I think it was a good job you were close to home when it happened & not at a concert! I'm so pleased there is a fellow Take That fan! I've seen them every tour since they reformed. I saw them twice this year, once last time & three times in their first tour when they reformed. I even got to kiss Howard!!! I went CRAZY !!
I hope your little rainbow has good taste!xx

I'm ok, just waiting for 'closure' in terms of properly laying Bertie to rest & dont feel like I can really breathe until this happens. I have been very up and down. I've started reflexology to release some stress & she is going to start working on my 'reproductive' system to help the TTC process along a bit. I hope to start TTC next month & really hope we are lucky. Going to do everything I can to help it to happen xx

 

[Bride2b]

Jo I had an anterior placenta & didnt feel that much movement if that makes you more at ease. I felt waves as you describe, mainly when I was in bed at night & I could see my belly rolling on the side where he was laying. Soon you'll be cursing LO for keeping you awake & kicking you in the ribs! xx

Andrea - glad your feeling better hun xxxx

 

[jojo23]

LOL Andrea, yeah i think im gonna find out just because it will be so much easier for us to be organised... ill def be letting you girls know im not very religious but i swear ive been saying more prayers these last few weeks than i have in my whole life lol!!!

a woman was in with me yesterday getting her hair done and was telling me her niece unfortunately gave birth the other day but there was an accident withthe cord and th baby was stillborn. i felt so sorry for her and really felt i could give her good advice having lost Lily. i also gave her the name of the website i got Lilys memorial candles and necklace from. she phoned me today to say thanks so much she ordered some amazing things for her niece and really felt she could give her comfort after speaking to me.

i just thought to myself how a few small words from someone who knows what your going through can make a huge difference and comfort us when we really need it! xxxxxxx

 

[FngrsCrossed]

I don't know what that could be. Maybe your cycles are changing I know mine have. I used to be every 35 days, that is why with all my pregnancies (Except Ava) I didn't know I was pregnant cause I am always so late. Now after my third son in 2000 I got to every 30 days and just 2 years ago i am every 26 days. I think our bodies just change over time and after you have a baby things change also. See what happens and then go from there, if you really feel something is not right see the doctor. What is happening with you is not unusual it does happen. Hope you get everything sorted..
xoxoxox

Thanks Andypanda...I think my old AF quit her job and sent in a replacement. Unfortunately this wanted to make a good impression and show up early!!! I am quite sure she is working for the , because she has now reset my cycle average on FF to 26 days!! This is too funny I am definately, in the words of Tampax, having a "happy period". I have DH getting me OPk's this morning before he gets home from work. So at least I get to with a mission sooner than I was, without having to wait the 2ww out the whole way!!! My 2ww is overrrrrr!!!

 

[Kelly9]

So I think I'm ovulating?!? I did an opk yesterday and it was positive just barely then today I did a pregnancy test to see if it was HCG but it's clearly negative. I'll do another opk today and see what it says. My temps are low, not as low as they would be in a regular cycle but low enough to be pre ov for me. My first period after it coming back from having my son, I ovulated then the witch showed 4 days later so if i get a temp rise in the next day or so I will be armed and ready just in case. The sooner the better cause I'll get to call the fertility clinic sooner. Did any of you use tampons with your first period after the post partum bleeding?

 

[FngrsCrossed]

I was getting periods every 11-19 days after getting my cycle back from having my son. I know my irregularities were from bfing though. I wouldn't freak out or be alarmed unless you keep getting them every 2-3 weeks for a while. Sometimes our bodies just do weird things.

So how long will it take the hcg to leave my body after a second tri loss? I got a barely positive on an opk today when I did one. My temp has fallen a lot and was 36.28 for those who temp. I'm just wondering if it's remaining hcg or my body fighting to ovulate. I know a lot of you said you got our periods back about 5 weeks after delivery so that's why I'm wondering.

Hmmm, that is a good question. I cant' say exactly, all I know is I took and hpt a month after the baby was born and it was negative. Doesn't it go by how late in the second tri the loss was? The later the loss the more the HCg has built up over time...I think that's the way it goes. Or it could be dependant on how your system works with flushing it. I would guess the if it could double every few days to built up then it certainly can do the same to come back down.

If your opk is looking positive then you might be getting ready to OV, your temp is pretty low you may be getting a little dip before you ovulate. I did that on my before I preggers...That was on my April chart and I was just coming off of Mirena. I thought it was a neat little pre-ovualtion spoiler. All I can think is keep a watchful eye for a couple more days to see if thats whats happening. How PP are you again?

 

[FngrsCrossed]

Blah...feel like I'm out this month because I've been wanting to eat everything in sight and have had several bm's today (usually signs of AF). I know it's not over til it's over but

Tomorrow makes 3 months since we lost Mateo I can't believe I would be 8 months along at this point. Ugh...hard day

Awe , It's not ever til the ugly flies!!! I am so sorry for your loss , it gets that way as the milestones pass. I hope you feel better before long

 

[FngrsCrossed]

I am in dying need of some help here...I had my little Angel baby in Nov. on th 7th, Had a full period on the 11th of Dec. (5 days), Then again on the 8th of Jan (4 days). Alllll normal periods, scouts honor. Well I started spotting on the 26th of Jan. Now on the 28th this is looking like an all out PERIOD!!! My period wasn't due til the 4th of FEB!!! I started spotting 9 days before time?!?! REALLLY?!?! I thought IB but it can't be it looks like a period now. What in heavens is going on? Why 2 periods in one month? (blah)

I get to have a period before my due period, and this period is going to come and go before the real star period shows up?! HELP! I have an imposter AF!!!

I think post baby / loss / mc our bodies dont always play ball, so I would say its just playing you up. I dont think for the first few cycles we can expect anything 'normal' if we do then thats a bonus. I think thats how I am going to look at it xxx

I don't usually fall for pranks, but I must admit this prank was by far the best one yet!!! Only the can get me . I am also thinking that my body is just adjusting and trying to get back in the game. Everything looked "normal" on the outside these past few cycles. Who knows I am probably getting ready to truly ovulate this cycle and FEB. may be our month. just in time for DH's birthday!!!!

 

[FngrsCrossed]

ok girls if this baby doesnt start kicking soon im gonna end up crazy lol! im on a mission to get him/her moving more so any tips greatly appreciated lol!

i dunno im up and down like a yo yo!!! one minute im fine and staying positive and then next im crying my eyes out. i dont really feel very pregnant atm... just tired and i wish i had a bigger bump lol the one and only time i want a fatty belly haha... people are looking at me a little funny n not sure whether to ask or not. i wanna be like hey here's my bump there you go yep im pregnant!

sorry girls lil rant lol xxxxxxxxxx

A glass of Orange juice and laying on your left side for an hour. You could always let your Dr. know and they can put you on the monitor. And they do have monitors that can be taken home also....Hope that helps.

 

[jojo23]

thanks hun, i have a doctors app this week so ill mention it to them and see what they say... also just wanted to say with your AF i was the same i had 2 totally normal cycles after losing Lily and then all of a sudden they went crazy and i ended up with really long cycles in the end but once i kept track of them i found it was fine and i still got pregnant so heres hoping feb is your month xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[OliveBay]

I was getting periods every 11-19 days after getting my cycle back from having my son. I know my irregularities were from bfing though. I wouldn't freak out or be alarmed unless you keep getting them every 2-3 weeks for a while. Sometimes our bodies just do weird things.

So how long will it take the hcg to leave my body after a second tri loss? I got a barely positive on an opk today when I did one. My temp has fallen a lot and was 36.28 for those who temp. I'm just wondering if it's remaining hcg or my body fighting to ovulate. I know a lot of you said you got our periods back about 5 weeks after delivery so that's why I'm wondering.

Hmmm, that is a good question. I cant' say exactly, all I know is I took and hpt a month after the baby was born and it was negative. Doesn't it go by how late in the second tri the loss was? The later the loss the more the HCg has built up over time...I think that's the way it goes. Or it could be dependant on how your system works with flushing it. I would guess the if it could double every few days to built up then it certainly can do the same to come back down.

If your opk is looking positive then you might be getting ready to OV, your temp is pretty low you may be getting a little dip before you ovulate. I did that on my before I preggers...That was on my April chart and I was just coming off of Mirena. I thought it was a neat little pre-ovualtion spoiler. All I can think is keep a watchful eye for a couple more days to see if thats whats happening. How PP are you again?

I'm sure I remember reading in one of my books that HCG levels drop significantly after 13 weeks of pregnancy, rather than continuing to go up throughout the whole pregnancy. This might mean that your level goes down quicker after a second trimester loss in comparison to if you had experienced a loss in the first trimester, but thats just my logic and I could be totally wrong about that! I never thought to do a pregnancy test after my loss - it didn't even occur to me. I just started using opks a couple of months later when we started TTC again and my first few were bright white, so my HCG must have gone down by then.

 

[Kelly9]

Fngrscrossed, by PP do you mean how far post partum am I? If thats what you meant it's been 16 days since I delivered Hannah. If I am ovulating I don't know if I want to have sex or not. I don't know if I'm ready but the idea of "wasting" a perfectly good egg bothers me because DH and I did IVF/ICSI and it's unlikely we'd conceive naturally so a part of me feels like we shouldn't waste an egg incase it was meant to be. My son was a miracle, we were suppose to start IVF the next month but my period never came and then I had him so I know it's possible no matter how unlikely. We beat pretty crappy odds to have him, the docs told us it would be less then a 2% chance to have a baby naturally. I don't know what to do. I went back to the pg test 20 mins later and there may have been an evap or the faintest of faint pink lines but it did not show up in the right time frame so if there is any HCG left it has to be almost gone. I think those test are 10 or 20 MIU for sensitivity.