Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[SLCMommy]

After your loss, did any of you feel the need to clean and organize your house? I've got this really weird, almost "nesting" instinct going on - except for me it's wanting to get my children's small clothes out of the house, make their bedrooms nicer, etc....

I don't know why I have this urge to clean and reorganize... but I just do! I am wondering if subconsciously it's about healing?

 

[OliveBay]

Oh no, my new rainbow ticker has disappeared- it was fine yesterday but this morning it was there when i tried to edit it but didn't show up in the preview or posts. Have just deleted it totally now but am too scared to make another one. I'm hoping this isn't a bad omen

I know that is a truly irrational thought but can't help feeling a bit worried- please can someone talk some sense into me?!

 

[mhazzab]

Oh no, my new rainbow ticker has disappeared- it was fine yesterday but this morning it was there when i tried to edit it but didn't show up in the preview or posts. Have just deleted it totally now but am too scared to make another one. I'm hoping this isn't a bad omen

I know that is a truly irrational thought but can't help feeling a bit worried- please can someone talk some sense into me?!

Awww sorry Sally, stupid technology is rubbish sometimes, please dont take it as a sign. I just know you are cooking your rainbow and it's getting all snuggly and cosy right now and growing super strong. Just remember your 'pregnant 2-3' you got on the digi, that was a good sign. Are you getting an early scan by the way? Xxx

 

[feeble]

After your loss, did any of you feel the need to clean and organize your house? I've got this really weird, almost "nesting" instinct going on - except for me it's wanting to get my children's small clothes out of the house, make their bedrooms nicer, etc....

I don't know why I have this urge to clean and reorganize... but I just do! I am wondering if subconsciously it's about healing?

I did, but it was more to keep myself going, I had lists for everything, get up, get dressed, eat, go out for a walk, tidy lounge, tidy kitchen eat

Literally every moment was on a list to be ticked off...

It was the only way I knew how to survive and keep going...

 

[feeble]

Oh... Though I haven't touched the baby clothes, they are in a pile in the corner, going to wait and find out the sex of this baby before going through them all...

 

[collie_crazy]

SLC I was the complete opposite. I just wanted to hibernate and couldn't face the housework at all. I remember everything seeming so pointless. I was hoovering the stairs one day when I got really angry and thought why the hell am I doing this? Nothing matters anymore, who cares about the stairs. And I threw the Dyson down the stairs!

But I've heard of lots of people saying similar to you. It almost like your trying to get back control of something, anything. Because losing your child you had no control over. Just do whatever you feel is best for you -

Sally it is not a bad omen! It's more than likely just a sign that either BnB is rubbish or you are hopeless with computers please don't let it stress yourself out

AFM I'm getting closer to 'that day' the same gestation I was when I lost Emily. And you know I hadn't really given it much thought to start with but now that it's coming closer I'm freakin out a bit. I feel guilty and sad that this baby will make it further than she ever had the chance to I still don't feel the same love or attachment to this pregnancy as I had the last time, I guess I am still in protection mode. I don't think that will ever leave me now. I just have this horrible morbid fear that something will happen again, that I don't deserve this baby I went to the cemetery yesterday and completely lost it I was howling away hugging Emily's headstone I could barely breathe it's been a long time since I've let go like that... A long time since I e felt the need to I suppose.

I have a scan on 'that day' and I think that's only adding to my anxiety. I am happy we are being closely monitored by I feel my anxiety levels reach the sky everytime we have a scan appointment closing in. Scans are not a happy time for me.

Sorry for bringing my worries here girls

 

[jojo23]

awe hun i have my scan on the same day as i lost Lily as well!!! its kinda odd isnt it, i was gonna change it but then everyone kept teeling me maybe it was a sign that she's gonna be there looking after her lil brother/sister

have to vent for a sec girls.... my OH's grandmother and grandfather didnt know about me being pregnant, we kept it from them because they are elderly and when i lost Lily his grandfather (who has bad health due to a stroke a few years ago) was very down and out for a few months afterwards as she would have been his first great-grandchild and he is extremely fond of my OH.
so we decided it would be better to keep it from them until after our 20 week scan. well his cousin who i already dislike decided she would like to be the one to tell them our good news and now they are so annoyed and upset with us for not telling them. we've explained our reasons for it etc but i think they are hurt that we didnt feel we could share the news!

im just so annoyed that she felt she had the right to tell them, she's like this all the time!!im nervous enough this time and havent told loads of people just because last time with Lily i had people coming up to me for months after asking me when was i due!i didnt want that this time so i figured i just would tell my close friends family etc! grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

[Bride2b]

Sally - its not an omen, just those tickers are really crap to get working sometimes! Keep your chin up, this rainbow will be in your arms in 8 months xxxxxx

Amanda - maybe you will start to feel more bonded with your rainbow after Emilys birthday passes? I think its natural to feel slightly cut off from this pregnancy emotionally as you do not want to have to go through all the pain again. I am sure the closer you get to viability the more you will relax and start to bond. I think Ive said to you before that you probably think you dont feel a connection with your rainbow, but the fact that you are guarding yourself from 'attaching' shows that you do love your LO thats growing but maybe you are too scared to feel it. Does that make sense?xx

Jo - I believe Lily will be with you that scan day, and its going to be something happy on a day where otherwise you could be lost in sadness.

AFM - We just picked up Berties ashes. I could barely keep in my tears walking to my car. I just broke down when I got in, finding it hard to even breathe. Now we have to contact the cemetary to see if we can bury him with OH dad. But we need to see if they can put him where the headstone will go as the grave is also for his mum when the time comes & I dont want him dug up in the future. I just want to finally have him at rest as I dont feel I can relax until this is done, I just feel anxious all the time. But at least we have reached another milestone today which is collecting his ashes.

FF has changed when I was supposed to have OV'd. I stopped using OPKs as thought I hadnt OV'd so who knows if I did or didnt in the end. All I know is if I did its much later that I used to.....and I told OH that I hadnt OV'd & my body is crap so it wouldnt matter if he uhemmmm when we BD. I am pretty sure I didnt & my CM hasnt been what is should be for OV.

Hows everyone else.....I see there are new ladies on the forum. I've not read their stories yet. I cant believe how many new ladies have joined, it makes me really sad to know that others are going through this too. xx

Nikki, Helen, Krissy - you all seem quite, are you all ok?xxxx

 

[Bec C]

Hi Im new. I lost my daugter last July at 21 weeks and soon hope to try again maybe early summer. Justtrying to get stronger both physically and mentally. Would be nice to meet some others as I have felt quite alone these last 6 months noone understands how it feels to be in these shoes unless they have been there personally. Its very hard every day.

Hope you are all well

 

[kiki04]

I'm here! I was busy renovating my basement all weekend and realised yesterday I hadnt done my homework all week!!

I thought I got a +opk the other day but it wasn't as my temps did not shift sooooooooo onwards and upwards I go waiting for my +opk which will be by the weekend if my body cooperates this cycle I would like to say by sunday I should be in my 2ww

 

[blav]

My 2ww is almost over, thank GOD! I just want to know either way!

If AF is not here on the 1st, I'll test...maybe. I've been so good about not testing early this month!

 

[Bride2b]

Fingers are crossed Britney xxxxxxx Your so good not testing. Do you have any signs either way yet? xx

Krissy, your so naughty for not doing your homework! Hope you get that positive OPK soon. Now you have said this about the OPK & temps would you rely on your temp more than opk as an indication of OV?x

Hi Rebecca xx

 

[Kelly9]

I may possibly have ovulated yesterday at 16 days post partum or cd17?!? I say may cause I got a positive opk the day before yesterday then a neg one yesterday then a temp rise this morning BUT it could be my body being wonky. So I wont believe it till I get sustained high temps and then a period at the end. I never used to Ovulate till cd17-19 and yesterday would have been cd 17 but I still find it hard to believe given whats just happened with my body. Plus my first period after having my son I ovulated then 4 days later got my period. Whats the soonest anyone got their AF after delivering? 4 weeks? 5 weeks?

 

[Kelly9]

Forgot to mention that we did dtd last night for the first time and as unlikely as it is that we'd get pg on a natural cycle I'm not ready to be in the tww.

 

[kiki04]

Fingers are crossed Britney xxxxxxx Your so good not testing. Do you have any signs either way yet? xx

Krissy, your so naughty for not doing your homework! Hope you get that positive OPK soon. Now you have said this about the OPK & temps would you rely on your temp more than opk as an indication of OV?x

Hi Rebecca xx

I definately would rely on my temps more then an OPK but pairing the two together is even more definitive OPK tells you you are ABOUT to ovulate. It gets the surge just before you release an egg. Only after temps have gone up, does it indicate you actually HAVE released an egg. Look at my cycle last time... I had 3 times where my temp shot up, then very quickly shot back down, showing, I got the surge of LH that I was about to ovulate so my temp shot up, but then no egg was released, so it went back down. Only after ovulation does your body release the hormone that rises your temp and keeps it up, until AF shows So each one on their own is fine... but the two together are better... you get the 2 lines on your opk, then if your temp goes up, it confirms that what the 2 lines predicted was about to happen, did in fact happen! lol

 

[kiki04]

My 2ww is almost over, thank GOD! I just want to know either way!

If AF is not here on the 1st, I'll test...maybe. I've been so good about not testing early this month!

Oh I cant wait!!! Goodluck Britney! (seriously what is the right way to spell your name? )

I may possibly have ovulated yesterday at 16 days post partum or cd17?!? I say may cause I got a positive opk the day before yesterday then a neg one yesterday then a temp rise this morning BUT it could be my body being wonky. So I wont believe it till I get sustained high temps and then a period at the end. I never used to Ovulate till cd17-19 and yesterday would have been cd 17 but I still find it hard to believe given whats just happened with my body. Plus my first period after having my son I ovulated then 4 days later got my period. Whats the soonest anyone got their AF after delivering? 4 weeks? 5 weeks?

From the day of my d&c was 41 days later when I got my first true AF. Then my next one was 36 days, then 30. My normal is 31-33 so it took a couple cycles to get back on track

 

[blav]

Thanks, Gemma!!! I feel like I've had signs, but I know I'm symptom spotting so I can't be sure what is real and what isn't LOL!

You got the spelling of my name perfect! There are so many ways to spell my name, it makes my head spin!

 

[Bride2b]

Kelly I got AF approx 5 1/2 weeks after I delivered. I think for the first few cycles its a case of keeping an eye on whats happening with your body. I used to OV between 16-18, but according to FF I either OV'd on 20 or 22 (If I OV'd at all - but now I think I may have!) Its common that cycles go wacky after. It seems like you could have ov'd. Do you temp?
xx

Krissy - I suspect I might have OV'd then based on what you say. I just stopped using opks as I thought it was getting too late. My temps shot up and are high still. Did you look at my chart. If I did OV I doubt I'd get pg as havent BD much & havent had any fertile CM. You are an expert on this, I dont know what I'd do with out you xxxx

 

[Bride2b]

What signs have you had?XXXXXX

 

[blav]

What signs have you had?XXXXXX

My back as hurt a lot (could be other things), increased cervical mucous, it's been creamy most of the time, had an acne break out which is pretty rare for me, OH thinks bbs feel a little heavier, temps are still high, have been feeling bloated/heavy in the uterus. So many of my "symptoms" could be me overthinking it though!