Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[Hellylou]

I found it quite tough in the early weeks seeing pregnant women, and even now it gives me a bit of a jolt. I didn't feel angry or jealous as much as terribly sad for what should have been, and helpless at the situation I was in. I actually found holding new babies very therapeutic, and it helped a lot with my healing.

Sorry I haven't been around as much ladies. Hope everyone's ok. Sending big hugs

 

[blav]

hope you ladies dont mind when i talk about my pregnancy here! dont want anyone to feel bad x

For some reason it doesn't bother me here. Maybe because we do have a common bond of loss??

Mostly it bothers me when the pregnant women seem like the don't care or maybe seem like they are unfit to be a mother.

 

[jojo23]

yep i remember wen this thread started... would be so lost without it now but still wouldnt want anyone feeling bad listening to me rant on etc lol xxxx

 

[Kelly9]

Hannah's ashes arrived today. She is finally home.

I don't mind you guys talking about your pregnancies, I will admit sometimes I feel like I don't fit in here cause most of you are in such a different phase of loss and life but I don't hold it against you and I don't want you not to post about being pregnant cause I know when I get pregnant again I'll need all your support and have a whole new set of questions to go with my mixed emotions. Just don't be offended if I choose not to comment on the pregnancy until I'm ready to. Deal?

 

[mhazzab]

Hannah's ashes arrived today. She is finally home.

I don't mind you guys talking about your pregnancies, I will admit sometimes I feel like I don't fit in here cause most of you are in such a different phase of loss and life but I don't hold it against you and I don't want you not to post about being pregnant cause I know when I get pregnant again I'll need all your support and have a whole new set of questions to go with my mixed emotions. Just don't be offended if I choose not to comment on the pregnancy until I'm ready to. Deal?

Hi...don't think we have spoken before, I'm not round here so much these days as I am trying to pretend bad things don't happen for a while, but I do pop in every so often to catch up.
I'm so sorry to read about your daughter, Hannah, I'm glad you have her back at home now though, that must be a comfort.

I just wanted to say that I felt the same as you about pregnant people and couldn't bear to hear about them/ look at them or speak to them. Everyone is different, some of us are able to deal with it sooner than others. Even though I am now pregnant again I still feel the way you do about other pregnant women, which is weird, I can't explain it. I still don't like having conversations with most people about it, it just makes me really uncomfy. Its such early days for you, that its totally understandable you feel this way and even if you feel the same in six or twelve months there's always someone else that feels the same.
sorry if I'm rambling...! just trying to say we all understand and that its totally normal xxxxx

 

[jojo23]

totally agree mhairi! even now i feel uncomfortable telling people im pregnant cause i almost feel i cant be happy... i totally understand you ladies in saying its hard to look at/speak about pregnancy! my cousin was pregnant the same time as me and when i lost Lily she called up to speak to me and i was so annoyed with her i couldnt even speak to her! but it does ease off and you start feeling a little more warmth again.

even so i really hope i havent offended anyone at any stage and will be a little more considerate in future!
xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Kelly9]

Most of my friends and all of my bnb stalkers are pregnant right now and I've just been avoiding them and their journals. No one is taking it to heart though as I imagine they understand it would be hard for me to see them or read their happy news in their journals. It's nice cause I can take my time. I don't think I'll be ready or comfortable around them until I am at least pregnant again, at least I hope it doesn't bother me so much then. It's really hard with my friends where I live cause so many of them are due either a few days before or after I was due with Hannah. I've already told other people to relay to my pregnant friends that I will not be attending any baby showers and that I will send along a present when I feel ready enough to go into the baby section of a store, till then they just have to wait it out, much like I'm doing.

 

[jojo23]

it def takes time hun! but if they're true friends they will totally understand how much you need your space right now. i have to admit i really realised who my friends were through losing Lily, there was people i really expected to be there and be supportive who literally never even sent me a text or passed on their sorry or anything and i know its quite a hard subject to approach but to me a friend who is there and says the wrong things is better than a friend who says nothing!

its only looking back now that i realise how much support i needed. at the time i was pushing everyone away and just wanted to be with my OH but thinking about it now a year on i just couldnt have coped without the people around me. and now i think i still need all those people but for a different reason and i can only hope they will still be there as i would be for them.

i think thats why this forum is so great cause even though we are all at different stages we are all coming from the same place. and we all know that at some point or another we have needed support and its always here even for the silly things you think wont matter! if they matter to you they matter to us!

im so glad Hannah is home with you now hun xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Bride2b]

I have to say on these threads I am over the moon to hear about pregnancies. Because you have all been through tough times too and dont take being pregnant for granted. You also know that if you came across someone who had a loss you would be more sensitive.

So ladies with rainbows please dont stay away or worry about talking about your rainbows as it gives us hope xxxx

 

[Andypanda6570]

I have to say on these threads I am over the moon to hear about pregnancies. Because you have all been through tough times too and dont take being pregnant for granted. You also know that if you came across someone who had a loss you would be more sensitive.

So ladies with rainbows please dont stay away or worry about talking about your rainbows as it gives us hope xxxx

I agree and I feel the same as you.
I can't tell you how excited I am when people get BFP I am just so happy for them. I don't want anyone to stay away and JO I love you..
XOXOO Love U All

 

[blav]

BLAH!

Day before yesterday, felt like AF was on her way! Had some cramps/pains most of the day (which is a little abnormal as I usually dont get too many cramps as a warning). Thought I would have spotting yesterday but nothing. Nothing this morning. BFN with FMU as well.

 

[Bride2b]

So today is CD27, 5 DPO (if I did ov). I usually get AF 12 days after ov (approx), so that means 1 week today. One week today is my OH birthday!!!

I know I didnt want to try this month & the chances that I ov'd & caught the egg from minimal bd is about 1% BUT it would mean the world to me to get a BFP next Weds for his birthday!! After all the shit we have been through, with his dad being ill and him passing away, then 2 months later losing our baby it would be amazing! I can dream cant I?! I wish I hadnt realised this now as I really want this to happen!

 

[Bride2b]

BLAH!

Day before yesterday, felt like AF was on her way! Had some cramps/pains most of the day (which is a little abnormal as I usually dont get too many cramps as a warning). Thought I would have spotting yesterday but nothing. Nothing this morning. BFN with FMU as well.

How many DPO are you? Should AF have arrived? If so when?
Whats going on????????

 

[blav]

BLAH!

Day before yesterday, felt like AF was on her way! Had some cramps/pains most of the day (which is a little abnormal as I usually dont get too many cramps as a warning). Thought I would have spotting yesterday but nothing. Nothing this morning. BFN with FMU as well.

How many DPO are you? Should AF have arrived? If so when?
Whats going on????????

I thought AF would be here today (well yesterday spotting and today full on) but nothing! Not sure when I o'd, but I think it may have been a couple days late which means AF could be a couple days late. In any case, it's torture. I just want AF to be here if she's going to be here! The test this morning with FMU didn't even have a hint of a line so I really don't think I'm preg.

 

[kiki04]

Awwww Britney

Gemma I hope you get your POS for OH's bday

AFM- I had a temp dip today so I am expecting a pos OPK today or tomorrow

 

[jojo23]

I have to say on these threads I am over the moon to hear about pregnancies. Because you have all been through tough times too and dont take being pregnant for granted. You also know that if you came across someone who had a loss you would be more sensitive.

So ladies with rainbows please dont stay away or worry about talking about your rainbows as it gives us hope xxxx

I agree and I feel the same as you.
I can't tell you how excited I am when people get BFP I am just so happy for them. I don't want anyone to stay away and JO I love you..
XOXOO Love U All

awe thanks girls love you all too!!!cant wait for the day i log on and see you girls with your bfps!!!!! nothing new to report other than being totally zonked this week just cant get into a sleep routine at all!!! how are you all doing? xxxxx

 

[Kelly9]

My hcg yesterday at 18 days pp was 18 so it should be out of my system soon and I expect to ovulate soon if my body is working the way it did after having my son. Not sure if I want to ttc before AF or not now. It's highly unlikely we'd get pg but I find it hard to just let a perfectly good egg go to waste.

Was having terrible cramps for the last two days, not sure if I mentioned, but anyway passed a big clot last night and now no cramping. White blood cell count is normal which is great! but I do have a UTI with no symptoms so started anti b's today.

Hi to everyone and blav I hope she comes or you get a bfp soon. Maybe the spotting was ov spotting or implantation if you o'd late? Have you ever had that before?

 

[Hellylou]

BLAH!

Day before yesterday, felt like AF was on her way! Had some cramps/pains most of the day (which is a little abnormal as I usually dont get too many cramps as a warning). Thought I would have spotting yesterday but nothing. Nothing this morning. BFN with FMU as well.

How many DPO are you? Should AF have arrived? If so when?
Whats going on????????

I thought AF would be here today (well yesterday spotting and today full on) but nothing! Not sure when I o'd, but I think it may have been a couple days late which means AF could be a couple days late. In any case, it's torture. I just want AF to be here if she's going to be here! The test this morning with FMU didn't even have a hint of a line so I really don't think I'm preg.

What sensitivity was the test? Have you tried a FRER or other early one? If you ov'd late it might not show yet on a normal test. The cramping is one of those 'could be either' symptoms, which is v frustrating...I'm stalking!

Gemma - good luck. I hope it's happening for you this month.

 

[kiki04]

Well I am soooo axiously awaiting my +opk and am expecting it either tomorrow or the next day... then the 2ww! OMG I just want the weekend here already so I can "pretend Im not symptom spotting"

 

[Nikki_d72]

Britney, keep us posted! GL!

Gemma, you never know honey - GL! (we only managed to dtd once the month I concieved the twins, OH had done his back in badly, it started to come right, and then the floor gave way under him, he fell through, ripped all his leg up and put his back back out again!! The poor guy managed to soldier on the once - he was all puffed up with pride that once was enough and it gave us twins...)

Krissy, Gl with OV, sounds like your body's back on track, yeeha, hope you catch it!

Helen, how you keeping hon?

Jojo - and all our rainbow carriers - don't you dare go anywhere! We have all been through such tough times, it is totally different from someone else being pregnant, especially if they take it for granted. Your new pregnancies give me hope anyway and I'm interested to hear what goes through your mind as I hope to be in the same boat one day and I want to be able to support you through any worries if I can. We have all been through this awful time together, I wouldn't dream about shutting you out now that you have a bit of happiness in your lives! This thread did start as a TTC/pregnancy after loss thread anyway, we just changed it to everything so as not to exclude anyone who wasn't at that stage yet.

I hope that everyone is well, nothing much to report here - I'm approaching my fertile time hopefully so better get ma jiggy on - better get out of my trackies and jammies into something a bit more human and appealing hehe!

Love to all xxx