Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[MaevesMummy]

I wish I had come back feeling more positive. I have basically decided not to get excited and book a private scan in 2 weeks.
On the 18th of Jan I had 1st scan I was mesuring 7 1/2 to 8 weeks. Good good in line with dates. There was a Heart beat.

This time it was a bloody circus.
I was in the appt for 6 hours. Felt tearful and upset by this anyway. You would think a big bloody sands sticker on the front of my hand held notes would mean people were sensative. But no.
The first scan was performed by an idiot. He was rude and he found a second empty scak under the first. The hearbeat was weaker than it was before I am sure. He wouldnt explain the second scak but said he would make notes so the midwife/consultant could. The blob (sorry if I offend anyone that I am affraid is how it looked and how I am thinking of it) only messured 8 weeks. So over ten days virtually no growth.
Another hours wait for M/W guess what the muppett had not noted anything!
I then got dragged into the room where they told me my waters had gone with Maeve, rescanned and they refused to re-messure.
I have been put on lupus drugs because of a rise in antibody level's which isnt good.
I have been told my next scan is a month away. Great!
Sorry for the moan, I am not very happy, and I just know its gone wrong. If it has I just want it over with.
xxxxx

 

[babesx3]

Massive hugs Maeves mummy

I must admit i called my baby a blob with a heart beat till 14 weeks when it was clearly a baby.. think its a defense mechanism, to protect from the pain of loss again...

A month is a really long time to make u wait!!! that seems really unreasonable, leaving u to suffer so long they must know what anguish this will bring u ..
my consultant told me i could have a scan whenever i felt i needed one, and just knowing i can is a big relief... have u spoken to your consultant?
Did u know your waters had gone with maeve?
I willl keep everything crossed for u that your blob will be a healthy baby in 4 weeks time xxx have to admit i would be getting a private scan tho' i don't think i would stay sane in a month of uncertainty really isn't on XXX

 

[iloveblue]

Oh Maevesmummy - I'm sorry you've been going through this. x

You say you were measuring 7.5-8 weeks at your first scan - if you take the lower bound of that, the 7.5 weeks then there has been some growth in 10 days. I know its hard but try to stay positive.
I do think it's harsh that they are making you wait another month for a scan. I've heard about lots of cases where a 2nd empty sac has been found and the first one develops normally. I don't know why they couldn't have explained this to you.
I think I would also book a private scan - somewhere where they might actually treat you with some compassion.
Thinking of you - how are you feeling physically?

 

[MaevesMummy]

Thanks both. Physically I am tiered, I think I might be a tad depressed as well. Maybe hormonal? I just want to lay in bed and cry!
The sickness has virtually gone which makes me nervous... I thhink Id rather be hugging the toilet 24 hours a day...
Thanks for your kind words. I am sure it will be ok. I just het this gut wrenching feeling about it. xxxxxxxx

 

[babesx3]

Your hormones will be raging and you are still grieving... all this uncertainty will not be helping!!! take care XXX

 

[Suze]

Big MaevesMummy, sorry to hear you firstly had a tough time again with the hospital itself
I'm sorry you also didn't get the reassurances from the scan you so needed too, maybe if there had been an additional sac ie. a vanishing twin then that could account for the slower growth of this one? I think it's a bit bad they're making you wait a month for another scan, especially as you had a recent loss however and I think the however is an important thing to note, if they had major concerns they'd have had you in again without any question.

I think booking a private scan sounds like a good idea but I also think you shouldn't have to pay for one and maybe should speak to someone about getting a reassurance scan that you really deserve without having to pay for it

 

[Imalia]

Maevesmummy. I'm sorry you're having a rough time of it, I really hope everything turns out to be OK. I'll be thinking of you over the next couple of weeks and wishing nothing but good things.

I'm surprised too they aren't going to scan you again for a month, after I lost my baby the hospital have said I can have scans more or less on demand (no more than once a week, but apart from that I can ring the epau and get a scan done whenever I feel worried or want reassurance) when I get pregnant again.

 

[iloveblue]

Good luck for tomorrow Nats xxx

 

[babesx3]

Thanks iloveblue... i'm so scared its all gonna happen again.... wish i could be knocked out for it!!!

 

[iloveblue]

Hello ladies

So glad your scan went well Nats xx

How are you doing MaevesM?

I am utterly fed up today.
Well, I've been off work for the last few days feeling rubbish - not pregnancy related - sore throat and chesty cough.
Also got a phonecall from the consultant's secretary with an appoinment date which is .... wait for it ...... 15th March!
Another 6 weeks away - so will be almost 5 months all-in-all. I was fuming earlier and still am although I have calmed down a bit.
It is also not at our local hospital as the consultant doesn't do a gynae clinic there apparently - don't know why that makes a difference, I'm sure she could borrow someone's office for an hour.

I rang secretary back and expressed my concerns about the fact that I will be 11/12 weeks pregnant by the time appointment comes around and if there is any action I need to take now (eg take aspirin, higher does of folic acid etc) it will be too late. She said she was sorry but that was the earliest appointment available and has passed on the news of the new pregnancy to the consultant. So I then said - I'm assuming that if there was anything that I should be doing the consultant would have let me know and the secretary said yes, although I am not reassured, it felt like I was being fobbed off.

I'm not sure where to turn now - can't wait another 6 weeks to discuss my concerns, I just feel like no-one is listening to me (especially after useless GP last week) .
Might ring up docs and get another appointment with a more sypathetic GP.
I'm just so fed up of it all, and feel like crying all the time.

 

[babesx3]

thats riddiculous having to wait so long!!!!! i really hope that if there was something u needed to know they would of told u !!!
Must be so frustrating not having any advice..

How are u today?

Pregnancy hormones won't be helping , but sounds like u really need some advice...how about your MW ? maybe she can pull some strings??

hope u are ok!! XX

 

[iloveblue]

I'm feeling calmer today - still off work with sore throat and generally feeling rubbish, which doesn't help.
I'm putting my faith in the consultant and the fact that she must have read the results properly (they have been on her desk since Monday) and decided that I don't need to be seen urgently. To me that also implies that they havn't found anything conclusive from the tests and PM.

Don't know if it would be best to try and get hold of midwife (havn't got a contact number for her yet) or make an appointment to see GP again (a different one this time)? Not sure if either of them would be able to help anyway.

Anyway, how are you? Are you still on a high from yesterday?
I love that pic of your little munchkin. x

 

[Suze]

I think that's disgusting that you're being made to wait til the middle of March pregnant or not
I would try speaking to a GP, asking to speak to your consultant directly and even speaking to PALS. If the information is there then it's yours and you need it, they have no reason to hold on to it. I'm sure there is no reason for this pregnancy to be affected by it but reagrdless it's YOUR information!
it makes me so angry the way women are treated sometimes. Take it higher I say!!!

 

[iloveblue]

Thanks Suze - I did consider contacting PALs actually, have their number written on a piece of paper in front of me, but wasn't sure if they would take me seriously/think I was overeacting. Don't really know much about them - is this the kind of thing they deal with?

Anyway, enough of my moaning, how are you?

 

[babesx3]

Thanks iloveblue
i'd give them a ring it really is riddiculous how long u are having to wait!!

yeah still kinda happy..

Its charlies due date tomorrow so feeling a bit weird too... been to my mums today who doesn't metion him and she even asked me the date and i said its the 3rd she said are u sure i thought it was 4th!!! i'm sure i said and said nothing else..she has no idea about his due date or care.. after i'd been swimming i mentioned it was his due date tomorrow and we were out for the day, no comment..kinda upset by her... i didn;t say anything tho' whats the point can't make someone care who doesn't .

 

[Suze]

Give PALS a ring for sure, they are there for patients needs and it's worth a try for starters! I think it would be a different matter if they didn't have the information yet but they do...to be honest hypothetically if you requested your medical notes (I'm not suggesting you do because it would be better to be seen by your consultant) you'd find out quicker than waiting until this appointment Good luck hun
I'm OKish, a lot going on for me at the moment, all fall-out from whats happened x2 over the last 6 months

 

[MaevesMummy]

iloveblue, thats so harsh I just dont think they understand sorry you have had to wait so long...

 

[MaevesMummy]

Thanks Suze - I did consider contacting PALs actually, have their number written on a piece of paper in front of me, but wasn't sure if they would take me seriously/think I was overeacting. Don't really know much about them - is this the kind of thing they deal with?

Anyway, enough of my moaning, how are you?

PAL's are great they will deal with it there and then. You should have had the consultation 3 months after. xxxxxxxxx

 

[MaevesMummy]

Thanks iloveblue
i'd give them a ring it really is riddiculous how long u are having to wait!!

yeah still kinda happy..

Its charlies due date tomorrow so feeling a bit weird too... been to my mums today who doesn't metion him and she even asked me the date and i said its the 3rd she said are u sure i thought it was 4th!!! i'm sure i said and said nothing else..she has no idea about his due date or care.. after i'd been swimming i mentioned it was his due date tomorrow and we were out for the day, no comment..kinda upset by her... i didn;t say anything tho' whats the point can't make someone care who doesn't .

Maybe she just pushed it to the back of her head. Some people cant grieve, they bury thier head.
You need to concentrate on you though. Sometimes its not worth the stress of pointing out to someone they are doing wrong.
I will be thining of you and little charlie.
Lots of love and hugs tommorow xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[iloveblue]

iloveblue, thats so harsh I just dont think they understand sorry you have had to wait so long...

Thanks MaevesM - how are you doing?