Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[iloveblue]

Thanks iloveblue
i'd give them a ring it really is riddiculous how long u are having to wait!!

yeah still kinda happy..

Its charlies due date tomorrow so feeling a bit weird too... been to my mums today who doesn't metion him and she even asked me the date and i said its the 3rd she said are u sure i thought it was 4th!!! i'm sure i said and said nothing else..she has no idea about his due date or care.. after i'd been swimming i mentioned it was his due date tomorrow and we were out for the day, no comment..kinda upset by her... i didn;t say anything tho' whats the point can't make someone care who doesn't .

My mum has also wound me up recently - we recently found out that my brother and his partner are expecting twins. They announced it at the start of Jan and we were of course, very excited and happy for them (although I did shed a tear with DH when we found out).
Just after we announced our good news (about 3 wks later) my brother was chatting to my Mum when she said 'Do you feel like Kim (my name) is stealing your thunder?' !!!

How on earth could she say such a thing when we should be having a baby in 5 weeks. My brother let it slip by accident and I couldn't stop crying (a slight overeaction due to hormones) but I felt (and still do ) very betrayed by her. We don't have a great relationship anyway - but I couldn't bring myself to speak to her for a few days after. I still havn't broached it with her - but I need to.

Anyway, will be thinking of you tomorrow Nats.
Hope the day goes gently and you have some lovely family time xxx

 

[babesx3]

Thanks iloveblue (do u mind if i call u kim then??)

my relationship with my mum is dodgy too...i havn't the strength for a fall out, so i will say nothing... u are right its between me and dh and kids..

Had a good cry last night and feel teary this am, i guess it'll be a hard day... will try hard for the kids to keep it together...
sleep tight baby charlie

 

[Suze]

Babes and lots of floaty to Charlie

 

[iloveblue]

Thanks iloveblue (do u mind if i call u kim then??)

my relationship with my mum is dodgy too...i havn't the strength for a fall out, so i will say nothing... u are right its between me and dh and kids..

Had a good cry last night and feel teary this am, i guess it'll be a hard day... will try hard for the kids to keep it together...
sleep tight baby charlie

No, i don't mind if you call me Kim.

How did your day go on Friday? How are you feeling now?

I've had a very sore back and just been absolutely exhausted over the last few days. Woke up this morning feelng really sick. All good signs I suppose.

Just seen the sad, sad news about Amanda Holden - my heart goes out to her and her family. How heartbreaking for them - she had an early miscarriage a few years ago too

 

[babesx3]

All good signs Kim!!
I was so sad yest about Amanda..brings it back doesn't it

Friday was lovely with the kids, i cried a lot on thurs pm, then was pretty much bumbled along with the kids during the day..we went to church and prayed together for charlie and mini B. Then went swimming, out for lunch and then soft play.... lit charlies candle in the evening, was to windy (and stilll is) to send up lantern...

18 weeks today.... i'm so scared all the time the baby is going to die, and i don't know that he has I have a scan tomorrow so FX all is still ok..... then its 3 weeks till the next one..really hoping i get some definate kicks by then i still get is it isn't it movement..
they will also confirm for me if baby is a boy or not....

how is everyone else??

 

[iloveblue]

Good luck for scan tomorrow Nats - try and stay positive, I'm sure he is absolutely fine. I know its hard - I'm finding it tough already and I'm nowhere near that worrying time. xxx

I just pulled out address book and found our last baby's 12 wk scan photo - I knew it was in there, my MIL hid it there when we were in hospital. But I havn't been able to face looking at it. So now I'm feeling sad

How are you doing MaevesM?

 

[babesx3]

iloveblue... is that the last live pic u have? i know i found charlies 10+ week one upsetting as was the only live pic i had of him
when do u get your first scan?

Maeves m how are u getting on?

Immalia how are you?

 

[Imalia]

Had a bit of a rough weekend thinking about my angel, but I'm mostly doing OK.

Don't know why, but I had one of those it all just hit me again moments last night, right after we bd, talk about a mood killer Maybe it has something to do withthe fact I'm very aware that if I get my bfp this month I'll have virtually identical (couple of days out) dates as I did last year with our angel and that's kind of been freaking me out a bit.

On a more positive note, it was my birthday last week, DH suprised me with by fixing up my old electric guitar that's been in the cupboard for a couple of years, so we've been rocking out and pissing off the neighbours We're going to a concert in a couple of weeks and I'm starting to get pretty excited about that, I joke to DH that if the bass player asked me, I'd throw him over in a heartbeat lol.

 

[iloveblue]

iloveblue... is that the last live pic u have? i know i found charlies 10+ week one upsetting as was the only live pic i had of him
when do u get your first scan?

Maeves m how are u getting on?

Immalia how are you?

Yes, it is the only live pic I have, as only had one scan at 12 weeks. We never made it to the 20 week scan, which was booked in for a week after we lost the baby. I always wonder if the baby hadn't died when it did - if something might have been picked up at 20 wk scan, but that would have been worse in a way.

Not sure what's happening with regards to scans this time -I'm not overly concerned about having an early one.
I would like extra ones around the 16-20 week mark and I will be pushing for this when I see my midwife and consultant, even if is only for reassurance. The consultant did say we could have extra scans at this stage when I mentioned it in the hospital (goodness knows how I managed to think ahead and ask all the questions I did at the time!) so it should be okay.

 

[iloveblue]

Had a bit of a rough weekend thinking about my angel, but I'm mostly doing OK.

Don't know why, but I had one of those it all just hit me again moments last night, right after we bd, talk about a mood killer Maybe it has something to do withthe fact I'm very aware that if I get my bfp this month I'll have virtually identical (couple of days out) dates as I did last year with our angel and that's kind of been freaking me out a bit.

On a more positive note, it was my birthday last week, DH suprised me with by fixing up my old electric guitar that's been in the cupboard for a couple of years, so we've been rocking out and pissing off the neighbours We're going to a concert in a couple of weeks and I'm starting to get pretty excited about that, I joke to DH that if the bass player asked me, I'd throw him over in a heartbeat lol.

Sorry you've had a rough weekend Imalia - that was a lovely thing for your DH to do.
What concert are you going to see?

 

[babesx3]

iloveblue... is that the last live pic u have? i know i found charlies 10+ week one upsetting as was the only live pic i had of him
when do u get your first scan?

Maeves m how are u getting on?

Immalia how are you?

Yes, it is the only live pic I have, as only had one scan at 12 weeks. We never made it to the 20 week scan, which was booked in for a week after we lost the baby. I always wonder if the baby hadn't died when it did - if something might have been picked up at 20 wk scan, but that would have been worse in a way.

Not sure what's happening with regards to scans this time -I'm not overly concerned about having an early one.
I would like extra ones around the 16-20 week mark and I will be pushing for this when I see my midwife and consultant, even if is only for reassurance. The consultant did say we could have extra scans at this stage when I mentioned it in the hospital (goodness knows how I managed to think ahead and ask all the questions I did at the time!) so it should be okay.

i know how u feel we only had the one scan too so many questions and what ifs!!

 

[babesx3]

Had a bit of a rough weekend thinking about my angel, but I'm mostly doing OK.

Don't know why, but I had one of those it all just hit me again moments last night, right after we bd, talk about a mood killer Maybe it has something to do withthe fact I'm very aware that if I get my bfp this month I'll have virtually identical (couple of days out) dates as I did last year with our angel and that's kind of been freaking me out a bit.

On a more positive note, it was my birthday last week, DH suprised me with by fixing up my old electric guitar that's been in the cupboard for a couple of years, so we've been rocking out and pissing off the neighbours We're going to a concert in a couple of weeks and I'm starting to get pretty excited about that, I joke to DH that if the bass player asked me, I'd throw him over in a heartbeat lol.

 

[Imalia]

We're going to see a band called The Crave, they're kind of obscure and not well known, in fact this is their first headline tour. I pretty much adopted one of their songs when the album came out just after we lost our angel it just seemed to fit how I felt so completely. Anyway here's a youtube video of them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfJo2QnEXmI

 

[iloveblue]

Oooh, I quite like them Imalia. Not my usual kind of thing - but that song is quite catchy. Hope you have a fab time - you need to relax and let your hair down. xx

 

[babesx3]

Maeves mummy how areyou? thinking about you and hoping youare ok!!

 

[iloveblue]

Maeves mummy how areyou? thinking about you and hoping youare ok!!

Yes me too - hope you're okay xx

 

[Imalia]

Maeves mummy how areyou? thinking about you and hoping youare ok!!

Yes me too - hope you're okay xx

Make that me three, been worrying about you since your last post.

 

[MaevesMummy]

Sorry I havent been on for a while
I have been feeling a bit mental. No longer worried about miscarrying. Haveing absolute nightmares about pPROM'ing and bleeding again.
I know its daft and they are only dreams but it really is scary! I hope everyone else is well. I dont want to come on here being really negative thats all...
Also saw a counsellor today and he called Maeve a miscarriage! I cam close to walking out. I allready told him I have issues with that word anyway, but actually pfficially, she was neonatal death...
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr
I think my hormones have made me a monster this week! x

 

[MaevesMummy]

Had a bit of a rough weekend thinking about my angel, but I'm mostly doing OK.

Don't know why, but I had one of those it all just hit me again moments last night, right after we bd, talk about a mood killer Maybe it has something to do withthe fact I'm very aware that if I get my bfp this month I'll have virtually identical (couple of days out) dates as I did last year with our angel and that's kind of been freaking me out a bit.

On a more positive note, it was my birthday last week, DH suprised me with by fixing up my old electric guitar that's been in the cupboard for a couple of years, so we've been rocking out and pissing off the neighbours We're going to a concert in a couple of weeks and I'm starting to get pretty excited about that, I joke to DH that if the bass player asked me, I'd throw him over in a heartbeat lol.

I frequently sobbed after bd'ing. Its emotional.
It sounds like you had a great birthday, it sound like it was just what you needed! xxxxxx
Hoping for you Imalia. xxxxxx

 

[iloveblue]

Sorry I havent been on for a while
I have been feeling a bit mental. No longer worried about miscarrying. Haveing absolute nightmares about pPROM'ing and bleeding again.
I know its daft and they are only dreams but it really is scary! I hope everyone else is well. I dont want to come on here being really negative thats all...
Also saw a counsellor today and he called Maeve a miscarriage! I cam close to walking out. I allready told him I have issues with that word anyway, but actually pfficially, she was neonatal death...
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr
I think my hormones have made me a monster this week! x

Good to hear from you MaevesM.
I can't believe your counsellor said that - how insensitive and just plainly wrong. xx