Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[MaevesMummy]

Hopefully I have a new ticker now xxxx

 

[Suze]

Love the ticker and happy 15 weeks

 

[babesx3]

yay for ticker!!!! happy 15 +1 lol!!!

 

[Bally]

Hi, I'm new to here, not sure if this is the right place to post.

I Lost my baby boy Tommy at 18 weeks. Went for my first scan on the 21st February and was told he had severe spins bifida at his head and it hadn't formed properly and he wouldn’t survive out side womb. I went into hospital on the 26th Feb to be induced and had him at 13:50. I miss him so much and feel empty inside now. He was my first baby.

Me and my partner want to try again; I take it we have to wait until my 6 week appointment before TTC?? I have stopped bleeding and I feel my body is getting back to normal so hopefully I get the all clear at my 6 weeks appointment. The doctor has put me on 5mg of folic acid just now.

 

[wish2bmum]

Suze, great news about your scan, it must be awful wanting to be so happy that you are pregnant, but fearing the worst with every cramp and movement. I wish you all the best and send lots of sticky baby dust your way.

Hi Bally, I'm sorry to hear of your loss, there's no words to describe how you feel in those early days, I lost my boy at 16wks, 2 weeks ago tomorrow and its the thought of TTC again that has pulled me through the darkest times. There's lots of different advice on when to start trying again, I have searched high and low on the forum for answers and it seems the answer is when its right for you, try again! I'm hoping my cycles return asap as before I got pregnant they were all over the place. Good luck in your journey, and again I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[Bally]

Hi Wish2bmum, thats whats helping me at the moment knowing I want to ttc again as soon as I am ready, its the only thing keeping me going. Just need to see what happens now, what will be will be. I dont really want to try untill I have been for my check up, it will be hard waiting 4 more weeks.

 

[babesx3]

Bally , sorry to hear of your recent loss...
I was told that i could try as soon as i felt ready...
Every part of me was screaming to be pregnant again..so tried straight away, i got pregnant 6 weeks after my loss...all is going well so far ..FX... had a scan yesterday and baby is alive fit and well and growing nicely.. its very nerve wracking, thats the downside, and i feel like i am still grieving for my charlie

 

[Imalia]

I was the same Bally. I wanted to start ttc again right away, but I felt I needed to know what happened before I did. I didn't want to ttc, get pregnant, then get the test results through and find I had set myself up for the same heartache again if it was something that was likely to reoccur. It wasn't, just a one-off random bad luck.

Looking back now, I sometimes laugh at myself for that. Right away we were ntnp, and then started ttc four months ago. Seven months after losing our angel, still no sign of a bfp, and I wonder why I worried that it would happen before the results came back. It's kind of why I only really hover around a lot of the time, what do I have to say but, nope, I'm still not pregnant.

 

[babesx3]

Imalia.. we're here to offer each other support..

 

[Bally]

Part of me wants to ttc in the next few weeks but im scared of the same thing happening again, even though the doctor said it was just nature, and not anything I did wrong.

Good luck with the remainder of you pregnancy babesx3

Imalia hopefully you will get a bfp soon

 

[TButterfly]

Hi my name is Marie,

I loss my first born at 25 wks in December last year. I had an infection and went into early labour, they think that I may have an incompetent cervix. I am trying to conceive at the moment. This is my third month of trying. Thought I join this group for support and to support others.

 

[wish2bmum]

one thing my oh taught me whilst I was in labor was that your body will tell you when its ready, listen to your body. (Its not a regular thing, this is one of the only things he's taught me in 10 years) and I firmly stick by this now, I don't think my body will ovulate until its ready to conceive a baby so if it happens straight away then its meant to be. Who'd have thought I'd ever be wishing for morning sickness again, but I'd give anything to be pregnant again.

Hello marie, and welcome I am sorry to hear of your loss, happy to hear thaty you are ttc and hope your journey is a short one.

 

[iloveblue]

Hi everyone
and welcome to Tesharika, Bally, Jojo and TButterfly - phew its getting busy on here!

It was our due-date on Tuesday, passed in a blur really - I was working, being a teacher I cant take days off willy nilly and my head had already kindly agreed for me to have today off (more about that later).
But we did sit down in the evening and had a chat about things and lit a candle for our baby. It suprised me how emotional I felt really - I was on the verge of tears all day, but have been like that a lot recently.
We are going to plant a tree but are waiting for the weather to get better first.

But, today, we had our appointment with the consultant. It was rescheduled from next week as she is on call.
We found out that our baby was a boy and that he was perfect - the post mortem found nothing wrong with him at all.
The only thing they did discover was that he had died at about 17 weeks - 3 weeks before we lost him forever.
That does explain a lot - why I had no milk, why I never felt him move, etc. She said they had suspected that from the scan, but noone had told me that at the time - I think it would have helped to have known.
Anyway, all my bloods came back clear. They lost one set - which was testing for a type of APS, so I had to go and have some more blood taken today. But the consultant said she would be very suprised it that too wasn't normal.
I'm not sure what to think really - its frustrating that we don't know what happened, and very sad to know that we lost our little boy, but I'm also relieved that we know all there is to know now.
I feel like I can start to move on.

We also talked about my latest loss and the consultant also agreed with my GP, that it is very unlikely that they are linked and more like just bad luck. She has said that with my next pregnancy (I'm being positive - there will be one) I can have a reassurance scan at about 8 weeks as well as an extra scan at 17 weeks and she is going to inform my GP of that.

I'm glad all is going well with you Suze. Hope it continues to do so. x

Love your new ticker MaevesM and all it represents x

I'm so glad Mini B is continuing to grow strong Nats x

How are you getting on with TTC MissM? Will you be POAS soon?

Its good to be back - I've missed you all. xxx

 

[babesx3]

iloveblue
its good to have u back
Your loss sounds exactly the same as mine with charlie..he had died at about 17 + weeks ..and i'd of not known had i not had an extra consultant appointment for gynea issues and she just couldn;t find HB.. o therwise i would never have know till 20+ weeks scan
Charlie too was found to have nothing wrong its so heartbreaking and feels so wrong doesn't it..
have u decided to name your baby?
Glad u will be TTC again and extra scans will hopefully help ease concerns.... i've had 8 so far slightly excessive....

Marie welcome .
so sorry to hear of your loss..
hope your TTC journy is a short one!!! XX

 

[MissMaternal]

iloveblue it's nice to see you back I may not post alot, but i'm always lurking to see what's going on with you girls! I am pleased that you finally got your PM results. I can understand totally that it is frustrating for no reason to be found, but it is also a good thing i think. It does make it hard though, knowing that there is no named cause for our babies deaths I really hope you do feel that you have done all you can, you had a PM done, and although it was "inconclusive" so to speak, you couldn't have done anymore than that.
I hope you are feeling ok...how are you physically now? TTC is going well thanks. Jumping on OH at every opportunity Am on CD15, so hopefullu OV has taken place/will take place very soon!!! I am SOOOO desperate to POAS!!!!!!


xxx

 

[iloveblue]

iloveblue
its good to have u back
Your loss sounds exactly the same as mine with charlie..he had died at about 17 + weeks ..and i'd of not known had i not had an extra consultant appointment for gynea issues and she just couldn;t find HB.. o therwise i would never have know till 20+ weeks scan
Charlie too was found to have nothing wrong its so heartbreaking and feels so wrong doesn't it..
have u decided to name your baby?
Glad u will be TTC again and extra scans will hopefully help ease concerns.... i've had 8 so far slightly excessive....

Marie welcome .
so sorry to hear of your loss..
hope your TTC journy is a short one!!! XX

It does feel wrong Nats doesn't it - I mean there must have been something wrong with him or me which has so far gone undetected.
And it feels more real to me now I know he was a boy.
I would like to name him - mentioned it to DH earlier and he was a bit dismissive, but I think its something I need to do, even if its just for me.

I was chatting with my boys earlier and told them that we'd been to the hospital to find out why our baby died, and that they didn't know what had happened and that the baby had been a boy.
My eldest just looked and me and said
'Whenever you talk about the baby your face looks sad - I feel so sorry for you' and then gave me a big hug- he's such a sensitive soul.

 

[babesx3]

aww thats so sweet of your son...

it drives me nuts not having a reason for charlies death.. i keep analising everything i did, everything i ate or drank, the stress levels etc etc... i am so careful about EVERYTHING this pregnancy... not much fun, but its the only way i cope, that i know i have done nothing wrong..not that realistically i did before ..

iloveblue.. i'll be here to try help u when u get your bfp!!...when are u planning on starting to TTC..or are u just going for it??
its tough on men too i think.. i watched a program last night about babies born at 23 weeks.. kinda a bad idea.. but i noticed my husband had tears in his eyes too watching it..he was saying how it brought it all back, cos the babies looked like charlie..... i don't think they think about the babies as often as we do , but that doesn;t mean they don't care.....
My dh did just let me chose the name charlie..he didn;t like it pre having him as a baby name , but i really wanted it so he agreed..and now it really suits him...
what names did u have?

 

[iloveblue]

Thanks Nats - that means a lot. x
Regarding the TTC - I think we are going to NTNP for a few months. I don't want to get all worked up about ovulation, DTD, POAS like I did last time - it was so exhausting. I just want to forget about it for a while and let nature take its course.
I am feeling very positive at the moment - I think the Springness in the air is helping too, and I know I will get pregnant again and have a successful pregnancy.

I agree with what you said about how men react - my DH seemed to sail through the whole experience, but it was better that way in a sense, as he was then able to support me in the way I needed.
They obviously don't have the same bond that we do with our babies but I know he was sad yesterday when we found out we'd lost a little boy.

 

[TButterfly]

Aww thank you iloveblue and babesx3 for welcoming me here. It is reasuring to read that ur dh's have dealt with things in a different way. My dh is also very supporting and it was only when we went to a SANDs meeting that I saw him upset after the day we lost our daughter Erica.

Erica's due date is fast approaching on the 20th March and I like the idea of lighting a candle. I can feel myself getting more emotional as it gets closer

 

[TButterfly]

Really upset today. A good friend of mine had her baby yesterday and I found out today. I am so happy for her, but it made me think about Erica. We were pregnancy buddies, as our babies were due two weeks apart and we always said they would be bestfriends. I am in the process of writing her a card, but really don't know what to say in there.

Really hard trying to stay positive and concentrate on ttc. Trying not to upset myself too much, as I know it may effect me getting pregnant again.

Any suggestions of what I could put in her card would be great.