Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[iloveblue]

Sorry for your loss Gem.
Congratulations on the birth of your twin sons - they are gorgeous x

 

[MaevesMummy]

Did they not say what the bloods were for?
maybe they are to check HCG levels? to make sure they go back to 0.
Did u request a PM?
I was asked to have extra bloods about 2 weeks after i had charlie to check for a virus they found in my blood.... got me all worried, but it turned out not to be the cause of death, they just look into everything if u request a PM....

I was treated very gently before and after i had charlie, someone met me and took me where i needed to go... i think you were just be looked after..

Hope u are all well..xxxx


CONGRATS Suze... new bump buddy!! your lines are looking great

I'm having big wobbles about going for a scan...
I just keep thinking about the last time i went for one thinking everything was fine and being told charlie had died.... just makes my tummy churn... I want one cos i know i'll feel better about this pregnancy, it just makes me feel so anxious, the thought of lying on that bed...

Thank for that feel much better about it now... It was just a shock after the lack of care we recieved after Maeve's birth.
They are doing loads of Coagulation tests and Lupus tests I think.
Clotting is a well known issue in Lupus pregnancy.

We let them take x ray's and a small biopsy but she was so perfect we refused a full Post mortom.
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[MaevesMummy]

I've still got my faint BFP, I'm hoping the lines get darker but I' actually only 3+5 so I can't expect too much just yet.

Maevesmummy - Do you think they were trying to be over-caring by 'escorting' you but actually over did it and it came across as weird?
I know when we went back to get our results a nurse came and got us from the main hospital reception...I just thought they were trying to be extra professional? By the way I will reply to your PM and tell you what happened to us, it's quite long so I've not got round to it just yet but promise I will

Congrats on the BFP!


Yes it looks fairly normal its just we were not sure what to expect as they just forgot about us after the birth...
Dont worry about replying untill you want to. Mine was rather long winded! Waiting for a response, get all results in December.
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[MissMaternal]

Hi everyone Thank you for creating this thread! It's just what we needed My name is Sarah and I am 23 years old. I have had 2 second trimester losses in the last 6 months.

We found out our daughter Freya had died at our routine 20 week scan on 6th May 2010. I had no warning signs-her heart just stopped beating. I had medical management to induce labour and she was born on 9th May 2010, at 20+3. No reason was found for her death. She was so beautiful xx

Our second loss happened recently, on 6th November. I started bleeding at 17+4, and went to hospital for a scan. No heartbeat was found, and doctors said it looked like the baby died a few weeks ago as it was measuring small. Again we opted for medical management to speed up the process but baby passed at home on 9th November (on Freya's 6 month anniversary.)

I am still bleeding at the moment, but we hope to TTC ASAP. It would seem i am quite fertile, as it only took 1 cycle to get pregnant with Freya, and 2 cycles with the second baby. Second Tri loss appears to be so much more common than i could ever have imagined before it happened to me, and i hate that we all have to go through this. But i'm pleased that we are all here to give each other support xx

 

[MissMaternal]

Double post!

 

[iloveblue]

Hi MissMaternal
I'm so sorry for your losses - can't imagine how it must feel to go through this twice. You sound very positive and brave. I am sure it is going to be third time lucky for you.

Are you going to wait for your first AF before you start TTC?

We lost our baby 3 weeks ago today (also at 20+3) - I've stopped spotting, am just waiting for AF to arrive, but am very impatient!!

 

[Imalia]

I'm so sorry you have had to go through this twice, I couldn't even imagine it, I only just made it through once with my body and soul still mostly intact.

I'm currently waiting to test, but I have a gut feeling it's not our month this month.

 

[babesx3]

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[babesx3]

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[babesx3]

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[MaevesMummy]

It feels kinda odd telling people i'm pregnant again....
I don;t want to keep it a secret as with my first 3 kids i told people straight away i was so excited, but with my last pregnancy i decided not to tell people till after the dating scan. i was a little embarrassed at being PG and worried what people would say... I was really happy and wanted our baby... anyway we all know what happened to my baby charlie...
So this time i don't want o hide or be ashamed that i'm pregnant .. i want to tell everyone,, be loud and proud.... but it feels disrespectful to charlie too... but i feel i need to tell as i want this pregnany to be different to charlies so the same thing doesn't happen.. IYKWIM?? i know its nothing i did that killed charlie its just i keep trying to do things different.. like we went camping the weekend before i found out he'd died.. i've told dh i won't go next year..just in case.....
i guess i'm just worried about this pg...
sorry for rambling i prob don't make any sense...

I dont know what to say, it must be difficult. You do what you want to do. Nothing you did caused any of the problems.
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[Imalia]

GOT my FX for a BFP for u!!!
When are you going to test?

Probably next weekend, if I can hold out that long. I don't think I'm actually going to be too disappointed if it's not this month, but the waiting and not knowing is driving me nuts. I wish someone would come up with a way to eliminate the tww, I consider it cruel and unusual punishment lol.

 

[iloveblue]

It feels kinda odd telling people i'm pregnant again....
I don;t want to keep it a secret as with my first 3 kids i told people straight away i was so excited, but with my last pregnancy i decided not to tell people till after the dating scan. i was a little embarrassed at being PG and worried what people would say... I was really happy and wanted our baby... anyway we all know what happened to my baby charlie...
So this time i don't want o hide or be ashamed that i'm pregnant .. i want to tell everyone,, be loud and proud.... but it feels disrespectful to charlie too... but i feel i need to tell as i want this pregnany to be different to charlies so the same thing doesn't happen.. IYKWIM?? i know its nothing i did that killed charlie its just i keep trying to do things different.. like we went camping the weekend before i found out he'd died.. i've told dh i won't go next year..just in case.....
i guess i'm just worried about this pg...
sorry for rambling i prob don't make any sense...

I can understand how you feel Nats. And how you feel disrespectful to Charlie.
We did it the other way round really - and told everyone quite early with my most recent pregnancy. Looking back, I think I was quite complacent as it was my third and had no problems with first two. It wouldn't have made any difference anyway as either way we would have told people after 12 wk scan - and everything was fine at that point.
If i had my way this time I we wouldn't tell anyone till 20 wks!!!! But judging by my bump last time it would be pretty obvious a long time before that.
And actually thinking about it if I did get pregnant again and something happened before 20 weeks I would want people to know about it, cause obviously we would be in a bit of a state.
I'm hoping it will become obvious what to do when we get there.
Don't know if this makes sense........

 

[babesx3]

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[babesx3]

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[Imalia]

wow u have more will power than me if u can wait till next weekend!!!

good luck!!!

It's not just willpower, although that plays a part in it. I just don't like testing before AF is due at least, too much chance of a false negative that will just drive me more crazy than waiting will.

 

[MissMaternal]

Hi MissMaternal
I'm so sorry for your losses - can't imagine how it must feel to go through this twice. You sound very positive and brave. I am sure it is going to be third time lucky for you.

Are you going to wait for your first AF before you start TTC?

We lost our baby 3 weeks ago today (also at 20+3) - I've stopped spotting, am just waiting for AF to arrive, but am very impatient!!

Thank you. I feel a lot more positive this time around, definitely. I really do hope it will be third time lucky!! We probably won't wait. I'll see how i feel though, because last time we 2 weeks after we lost Freya, and that was clearly too soon seeing as i started bawling my eyes out afterwards... I'm so sorry for your loss... Have you TTC already or are you waiting until after AF? xx

I'm so sorry you have had to go through this twice, I couldn't even imagine it, I only just made it through once with my body and soul still mostly intact.

I'm currently waiting to test, but I have a gut feeling it's not our month this month.

One of the things i have learnt through the last 6 months is that it's true, time really is a healer, even if it sounds a little cliche. Each day gets easier, and i know that just how i slowly recovered from losing Freya, i will do the same again with this loss. A loss takes away a small piece of us with it when the baby dies, but you will start to feel stronger if you aren't already, i promise. I will be praying for a for you .... xx

Its too awful to contemplate losing a second baby.. my heart goes out to u!!! it is a very real fear i have about this pregnancy , that it could happen again...
Have u had an indication of why this has happened again?
Massive for you!!

Fx u get pregnant again quickly, are you waiting for a cycle or just going for it?

Thank you hun...i had that same fear with this pregnancy, and unfortunately the same did happen. But i think that ANYONE who has had a loss will be apprehensive about future pregnancies, it's only natural. We just have to try and think positive, no matter how hard that may be
We won't find out why this has happened...this baby only measured 11 weeks even though i was 17 weeks, so it's too small to require testing. They found nothing wrong with Freya though when they tested on her. Am going to see how it goes with TTC..just going to go with the flow so to speak.. xx

 

[Imalia]

We won't find out why this has happened...this baby only measured 11 weeks even though i was 17 weeks, so it's too small to require testing. They found nothing wrong with Freya though when they tested on her.

I think was my biggest fear when we lost our son, that there would be no reason, and therefore nothing to fix for next time. We got half a reason I guess, a reason, but no reason for the reason, iykwim. Our problem was intrauterine growth restriction caused by a circumvellate placenta and hypercoiled umbilical cord, but those are just random things on their own and there's not really anything that can be done to prevent them, though they're not likely to happen again.

I think that either if there had been nothing wrong, or we already had other children I would have quit there and then, and not faced being pregnant again, but after 13 years of trying I'm just way too stubborn to admit the world has beaten me on this yet.