Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[babesx3]

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[babesx3]

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[MissMaternal]

We won't find out why this has happened...this baby only measured 11 weeks even though i was 17 weeks, so it's too small to require testing. They found nothing wrong with Freya though when they tested on her.

I think was my biggest fear when we lost our son, that there would be no reason, and therefore nothing to fix for next time. We got half a reason I guess, a reason, but no reason for the reason, iykwim. Our problem was intrauterine growth restriction caused by a circumvellate placenta and hypercoiled umbilical cord, but those are just random things on their own and there's not really anything that can be done to prevent them, though they're not likely to happen again.

I think that either if there had been nothing wrong, or we already had other children I would have quit there and then, and not faced being pregnant again, but after 13 years of trying I'm just way too stubborn to admit the world has beaten me on this yet.

13 years oh my gosh....i cannot even imagine how that feels. I truly hope your day comes soon to be a mummy xx
It is reassuring in a way to know that problems were found in your pregnancy that are "random" and unlikely to happen again. I had so many people tell me this time "This time you'll be fine, you would have to be very unlucky to have another late loss"....and here i am. So i understand that "random" occurrences don't make things any easier. xx

 

[iloveblue]

Hi everyone
How are you all doing?
I'm okay - still a bit up and down.
Seeing my GP tomorrow as due to go back to work on Tuesday and don't feel ready.

 

[Imalia]

Well it's looking like another no month for me. Despite my insistance I was going to wait until the weekend, yesterday (11DPO) FRER was bfn, today (12DPO) EPT 10mui was also bfn. AF isn't due until Friday, but at this stage I would expect one of the sensitive tests to be showing bfp if it were so.

I kind of had a gut feeling this wasn't my month anyway, but I'm still devestated. I can't go through this much more. 13 years ttc and four pregnancies that have all ended in a loss of one kind or another, an average of four years ttc each time and it never lasts, and I am sick of seeing everyone else who wants it get pregnant within a few months of trying and no matter what I do, I can't win.

 

[MissMaternal]

Hi everyone
How are you all doing?
I'm okay - still a bit up and down.
Seeing my GP tomorrow as due to go back to work on Tuesday and don't feel ready.

Glad to hear you are doing ok. I am doing ok too, i'm not taking this loss anywhere near as hard as i did when i lost Freya. I think i took it harder with her because i was slightly further along (20 weeks like you) and because we knew the sex, which creates an extra bond i think. This time, we don't know what the sex was, and i had a bit of forewarning that things were wrong when i started bleeding. It was more of a shock with Freya because we went happily along to the 20 week scan, all excited, and boom.."no heartbeat." No warning at all. I still feel sick when i relive that moment in my head.

As for work, i would only say please please do not go back before you're ready You're doing the right thing by seeing your GP if you're not ready to go back. I had 4 weeks off when i lost Freya, and it will probably be the same this time because i'll have 3 weeks off followed by a week of holiday. I think i probably could face some people, but i work with someone with a due date 2 days before mine so that's what is holding me back at the moment.

Sorry girls i'm rambling!

Imalia hun i really have no words for you I truly can't begin to imagine what it feels like for you, and how disheartening it must be. Remember we are here for you if you need to offload. I never got a BFP with Freya until the day AF was due, and with my recent pregnancy i didn't get one until i was 3 days late. I really hope this is your month, but if not, we will support you towards getting one next month
xx

 

[momatobe]

I lost my baby boy at a similar time the year before though. I really never got over it. I don't like getting into what happened. That's actually the first time I've said it. I've been ttc since the time I could. I don't know. Hoping this time I'm actually preggo but I'm not like at all pregnant as far as weeks go. But it's funny the lmp so far I'm four weeks lol. not really tho.

 

[Imalia]

We were ntnp from as soon as we could, only really started trying this cycle. I'm starting to think it would just be easier on me and everyone around me if I just gave up and called it a day. Sometimes it feels like the sooner I accept I'm never going to be a mummy, the better off I'll be.

 

[momatobe]

We were ntnp from as soon as we could, only really started trying this cycle. I'm starting to think it would just be easier on me and everyone around me if I just gave up and called it a day. Sometimes it feels like the sooner I accept I'm never going to be a mummy, the better off I'll be.

You're still a mom. Just because your baby's in heaven doesn't make you any less of a mom.

 

[iloveblue]

We were ntnp from as soon as we could, only really started trying this cycle. I'm starting to think it would just be easier on me and everyone around me if I just gave up and called it a day. Sometimes it feels like the sooner I accept I'm never going to be a mummy, the better off I'll be.

Dont give up Imalia.
I can't remember if you said - have you had any testing to try and ascertain why this keeps happening?

 

[MaevesMummy]

We were ntnp from as soon as we could, only really started trying this cycle. I'm starting to think it would just be easier on me and everyone around me if I just gave up and called it a day. Sometimes it feels like the sooner I accept I'm never going to be a mummy, the better off I'll be.

Dont give up Imalia.
I can't remember if you said - have you had any testing to try and ascertain why this keeps happening?

iloveblue has a good point Its important in case you have a clotting disorder.
I cant even begin to imagine what you have been through xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Imalia]

Yeah we've had testing, and after we lost our son in July they did a full pm and investigations. Apparently I'm just really unlucky. If there's a random chance of something going wrong, it will for me. There's no reason it should be so hard for me to get pregnant, and there's no reason I should keep losing my babies either. I just seem destined to always be in that small percent who crap out on the odds. It's the story of my life. There could be 100 tickets in a raffle, I'll buy 99 and still not win.

 

[iloveblue]

Yeah we've had testing, and after we lost our son in July they did a full pm and investigations. Apparently I'm just really unlucky. If there's a random chance of something going wrong, it will for me. There's no reason it should be so hard for me to get pregnant, and there's no reason I should keep losing my babies either. I just seem destined to always be in that small percent who crap out on the odds. It's the story of my life. There could be 100 tickets in a raffle, I'll buy 99 and still not win.

I'm sorry you're having to go through this Imalia - it must be extremely hard, especially when there are no answers.
But please don't give up hope - your luck has got to change soon

 

[MaevesMummy]

Yeah we've had testing, and after we lost our son in July they did a full pm and investigations. Apparently I'm just really unlucky. If there's a random chance of something going wrong, it will for me. There's no reason it should be so hard for me to get pregnant, and there's no reason I should keep losing my babies either. I just seem destined to always be in that small percent who crap out on the odds. It's the story of my life. There could be 100 tickets in a raffle, I'll buy 99 and still not win.

I'm sorry you're having to go through this Imalia - it must be extremely hard, especially when there are no answers.
But please don't give up hope - your luck has got to change soon

II am keeping everything crossed for you. You have been through so much, but keeping a positive hope counts .
Thinking of you

 

[MaevesMummy]

How long did it take your cycles to get back to normal afterwards. I had one AF, due on again yesterday, not even a flipping sign of it yet?!
I want it back to normal so we can start TTC
I was regular before.

xxxxxxx

 

[Imalia]

Mine went back to normal fairly quickly. I bled for around 4 weeks after delivering my son, then got my first AF two weeks later and have been a consistant 28 days since then.

13DPO and still BFN on FRER today.

 

[MaevesMummy]

Still nothing I have a bad feeling that there is something not right. I have an appointment on 2nd of December so was going to start trying that week (I would have been ovulating then) but this sucks.

I laid awake last night worrying what if I never have another one again...

 

[iloveblue]

Have you taken a test Maevesmummy??? Is there anyway you could possibly be pregnant?

 

[MaevesMummy]

I dont think so we didnt do anything at the right time, I realised being pregnant again as quickly as possible wasnt going to make things easier just at the time when i would have ovulated.
I dont have any symproms either, last time as soon as I i was pregnant I just knew as my chest was so sore!
I guess it takes time for your body to get back to normal...
Will do a test if it hasnt arrived tommorow though to be sure.
xxxxxxxxx

 

[iloveblue]

I dont think so we didnt do anything at the right time, I realised being pregnant again as quickly as possible wasnt going to make things easier just at the time when i would have ovulated.
I dont have any symproms either, last time as soon as I i was pregnant I just knew as my chest was so sore!
I guess it takes time for your body to get back to normal...
Will do a test if it hasnt arrived tommorow though to be sure.
xxxxxxxxx

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