Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[mhazzab]

Hi there ladies, sorry not been chatting alot today... I think the illness stuff starts full on today! Still have a nasty throat, tired and feeling sick all the time. When I cough it feels like I'm going to be sick but I'm not - my whole body reflexes but nothing comes out! urgh! And I'm just getting so upset at the moment. I cried today thinking to myself I don't want to be sick like this if it means going through what happened to us in March... I HATE the not knowing and the constant anxiety of it all! And I know that we are so blessed to have concieved and everything but it is just so so so stressful at the moment. I am so grateful for you ladies. Thanks for listening and being there. xxx

Erica - I'm sorry you've not been well, it's hard when you can't talke much for it. I was quite calm when I first got my BFP, but, as time goes on, I'm getting more and more attached to my little one, which I think is leading me to get more paranoid that something is going to go wrong and that I'm going to get hurt again. Let's try to get through this together. x

Good Morning Ladies!!

Well... I think I may be out.... When I woke up this morning I didn't test because when I went to the bathroom I noticed a tiny spot of pink CMin my panties and when I wiped it was pink .... I'm guessing it is my AF showing... Poopy ..

Mhairi.... All still ok and good??

Kelly, I'm sorry you've noticed some blood...grrr stupid witch. Well, if you look on the bright side, you and your man will get some more action again this month, more than you normally would if you are anything like me when it comes to baby making, lol.

I'm not great today, not baby related though. Dad has been taken into a Hospice this morning as he's now very weak, it was awful seeing him get carried out of the house, he was in so much pain. (he's got terminal cancer with just a few days left to go, apparantly). I'm feeling very emotional, it was so hard to watch, and was a very unwelcome reminder of my mum's death from cancer which will be four years ago next Saturday. Urgh, sorry guys, just feeling sorry for myself today. I think I will just have to go and eat some chocolate to cheer me up, I've been trying to eat healthily but sometimes a girl's just gotta have chocolate.

xxx

 

[KamIAm]

OH Mhairi!!! That is terrible!!! I hate this for you....

I will be sending loves and prayers to you as well as your dad ... Spend as much time as you can with him... I know when I lost my grandmother (she raised me, she was my mom) .... at the end, I didn't want to see her like that so I hid ... Didn't visit as much.. It was hard seeing her so sick and wanted to remember her as she was BUT that is a HUGE regret of mine... Everyone else was there ALL the time and I wasn't.... Soooo, I'd say, no matter how hard it is seeing him sick and in pain, be there... In the long run, it's helpful.... I am sure you don't need any advice, since unfortunately you have experienced this with you mum ..

That's comforting to know your girls are with your mum ... I love to imagine Emma with my grandmother, I can imagine her rocking and singing all her silly lil songs she used to sing.... ♥

I'll be thinking about you .... Please keep me posted.... Wish there was more I could do...

Eats Lots of Chocolate!! Heck, Your allowed!

 

[Hellylou]

Mhairi, I am so sorry about your Dad - what a terrible time for you all. Thinking of you today

And chocolate has iron in it - all good!

 

[Andypanda6570]

Hi there ladies, sorry not been chatting alot today... I think the illness stuff starts full on today! Still have a nasty throat, tired and feeling sick all the time. When I cough it feels like I'm going to be sick but I'm not - my whole body reflexes but nothing comes out! urgh! And I'm just getting so upset at the moment. I cried today thinking to myself I don't want to be sick like this if it means going through what happened to us in March... I HATE the not knowing and the constant anxiety of it all! And I know that we are so blessed to have concieved and everything but it is just so so so stressful at the moment. I am so grateful for you ladies. Thanks for listening and being there. xxx

Erica - I'm sorry you've not been well, it's hard when you can't talke much for it. I was quite calm when I first got my BFP, but, as time goes on, I'm getting more and more attached to my little one, which I think is leading me to get more paranoid that something is going to go wrong and that I'm going to get hurt again. Let's try to get through this together. x

Good Morning Ladies!!

Well... I think I may be out.... When I woke up this morning I didn't test because when I went to the bathroom I noticed a tiny spot of pink CMin my panties and when I wiped it was pink .... I'm guessing it is my AF showing... Poopy ..

Mhairi.... All still ok and good??

Kelly, I'm sorry you've noticed some blood...grrr stupid witch. Well, if you look on the bright side, you and your man will get some more action again this month, more than you normally would if you are anything like me when it comes to baby making, lol.

I'm not great today, not baby related though. Dad has been taken into a Hospice this morning as he's now very weak, it was awful seeing him get carried out of the house, he was in so much pain. (he's got terminal cancer with just a few days left to go, apparantly). I'm feeling very emotional, it was so hard to watch, and was a very unwelcome reminder of my mum's death from cancer which will be four years ago next Saturday. Urgh, sorry guys, just feeling sorry for myself today. I think I will just have to go and eat some chocolate to cheer me up, I've been trying to eat healthily but sometimes a girl's just gotta have chocolate.

xxx

Mhairi.. I am so sorry. I know what it is like to be around someone with cancer it is so hard and to keep the faith and your strength is so hard as the days pass I want you to know I will light a candle for your father and you and I am sending so much love and hope.. Try to be strong, I know how hard this fight is for your dad.. We love you XOXOXO

 

[dnlfinker]

I am sorry about your dad! I unfortunatly also know what is like to see
someone who is dying in front of my eyes , but i cant imagine how hard it is
being your parents. I know its not comparable , but I spend about 3-4 weeks
with my best friend , going in and out of the hospital to visit her dying grandpa. We knew eachother for more then 10 years and he just really deteriated in front of our eyes. Please stay strong as you can , its really tuff for you. Its nice to have people by your side that can help you get through this time. I know it does not mean much right now , but in my religion we believe that if someone close passes away, the fact taht you are expecting right now might mean that the soul of your dad might be your baby. I am sorry if it does not make sense. I am not good in explaining things.

Please stay strong and know that we are here for you if you ever need to talk

Natalie

 

[KamIAm]

Update from me .....

It's official friends .... I'm out this time around.... The Ol' got me ...

I'm feeling OK ... My spirits are still upbeat, I know IF and WHEN it's SUPPOSE to happen, our rainbow will come

Good Luck to the rest of you that are still waiting this month!!



..... Just keeping myself busy with all the normals in my wee lil life...

Thanks Chicka's for being such great friends and an amazing support system, I'm so thankful

 

[Hellylou]

Update from me .....

It's official friends .... I'm out this time around.... The Ol' got me ...

I'm feeling OK ... My spirits are still upbeat, I know IF and WHEN it's SUPPOSE to happen, our rainbow will come

Good Luck to the rest of you that are still waiting this month!!



..... Just keeping myself busy with all the normals in my wee lil life...

Thanks Chicka's for being such great friends and an amazing support system, I'm so thankful

Ah yuk sorry to hear this. Boo...

Glad to hear you're out but not down, if that makes sense!

Loving those little smilies. I will find something for what I am up to...



That just about covers it!

 

[ericacaca]

Update from me .....

It's official friends .... I'm out this time around.... The Ol' got me ...

I'm feeling OK ... My spirits are still upbeat, I know IF and WHEN it's SUPPOSE to happen, our rainbow will come

Good Luck to the rest of you that are still waiting this month!!



..... Just keeping myself busy with all the normals in my wee lil life...

Thanks Chicka's for being such great friends and an amazing support system, I'm so thankful

Aw boooooooooooo!

On the plus side though... it means more practise

And you can at least do this and not feel too bad about it......

And one day will reach there and actually survive the journey! It is just truly amazing how hard it is for those little men to get in us you know!

 

[KamIAm]

Hee hee hee .... Love all those lil smileys' .....

 

[Nikki_d72]

Oh Mhairi, I'm so sorry about your Dad, I hope you find the strength to go through it with him, hopefully in hospice he'll get a bit of help with the pain at least. It's rotten.

Kam, so sorry the witch got you, you're still sounding so upbeat, you're amazing! Here's to next month and loads more Loads of for you.

Collie, I hope you are OK? Has there been any more? It is more than likely just your little bean snuggling in some more. Also my cousin had a full-blown period for the first 3 months when she was pregnant (she actually got rushed to hospital in labour, thinking she had appendicitis, she had no clue she was pregnant. That still astounds me, I don't know how you could miss it, but that's another story - she was quite a big girl but still...). My point is, lots of women can bleed even a lot when they would be due their period normally and still be absolutely fine. It may just be your body trying to do it's normal thing. I know that probably won't stop you worrying, but I hope it helps a teeny bit. for you as well.

Erica, hope you are feeling better soon!

AFM, DD & I had a good day of retail therapy yesterday, spent too much but did buy loads of vegetable seeds, so hopefully will save us money in the long run and we can feel all smug about being healthy, if I manage to actually grow any. I've never grown veggies, only flowers and things, so we'll see. I bought a book too as all my gardening books are for the Northern Hemisphere and just too confusing to figure out all the months backwards!

DD has decided she wants us all to do the boys big pot together so we haven't done that yet, will do at the weekend, as it's decided to snow to fairly low altitudes overnight, despite being about 18degrees a couple of days ago, mad. Hope you are all well, I'm still in a bit of a huff, hehe!


Love to allXXX

 

[Andypanda6570]

Update from me .....

It's official friends .... I'm out this time around.... The Ol' got me ...

I'm feeling OK ... My spirits are still upbeat, I know IF and WHEN it's SUPPOSE to happen, our rainbow will come

Good Luck to the rest of you that are still waiting this month!!



..... Just keeping myself busy with all the normals in my wee lil life...

Thanks Chicka's for being such great friends and an amazing support system, I'm so thankful

Yes you will remain upbeat till we both get our and we WILL get them, my buddy.
Love your attitude, I will follow and stay positive..
XOXOOXOX

I wanted to ask has anyone heard from, Amanda?
I really hope she is ok, I am a little worried she has not been on today..If anyone has talked to her please let me know.. Ok I see Amanda was on today but she didn't post ?
XOXOXOOX

 

[jojo23]

sorry to hear the witch got you hun xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx mhairi so sorry to hear bout your dad my thoughts are with you hun!!

 

[collie_crazy]

Sorry if I worried anyone I didnt mean to I was so busy yesterday had lots to do in the morning, my 2nd psychology appointment and then work at 3pm - I did manage to get on but only on my phone and then it wouldnt let me post! Grrr! Anyway I am ok - no more blood or anything since then.

You know actually I feel very conflicted right now. I really wanted to get pregnant and I am excited that I am but I am so scared that something will happen. I cant even bring myself to add a ticker and I havent called the doctor yet - its like I feel myself trying not to acknowledge it too much The last time me and OH were so excited we talked all the time about names nd plans and things and this time hardly anything - its like we are scared to make plans and get happy again. It makes me sad.

Anyway enough of my pity party!

Mhairi I am so sorry to hear about your dad. It must be so tough on you all Cancer is such a cruel and awful disease Eat as much chocolate as you want - you deserve it

Kelly I am sorry got you She is a very wicked witch indeed! But I am glad you are staying positive - onwards and upwards :aww:

Erica I'm sorry you are feeling so ill... But think of it as a good sign too hunny, lots of sickness = lots of hormones = strong beany

Nikki sorry your still in a huff but it cant be long till its time to start the BDing again is it? Good luck with the veggies plan I cant even keep a plant alive! I've managed a cactus for the last 6 months and its still alive Cant believe there is snow around you. I think it will be coming here too soon - they're predicting another horrible freezing snowy winter

 

[Hellylou]

So glad the spotting has stopped, Amanda!

I can understand the subdued reaction to the pregnancy. I think it's a mixed blessing - wanted so badly, then when it happens reality sinks in, because you know how worried and cautious you're going to be this time around. It's going to be a rollercoaster ride for all of us getting our rainbow babies for sure. I still look forward to being on that ride though, scary though it will be!

 

[Nikki_d72]

Amanda, so glad you are OK. I can imagine how scary it is and not acknowledging it fully is a self-defense mechanism and seems to be pretty common, from what I've read. I hope you can find some small sense of calm even for a few minutes each day.

I'm not that confident on the veggie thing but it gives me something to focus on, there's quite a lot to learn and very different climate from I was used to so learning to do things differently!

Oh I hope you don't get another of those freaky winters - the one we left in was bad enough and then the next was worse again, I thought there was no way it could be repeated! It was wall-to wall snow and ice for about 3 months solid in Central Scotland, it was insane.

Hope everyone is well. My AF is coming to an end I think but I'm still mega-crampy, I never normally get this for this long. I'm getting pain near my left ovary area as well, it's bizarre. I'm worrying now that there could be some residual infection there. I was given IV before discharge from hospital then 2 types of anti-b's for two weeks but how do they know it's gone, no tests were done? I'm getting paranoid I know but it is odd.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am so happy you are ok, Amanda...
I think i would feel the same as you if I got my BFP
I want to be pregnant SO bad , but I am SO terrified also, so I think I have an idea of how you feel. I think it is totally normal to feel this way. I think it will take a while and honestly I think you will be nervous the whole pregnancy until you finally have your precious baby, I know I will be. You have youth on your side, Amanad and I just know everything will be ok and you will have a healthy pregnancy.

 

[ericacaca]

Amanda, I know how you feel. We didnt see doctors until last weeks at just over 6 weeks and I just wanted to drag it out and see him later than that. And then when I was told you need to see the midwife at around 8 - 10 weeks I wanted to see her at 10 weeks, but got 8! argh! Last time I saw midwife at 6 weeks.... I just don't want to do all these official things yet if it doesnt happen for us again! Our scan is at 12 weeks.

I'm off to see midwife now, I'm pretty sure she's going to moan about my weight... I've put on at least 20lbs since losing baby girl. Argh!

Erica xxx

 

[KamIAm]

Good Morning Ladies!!!

I'm telling ya, I am SUPER excited to see Amanda has returned to the flock and checked in with us.. Hahaha Young Lady, don't make me .... Anyways, Amanda... I was just worried and thought ALOT of you... SO glad you posted and let us know how your doing.. I understand the busy part though too.... SOOO thankful to hear the bleeding stopped! BUT like Nikki said, I have heard women who have their periods through out their entire pregnancy.. I'd just watch it tho... I completely understand your fears, as much as I want to have my rainbow, just the thought scares the crap out of me, think once I see bfp.. my butt will no longer move and be admitted into the looney bin LOL... It is scary for sure!!! Just know we are ALWAYS here for you ...

Nikki... One with the green thumb .. I have recently found a love and passion for planting... Still don't know much, at all but I suddenly love it... This has been since Emma, I think it's just another distraction that I have found ... I like to find lots LOL... (I also bought a book and DVD to teach me how to knit LOL) .. I'd love to have a garden but I don't have much room where we are living at the moment BUT once we move, Yippee... Gardening here I come! Nikki, I can't believe it's already that cold there!!! WOW!!!! Mercy! Guess I never really thought about y'alls weather that way ... It's just now starting to get chilly here, kids finally wore coats this morning to school but once the sun comes out coats will be off.. It's gonna be warm and sunny here today!! YAY ...

Mhairi and Erica... How are you fine ladies doing today??? Erica- you have an appointment today or soon? Did I read that right? Whew, when I read the previous post that was a LONG 5 minutes ago LOL... Mhairi, when is your next appoinment?? Gotta keep tabs on you girls

Andy, I find TRYING to stay positive.. helps thru pretty crappy stuff makes it not as crappy... ... I know, like my terminology Sooo , here's to positive waiting for our lil rainbows ...

Tanya... How in the heck are you feeling??? You know I HAVE to symptom spot you ... Hahaha ... Your AF is due this weekend right?? Sooo, I'll be doing the Anti-AF dance for you ... FX'd!

MummyStobe... You been doing alright????

OH! AFM, I'm great.... Just enjoying day 2 of this AF! YEA RIGHT! Just hanging in there and being thankful for everyday I get and for everything and everyone I have in my life ...

Hope you all are having a great day!!

 

[collie_crazy]

I am such a POAS-aholic I think I need to go to counselling or something for it I just peed on a clearblue digi and it now says Pregnant 2-3

 

[KamIAm]

Amanda.... I'd be doing the exact same thing!! In fact, think I'd be continuing to POAS until I have my first scan!

So glad to hear those results tho..... Yay... A lil farther, growing that baby!!