Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[ericacaca]

Hi there ladies. Back from booking appointment with midwife. I've been referred to a consultant to be on the safe side as when we lost Baby I lost alot of blood once I delivered - and that should be looked into. Plus I have a BMI over 30 so am classed as "low risk". But I know that I havent got diabetes or anything and I've been over 30 before, before I lost alot of weight so its nothing to really get worried about. My blood pressure isnt too bad either so thats a bonus.

Midwife was really sympathetic about our loss at 18 weeks. At first she thought I said 10 so I had to re-explain that I knew the procedures etc and that I was in labour with Baby.

Funny thing is, when she introduced herself she said "I'll be seeing you right up until your baby is in your arms" I welled up... and blubbing even thinking about it now. God, I really want this one to stick around.

Hope you are all ok and glad its Friday!

Erica xxx

 

[Andypanda6570]

Hi there ladies. Back from booking appointment with midwife. I've been referred to a consultant to be on the safe side as when we lost Baby I lost alot of blood once I delivered - and that should be looked into. Plus I have a BMI over 30 so am classed as "low risk". But I know that I havent got diabetes or anything and I've been over 30 before, before I lost alot of weight so its nothing to really get worried about. My blood pressure isnt too bad either so thats a bonus.

Midwife was really sympathetic about our loss at 18 weeks. At first she thought I said 10 so I had to re-explain that I knew the procedures etc and that I was in labour with Baby.

Funny thing is, when she introduced herself she said "I'll be seeing you right up until your baby is in your arms" I welled up... and blubbing even thinking about it now. God, I really want this one to stick around.

Hope you are all ok and glad its Friday!

Erica xxx

This baby will stick around and he or she will be beautiful, I know it I am so very happy for and so proud of you, you are so strong and so brave and you don't even know it.
I am thinking of you and sending so much love..XOOXOOXOOXOXO

 

[Nikki_d72]

Hi there ladies. Back from booking appointment with midwife. I've been referred to a consultant to be on the safe side as when we lost Baby I lost alot of blood once I delivered - and that should be looked into. Plus I have a BMI over 30 so am classed as "low risk". But I know that I havent got diabetes or anything and I've been over 30 before, before I lost alot of weight so its nothing to really get worried about. My blood pressure isnt too bad either so thats a bonus.

Midwife was really sympathetic about our loss at 18 weeks. At first she thought I said 10 so I had to re-explain that I knew the procedures etc and that I was in labour with Baby.

Funny thing is, when she introduced herself she said "I'll be seeing you right up until your baby is in your arms" I welled up... and blubbing even thinking about it now. God, I really want this one to stick around.

Hope you are all ok and glad its Friday!

Erica xxx

This baby will stick around and he or she will be beautiful, I know it I am so very happy for and so proud of you, you are so strong and so brave and you don't even know it.
I am thinking of you and sending so much love..XOOXOOXOOXOXO

Well said, Andrea - I'll second that! XXX

 

[Andypanda6570]

Hi there ladies. Back from booking appointment with midwife. I've been referred to a consultant to be on the safe side as when we lost Baby I lost alot of blood once I delivered - and that should be looked into. Plus I have a BMI over 30 so am classed as "low risk". But I know that I havent got diabetes or anything and I've been over 30 before, before I lost alot of weight so its nothing to really get worried about. My blood pressure isnt too bad either so thats a bonus.

Midwife was really sympathetic about our loss at 18 weeks. At first she thought I said 10 so I had to re-explain that I knew the procedures etc and that I was in labour with Baby.

Funny thing is, when she introduced herself she said "I'll be seeing you right up until your baby is in your arms" I welled up... and blubbing even thinking about it now. God, I really want this one to stick around.

Hope you are all ok and glad its Friday!

Erica xxx

This baby will stick around and he or she will be beautiful, I know it I am so very happy for and so proud of you, you are so strong and so brave and you don't even know it.
I am thinking of you and sending so much love..XOOXOOXOOXOXO

Well said, Andrea - I'll second that! XXX

 

[yazoo]

Hi girls, Sorry I have been MIA for a couple of days. I'm going to read back on the posts & see how you all have been getting on.

 

[yazoo]

Hang in there Tanya.... You are very, VERY strong, beautiful woman... I pray you get your BFP SOON!!! ... Yes, our cycles are very close.... Fingers crossed babe ...

( I love how your spelled jakob ... )

Thanks Jo jo!!! How in the heck have you been??? Doing alrighty??

Aww Thanks Kelly. I love the spelling of Jakob's name too. I'm sorry the blasted witch got you. It is great that you are so upbeat. It just means another month of more practice.

Hey Hayley, Jakob was born a day after Max so we should be fairly similar alright. What symptoms are you having?

Nikki I hope you enjoyed the day with your wee one. You & her deserve it.

Amanda I am so glad that the spot of blood turned out to be nothing. I know I haven't got pregnant yet but I think I will be exactly the same as you. We were so excited last time I was pregnant but I feel like next time I won't get as excited because I will just be setting myself up for another hard fall. As time goes on hun & you experience no problems your excitement will grow & you will be able to enjoy your pregnancy & celebrate the life inside of you.

Erica chin up babe, all the worrying and anxiety will be worth it in the end when you are taking your little rainbow home from hospital.

I have my little godson visiting at the moment. He is the cutest thing ever. He's only 7 months old. I love having him here but it makes me kind of sad too thinking of Jakob & how they would have been buddies & grew up together. As far as symptoms go all I am experiencing is super wind but I get that before and during AF (sorry TMI). Other than that I don't really have any symptoms. I really hope the witch doesn't show her face but if she does then I will keep my chin up & try again. This baby making stuff isn't exactly an easy task for those . Feeling a little more positive today, the thoughts of AF showing up a couple of days ago filled me with dread but I think Andrea & Kelly's positivity has rubbed off on me. lol

 

[Andypanda6570]

Hang in there Tanya.... You are very, VERY strong, beautiful woman... I pray you get your BFP SOON!!! ... Yes, our cycles are very close.... Fingers crossed babe ...

( I love how your spelled jakob ... )

Thanks Jo jo!!! How in the heck have you been??? Doing alrighty??

Aww Thanks Kelly. I love the spelling of Jakob's name too. I'm sorry the blasted witch got you. It is great that you are so upbeat. It just means another month of more practice.

Hey Hayley, Jakob was born a day after Max so we should be fairly similar alright. What symptoms are you having?

Nikki I hope you enjoyed the day with your wee one. You & her deserve it.

Amanda I am so glad that the spot of blood turned out to be nothing. I know I haven't got pregnant yet but I think I will be exactly the same as you. We were so excited last time I was pregnant but I feel like next time I won't get as excited because I will just be setting myself up for another hard fall. As time goes on hun & you experience no problems your excitement will grow & you will be able to enjoy your pregnancy & celebrate the life inside of you.

Erica chin up babe, all the worrying and anxiety will be worth it in the end when you are taking your little rainbow home from hospital.

I have my little godson visiting at the moment. He is the cutest thing ever. He's only 7 months old. I love having him here but it makes me kind of sad too thinking of Jakob & how they would have been buddies & grew up together. As far as symptoms go all I am experiencing is super wind but I get that before and during AF (sorry TMI). Other than that I don't really have any symptoms. I really hope the witch doesn't show her face but if she does then I will keep my chin up & try again. This baby making stuff isn't exactly an easy task for those . Feeling a little more positive today, the thoughts of AF showing up a couple of days ago filled me with dread but I think Andrea & Kelly's positivity has rubbed off on me. lol

It will happen for you I know it. Just keep the faith and know we are all in this together..
XOXOOXOXOX

 

[collie_crazy]

Erica I'm glad your appointment went ok and your midwife was nice I'm also pleased to see that you are having the blood loss looked into and under consultant care I'm sure they will look after you - and what your midwife said is true - this will be your take home baby

Thinking of you Tanya! Lots of people dont have any symptoms before a BFP so fingers crossed for you!

How are the rest of us doing?

I hope Mhairi is doing ok Thinking of her lots today

I got a little gift in the post today and its really made me smile!

 

[MummyStobe]

Sorry that the got you Kelly but it’s good to see you staying so positive and think of all the fun you can have next month

Amanda I’m so pleased that the spot of blood turned out to be nothing and that your POAS has showed that you are now even more pregnant I completely understand how you are feeling at the moment. Although I haven’t got my yet, I know that I won’t be able to get excited when I do. I’m going to be so terrified and I’ve already decided that we are going to keep it quiet for as long as possible (with the exception of you ladies!)

Erica I’m glad to hear that your midwife appointment went well and you have been referred to the consultant for extra care. I really believe this will be your take home baby.

Tanya I’m sure that Max and Jakob are playing and causing mischief with all the other angel babies My nephew is 7 months old too and he is the most amazing little person, I love him so much but he makes me want one of my own that little bit more than I already do. Have you POAS yet? I’m holding out til next week but I’m only managing it because I haven’t got any in the house. Not really had any more symptoms except with both my other pregnancies I had a patch of skin on my back that went really dry and itchy and last night it was itching like crazy again – I’m probably reading too much into it though and don’t want to get my hopes up.

Thinking about Mhairi today. Sending big

 

[Andypanda6570]

Erica I'm glad your appointment went ok and your midwife was nice I'm also pleased to see that you are having the blood loss looked into and under consultant care I'm sure they will look after you - and what your midwife said is true - this will be your take home baby

Thinking of you Tanya! Lots of people dont have any symptoms before a BFP so fingers crossed for you!

How are the rest of us doing?

I hope Mhairi is doing ok Thinking of her lots today

I got a little gift in the post today and its really made me smile!

That is absolutely beautiful and so precious, cherish it..
XOXOXOOXO Thinking Of You..

 

[mhazzab]

thanks for your messages guys, I really appreciate it.

I'm doing okay, feeling quite strong at the moment, dad is no longer in any pain and died peacefully, and for that, I am grateful.

The funeral is on Thursday, and for the next few days while my brother is in town we just have lots to organise as we are joint executors of the will and jointly inherit everything so there's lots to do.

Before you ask...I've been making sure I look after myself and my little one. I'm only 6 weeks yet my stomach has really grown in the last couple of days and I look visibly pregnant...my plan to keep it quiet till I get close to when I lost the girls is now probably out the window!!

I got an appointment in the post to see the consultant on the 15th, it included information on a scan, so hopefully I will be getting one of those

Hope you are all okay, I've been trying to read all the posts but just haven't been up to replying.

Going out tonight to the local fireworks display, this is one of my favourite days of the year so should put a smile on my face.

xx

 

[KamIAm]

Well, as you all know ... This was our first month of ttc after the loss of Emma and we're out this month ..... BUT wanted to share something with you girls..

First off I must say, my dear OH is NOT, let me repeat.. He is NOT a talker... He never talks about ANYTHING, much less anything too touchy, such as Emma... We NEVER NEVER NEVER talk about her together... I talk about her all the time, and include her in MY daily life but not OURS ... I know, it sucks but that's the way he is... I'm learning (slowly) that everyone deals differently Anyways.... We was home alone last night (this usually happens MAYBE once a month) so when this happens we enjoy it... We decided to go out for a nice dinner... So, I gussy myself up , heck, even put on makeup! LOL ~That's another change since Emma, I used to pretty myself up everyday but now that hardly ever happens, I know I have to change that ...

Anyways back on track... lol... We go to dinner and while we're sitting there chit chatting a lil a lady walks over to our table and as soon as I look up I seen who she was I felt all the blood rush from my head.... It was the chaplin that did Emma's memorial service! Ugh! Yea! She did the normal, "how are you both?" stuff... He immediately kept answeing her in simple short and sweet answers... In fact, he said "we're perfect!" ..she just looked at him with THIS look ... Good Grief.... Well after some small chit chat and mentioning that she has missed me at our local meetings (I have been going alone, he won't) and then she left....Well, it just opened the door for conversation! He was uncomfortable the entire time she was there and for a lil afterwards but finally settled down so then I pounced We had a nice lil chat of Emma and he finally shared a teeny tiny bit of feelings... He misses her.... Emma was his first... And then he said the minute I told him I stated my AF this month, he felt sad, a kick in the gut. Wow, that is a LOT for him to say... I'm telling ya , he never talks about how he thinks, what he wants, how he feels... He's one of those lol.... Well, we really didn't talk too much cuz I purposely didnt' wanna sadden our date sooo that was about it....
When we went home shared some cuddles and feel asleep..... When we woke this morning I mentioned to him that I had a CRAZY real dream! It was sooo real it was wild and I chalked it up to the fact that we had THAT conversation last night... So I told him a quick version of my dream, (we had a baby, it was a boy, we named him William Benjamin, and called him Ben) ... Well, after I mentioned I had a dream, he said he did too......
Are you ready for this!!!!!!!
He said something woke him early this morning, he thought he was awake, it was the voice of a little girl... Saying.. "I'm ok daddy" ....
Well, the weird thing, He actually woke me up early this morning, he was talking in his sleep, saying "I'm ok too."!! When I heard him, I thought maybe he was awake so I asked him "what honey?" but he never answered and I seen he was actually sleeping so I just left that alone and went back to sleep ... WEIRD!

Wow!!

As soon as he told me this I got chills and a sudden wave of excitement and peace.. First that he finally experienced something and secondly that he shared this with me! .... I have experienced weird dreams before , right after her passing, but he always just looked at me like I was just going crazy and that it was just greif... To be honest, I have always been a critic with this issue. NEver believed in these things, until Emma....

I can't tell you how different I feel and think this morning....

OK..Honesty time....When we decided last month to start ttc, I wanted to soo badly BUT I felt terribly guilty and felt like I shouldn't, like I was trying to replace Em'! I actually felt like I was trying to hide it from her as well as everyone else... SIlly huh ... Today, I feel as she is really OK, and OK with mom and dad trying to give her a lil sibing .. I feel on cloud nine since me and OH actually talked and he shared so much with me...
We got to share our Emma together for a brief evening...... I'll treasure that time until next time

Thanks friends for reading my long rambling....

And Andrea...... I guess maybe the girls thinks it's long enough, and that their mommies need to start feeling better ...
Love their lil visits ....

 

[KamIAm]

Oooohhh... I was soo excited about sharing that story forgot to mention something else....

Praying November is my month!! I know crazy huh ... Lil fast huh ... Not being pushy am I LOL!!

Let me explain .... All 3 of my girls was concieved in November!!!.... got my BFP's with each of them in December... In fact, December 10th is the day I peed on the stick to find out Emma was added to our family ...

I have never stopped and put all that together until now...

Their birthday dates is ... August 2 ... August 15 (emma due date) and then August 28!!! IF I got preg again this November, I'd have another August baby!!!

How weird is all that????

I know, I am seriously going crazy now... It's official

 

[MummyStobe]

Wow Kelly I have just had a major case of goose bumps reading your story. I'm sat in what was going to be Max's room (next to a boiling radiator) and I'm now freezing cold and have got the strangest feeling running down my back and arms.

I'm so pleased that Emma has bern able to give you a sign that she is ok and that it is ok to ttc and you have gained comfort from your experience. It reconfirms my belief that all of our angels are with us and want us to be happy Xx

 

[MummyStobe]

Actually your story has reminded me of a couple of experiences I have had since losing Max that I would like to share.

Firstly, my MIL has a friend who is a bit if a medium, she's done a couple of readings for me in the past and there has always been something very specific to me in them that has been true/has gone on to happen. The biggest one being that she said there was going to be a pregnancy on a maternal link to me and that the pregnancy was going to come with lots of jealously that would have to be kept in check. Well in 2010 just after me and Mark got married my little sister (who has never wanted babies) found out she was pregnant and there was me, newly married and desperate to start a family and yes I was very very jealous. I admitted my feelings to my sister and she helped me work through them and my nephew is the most precious little human being and the one person who had never failed to make me smile since losing Max.

Anyway I've gone off the point. MIL's friend has passed on the message that both of our babies are watching over us and they both love us and that the first baby was also a little boy who looks just like Mark. I struggled to accept this at first because I don't really think of my early miscarriage as losing a baby, I coped at the time because it had never got as far as developing into a baby, it was just cells to me but I now get comfort from knowing they are together and probably causing all sorts of trouble!

Also MIL's friend bought her a handkerchief embrodied with a butterfly for her birthday (the Monday before we lost Max). Butterflies were the theme of our wedding and we have seen them in the strangest of places since losing Max, it was almost like the gift was a sumbol of tears and that butterflies are important.

Secondly, one night when I went to bed I was feeling particularly sad, I asked Max out loud to come and cuddle me. I fell asleep with the blanket that we had wrapped him in at the hospital and in the middle of the night I was woken by the feeling of someone wrapping their arms around me as if they were cuddling me from behind. I was facing Mark at the time and there was no one behind me.

And lastly, one of my hobbies is cross stitch, I was always going to sew something for Max and decided I still want to even after losing him. I'm stitching his name with 2 Peter Rabbit characters as they were on the blanket the hospital gave us. One day as I was working on this, one of my legs went ice cold but the rest of my body was warm. I told Mark that Max was sat on my knee and I explained what I could feel, he felt my leg and compared it to other parts of my body and said he could feel it too. After i'd acknowledged it the cold feeling intensified and the hand that Mark touched me with was also freezing cold.

I've got great comfort from all of these experiences and I really believe they have helped me come to terms with losing Max.

I love you my little angel, I know you'll always be with me and you'll be forever in my heart until the day I can hold you in my arms again.

 

[KamIAm]

Wow MummyStobe!!! What amazing stories!! Thank YOU for sharing with us!! WOW ...

I would love to hear everyone's stories...

I treasure all my lil visit's from Emma... Before I lost her, I honestly wasn't a true believer... man, has she changed my opinion...

I went to the cemetery this afternoon ...took her a pretty pink heart shaped balloon with a princess wand

 

[Andypanda6570]

(happy tears) I think we all our getting signs in our own way, how precious it that?
I was so weak and I can't even say how much I have cried over this little miracle that was taken from me. Thursday i cried so so much that one eye was swollen shut .. That is when I screamed please give me something please let me know she is ok, I can't take this pain in my soul anymore, I just could not take it anymore

Friday that woman came to me, I just cherish this encounter and I know it was God and Ava telling me I need to let go, I need to move on and I need to start living for myself. Our angels know that we will be with them one day and they will have us all to themselves forever, but I think in the mean time they want us to take care of things down here and let them live up there.

Just let me say this I am not a believer in anything mystical or psychic stuff and I need a lot of proof of demons and angels and supernatural stuff. But somehow in some way I believe that when someone passes and they watch people they love suffer so much that they will do anything to get a message to them so they know it is ok, these are our messages, we know our babies are up there and they are ok.
A complete stranger told me things she could have never known, hugged me and then walked out of my life.
I am a believer now and I think only when it happens to you will you be one also.

Don 't worry if you didn't get your sign yet, you will.
XOXOOXO I love you all so very much .....................

 

[ericacaca]

Thank you so much for all the positivity ladies... I'm feeling it and really trying to believe it too and hear it without welling up all the time!

Gosh, there are alot of signs ladies. And I'm glad you've been given peace about things lately... As a christian the one thing that gets me through is knowing that our little girl is in heaven and we will meet her one day! My friend has a huge massive family there (she's had over 5 miscarriages) and one day her dream of having that will come true. My friend from church said to me a few weeks after it happened that he believed it was a girl and she would be singing her heart out all the time and God loving it..... I didnt know if she was a girl then as he said this before we had our post mortem... my Auntie also told me she believed Baby was a girl too.

The morning we had a really faint line with this baby I went to mass with school (its a Catholic school) and the reading was from Luke when the angel Gabriel said to Mary to not be afraid and she will be with child and give birth to a son! Not that I'm going to give birth to the 2nd coming or anything..... but as soon as I heard these words I was shaking and really hoping noone else saw me! Needless to say that evening we checked again and it was a BFP!

But to me I'm still realy cynical about it.... I won't believe its a sign until its actually proven right. I'm not as trusting as I was before, and as understandable as that I wish I was again.

Hope you're having a lovely evening xxx

 

[Andypanda6570]

Thank you so much for all the positivity ladies... I'm feeling it and really trying to believe it too and hear it without welling up all the time!

Gosh, there are alot of signs ladies. And I'm glad you've been given peace about things lately... As a christian the one thing that gets me through is knowing that our little girl is in heaven and we will meet her one day! My friend has a huge massive family there (she's had over 5 miscarriages) and one day her dream of having that will come true. My friend from church said to me a few weeks after it happened that he believed it was a girl and she would be singing her heart out all the time and God loving it..... I didnt know if she was a girl then as he said this before we had our post mortem... my Auntie also told me she believed Baby was a girl too.

The morning we had a really faint line with this baby I went to mass with school (its a Catholic school) and the reading was from Luke when the angel Gabriel said to Mary to not be afraid and she will be with child and give birth to a son! Not that I'm going to give birth to the 2nd coming or anything..... but as soon as I heard these words I was shaking and really hoping noone else saw me! Needless to say that evening we checked again and it was a BFP!

But to me I'm still realy cynical about it.... I won't believe its a sign until its actually proven right. I'm not as trusting as I was before, and as understandable as that I wish I was again.

Hope you're having a lovely evening xxx

 

[Nikki_d72]

Wow, those stories are amazing! So glad you are being brought some peace with these unmistakable signs ladies. xxx

All the best to you all xxx