Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[KamIAm]

Hayley, I'm just now logging in and seen you had a bit of a scare over the weekend.... I am sooo glad you are going in tomorrow for a scan, even if it's just to rest your mind I've always heard brown blood is old blood BUT I know how our mind works... blood is blood .. I am more than sure when you go for your scan your lil one will be just fine hon

Nikki ... Good grief, seems like I have been waiting forever to see how you turn out this month Haha ... I know I'm holding my breath... Have you been having any symptoms this time around?? I know I haven't, at all! So guess well see if my AF makes it ugle presence anytime from now thru Dec 1... If not here Dec 1, then I'm preg.. So, well see... I still haven't tested.. Think this month I'm too scared BUT man I really wanna! Trying to hold out

How is everyone else doing?? I have now glad for the Thanksgiving weekend to being over with, WHEW... I'm exhausted... Had a house full pretty much all weekend, guess that was a good thing, it kept my mind totally off the normal obsessing.. "How many DPO am I?" .. You know, those typical morning thoughts .. LOL

Also I've been busy with OH.. He's surprised me by deciding and planning a vacation for us and all the kids...! Gonna finally get to sneak away for a week , well be leaving the day after Christmas!! Countdown to the beach has began!

 

[jojo23]

Just a quickie to let you know I've spoken to the midwife this morning and she's got me a scan tomorrow after I finish work. I'm relieved I don't need an excuse for my colleagues because I don't want them to find out yet. Pleased I'm going to be getting checked out but terrified they won't find a heartbeat.

Glad your getting checked out hun!! dont worry too much hun ill say a lil prayer for you tonight and be thinking of you xxxxxxx

 

[dnlfinker]

Hi ,

I am sorry i did not reply to all of you guys , we just came back yesterday.

Nikki how are you? I hope that your AFdidnt show this month . I think we are only days apart and you mentioned that you are waiting to find out.

MummyStobe, Amanda ,Hayley and everybody else who has their rainbow in the making: I am so glad that your little ones are giving you little signs to go by to let you all that that they are ok. I remember when I was pregnant , I was checking everyday to see if I have something so it would give me some kind of relief. For my first pregnancy , I bought a baby monitor so that I can check the heartbeat daily but to be honest, its not the best option because my daughter freaked me out twice.

Kelly: I am so happy that your husband is comming around and taht you guys are going away. It really does help to change the athmosphere once in a while.Perhaps there is even a bigger suprise behind the one that he told you about. YOur OH really cares about you and want to make it up to you.


Yazoo ,Amanda, Nikki and Kelly: Good luck to you this months I think that three of you are in the waiting period. I know how frustrating it can get, crossing my fingers and praying for you!

As for me : I am on day 32 of the cycle with BFN and no signs of AF comming.
I belive that its over for me this month because at this point BFP is very unlikely. ITs weird because on the day that I was suppose to get implantation I felt the twiching (maybe I imagine) so I was sure that I got it this month but I was proved wrong over and over again.

 

[Nikki_d72]

Hayley, so glad you're getting checked out, everything crossed for you hun.

Kelly, so glad you are getting away, that will be so good for you all. What a nice surprise. Hoping you have a celebration by then because your Af hasn't come, really hoping.

Nat - wow, day 32, are your cycles usually as long as that? Lots of women don't get BFP's until way later, not sure why. It's not over till the witch appears hun, here's hoping!

AFM, the witch got me this morning which I pretty much knew as I was craving chocolate all day yesterday. Hmph. Ah well, no rainbow for me by due date now, wasn't meant to be I guess. I saw a great big lovely rainbow yesterday too and took it as a sign, I haven't seen one since the boys were born and they don't appear here very often but hey-ho. Way too much stress going on here I think to conceive anyhow. I think I might just forget about it for a while and try again in a couple of months, I can't handle this along with everything else that's happening with DH's work and all that. I'll probably change my mind come OV time though! Then again it might be nice to be able to get horribly drunk at Christmas so I might skip this month.

Hope you are all well....xxx

 

[DueSeptember]

Hayley, I'm just now logging in and seen you had a bit of a scare over the weekend.... I am sooo glad you are going in tomorrow for a scan, even if it's just to rest your mind I've always heard brown blood is old blood BUT I know how our mind works... blood is blood .. I am more than sure when you go for your scan your lil one will be just fine hon

Nikki ... Good grief, seems like I have been waiting forever to see how you turn out this month Haha ... I know I'm holding my breath... Have you been having any symptoms this time around?? I know I haven't, at all! So guess well see if my AF makes it ugle presence anytime from now thru Dec 1... If not here Dec 1, then I'm preg.. So, well see... I still haven't tested.. Think this month I'm too scared BUT man I really wanna! Trying to hold out

How is everyone else doing?? I have now glad for the Thanksgiving weekend to being over with, WHEW... I'm exhausted... Had a house full pretty much all weekend, guess that was a good thing, it kept my mind totally off the normal obsessing.. "How many DPO am I?" .. You know, those typical morning thoughts .. LOL

Also I've been busy with OH.. He's surprised me by deciding and planning a vacation for us and all the kids...! Gonna finally get to sneak away for a week , well be leaving the day after Christmas!! Countdown to the beach has began!

WooHoo what Beach lol

 

[collie_crazy]

Scan in one hour! So scared I've hardly slept all night On the other hand OH is still sound asleep and snoring!!

 

[MummyStobe]

Good luck Amanda will be thinking about you. Let us know how you get on.
I've got to get through the day before my scan, going to be worrying like mad as I had more brown bleeding first thing this morning. I'm preparing myself for it to be bad news.

 

[mhazzab]

Good luck Amanda will be thinking about you. Let us know how you get on.
I've got to get through the day before my scan, going to be worrying like mad as I had more brown bleeding first thing this morning. I'm preparing myself for it to be bad news.

I'll have everything crossed for good news from you both today. Sorry you have had more bleeding Hayley, at least you will be in the right place today and hopefully they can put your mind at ease.
Love to you both xxx

 

[Hellylou]

Keeping everything crossed for you both today xxx

 

[Andypanda6570]

Hope the scans go well..Love You All..XOXOXO

 

[mhazzab]

Well girls as I've said I'm 6dpo and the symptom spotting has started. I have a question or you girls that chart. This cycle I have been setting my alarm for 6 am to take my temps but a few mornings I have woken up about 4 and gone back to sleep. I usually take my temp at 4 but then take it at 6 again even though I haven't had the proper amount of sleep. Should I use the earlier one and adjust it?? I don't really know what to do.

I was having that problem when I was charting this time around, I think it was because I wasn't working and wasn't really sleeping well because I was so sad, I kept waking up at random times. I was using the earlier temp, and adjusting if necessary. I found that if I took the later one without enough sleep, it would usually spike high?

But, I did kind of set myself a limit, usually my temps were taken 6-7, If I woke up any time after 4.45 ish I would say ok, I will take that temp, but, if it was much earlier, I would just take a second when I woke up, if that makes any sense!!!
I think the idea of it is, that you look for a general pattern in your numbers, rather than analysing every single reading. However, when in the 2WW I found I was over-analysing every single dip and rise, lol.
hope this didn't confuse too much!
x

 

[Ellie10]

Hi ladies, I hope you don't mind me joining you. I lost my daughter Ellie at 19 weeks on 10th Aug 2011 and although it does get easier, it's never really far from your mind, is it? I have had a couple of IUI's (BFN) this year and one early m/c at 5wks and a chemical preg in June and we are trying naturally for now with the Clearblue Fertility Monitor until we manage to scrabble together enough money for our next IVF (our 3rd). Before losing Ellie I also had 2 early m/c so in total 4 losses and a chemical. Still not giving up though! The things we put ourselves through...

I have joined ttc after m/c groups but a second tri loss is just so different to a 1st tri loss, especially physically so I've been looking for ladies who have been through this experience. I hope that doesn't sound patronising to anyone who has an early loss, I certainly don't mean it that way; have been there myself and I know how much it hurts, but giving birth to a baby who dies shortly after the birth (Ellie lived for 21 mins) brings a whole different set of physical issues and emotions to have to deal with, doesn't it?

Sorry I'm rambling on. Hope you are all well and hope to get to know you all better soon.

x

 

[KamIAm]

Hi ladies, I hope you don't mind me joining you. I lost my daughter Ellie at 19 weeks on 10th Aug 2011 and although it does get easier, it's never really far from your mind, is it? I have had a couple of IUI's (BFN) this year and one early m/c at 5wks and a chemical preg in June and we are trying naturally for now with the Clearblue Fertility Monitor until we manage to scrabble together enough money for our next IVF (our 3rd). Before losing Ellie I also had 2 early m/c so in total 4 losses and a chemical. Still not giving up though! The things we put ourselves through...

I have joined ttc after m/c groups but a second tri loss is just so different to a 1st tri loss, especially physically so I've been looking for ladies who have been through this experience. I hope that doesn't sound patronising to anyone who has an early loss, I certainly don't mean it that way; have been there myself and I know how much it hurts, but giving birth to a baby who dies shortly after the birth (Ellie lived for 21 mins) brings a whole different set of physical issues and emotions to have to deal with, doesn't it?

Sorry I'm rambling on. Hope you are all well and hope to get to know you all better soon.

x

Welcome!!!

I am terribly sorry for the loss of your lil Ellie... I also gave birth to my daughter Emma at 19 weeks, this past March, sooo 8 long months ago ... Wow, your lil one survived for 21 mins!! Oh My GOSH! That is amazing! She was a lil trooper, sounds a lot like her momma

You are more than welcome here and I hope you find as much love and support as I do...

Hate that someone else HAD to be thrown into this nightmare but I'm glad you found your way here ...

A new lil one in the gang .. Sending tons of loves and cuddles to Ellie

 

[Andypanda6570]

Hi ladies, I hope you don't mind me joining you. I lost my daughter Ellie at 19 weeks on 10th Aug 2011 and although it does get easier, it's never really far from your mind, is it? I have had a couple of IUI's (BFN) this year and one early m/c at 5wks and a chemical preg in June and we are trying naturally for now with the Clearblue Fertility Monitor until we manage to scrabble together enough money for our next IVF (our 3rd). Before losing Ellie I also had 2 early m/c so in total 4 losses and a chemical. Still not giving up though! The things we put ourselves through...

I have joined ttc after m/c groups but a second tri loss is just so different to a 1st tri loss, especially physically so I've been looking for ladies who have been through this experience. I hope that doesn't sound patronising to anyone who has an early loss, I certainly don't mean it that way; have been there myself and I know how much it hurts, but giving birth to a baby who dies shortly after the birth (Ellie lived for 21 mins) brings a whole different set of physical issues and emotions to have to deal with, doesn't it?

Sorry I'm rambling on. Hope you are all well and hope to get to know you all better soon.

x

I am so deeply sorry for your loss of Ellie . I am so glad you are here joining us. My name is Andrea and the women here are amazing I lost my Ava at 20 weeks, i gave birth to her in my home and we buried her on 3/11/2011 . Just now 9 months later am I getting the courage and the strength to try again..
XOXOXOXO

 

[KamIAm]

Oooo! Girls! I can NOT wait to hear ALL the GOOD news from your scans today!!!! Yay, you get to see lil one!!

Nikki ..... babe, I am sorry ... I hate that for you!!! Stupid witch I am right along with ya... I am 12 dpo and I broke down and tested this morning and got a BLAH .... I have been feeling kind of grouchy, and I too have been craving chocolate all day yesterday ... SO, Think she' s on her way for me as well ..... We're definately taking a break... I can't believe we've only been at this ttc stuff for 2 months , I don't see how others last longer... I'm beat.... Lots of additional ups and downs, like we don't have enough as it is huh ... So, I guess my OH decsion to take a break makes more sense to me (at the moment) .. Like Nikki said, once I get closer to O time, I might jump back to obsessing again, who knows... But I'm just trying to keep breathing and keep my head up and being very thankful with what all I am blessed with... Yea, all that crap ...LOL

Hope all is well!! All the rest of you sticky egg chasers, keep us posted... You know I obsess over y'alls progress as well hahahaha

How are all our Rainbows doing?? Momma's feeling OK?? Rub the bump for me cuz I'm sending y'all some love!!

Here in my lil slice of the world, we are expecting to see our first snow flurries ... I usually don't like snow, but for some reason, today I am .... I'm like a kid... Nose pressed up against the window watching and waiting...

Loves and cuddles to all my friends and their lil ones ...

 

[Hellylou]

Kelly, you are such a ray of sunshine, you really are. I am so glad you are here.

Just had to say that

 

[Ellie10]

Girls, thank you both so much for the lovely warm welcome! So sorry to hear about your losses, such pretty names Emma & Ava. Hopefully our girls will be playing up there somewhere together. It's a comforting thought...

It's sad that we have had to meet in such circumstances but I'm so glad I found you. I have struggled with guilt since losing Ellie because the hospital told us she would be stillborn so we decided not to see her after the birth as I thought it would just hurt too much. I was also still in shock and doped up on pethidine so hardly thinking clearly and will regret that decision for the rest of my life, because we only found out 2 days later that she had been born alive and lived for a short while. I was angry that the nurses didn't think we might have wanted to know she was alive at the time, as of course we would have changed our minds and wanted to hold her for the short time she had, but it also haunts me that she died in the next room without me or dh being with her as she passed. We received a formal apology from the hospital but that won't bring those precious minutes back. But, as you will agree, you have to try to find a way forward and here we are, back on the ttc nightmare!

I am currently on 7 dpo and a bit flummoxed because I started pink spotting earlier. Eek. This is my first month trying Agnus Castus and I'm thinking that if the bloody stuff has somehow shortened my LP instead of lengthening it I will kick myself around the house for dabbling in something I know nothing about! Would love to convince myself it's IB as I've had some slight cramps too, but in 5 pregnancies I've never had IB so I'm thinking it's unlikely and probably just the AC messing my cycle up. Every month my body loves to throw something new into the mix to keep me on my toes, it's so frustrating!

Where are you girls in your journey right now?

Hugs xxx

 

[Hellylou]

Hi Ellie's mum...so sorry for your loss. How awful for you to have missed those precious minutes. It's such a traumatic experience, I think there are things we all wish we had done, but I think we all understand that at that time, in that dreadful situation, we are just doing what we can to get through it.

I'm Helen, by the way, and I'm not exactly TTC yet. I am actually waiting to try in the new year after losing my little boy Thomas in September at 16 weeks, but I come in this thread just to wish everyone well and see how they are all doing on this rollercoaster ride. Here if you need to talk

 

[mhazzab]

Hi ladies, I hope you don't mind me joining you. I lost my daughter Ellie at 19 weeks on 10th Aug 2011 and although it does get easier, it's never really far from your mind, is it? I have had a couple of IUI's (BFN) this year and one early m/c at 5wks and a chemical preg in June and we are trying naturally for now with the Clearblue Fertility Monitor until we manage to scrabble together enough money for our next IVF (our 3rd). Before losing Ellie I also had 2 early m/c so in total 4 losses and a chemical. Still not giving up though! The things we put ourselves through...

I have joined ttc after m/c groups but a second tri loss is just so different to a 1st tri loss, especially physically so I've been looking for ladies who have been through this experience. I hope that doesn't sound patronising to anyone who has an early loss, I certainly don't mean it that way; have been there myself and I know how much it hurts, but giving birth to a baby who dies shortly after the birth (Ellie lived for 21 mins) brings a whole different set of physical issues and emotions to have to deal with, doesn't it?

Sorry I'm rambling on. Hope you are all well and hope to get to know you all better soon.

x

Hiya...welcome, sorry you had to find your way here, but, we'll look after you

I'm so sorry for your losses, you've had a hard time of it, but I'm glad you have found the strength to try for a little brother or sister for Ellie and your other angels.

I know what you mean about the second tri loss...it is very difficult to go through the birthing experience knowing that your child won't live, you get to meet them and have to say goodbye all at once, it's awful. I gave birth to twins in June, Eve died during birth, and Megan lived for 10 minutes.

This thread, and also this forum, is so supportive, I don't know where I would have been if I hadn't found this place. We are here for you, whatever you need or if you want to talk about anything.

good luck with TTC

xx

 

[mhazzab]

It's sad that we have had to meet in such circumstances but I'm so glad I found you. I have struggled with guilt since losing Ellie because the hospital told us she would be stillborn so we decided not to see her after the birth as I thought it would just hurt too much. I was also still in shock and doped up on pethidine so hardly thinking clearly and will regret that decision for the rest of my life, because we only found out 2 days later that she had been born alive and lived for a short while. I was angry that the nurses didn't think we might have wanted to know she was alive at the time, as of course we would have changed our minds and wanted to hold her for the short time she had, but it also haunts me that she died in the next room without me or dh being with her as she passed. We received a formal apology from the hospital but that won't bring those precious minutes back. But, as you will agree, you have to try to find a way forward and here we are, back on the ttc nightmare!

please don't feel guilty for this...a similar thing happened to me. We were just short of 24 weeks, so the doctors asked us if we wanted them to try to save our daughters, we said yes, to be honest, knowing what I know now, I probably wouldn't make the same decision again, but, we do the best we can at the time. As I said in my earlier post, Eve died during labour, but Megan was born breathing, she spent the 10 minutes that she lived being worked on by doctors...I wish I had just held her, and comforted her. After she died, the nurse brought them both over to me, and I asked her to take them away, I was off my face on the drugs and so upset, I couldn't bear to see them. I'll always regret that. but, as you say, we have to find a way forward.

xx