Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[Ellie10]

Hi Helen, thanks for the welcome and sorry to hear about your loss. It must still be so very raw for you. It does take time before you feel ready to jump back on the ttc bandwagon again, I almost felt disloyal at first but now, if I'm honest it's the only thing keeping me going! Which is ironic because it also drives me insane! You can now just have a lovely xmas and indulge in all the wine you want to before you start again in January x

Mhazzab - how awful for you to lose two precious babies at once. One is traumatic enough. God knows how you got through that. It must have been a nightmare watching doctors trying to save Megan but really what choice did you have? If you had said no, don't try to save her then you would probably be always wondering 'what if' and that might have been even worse. I found myself totally out of my depth at the birth, hadn't a clue what to do or think and it's so easy to have regrets with hindsight. I'm sure we all have them. I'm also sure Eve and Megan know just how loved they were and still are.

hugs to you both xx

 

[KamIAm]

Oh yea, this is a ttc thread isn't it ...

I think we have just turned it into a free for all... Just come and chat about EVERYTHING LOL ... Such great company in here, why not

We ALL live with regrets from those fateful days... I'm sure each and everyone of us do SO that is where the rest of us come in.... We all lift each other up, just listen, send loves, and wonderful encouraging words .... This is the place where, yes, we HAVE been there... No judgement, always comfort ..

I honestly don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for all the wonderful friends I've made on this site.... I'd be COO COO COO COO haha

Wow, to think of some of you girls lil ones was born and stayed for a short time... Precious What lil troopers .... I am in Awe of their strength as well as their mom's ...

Ugh, I already forgotten your username (sorry) but Ellie's mom... We all are in different phases of ttc... Some here aren't ttc yet, some are ttc NOWWWW, and others are carrying precious cargo... RAINBOWS!! ... Me and my OH decided to ttc so this was our 2nd month, but think now, if I don't get a positive test in the next few days, we are gonna wait a bit... I'm 12 dpo , peed on a stick this morning and got a NOPE Sooo, thinking I'm probably out this month...

Can't wait to hear who gets the BFP this month!!!! I'm excited!!!

 

[Ellie10]

Kam, I got stark-white BFN's with my first preg at 15 dpo (not even a crappy evap to obsess over!) and then BFP next day when I was two days late, so you just never know. Hang in there!
x

 

[mhazzab]

thanks for your kind words Ellie's mum...I'm Mhairi , by the way !

Kelly, as you are always asking for rainbow updates...my little monkey is causing lots of trouble...I've been so nauseous and tired and very emotional.

And, this is going to sound crayzeeeeee! but, I swear I felt him move yesterday. I know it's early, but, it's a feeling you just know when you have felt it before. It made me so happy...I don't care who says its too early, I've decided it was him just telling me he's ok. (I've decided it's a boy by the way as I've been feeling so ill, worse than with the twins. No doubt I am probably wrong again, I guessed boys last time.)

20 days till my 12 weeks scan....not that I am counting

I hope we get some more BFP news soon, and some good news from today's scans

 

[dnlfinker]

I am deeply sorry about your little girl Ellie .Everbody here is so friendly and loving, I hope that you can find a strength in you to stay and we will support you in every way that we can! I am sending you lots of


Kelly, I too tested this morning and got a BFN so I am def out this month. The only think I am not sure is why I am on Cycle day 33 and the ugly red head has not stuck her head out! My ovulation monitor has officially went kuku, it was asking me for a stick and says Cycle day 15 ( Tick tak tick tak bum bum ku ku). I am starting to think that maybe because when bathed it(lol) and it showed that I ovulated , I really didnt and got everything wrong this month.

I have OBGYN appt today but I dont feel like even going. Its a new one that Andrea has told me about, but I dont think she will tell me something new. Somebody on this forum mentioned before that they generally just dont check blood , but for me its the only way to know what is going on.

Sorry for the long post

Natalie

 

[kiki04]

Well I am about to ovulate, as in expecting my +OPK tomorrow but because of these meds I am on... I cant risk it this month

 

[MummyStobe]

after building myself up for bad news we've got a healthly little heartbeat

She could only find it with an internal scan but don't think my tilted uterus helped.

We're measuring 6 weeks and 3 days and I got a picture without even asking for it and they're going to scan me again in 2 weeks time.

Feeling so relieved right now.

Will reply to all today's goings on when I get home, just off to share the news with the in-laws xx

 

[mhazzab]

after building myself up for bad news we've got a healthly little heartbeat

She could only find it with an internal scan but don't think my tilted uterus helped.

We're measuring 6 weeks and 3 days and I got a picture without even asking for it and they're going to scan me again in 2 weeks time.

Feeling so relieved right now.

Will reply to all today's goings on when I get home, just off to share the news with the in-laws xx

Wow Hayley that's fantastic! Yay for the photo too! I also had to have an internal, I was completely panicking when they didn't find anything by belly first.
And another scan in two weeks, that's great. Did they say anything about the blood?
Hugs xx

 

[kiki04]

OMG Hayley!! I'm so happy for you!!!

 

[dnlfinker]

THank God Hayley, there is no better news then great news!

 

[Andypanda6570]

after building myself up for bad news we've got a healthly little heartbeat

She could only find it with an internal scan but don't think my tilted uterus helped.

We're measuring 6 weeks and 3 days and I got a picture without even asking for it and they're going to scan me again in 2 weeks time.

Feeling so relieved right now.

Will reply to all today's goings on when I get home, just off to share the news with the in-laws xx

I am SOOOOoooooooooooooooooo happy to read this... Congrats

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am deeply sorry about your little girl Ellie .Everbody here is so friendly and loving, I hope that you can find a strength in you to stay and we will support you in every way that we can! I am sending you lots of


Kelly, I too tested this morning and got a BFN so I am def out this month. The only think I am not sure is why I am on Cycle day 33 and the ugly red head has not stuck her head out! My ovulation monitor has officially went kuku, it was asking me for a stick and says Cycle day 15 ( Tick tak tick tak bum bum ku ku). I am starting to think that maybe because when bathed it(lol) and it showed that I ovulated , I really didnt and got everything wrong this month.

I have OBGYN appt today but I dont feel like even going. Its a new one that Andrea has told me about, but I dont think she will tell me something new. Somebody on this forum mentioned before that they generally just dont check blood , but for me its the only way to know what is going on.

Sorry for the long post

Natalie

Nat,
Please go try this doctor and see what happens, is it Dr Roth or Herzog or Coch? They are both excellent .I just want you to be ok my sweet friend

 

[Hellylou]

So relieved to hear this, Hayley! I was thinking of you today xxxx

 

[OliveBay]

Wow this has been a busy thread today! I've been a bit quiet on here the last few days as I've not had much to say (still just waiting for to pack her bags and leave), but am just popping in to make sure you don't think I've disappeared!

I just wanted to say hi to Ellie10. So sorry to hear your story. I lost my little boy at 22 weeks just over 2 months ago. I'm now hovering here in anticipation of TTC in the next couple of weeks.

Also, lovely to hear your scan went well Hayley - its so nice to hear good news

 

[Ellie10]

Hayley, obviously I am new to the group but just wanted to say congratulations on seeing your little heartbeat today - such a wonderful thing when you have been through a loss. Also, our lost babies share a birthday on 10th August, sad coincidence but I am always so happy to hear of rainbow babies for people like us. Wishing you the healthiest and happiest pregnancy! xxx

Olive, thank you and so sorry you lost your special little man such a short time ago. I'm very impressed that you feel strong enough to start trying for that rainbow so soon. It's a massive step forward but also a difficult one. My initial reaction (before I'd even left hospital) was that I needed to be pregnant again straight away but unfortunately due to lack of aftercare I wasn't able to try again as quickly as I wanted to. I do think ttc does help to distract you from the pain though, as well as giving you a focus for the future, and that can only be a good thing. Fingers crossed for a good, strong eggy in the next few weeks! xxx

 

[Nikki_d72]

after building myself up for bad news we've got a healthly little heartbeat

She could only find it with an internal scan but don't think my tilted uterus helped.

We're measuring 6 weeks and 3 days and I got a picture without even asking for it and they're going to scan me again in 2 weeks time.

Feeling so relieved right now.

Will reply to all today's goings on when I get home, just off to share the news with the in-laws xx

Yay! So, so happy to hear this Hayley! Good you got a picture too.

Welcome, Ellies mum. I'm sorry you have to join us here though but I hope we can all support you on your journey. I'm so sorry for the loss of wee Ellie, what a lovely name, thanks for sharing her with us.

I lost my twin boys on 31st July this year after the waters breaking on the first twin 6 days prior. We all have regrets, no matter what you had done you would still find something so please try not to focus on it. Easier said than done I know.

My first twin, Ethan, passed in labour but my second boy, Hayden was born in the caul and though I asked if he was alive the Ob said she didn't think so, so we let her take the first twin back to wrap his brother with him and they took ages to pass them back. Since then DH has admitted that he was pretty sure he could see a HB and I saw movement but didn't tell him as I didn't want to upset him more (which I now think was him giving up his fight). So my biggest regret is that I didn't put him skin to skin on me and stop wailing in his ear, the poor wee love and let him go in peace, but I'd been led to believe he'd already passed. like I say we all have regrets, that's mine. That and the fact that I denied to myself I was in labour because I didn't want to let them go so probably caused more suffering for them.

I hope you can find peace, Ellie will know how loved she was and is no matter what.

xxx

 

[Nikki_d72]

Kelly, you're not out till she shows, really hoping for you hun xx

Hope everyone else is well, will check back later and chat properly...

 

[ericacaca]

Hi there again ladies. Really sorry I've not been around lately. Things have been madness! I hope all is ok with you all.

Amanda - did you have your scan today? How did it go?

We have our scan tomorrow. And I'm terrified. I know I shouldnt be, I still have the sickness and sore boobs symptoms so hormones must still be on overdrive. But I can't help but remember the last time we had an ultrasound and we saw our first baby girl not alive anymore! I get emotional right now even thinking about walking into the sonographer's room tomorrow afternoon! Argh! Sorry girls - I know I should be enjoying this pregnancy and happy that I am pregnant again. And I am so happy. But its just so stressful at times - losing Baby has just made all the sparkle about having this little one in me not be as sparkley and I hate it!

I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow

Erica xxx

 

[ericacaca]

Aw and on a really happy note Lily Allen has had a baby! After 2 miscarriages... one at 6 months she has her rainbow baby now! Really happy for her!

 

[yazoo]

Thanks for your reply Mhairi re charting. I'm the the 2ww now and I haven't had a dip and I'm think ok not pregnant. lol. Its crazy.

Welcome Ellie's Mom- I'm so sorry about the loss of your precious baby girl and for your other losses. You are such a strong brave woman for not giving up. Fair play to you. It will happen for you. Ellie was a strong little girl living for that long. Wow. Please don't feel guilty about choosing now to see Ellie, The staff really should have told you that she was born alive though. I lost my little boy at 22 weeks the day after Ellie was born. My name is tanya by the way.

Oh Nikki I hate that the witch got you. Massive hugs hun.

Hey Kelly- wooo for snow. I am 8dpo- no symptoms really. Few wee twinges here and there but I get that every month. I'm not holding out much hope to be honest. We really have turned this thread into a free for all but there really isn't anywhere else we can talk which is a shame because other angel Mommies who aren't ttc or pregnant may feel that they can't join us here.

Mhairi- I really hate when people say "it couldn't be baby moving" when you absolutely know yourself the feeling. Who is to say when people feel their little babies flipping around for the first time. Everyone is different. I'm so happy you felt it. Its such an amazing feeling. I felt Jakob very early on too and from 15 weeks I could feel the movement getting stronger. The downside of that was when I didn't feel him for a day or so I was panicking like hell.

Nat I'm sorry about your BFN. I hope you get some answers from an OB/GYN. I have been doing alot of research and I think it is awful that women are not screened for blooding clotting disorders, thyroid problems etc before they get pregnant. The cost of the test for APS ( the syndrome that I am being treated for) is minimal. If I had have been tested and so many other women we could have been treated for it and saved the trauma and grief of loosing our babies.

Woohoooo Hayley, I am so happy for you hun. That is fabulous news. It has made my day.

Hi Olive. I hope this month is good to you.

Hi Erica- goodluck with the scan. I have everything crossed for you but I know it will be fine. Don't be sorry. It is so normal for you to be nervous. Oh i didn't know Lily Allen had her baby that is so good. It gives me hope.

I've nothing really to report girls. 8dpo but no symptoms or anything so we'll see. Having a bad time at the moment but I will get through it. XXX