Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[Hellylou]

Ah Hayley I just welled up with tears reading that. You did the best you could. I'm kind of comforted in many ways by how many of the mums on here weren't able to look at their little ones straight away, only later. I felt like I was the only one who felt that way at the time. I just couldn't bear it. I didn't even want to know straight away if Thomas was a boy or a girl. I was just living in a nightmare, and everything had gone wrong. The idea of them handing him to me saying it's a boy or it's a girl...I think I would have come apart at the seams. It actually took me two days to find the courage to see him.

 

[dnlfinker]

So yesterday was the appt with the new OB and I think she is good!. I would not be able to go to the old one because it would bring a bad feelings and I dont want to go that way.As i was sitting in the office waiting
to be called, I had tears rolling from my eyes, looking at other preg women and I guess the whole idea of ogyn office got to me.
Anyways , I didnt received much of new information except of confirmation of BFN and that my sugar was ok. THe doctor mentioned that there is possability that Gastational
Diabetes could have played a roll in the loss of a little one.

I am still confused as to why I am on cycle day 34 with no AF and BFN. I wish the witch
would come already and stop driving me crazy . I get it already , I am out this month!

 

[mhazzab]

Hi ladies!

I thought i might come an join you all on this thread, we're not TTC at the mo but WTT as i'm still waiting for AF to turn up, but fingers crossed i think i've been having period pains all day today!

Also not sure if i'm quite mentally ready to try again just yet but it would be nice to talk to others about trying, as i think i freak my friends out a bit now if i ever mention it (none of them have kids)

Congrats to everyone who's got a rainbow baby in the making!

oh btw my name is christine! xxx

Hi Christine! Can't remember if I introduced myself aready, I'm Mhairi. So glad you have joined us in here. I didn't speak to any of my friends about TTC again - I didn't think they would understand, plus, I didn't want anyone elses opinons! We're here for you, whatever you need x

Hi Ellie's mum. I noticed as soon as I saw your first post that our angels share a birthday. Max was also 19+5weeks so a very similar gestation age too. Does that mean that your due date was also around New Year? Mine was NYE. I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know whether Max was born alive or not, the hospital hadn't actually picked up on the fact that I was in labour so it was a very big shock when I started to deliver him in the bathroom. Although we spent some time with him later on in the day, I couldn't bring myself to look at him at the time. Not finding out is something I regret and I have to live with that but we all made the decisions we thought were right at the time. We decided to have the words "born asleep" put on his headstone. I actually get more comfort from thinking that he passed before he was born than I do from thinking that he died in a cardboard bed pan. I've just really upset myself typing that I've never actually shared that bit of information on here before now. I'm ashamed that is how he was born but if I hadn't reacted and grabbed it at the time he would have been born in the toilet bowl and I can't even bring myself to think about that possibility I'm so sorry little my angel
What I was going to go on and say before I got distracted was that Ellie was a little fighter to hang on in this big bad world for so long. You must be so proud of her.
Once again I'm so so sorry for your loss. I'm sure Ellie and Max are playing with all the other angels. Fly high little ones
Thank you for your congratulations on our rainbow. I wish you all the luck with your ttc journey. Sending lots of your way and to everyone else currently trying.
I love you all so much xx

Oh Hayley I'm so sorry, try not to have any regrets about what happened that day...we were all taken by surprise and did the best we could. I couldn't bear to see my girls at first either, I asked the nurse to take them away, and I didn't hold them - I feel so guilty for that, but, I can't change it now.

I love you all too, I never knew it was possible to become such good friends with people you have never met! Not sure what I would do without you all! x

So yesterday was the appt with the new OB and I think she is good!. I would not be able to go to the old one because it would bring a bad feelings and I dont want to go that way.As i was sitting in the office waiting
to be called, I had tears rolling from my eyes, looking at other preg women and I guess the whole idea of ogyn office got to me.
Anyways , I didnt received much of new information except of confirmation of BFN and that my sugar was ok. THe doctor mentioned that there is possability that Gastational
Diabetes could have played a roll in the loss of a little one.

I am still confused as to why I am on cycle day 34 with no AF and BFN. I wish the witch
would come already and stop driving me crazy . I get it already , I am out this month!

I'm glad you got to see a new doctor, urgh, its horrible waiting there and seeing the pregnant women, isn't it? Happened to me a few times too, actually it still upsets me for some reason, even though I am pregnant myself.

Sorry for your BFN, I hope AF comes soon so you can get going again

Kelly - Got my fingers crossed for you!,

Nikki, sorry you got your AF.

Hi to everyone else, sorry if I missed anyone! :wave:

 

[Nikki_d72]

Hayley, I think it's amazing that you had the presence of mind to be able to grab anything hon, you did so well. I also don't understand why I didn't just sit up as soon as Hayden was born and take him, I'd have thought instinct would have made me, but I couldn't bare it either, I just lay there wailing. There was no normality for any of us.

Jojo, so sorry you had a scare, I'm so glad you had a good scan.

Amanda, glad yours went well too hon, I'm sorry you're still so sick - watch you don't get dehydrated, will you. I remember when DD was really ill when she was 5 she was throwing everything up for days with a temperature and we had to take her to out of hours care as we were worried - anyway, they showed us how to tell if they are dehydrated - you pinch the skin on the back of the hand and if it springs straight back down it's fine, but if it stays in a point for ages then the person is dehydrated. It would obviously take longer to ping back on any of our hands than a 5yo girl but it's an easy way for you to keep an eye on yourself. If you keep sipping small amounts a lot of it will be absorbed before you chuck it up. You poor thing, hope it eases a wee bit soon.

Kelly, EVERYTHING crossed for you hon, any sign yet?

Sorry for the BFN Nat.

Tanya, how are you today, hon? Thinking of you.


Mhairi - you know what you're feeling hon. It's pretty unmistakable. Glad your wee bean is making him or herself known!

Andrea, how you doing? Did you manage to give it a go this month?

Welcome again Christine.

I know I'm missing lots but my head is mush today, so sorry!

Hope those of you waiting for AF to pack her bags don't have long to wait.

I finally planted some veggie seeds yesterday, far too late really - I'll be lucky to have some by Easter, haha! Never mind, it's my first foray, everything will be set for winter veggies hopefully. I sat doing it in the sun though and didn't realise how strong it was and I have a ripping headache today now, oops. Good ol NZ with no ozone layer, I forget. Anyway, how OT is that?! Ha, we really have turned this into a free-for-all but I'm loving it!

Hope you are all well,

Nikki xxx

 

[ericacaca]

Hi ladies. Scan went well! Baby is fine, we saw it's little heart beat and they even gave us a coupld of bounces for us I was kinda emotional though beforehand - but all was ok. Still early days though. Want to get excited, but just can't! Argh! xxx

 

[Nikki_d72]

Haha, you all type way quicker than me!

Nat, glad your appt went well but sorry you had to sit there feeling sad. Could it be that you didn't Ov this month? I've heard of that delaying AF.

Christine - I don't talk about TTC to anyone else either really. I don't want to explain myself to folk that don't understand and I don't want to be getting asked "anything yet?" all the time and depressing me when i can't say yes. Also I may want to keep any future pregnancy to myself for a lot longer next time (if I get a next time) so don't want to be getting asked. A couple of friends that have also suffered a loss know we were trying but they understand and are not the type to keep asking or hassling us.

xx

ETA: Erica, you beat me to it as well! ha! so glad it went well!

 

[KamIAm]

Shhh! Girls.... I am sitting in class RIGHT NOW ... couldnt' wait to tell y'all I just about had a massive heartattack LOL!!!

As I'm sitting here, I feel icky, a lil more wetter TMI TMI TMI!!! .. than usual, like a just started my AF... I got up, ran to the bathroom , KNOWING I did.... I haven't YET! I am a day 28 girl.... I am NEVER late ... I have made it half way thru day 28 and no sign yet.... UGH ... Think Im gonna puke.... I am REALLY trying not to get hopeful, or too excited cuz I am sure the bottom is just gonna fall out again, BUT couldn't help myself, had to run to my friends!!!!

Still hanging in there...... To Be Continued.... I'll be back after class when I can type more appropriately

FX'd!!!!

 

[mhazzab]

I finally planted some veggie seeds yesterday, far too late really - I'll be lucky to have some by Easter, haha! Never mind, it's my first foray, everything will be set for winter veggies hopefully. I sat doing it in the sun though and didn't realise how strong it was and I have a ripping headache today now, oops. Good ol NZ with no ozone layer, I forget. Anyway, how OT is that?! Ha, we really have turned this into a free-for-all but I'm loving it!

Hope you are all well,

Nikki xxx

oohh Nikki, I like my gardening too, my home grown carrots made a delicious soup last year I suppose the NZ climate is a little different to Scotland though, must take a bit of getting used to!

Hi ladies. Scan went well! Baby is fine, we saw it's little heart beat and they even gave us a coupld of bounces for us I was kinda emotional though beforehand - but all was ok. Still early days though. Want to get excited, but just can't! Argh! xxx

wow Erica, that's fantastic news, glad baby did some spins for you too! I understand you are finding it hard to get excited though, I think that's just the way of it for us now, unfortunately.

Shhh! Girls.... I am sitting in class RIGHT NOW ... couldnt' wait to tell y'all I just about had a massive heartattack LOL!!!

As I'm sitting here, I feel icky, a lil more wetter TMI TMI TMI!!! .. than usual, like a just started my AF... I got up, ran to the bathroom , KNOWING I did.... I haven't YET! I am a day 28 girl.... I am NEVER late ... I have made it half way thru day 28 and no sign yet.... UGH ... Think Im gonna puke.... I am REALLY trying not to get hopeful, or too excited cuz I am sure the bottom is just gonna fall out again, BUT couldn't help myself, had to run to my friends!!!!

Still hanging in there...... To Be Continued.... I'll be back after class when I can type more appropriately

FX'd!!!!

Kelly....I am trying to stay calm here....but secretly, I am super excited for you.....please keep us updated!

xxx

 

[Nikki_d72]

Woop-woop Kelly, Hope I'm not building this up too much but I'm soooo excited for you right now hon! Oh I so hope this is it for you. When you gonna ?

 

[KamIAm]

My professor is getting slightly irritated at me I'm sure.... ...Don't care ...

IF for some reason I haven't started today, then I guess I MIGHT poas tomorrow moring, MAYBE .. If not then, Definately Friday ... I am scared to death ... I am really really really really really trying to stay even keel, calm, not jumping off the deep end..... Arghhh..... Coo coo coo coo.....

I don't wanna do ANYTHING and I have so much to do tonight, lots of running errands tonight with the kids ... Guess that is a good thing, keep my mind off of things (try to)....

FX'd!!!!




Ok, Ok, I am much more calmer .... Gotta protect myself for the major let down.....

I'll keep you friends posted!!!

 

[MummyStobe]

Kelly I'm trying to stay calm but I'm so excited. I think I need to know as much as you do (if that's possible). I've got everything crossed for good news for you. Pleased keep us posted - like I need to ask!!

Erica - really pleased your scan went well. I completely understand that you can't get excited. I don't think any of us will be happy or be able to relax until our rainbows are safe in our arms. I feel like every day I wake up still pregnant is a mini milestone. One day at a time is the way forward.

Natalie - I'm pleased that you have found a new doctor. I reall hope she can help you get your rainbow. Sorry you got a bfn. I hope the witch shows up sooner rather than later so you can move on to the next round of trying.

Helen/Mhairi/Nikki - it took all my courage to ask if I'd had a boy or a girl. I'm not sure why I was scared of finding out. I think we all did what was right for us at the time and it's unfair that we have to go through life with regrets and guilt about what we did or didn't do. We coped the best way we knew how to and we shouldn't beat ourselves up for the choices we made. Our angels will all understand and they know they are loved very very much.

xx

 

[kiki04]

My professor is getting slightly irritated at me I'm sure.... ...Don't care ...

IF for some reason I haven't started today, then I guess I MIGHT poas tomorrow moring, MAYBE .. If not then, Definately Friday ... I am scared to death ... I am really really really really really trying to stay even keel, calm, not jumping off the deep end..... Arghhh..... Coo coo coo coo.....

I don't wanna do ANYTHING and I have so much to do tonight, lots of running errands tonight with the kids ... Guess that is a good thing, keep my mind off of things (try to)....

FX'd!!!!




Ok, Ok, I am much more calmer .... Gotta protect myself for the major let down.....

I'll keep you friends posted!!!

Girlfriend you are testing tomorrow wether you want to or not!

 

[blav]

My professor is getting slightly irritated at me I'm sure.... ...Don't care ...

IF for some reason I haven't started today, then I guess I MIGHT poas tomorrow moring, MAYBE .. If not then, Definately Friday ... I am scared to death ... I am really really really really really trying to stay even keel, calm, not jumping off the deep end..... Arghhh..... Coo coo coo coo.....

I don't wanna do ANYTHING and I have so much to do tonight, lots of running errands tonight with the kids ... Guess that is a good thing, keep my mind off of things (try to)....

FX'd!!!!




Ok, Ok, I am much more calmer .... Gotta protect myself for the major let down.....

I'll keep you friends posted!!!

So, so, so very excited for you! Keeping my fingers and toes crossed!!!

Your professor can kick rocks!!!

 

[Andypanda6570]

Hayley, I think it's amazing that you had the presence of mind to be able to grab anything hon, you did so well. I also don't understand why I didn't just sit up as soon as Hayden was born and take him, I'd have thought instinct would have made me, but I couldn't bare it either, I just lay there wailing. There was no normality for any of us.

Jojo, so sorry you had a scare, I'm so glad you had a good scan.

Amanda, glad yours went well too hon, I'm sorry you're still so sick - watch you don't get dehydrated, will you. I remember when DD was really ill when she was 5 she was throwing everything up for days with a temperature and we had to take her to out of hours care as we were worried - anyway, they showed us how to tell if they are dehydrated - you pinch the skin on the back of the hand and if it springs straight back down it's fine, but if it stays in a point for ages then the person is dehydrated. It would obviously take longer to ping back on any of our hands than a 5yo girl but it's an easy way for you to keep an eye on yourself. If you keep sipping small amounts a lot of it will be absorbed before you chuck it up. You poor thing, hope it eases a wee bit soon.

Kelly, EVERYTHING crossed for you hon, any sign yet?

Sorry for the BFN Nat.

Tanya, how are you today, hon? Thinking of you.


Mhairi - you know what you're feeling hon. It's pretty unmistakable. Glad your wee bean is making him or herself known!

Andrea, how you doing? Did you manage to give it a go this month?

Welcome again Christine.

I know I'm missing lots but my head is mush today, so sorry!

Hope those of you waiting for AF to pack her bags don't have long to wait.

I finally planted some veggie seeds yesterday, far too late really - I'll be lucky to have some by Easter, haha! Never mind, it's my first foray, everything will be set for winter veggies hopefully. I sat doing it in the sun though and didn't realise how strong it was and I have a ripping headache today now, oops. Good ol NZ with no ozone layer, I forget. Anyway, how OT is that?! Ha, we really have turned this into a free-for-all but I'm loving it!

Hope you are all well,

Nikki xxx

I didn't get it this month but we still got December..XOOXXO

My professor is getting slightly irritated at me I'm sure.... ...Don't care ...

IF for some reason I haven't started today, then I guess I MIGHT poas tomorrow moring, MAYBE .. If not then, Definately Friday ... I am scared to death ... I am really really really really really trying to stay even keel, calm, not jumping off the deep end..... Arghhh..... Coo coo coo coo.....

I don't wanna do ANYTHING and I have so much to do tonight, lots of running errands tonight with the kids ... Guess that is a good thing, keep my mind off of things (try to)....

FX'd!!!!




Ok, Ok, I am much more calmer .... Gotta protect myself for the major let down.....

I'll keep you friends posted!!!

YESssssssssssskeep us posted cause I am excited@@ XOXOOX

 

[dnlfinker]

First thing in the morning, i better see update Kelly! No but seriously i am fairly excited to hear about another BFN positive.

From reading other updates , i am thankfull that all of the scans went well. I just hope that you will start to feel better sooner!

Thank you Andrea for speaking with me this morning, it a great pleasure and more enjoyable then work!

Nikki, i am not sure if i missed ovulation because both my monitor and ovulation sticks showed that i ovulated. I dont trust my broken monitor but cant both of them wrong. My plan is to check once more Friday if no Af.

Going to stop here, enjoy your evening/morning!

 

[KamIAm]

Well girls.... It's 9:30 pm here and still no AF ... Hmmm??? Not sure what to think or feel....

I am feeling VERY gassy, crampy & irritable... All signs of either for me.... So, clueless....

I guess we'll see what tomorrow holds for me ....

FX'd and good night friends!

Thanks for all the love and cheers ...Xxx

 

[Andypanda6570]

First thing in the morning, i better see update Kelly! No but seriously i am fairly excited to hear about another BFN positive.

From reading other updates , i am thankfull that all of the scans went well. I just hope that you will start to feel better sooner!

Thank you Andrea for speaking with me this morning, it a great pleasure and more enjoyable then work!

Nikki, i am not sure if i missed ovulation because both my monitor and ovulation sticks showed that i ovulated. I dont trust my broken monitor but cant both of them wrong. My plan is to check once more Friday if no Af.

Going to stop here, enjoy your evening/morning!

Love talking to you, Natalie!!! I feel I can tell you anything and you understand , I am so grateful not only for meeting you here but for our
friendship..XOOOX

Well girls.... It's 9:30 pm here and still no AF ... Hmmm??? Not sure what to think or feel....

I am feeling VERY gassy, crampy & irritable... All signs of either for me.... So, clueless....

I guess we'll see what tomorrow holds for me ....

FX'd and good night friends!

Thanks for all the love and cheers ...Xxx

Staying positive, girlfriend. Love ya XOOXOXO Hope tomorrow brings excitement

 

[dnlfinker]

Kelly, that is suppose to say BFP, i am sorry for typo! Wishing you only the best!

 

[Andypanda6570]

Kelly, that is suppose to say BFP, i am sorry for typo! Wishing you only the best!

NAt,
If you look at the bottom of your post you will see an edit button, you can hit that and go back into your post and fix the mistake and then hit save

 

[dnlfinker]

Kelly, that is suppose to say BFP, i am sorry for typo! Wishing you only the best!

NAt,
If you look at the bottom of your post you will see an edit button, you can hit that and go back into your post and fix the mistake and then hit save

By the time i noticed, Kelly was onlne and read it