Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[ericacaca]

Hi ladies... I'm back again..... crap.... I'm spotting..... blood - not alot of it but still worried like crazy about it! If it carries on tomorrow we're going to go in to hospital! Such a stress! Argh!
xxx

 

[blav]

I have been feeling terrible too Hun, babies due date was the 18th, it does gradually start to ease though x x be kind to yourself x x

I feel like I even think about anything and I start crying. I just want to be pregnant again and althought this past month was our first really trying, for some reason I just feel really discouraged. I'm trying to not worry so much and just relax but it's so hard!

 

[Bride2b]

Britney everything you are saying I can relate to 100% Hun. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think why didn't I realise the pains I was getting wasn't normal & if I had been checked out they might have monitored the pains or contractions I was having & been able to give me something to stop it. It's all good looking back with hind sight,but the horrible reality is that at the time we obviously were not alarmed otherwise as mothers to be we would have done anything to protect our LO. Like is unfair that we have had to learn the hard way. In years to come we will remember & we may still regret but I hope the pain is taken away and it's something we learn to live with xxxx

Have you thought of smep?it seems like such a good method of making sure you are getting bd in at the right time of your cycle.is there anything that you are going to do to get your BFP or are you letting nature take its course? It's rubbish that you only have a couple more tries before you OH has surgery,do you know how long he'll be out of action for? Hopefully you will get your BFP before but I can see why you are worried. Thinking of you hun xxx

I also think clothes etc brought for the baby are painful,OH put our few bits in the loft,we only brought one little sleep suit 2 days before we lost Bertie,this was the first time I looked at baby stuff,my OH got really excited & brought it even though I still felt nervous about looking! He even talked me in to buying a stuffed toy that looks like our husky for our baby. I know doing these things didn't cause our loss but I hadn't wanted to tempt fate by buying anything. My mum brought us some bits the day after we announced we were expecting & I got really angry with her! Anyway it's all waiting in the loft for next time,but I know deep down they should all have been Berties things,just like your bits for Mateo. There are going to be so many reminders,it's just a case of finding a way to best deal with these things.

Big hugs my ttc buddy xxxxx

 

[blav]

Britney everything you are saying I can relate to 100% Hun. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think why didn't I realise the pains I was getting wasn't normal & if I had been checked out they might have monitored the pains or contractions I was having & been able to give me something to stop it. It's all good looking back with hind sight,but the horrible reality is that at the time we obviously were not alarmed otherwise as mothers to be we would have done anything to protect our LO. Like is unfair that we have had to learn the hard way. In years to come we will remember & we may still regret but I hope the pain is taken away and it's something we learn to live with xxxx

Have you thought of smep?it seems like such a good method of making sure you are getting bd in at the right time of your cycle.is there anything that you are going to do to get your BFP or are you letting nature take its course? It's rubbish that you only have a couple more tries before you OH has surgery,do you know how long he'll be out of action for? Hopefully you will get your BFP before but I can see why you are worried. Thinking of you hun xxx

I also think clothes etc brought for the baby are painful,OH put our few bits in the loft,we only brought one little sleep suit 2 days before we lost Bertie,this was the first time I looked at baby stuff,my OH got really excited & brought it even though I still felt nervous about looking! He even talked me in to buying a stuffed toy that looks like our husky for our baby. I know doing these things didn't cause our loss but I hadn't wanted to tempt fate by buying anything. My mum brought us some bits the day after we announced we were expecting & I got really angry with her! Anyway it's all waiting in the loft for next time,but I know deep down they should all have been Berties things,just like your bits for Mateo. There are going to be so many reminders,it's just a case of finding a way to best deal with these things.

Big hugs my ttc buddy xxxxx

You are so right on every level, Gemma. I'm so thankful to have lovely ladies who just understand how I feel, who don't tell me I should feel differently or where I should be in the grief process. Truly a blessing.

What is SMEP? I'll try anything at this point. I was going to do OPKs and temping again. I feel like I need to be patient to O because I seem to O a day later than the calculators say. If I don't get pregnant this month, I'm definitely buying the CBFM (woud do it this month, but too late). OH will be out for about 6 to 8 weeks. I would just really like to get a BFP this month for many reasons, but especially because Mateo's due date was February 29 and it's going to be such a difficult time, it would be so nice to have BFP and something positive to look forward to.

 

[Bride2b]

Hi ladies... I'm back again..... crap.... I'm spotting..... blood - not alot of it but still worried like crazy about it! If it carries on tomorrow we're going to go in to hospital! Such a stress! Argh!
xxx

Oh hun I'm sure things r fine,but like you say it's best to get checked to settle your mind xxx try not to worry (like that's not going to be easy!) and try and rest xx wow your baby is the size of a banana now! Let us know how you are won't you xxxxx

 

[Bride2b]

Britney it's the sperm meets egg plan (smep) basically you bd every other day from cd8, then once you get pos OPK you bd that day & 2 more days, miss a day then try once more. I have a great link what I got from another thread,I'll post it in the morning as I'm on my phone in bed.....it's really good! There is a thread in ttc after a loss. I've been there ready & waiting to try. They had 8 ladies doing smep this month & 3 have got their BFP so far...I think there is one or two more about to test but a few didn't get lucky this month. Have a look if your intestested....if you can't find it I'll post a link in the morning. It seems fool proof if you follow it properly. It is supposed to give people who have recently lost more chance of falling pg again. Xxx

 

[Bride2b]

https://https://www.babyandbump.com/ttc-after-loss/848091-any-smepers-month-8-testers-2-bfp.html

Have a look at the thread.... I hope this link works from my phone! This is the thread I'm talking about & first page has a link to the info on it x

I'm going to try it along with EPO maybe royal jelly,temping,CBFM,& reflexology! I am one determined lady!!!! I WILL get my BFP! I just can't stop obsessing about being pregnant,I want it do much!xx

 

[kiki04]

Ive basically been doing SMEP although my days are 9, 12, 13, 15, 17 and today is 18 and can tell you now it wont be happening, so maybe a +OPK tomorrow so bd cd19 and 20

 

[blav]

https://https://www.babyandbump.com/ttc-after-loss/848091-any-smepers-month-8-testers-2-bfp.html

Have a look at the thread.... I hope this link works from my phone! This is the thread I'm talking about & first page has a link to the info on it x

I'm going to try it along with EPO maybe royal jelly,temping,CBFM,& reflexology! I am one determined lady!!!! I WILL get my BFP! I just can't stop obsessing about being pregnant,I want it do much!xx

Awesome, thanks! Will do this as well!

I can't stop obsessing over it either! Hopefully our angels are really looking over us this month and we will all get our BFPs!!!!!!

 

[Kelly9]

As soon as I got home from Toronto and everything sad that happened there I cleaned out anything and everything baby related and put it in our basement so I wouldn't be reminded. I know I'm not quiet in the same boat as some of you in terms of not knowing or not having gone into the hospital to get things checked out but I still get it. I wonder if the decisions I made regarding the fetal surgery were right, like what if we waited till she was a bit bigger or if we did the fetal transfusion first then waited for her anemia to correct before doing the surgery etc. I don't know if it would have changed anything but it's there at the back of my mind.

 

[SLCMommy]

Yeah I had an 11 day cycle but I was saying anything with an LP which is the time from ovulation till af.

FET is frozen embryo transfer. We did IVF/ICSI to conceive Hannah which makes this that much harder. I can't just conceive another baby with my hubby on our own, we needed help due to male factor infertility. I think it would be easier (for me) if I knew we didn't have other issues to deal with and could just try on our own to have a baby for however long it took. I can't help but think that we went through so much to have her and now she's just gone.

Any loss is sad, but when you have to go through hell & high water to just conceive a baby to just end up having to say goodbye too soon - that is just even more heartbreaking . I'm so sorry hun


AFM, I am taking each day at a time. I haven't heard back from my hospital about the pathology report, but I'm tempted to call on Monday and see if my OBGYN has gotten any information. At my next appointment on Feb 16, I really hope that the doctor gives me the "okay" to at least be intimidate with my husband. TMI, I know... but when I was pregnant my morning sickness was SO bad that I didn't even want him around, and now that I have gotten the good majority of my bulk crying out of my system, I really just want to show my DH how much I truly love him.

When you have a "check up" after a miscarriage.... does the medical provider do a vaginal exam?

 

[collie_crazy]

Erica I am so sorry you are going through this worry I'm sure it's nothing but like you said if it continues go get checked out let us know how you are, ok?

I did SMEP the cycle I conceived this time. It's hard work but it worked for us it's all about basically having a continuous supply of sperm there and waiting to pounce on that egg good luck with it girls!

I also get the 'could I have done more' feelings. Even though the problem Emily had was chromosomal and completely 'random' I still feel as though I'm at fault, I did it to her... Because I was the one growing her right? I feel guilty everyday for the decisions I made and constantly wonder if they were the right choices.

I think that's natural though, we will always have what ifs, why us, and buts and sometimes there just are no answers but I believe we all did what we thought was best for our babies at the time, look how much we all love them! We wouldn't be here if we didn't! Hindsight is a wonderful thing...

 

[jojo23]

awe erica sorry your getting this worry again! im sure its just LO keeping you on your toes!

how are all my ladies that are ttc? any symptoms dpo etc???

im doing good girls feeling a little more moevment lately, still no kicks but im worried about my bump size. i dont look pregnant at all and i just have a little wobbly tummy. when i lie down it almost disappears...i wish i could sleep through this and just wake up when its time for baby to come lol. i have everyone i know saying prayers for me..
my 20 week scan is in 11 days yay so im hoping that this year the 16th of feb will be a day full of joy for me instead of heartbreak.

hope you are all well girls love to everyone xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[blav]

Good luck at your scan, Jolene...let us know how it goes as soon as you can! Like I said in the other thread, I know Lily will be watching over you!

I told OH about the SMEP and he's on board so yaaaay! It seems to have a lot of positive results so I REALLY hope it works for us as well...even after just one month of TTC, I'm over it. I just want to be pregnant again and it seems like TTC just brings up a lot of emotions and makes me constantly think about how I'm NOT pregnant.

Also, have I ever mentioned how much I hate periods? I feel gross.

 

[jojo23]

Good luck at your scan, Jolene...let us know how it goes as soon as you can! Like I said in the other thread, I know Lily will be watching over you!

I told OH about the SMEP and he's on board so yaaaay! It seems to have a lot of positive results so I REALLY hope it works for us as well...even after just one month of TTC, I'm over it. I just want to be pregnant again and it seems like TTC just brings up a lot of emotions and makes me constantly think about how I'm NOT pregnant.

Also, have I ever mentioned how much I hate periods? I feel gross.

thanks so much hun!! yay for hubbie being on board..ttc is so draining at times isnt it, cause you so want to be pregnanct but getting knocked down every month is just heartbreaking. but it WILL happen for you hun and we're all sending you our positive prayers and thoughts xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Bride2b]

Jo hun I didnt look pregnant at 19 1/2 weeks & my baby was bang on the right size, so dont worry that your bump isnt showing much, soon you will pop and then spend your time trying to remember what your feet look like. 11 days will go so quick & you will get to see your gorgeous little one on the screen & it will be amazing, little Lily will be looking over you and her lil bro or sis! big hugs xx

Britney glad you OH is on board! It looks like a great way of getting that BFP!!xx

AFM - temps still up (as I said in the tww thread) just wondering whats happening! It snowed here loads last night so me and OH took our husky out for a walk with some bum sliders & had loads of fun sliding down hills! I did think I wouldnt have been doing that pregnant as I would have been 29 weeks. We had fun & it took my mind off everything for a few hours, then just went and had a nice roast dinner at the pub a few doors down! yum yum xx

 

[Hellylou]

Hi ladies

Erica, hope everything's ok. Most likely from cervix? Maybe some irritation, which is quite common

Jojo - don't worry about bump size too much. You must just be 'neat' as they say - I never showed much in 2nd tri with any of mine. People used to say to me 'where is it?'...then in 3rd tri I was enormous! Good luck on 16th - I have my booking in scan then too x

Good luck to all the TTC ladies this month. I am keeping everything crossed for you x

AFM: feeling ok. Just a bit down - prob because my daughter is away on a trip and I miss her, and also I'm just wishing time to go faster so I can start feeling more positive about this pregnancy. I should be happy but I feel like I can't be until I'm more sure everything is going to be ok...

 

[ericacaca]

Hi again ladies, really hope you're right. I called the hospital up, the doctor said as long as it doesnt come back again then they arent too worried about it. If it comes back again I should go in and get checked out. So now stressing hoping it doesnt happen again! Argh! I thought the whole checking the loo roll phase would be over by now! argh! I'm not going into work tomorrow or Tuesday as I find those two days the most stressful at work and I'm determined to take it easy and look after myself! xx

 

[Bride2b]

Helen wow 8 weeks already!! xxx Gosh time flies xx

 

[jojo23]

eek helen 8 weeks yay
erica been thinking of you all day and saying a little prayer! im sure its nothing to worry about,but its easy to say that cause i know you will be going crazy...the joys

hellylou thanks so much im feeling a but better about my bump now lol its very neat but at least its there. i know lots of my friends didnt show until they were about 24-26 weeks so hopefully by then ill be nice and plump. lol the one time i want some fat hehe xxxxxxxxxxx