march/April babies?

[sethsmummy]

Lol Thanks guys both have helped a bit. Im not scheduled for a c section and hopefully i dont need to get one as thats a huge fear factor for me i think. i put i dont wont the epic either i would much prefer just gas and air. I would love to try the water birth to as ive heard good things about it but for my first i wanna be brave enough to go natural as possible. My sister had morphine to help with pain so i think if i really need anything else i would ask for that instead. I would like my mum and Ryan to be in the room and if my mum aint there just Ryan as if not to comfortable having his mum in there lol. Must add that part on my plan.

I did do a search on here for birth plans to see what other people put so i got a good idea what to write down xxx

before i chose my elcs i had a normal birth plan wrote.

- hubby to be present throughout
- would like to use birthing pool if possible, gas and air. No Epidural or any other medications, i do not want to be OUT OF IT when baby is born
- Baby to be monitored with hand held doppler
- limited internals only when necessary
- no cathater
- would like to be free to walk around and get into any position i wish
- would like skin to skin immediately
- limited amount of people coming in and out of room, preferably just 1 midwife or 2 if needed.
- delayed cord clamping until cord stops pulsating, then dh to cut cord
- no injection for placenta coming out unless 1 hour has passed
- NO FORECEPS OR VONTOUSE
- Baby not to be taken away unless completely necessary, if baby needs to goto NICU i want to be shown first. husband will accompany baby
- wish to try breast feeding, but will swap to formula if i wish.
- to be allowed home as soon as possible after birth
- vitamin K by injection

there was lots more but i cant remember xx

 

[MummyPony]

Can I ask ....why the bits about baby not being taken away unless accompanied? Surely if its an emergency and they need specialist care?

 

[doggylover]

No way would I be comfortable with them taking my baby away without dh going too. Even if he's only allowed to go and stand outside the room they take baby into, my baby will not go anywhere unaccompanied by one of us (probably him if I've just pushed a watermelon through the eye of a needle ) unless they can give me an exceptional reason for why he cannot go.

 

[Mrs_Bump]

I'd ideally like delayed clamping as not delaying it is linked to anaemia later on but because of my weight and parental history I have been identified as a bleeding risk so I will discuss it with the doctors. To me it's not worth the risk of me being unwell and not as able to care for him. But it's very much a personal choice, but definitley something worth researching.
My birth plan will be reasonably flexible as I've never done thus before so don't know what I will want at the time but I still think its worth doing, even if only because it helps me to focus on researching the choices.

 

[ukgirl23]

Thanks for the info sethsmummy I have never heard of that before. I willnlook more into it xx

I dont really have a birth plan. I had one with my first baby and nothing I planned actually happened because once I was in labour nothing really mattered to me other than getting my baby out and making sure she was okay so I let them get on with it. I have preferences but I think having an open mind to labour works best for me.

I think my first plan said something like no male doctors in the room while Im in labour... I pushed for about 45 mins but she kept going back up so they asked if he could come and have a look. At that point I would have let the world come and look as long as it meant she would come out. Then my second thing was no cutting... obviously as she was stuck they asked me again so I agreed to it.. my other was no epidural... after 22 hours of labour I begged for one.... with my son my second baby I asked only for the birthing pool and epidural but my waters went 3 days before he came so that got scratched and I also asked for the epidural this time but got there too late for it.

So yeh Im not having a plan this time round lol xx

 

[dollface85]

thats kind of my birthplan, not having one. Ideally I don't want an epidural, be cut etc. but will see how everything goes and how I feel while in labor. So I guess my birthing plan will say ask me before you do anything/make any decisions and I might say NO a lot lol

 

[fisher640]

Thanks for the info sethsmummy I have never heard of that before. I willnlook more into it xx

I dont really have a birth plan. I had one with my first baby and nothing I planned actually happened because once I was in labour nothing really mattered to me other than getting my baby out and making sure she was okay so I let them get on with it. I have preferences but I think having an open mind to labour works best for me.

I think my first plan said something like no male doctors in the room while Im in labour... I pushed for about 45 mins but she kept going back up so they asked if he could come and have a look. At that point I would have let the world come and look as long as it meant she would come out. Then my second thing was no cutting... obviously as she was stuck they asked me again so I agreed to it.. my other was no epidural... after 22 hours of labour I begged for one.... with my son my second baby I asked only for the birthing pool and epidural but my waters went 3 days before he came so that got scratched and I also asked for the epidural this time but got there too late for it.

So yeh Im not having a plan this time round lol xx

Yeah my friend asked me about a birth plan and I said "my birth plan is that me and my baby go home healthy, beyond that everything is negotiable"

 

[MummyPony]

Thanks for the info sethsmummy I have never heard of that before. I willnlook more into it xx

I dont really have a birth plan. I had one with my first baby and nothing I planned actually happened because once I was in labour nothing really mattered to me other than getting my baby out and making sure she was okay so I let them get on with it. I have preferences but I think having an open mind to labour works best for me.

I think my first plan said something like no male doctors in the room while Im in labour... I pushed for about 45 mins but she kept going back up so they asked if he could come and have a look. At that point I would have let the world come and look as long as it meant she would come out. Then my second thing was no cutting... obviously as she was stuck they asked me again so I agreed to it.. my other was no epidural... after 22 hours of labour I begged for one.... with my son my second baby I asked only for the birthing pool and epidural but my waters went 3 days before he came so that got scratched and I also asked for the epidural this time but got there too late for it.

So yeh Im not having a plan this time round lol xx

Yeah my friend asked me about a birth plan and I said "my birth plan is that me and my baby go home healthy, beyond that everything is negotiable"

^^ this!

 

[NatalieW]

I don't have a birth plan. As long as he is delivered safe and I am safe I really don't care. Same as last time really.

 

[sethsmummy]

Can I ask ....why the bits about baby not being taken away unless accompanied? Surely if its an emergency and they need specialist care?

even in an emergency situation i would fully expect my DH to accompany baby so that i can be updated sooner on what is happening and that *touch wood* If anything went drastically wrong.. at least one of us would be able to have spent time with baby and baby would not be "alone". When DS1 was taken straight out to NICU DH accompanies him from the moment he was taken out the theatre door. Its more a peace of mind thing for me. Plus if its not an emergency then the hospital where i am usually expect a parent to be present anyway x

My birth plan with DS1 wasnt even looked at by the midwives and went out the window before it even got started. Thats why i am so adamant that it will go by my birth plan this time especially baby not being taken away unless totally needed, skin to skin, being shown baby if they have to be taken away etc. I had none of that with DS1 so want it so badly this time. And to be honest i dont think what i have asked for is much to ask for at all x

 

[ukgirl23]

See I was alone when I birthed my son. My ex husband left me when I was three months pregnant and I was living abroad in Norway at the time. I was in intensive care for three days after my waters broke three days before he was born. The day after my baby was born he had to have round the clock tests to check for infection. I wasnt able to go with him and I was alone. So he went alone. He was well looked after and the nurses work best when they can just do what they need to without having to explain everything. So I personally do not understand the rule of not letting your baby go alone with a nurse :/ what is the fear? Xx

 

[sethsmummy]

See I was alone when I birthed my son. My ex husband left me when I was three months pregnant and I was living abroad in Norway at the time. I was in intensive care for three days after my waters broke three days before he was born. The day after my baby was born he had to have round the clock tests to check for infection. I wasnt able to go with him and I was alone. So he went alone. He was well looked after and the nurses work best when they can just do what they need to without having to explain everything. So I personally do not understand the rule of not letting your baby go alone with a nurse :/ what is the fear? Xx

For me its a fear of them doing something they are not supposed to. Not all medical staff are nice... as we keep seeing in the news. Plus my experience with how ds1 was treated when taken away by a midwife without me leaves me not wanting it to happen again. He did not have nice caring nurses.. he was left in a corridoor by himself for 99% of the night. xx

 

[doggylover]

Ukgirl that is awful You must have been so worried.

It's just something that has been drilled into us since pretty much we were born - you never let them take your baby away unattended. I suppose maybe here it's a superstitious thing, or like a throw back from when they potentially could have mixed babies up I know it's pretty irrational these days when everything is geared towards baby safety and that drs and nurses are the best people baby can be with if something goes wrong, but it's been ground into me for so long that it is not the right thing to let happen, that it actually makes me feel a bit queasy thinking about it!

I agree with Sethsmummy, for me it's a thing that the baby shouldn't be "alone". Obviously they wouldn't ACTUALLY be alone because there would be loads of medical personnel with them, but I would hate the thought of them being without one of us if anything awful should happen.

Obviously a lot of the time people don't have a choice - for example if they are alone, or if something very serious happens and someone isn't allowed to go. But god forbid that would happen to any of us.

 

[ukgirl23]

sethsmummy thats awful that they left him alone in a hallway like that! in Norway they had a special nursery room which all the babies who were being tested went to and they were never alone. This is my first baby in the UK so I dont know much about it, after reading your comment and doggylovers comment though I fully understand! It was a bit scary when I woke up the next day and Lucas wasn't next to me I panicked a bit, but it's standard practice there that they take them for tests and if you're sleeping hey don't bother waking you. They put name tags on their wrists and ankles the moment they are born. I get worried here because it feels like in this country women get pushed through a system like cattle :/

 

[sethsmummy]

It can be like that in some hospitals ukgirl. It really sucks. In the UK they do "rooming in" where the baby is left with you in your room. The only time they are taken away should be to NICU/SCBU where there is generally really nice staff with them at all times.

with DS1 i had had a spinal block done as he was born via assisted delivery and i was pre-prepped for an EMCS. I didn't get feeling back in my legs for a good 5/6 hours. The midwives were horrid and were so grumpy having to help me! They got so moody changing my maternity pad but there was nothing i could do about it. My son was born at 8:52pm and took straight to SCBU/NICU, he was brought back to me 12:30am and just left in the cot beside my bed. I was laid almost flat so couldn't see him and couldnt lift him as i was still numb. All i could do was touch him with the tip of my fingers. A midwife came after much pestering from me and literally just plonked him beside me and left.. came back few mins later and tried to make him breast feed (he was tiny and i have big boobs) which didnt work so she put him back in the cot. 30 mins went by and more pestering from me and she did the same again... then decided I couldnt look after him due to being numb so she just took him and put him in the corridoor near the midwife station. My alarms were going off all night and she refused to come sort them out when they went off. 7am i asked about Seth and was told nothing... told to go shower and shown to where it was.. came back .. was told off for not having a maternity pad (i did in my suitcase which they had left in the room i had been in before going to theatre the night before). 8am and i asked to have Seth... nothing came of it.. so 8:30am i went looking for him and found him near the midwife station. Took him in and never let him leave my side again.

You have to be very head strong in most UK maternity wards hun and make sure they do things properly. Although i had such a horrid experience first time round (including the care we received afterwards and poor attitudes from staff.. i was bullied by 2 midwifes because seth wouldnt take more than 10ml of milk and it was apparently my fault) I have been told this hospital i am in this time is 100 times better and the staff are much more caring. So i have my fingers crosed.. and if they are not.. then i will be discharging myself and baby either with or without their consent. x

 

[ukgirl23]

sethsmummy I'm so sorry for your first experience, it should NEVER be like that! Especially for FTMs!! What an awful horrible bunch of cows they were. When I read about you only being able to touch him with your fingertips I felt awful for you! I'm dreading being treated that way, In norway we pay for our births so everything is included. They treat you so well, all the night clothes, underwear, pads baby clothing is provided while you stay in the hospital, you have your own private room which OH can stay in too, en-suit shower and toilet, tv room, canteen, GP's office, visiting room and even a room with round the clock classes like baby massage and breast feeding help. I loved it there, one day I forgot to eat I was having come downs from the pethadine and was anxious so the midwife came in with some dinner in my room and talked to me for a while about stuff, they got to know me, and when I went back to have my second baby I got the same delivery midwife and all the midwifes on the post natal ward knew me from before.
I can't believe how little I've been checked in this pregnancy! I've only had 3 midwife appointments. They get me in read through their check list, write in my notes then ask me if I have any questions and send me off. There's no connection there, It's really weird. In my last pregnancies I saw my doctor every 2 weeks and my midwife every 2 weeks until the end where it was every week. I don't even know what the labour ward here looks like or if they will let me take the tour. It's so frustrating.

I hope you have a better experience this time xxx

 

[sethsmummy]

Thank you hun, I'm so sorry your experience wasn't nice either hun There are a lot of people who have brilliant birth experiences in the uk.. i just wasn't a lucky one. And all of the hospitals are different in what they provide or what their facilities are like.

That first hospital, you are on a ward with 5 other ladies until you are so far into your labour (i was induced), then you are taken to your own room, but there was no bathroom in them. I had to walk down the hall to use a bathroom. Then after that it was straight back onto another ward with 3 other women just sharing one toilet and shower between you all. Hardly any room and could only fit 2 visitors at your bedside. You couldnt walk around with your baby outside of the ward room you were allocated "incase you dropped them".. they had to be wheeled round in their cot.

This time round, From word go i will have my own room which has a HUGE en-suite in it.. big bath, shower, toilet, sink and B-day. I will have 1 midwife who stays with me throughout instead of loads of different ones and can walk around as i please with baby and there is a room for ladies to sit together if they wish.

I get a lot of appointments due to problems i had with DS1 and being a bigger woman so i cant say i dont see midwife enough.. im now on weekly appointments. Have you asked your midwife about a tour hun? some hospitals do them but some don't. There are also some where you can view it online. I had a tour at the first hospital through antenatal classes. This time round i know what the rooms look like as my sister had her 4 children there and i saw the "birthing" rooms a few weeks ago when i was being monitored for reduced movements.

I hope you get a really nice experience in the UK hun! xxx

 

[MummyPony]

Wow sethsmummy how absolutely awful for you! Our midwifes and hospital are absolutely lovely but I can see why you don't want to be parted from your own experience!

 

[ukgirl23]

Sethsmummy I hope you have a better experience this time hun. xx

 

[sethsmummy]

thanks ukgirl & mummypony. I feel i missed out a lot with my first birth and the first while afterwards. I sat and read an old diary last night and it reminded me just how much it effected my bonding with seth once we got home.
Its annoying to think if things had been different i would be a lot more confident this time round and would probably have opted for another natural birth instead of being terrified and going for a section. It always goes through my head what can go wrong and i think .. "well its bound to happen to me". Exactly 5 weeks today and im crapping myself. BUT iv not heard one bad story from the hospital i am at this time and i know i will be much more headstrong this time round if i need to be xxx