March rainbows 2018

[karoolia]

Less than a week until my anatomy scan!

 

[Myshelsong]

Almost scan time! I think there are a couple people getting scans this week?

How is everyone doing?
I am doing good I think, although getting waves and waves of panic mixed in with feeling like everything is ok. I hate this anterior placenta. I feel like I am almost feeling things, like small things but nothing is for sure. Because of this I am using my Doppler every other day just to stay sane!

Having some family over this weekend and doing an Autumn Soup party. Just a get together where everyone brings some soup and bread and chit chats. Should be fun, although we are still waiting to hear in the MIL is coming. She had an argument with hubs just after thanksgiving for no real reason so we will see ...

 

[karoolia]

Sorry about the fight with the MIL myshel. Soup party sounds fun!

I think movements are hard to discern at first anyway so with an anterior placenta I'm not surprised you're finding it difficult. I'm glad you have a doppler and it reassures you.

My next scan is next Wednesday. I'm very eager for it to come.

I *think* I'm doing well, but people keep suggesting I go to counseling because I tend to be honest and tell them that I am still very nervous. Apparently none of my pregnant friends think that is rational. I don't know. Maybe counseling would be a good idea, but no one who has had a miscarriage has suggested this to me. In fact most of those people seem to think the way I feel is very normal. So I'm wondering if maybe I'm not that off-base and they just don't really get it?

 

[Myshelsong]

Honestly if you feel overwhelmed and need to talk with someone go to a counsellor, there is nothing wrong with seeking help.
However your friends don't get it. Feeling nervous and scared is NORMAL after a loss. You don't have the benefit of being blissfully pregnant without knowing it could happen to you, because you know it could.
I hate to say it because I hate doing it, but I found that with some people that just don't seem to understand what I am going through emotionally I sensor my responses to them. They ask how I am and I say excited, because I am. They don't want to hear about the terrified and nervous part of the excitement as well because they don't get it. They think I should be over the grief of loosing my son. The other thing I did was back away from some people. I am not reaching out as much or responding to every text because I just can't.

 

[karoolia]

I'm not ruling out a counselor. I have had really bad experiences with them in the past that make me very hesitant, but trying to be open minded. I definitely think learning coping mechanisms for anything going on in life can be a good thing.

I guess what sort of bothers me is I feel much more relaxed than I did earlier on. The fear of something going wrong is still there so I am open about it, but for me I feel like I am doing 100x better, I even bought some cute baby things while we were in Vegas. I don't spend all my time worrying and have no problem doing everything I need to do and carrying on with life as normal. Early on the few people who knew seemed to completely get why I would be nervous, but it's like I'm not supposed to be anymore. So my lessor fear and nerves now seem to be a bigger concern to others than my major early concerns.

I guess I just wonder if this is all part of miscarriage not being discussed openly enough. That leads me to wonder if I should keep trying to explain to help make people aware that these feelings are normal or if I should censor myself to keep from getting frustrated with people who just don't get it.

 

[Myshelsong]

I don't know. It is weird that your friends are being so hyper sensitive to the fact that you are still.

How is everyone doing?

 

[darlingqueen]

Hi everyone, sorry I've been absent for a bit. It's been crazy busy with my son's school and family plans. Updates on my end. Genetically everything came back fine, and baby girl is doing good as far as I know! I have my anatomy scan on the 7th, so I'm pretty excited for that. They have a portable ultrasound in the office so they peek in every couple visits to see her and she's moving around like crazy. I'm starting to feel SOME movement, but it's not completely consistent, so one day will be a lot, and then the next day none and I want to cry. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes this time around, but so far I eat whatever I crave and I haven't had one bad number, so I'll take it. The diagnosis gave me extra monitoring, which is nice, I go every 2 weeks instead of monthly. I am actually STILL suffering from some morning sickness, this time around has been the worst out of all my pregnancies, and because of it I'm currently 10 pounds under my prepregnancy weight, I had it to lose, so it's all good. Lastly, still no baby bump! I am impatient for my bump, and it's taking it's sweet time to show, but I was told I have a tilted uterus and that probably plays into why I don't show until later. Swore I was showing by this point with #2 though. It's probably just going to pop up one morning and I'm going to be shocked lol

How is everyone doing? morning sickness gone?!

 

[karoolia]

glad to hear everything is going well darligqueen! How far along are you now, I forget.

I wouldn't worry about no bump, it just means longer in your clothes. I'm showing now, but everything still fits so I mostly just look bigger haha.

You're anatomy scan is getting close! You must be excited. Mine is on Wednesday and I can't wait. I'm a little nervous, but very eager.

I'm sorry you still have morning sickness, hopefully it goes away soon.

 

[Myshelsong]

I had nausea until 16 weeks, and still get bought some of it if I am not eating enough.
Glad you are being monitored regularly, although sorry about your diabetes.

Only two more days Karoolia! Wahoo. Hoping everything will go smoothly for you.

Fall is officially here and the leafs are finally changing in the back yard. So excited for the cool weather, I have been so warm lately. Although I had a few kicks a few weeks ago, I think with this anterior placenta I am going to be out of luck for a while. I have felt nothing for a bit. I know I am only 19w so it is common but was really hoping to keep my anxiety down with movement. oh well.

 

[karoolia]

Today is scan day for me! I'm hoping everything looks good. Feeling very eager for this appointment. Just 3 1/2 hours to wait.

 

[maryanne1987]

Glad everyone is doing ok! Can't believe we are halfway or almost halfway!

Not great news here. Had our 20 week scan yesterday, bleed is still there, she has an irregular heartbeat and possibly only one kidney. Rescan in two weeks. Very upset but she's a fighter so I know she will be ok. Just please excuse me if I'm not on much. I'm finding things so tough at the moment.

 

[Myshelsong]

Good luck Karoolia!

Maryanne, so sorry that you are going through this uncertainty. We are all sending you lots of positive thoughts and support. Hoping that the scan in the next couple weeks will bring good results for you. Big hugs and love.

Afm I think things are ok. Next scan next week at 21 weeks to follow up on the last anatomy scan. I am terrified beyond belief, but I heard th heartbeat this morning so feeling ok. Just having some sharp pains on my side when I shift in bed. Hoping h Is is growing pains and not something serious.

 

[karoolia]

Thanks Myshel!

maryanne, I am so sorry you haven't gotten better news. I wish that bleed would go away, but hopefully it isn't growing at least. I really hope your baby continues to do well. Missing a kidney is worrisome, but she can make it. My mom was born with two, but only one ever worked. The only time it was really a problem was when she was pregnant and developed kidney stones in the one good one. I am thinking about you and sending lots of good thoughts and virtual hugs!

 

[Myshelsong]

Karoolia- how was the scan?

 

[karoolia]

Everything was perfect! It was a long appointment and I felt nervous from time to time, but everything was fine and we got a few peaks at baby's face

 

[Myshelsong]

So wonderful, love the Pic!

So I am over this anterior placenta thing, I am 20w and just want to feel this little baby move around, it would ease so much of my fear but I just can't feel anything, nothing that I can specifically say that is a kick. Ugh. I am trying not to get depressed about this but I can't help it, I am constantly worried. And now my Doppler is acting up and crackling so it I am going to have to get a new one.

Anyone else on the anterior train with me?

 

[maryanne1987]

Glad the scan went well karoolia.

Yep anterior here myshelsong. I do feel her but I can go days and days with nothing which terrifies me. I had anterior with my last son too and barely felt him all pregnancy. Anterior placentas are awful.

 

[Sweetkat]

Karoolia, so glad the scan went well

Myshel, anterior placenta here too. With my first DD I only felt small flutters at 19 weeks (don't know if I was anterior then). This time mine is anterior and very high, so I can only feel kicks low down but not high up.

Maryanne, so sorry the bleed is still there. Hope it clears up soon. Re the kidney, could it be that they just didn't see it?

Afm, we told some friends last weekend and OH told his brother. Haven't told anyone else although I will tell if they ask.

I am thinking of getting a 3D scan in a week or so, so curious to see what she looks like . Anyone else getting a 3D scan?

Have a good weekend everyone xxxx

 

[Myshelsong]

Hi Sweetkat - glad you felt comfortable telling some friends. We prob won't do a 3D until later if we do one that is.

So we are less than a week away for my follow up ultrasound less then a week from 21W. I can already feel my anxiety increase with this milestone. Our loss was just after 21w and was found on the anatomy scan and I am just ... freaking out. I hope that it can stay calm this week. Trying to keep the panic down is so much harder than I thought it would be.

 

[Sweetkat]

Myshel, I can understand the anxiety but the chances of the same thing happening at the same time twice in a row are almost zero. I am an anxious person myself and my friend's DD has just been diagnosed as autistic, so I am worrying about that, even though I have no particular reason to (well, as much as about any other illness or condition). So of course fears and worries are irrational

Also, with DD1 I could feel movement (just about) at 19 weeks. I think it's normally around week 19-22 with a first pregnancy so you will be able to feel movement very soon and that will be reassuring.

Hope the time to your scan flies by xxx