Those are great symptoms to have altogether, although know what you mean about needing the bfp. I did test this morning and only one line, I stared at that test for about an hour-hence me asking if control lines should fade!
I had my 20 week Mark a couple of weeks ago, and it was tough so i sympathise with you today.
I'm trying to be strong but nearly just crumbled, went to mama and papa to buy a friend a toy, she is due in 5 weeks, couldn't help but stare at the beautiful baskets and blankets, made me very sad.