One Born>?

[PeanutBean]

I agree with everything you girls have said. We need evidence on both sides. I think the MWs being lied to might have a point, after all they're not qualified in epidurals either, do we think all MWs keep up to date with all research on the medical interventions? Maybe they do but I bet not, for whatever reason (overwork probably!).

I don't think second time mums are allowed at the antenatal classes our team runs otherwise I'd go and stick my oar into everything! Every day I feel I was more and more naive about the whole thing and I really thought I had an open mind and understood my options.

 

[Bournefree]

Oh yeah, I felt as though I was pretty informed about my first birth, but was caught out when the MW asked me if I'd like my DD to have the Vit K injection after she was born - I didn't have a clue what they were talking about.. hadn't read about it, hadn't even heard of it!!
It's interesting they wouldn't allow you to go second time around.. I have been offered, but I didn't want to do it again. They should have secret second time mums volunter to go in.. and give feedback on quality? ;-)

Zara, Yeah that lovely Nigerian lady was doing so well, and I couldn't tell if she did have it or not, as that bit was cut? (or did I miss it going in?)
XxX

 

[PeanutBean]

I haven't asked and they haven't offered but in the depths of my mind I think it's the case. I could be wrong. I'm not sure I'd have the time anyway!

 

[Zarababy1]

I duno I think she did have it and it was just cut out but it wasn't very clear! Either way she was doing fine and really didn't need the epi I hate how easy the midwife gave in to her "I want an epi" "ok I'll go get it sorted for you" dear me! I shouldn't be that easy its almost like giving up! She didn't offer her anything else! I don't know if that was because she asked if it would affect the baby and something like pethadine would but still midwifes give in far to easy on something that is most of the time completely unnecessary! If they care about nothing else they should at least think about the cost!

 

[aob1013]

Some of the comments in this thread are really upsetting.

I think we all need to remember that birth can go many different ways, and it isn't set in stone. Sometimes Mums have no control whatsoever about the outcome, whether it be a hospital birth, section, epidurals etc. Everyone handles pain differently.

First time Mums who don't know what's in store for them yet, need to be more open minded about this situation. Best to keep an open mind really.

 

[indy and lara]

I don't think second time mums are allowed at the antenatal classes our team runs otherwise I'd go and stick my oar into everything! Every day I feel I was more and more naive about the whole thing and I really thought I had an open mind and understood my options.

Second time Mums can go to ante natal classes here. We went to AN classes when I was pg with Emma. There were 2 other ladies who had had babies previously too.

 

[indy and lara]

Oh, and at our classes they did say that the epi would make the baby sleepy afterwards so I guess that was their acknowledgement?

 

[Anababe]

I only went to the classes for my first, I cant remember what they said about the Epidural to be honest.

I do think though we cant be so quick to judge those who have whatever pain relief/choose C-Sec. Im all for going natural and personally would NEVER want an Epidural now and glad I have never had one. But everyone copes differently, I was in so much pain with my first I was begging for pain relief and they kept refusing telling me I wasnt in as much pain as i thought (in a patronising not supportive way!), so they didnt give in to me at all. Im glad now I did it without anything but it left me with only bad memories of my hospital experience because I was left with no pain relief when I really wanted it. So in a way id rather they had given in to me than completely ignoring my request for help when I clearly wasnt coping.

Ive been lucky really with both my births, one of my best friends had a horrible first experience, very large baby (over 10lb and shes only a small girl) severe tearing, forceps delivery which ended up with baby having brain damage and given just 24 hrs to live (Luckily he ended up fine and is 7 now!). She chose elective C-Sec for her next two as she didnt want to go through labour again. I personally would rather do anything than have a csec but i dont blame her or think bad of her at all for choosing to go that route rather than natural labour again.

 

[PeanutBean]

I don't think anyone has judged any of the mums for wanting an epidural or other pain relief. I think mostly the beef (certainly mine anyway) is with the health professionals downright lying.

ETA I had everything in my first labour!

 

[Mervs Mum]

Some of the comments in this thread are really upsetting.

I think we all need to remember that birth can go many different ways, and it isn't set in stone. Sometimes Mums have no control whatsoever about the outcome, whether it be a hospital birth, section, epidurals etc. Everyone handles pain differently.

First time Mums who don't know what's in store for them yet, need to be more open minded about this situation. Best to keep an open mind really.

Which comments have upset you? As PB said no one has said anything about which pain relief people have or dont have but that the HCPs did not always appear to act in the best interests of the mums AND that at times they lied!

And I have had an epidural, forceps, episiotomy, pethadine, G&A and the WHOOOOOLE shibang with my first baby so I speak as someone with experience of BOTH sides of the coin I WISH I had known then what I know now.......

First time mums who dont know what's in store for them yet

I just WISH I had known then what I know now.......I dont know how to read that comment at all.......

 

[Zarababy1]

I agree with you lot its not the ladys wanting pain relief in labour that's the problem for me its the way the midwifes and drs deal with it, instead of trying alternatives with the woman like getting most of them off their backs, I feel like they give in just for an easy life most of the time, I had pethadine that I didn't want or need when I was in labour with harry 15mins before he was born which led to us both being sleepy and me having an issue with bonding with him if the midwife had just told me I was doing fine and to calm down and breath more we wouldn't have been put in that situation, same can probably be said for most other women on obem!

 

[aob1013]

Some of the comments in this thread are really upsetting.

I think we all need to remember that birth can go many different ways, and it isn't set in stone. Sometimes Mums have no control whatsoever about the outcome, whether it be a hospital birth, section, epidurals etc. Everyone handles pain differently.

First time Mums who don't know what's in store for them yet, need to be more open minded about this situation. Best to keep an open mind really.

Which comments have upset you? As PB said no one has said anything about which pain relief people have or dont have but that the HCPs did not always appear to act in the best interests of the mums AND that at times they lied!

And I have had an epidural, forceps, episiotomy, pethadine, G&A and the WHOOOOOLE shibang with my first baby so I speak as someone with experience of BOTH sides of the coin I WISH I had known then what I know now.......

First time mums who dont know what's in store for them yet

I just WISH I had known then what I know now.......I dont know how to read that comment at all.......

I'm not going to go back and quote people as i don't have the time, or energy for war

But, as a Mum who was hoping for a natural birth in the water, or a homebirth i found myself in preterm labour, had to have him in the hospital, had to have an epidural, emergency section etc and some of the comments in this thread i have found upsetting. Almost mocking people that are having or had to have their babies in hospital.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Well I HAVE gone back over it to check there is nothing mocking ANYONE in this thread and I am offended at you implying there is. If you took time to talk to the women on this thread and others on this board you will see a large percentage of them have found themselves in similar and even much worse situations than you found yourself in. They planned natural / home / water births and ended up feeling let down / violated / lied to. So you should see that here you can actually find solidarity amongst women who truly know your pain.

 

[Mervs Mum]

and I dont want a 'war' - I'm a lover not a fighter

 

[aob1013]

and I dont want a 'war' - I'm a lover not a fighter

Me too

 

[aob1013]

Well I HAVE gone back over it to check there is nothing mocking ANYONE in this thread and I am offended at you implying there is. If you took time to talk to the women on this thread and others on this board you will see a large percentage of them have found themselves in similar and even much worse situations than you found yourself in. They planned natural / home / water births and ended up feeling let down / violated / lied to. So you should see that here you can actually find solidarity amongst women who truly know your pain.

I don't really care if you are offended, i am allowed an opinion and that's how i feel about it.

I know that there are other women who have also experienced similar stories, and like i have felt let down, violated and lied too. Just some of the comments i have personally found upsetting. I am allowed to say that.

 

[Mervs Mum]

I don't really care if you are offended, i am allowed an opinion and that's how i feel about it.

I know that there are other women who have also experienced similar stories, and like i have felt let down, violated and lied too. Just some of the comments i have personally found upsetting. I am allowed to say that.

Of course you're allowed to say it. What a shame that I DO care if you are offended yet you feel it's ok to be offensive

 

[Jenniflower]

Well I HAVE gone back over it to check there is nothing mocking ANYONE in this thread and I am offended at you implying there is. If you took time to talk to the women on this thread and others on this board you will see a large percentage of them have found themselves in similar and even much worse situations than you found yourself in. They planned natural / home / water births and ended up feeling let down / violated / lied to. So you should see that here you can actually find solidarity amongst women who truly know your pain.

I don't really care if you are offended, i am allowed an opinion and that's how i feel about it.

I know that there are other women who have also experienced similar stories, and like i have felt let down, violated and lied too. Just some of the comments i have personally found upsetting. I am allowed to say that.

I find it interesting that you're allowed an opinion whilst the other women on here are not.

We're quite an open minded group of gals and having personally been through every page on this thread to find out who was being a bit on the rude side I can't seem to find a single one.

The show is meant to be talked about and discussed. Women want to share their opinions and their fears. They want to talk about how it made them feel and what they liked and disliked. And in my experience this is one of the few places on this board where we all feel like we can express those thoughts. So please don't come on here making any of them feel bad for anything they've said and trying to make trouble. We're all peace loving, placenta eating hippies here.

 

[Mervs Mum]

We're all peace loving, placenta eating hippies here.

We are! I even wear flowers in my hair and occasionally forget to shave my pits!

But seriously - there are never any fall outs over here

 

[aob1013]

Well I HAVE gone back over it to check there is nothing mocking ANYONE in this thread and I am offended at you implying there is. If you took time to talk to the women on this thread and others on this board you will see a large percentage of them have found themselves in similar and even much worse situations than you found yourself in. They planned natural / home / water births and ended up feeling let down / violated / lied to. So you should see that here you can actually find solidarity amongst women who truly know your pain.

I don't really care if you are offended, i am allowed an opinion and that's how i feel about it.

I know that there are other women who have also experienced similar stories, and like i have felt let down, violated and lied too. Just some of the comments i have personally found upsetting. I am allowed to say that.

I find it interesting that you're allowed an opinion whilst the other women on here are not.

We're quite an open minded group of gals and having personally been through every page on this thread to find out who was being a bit on the rude side I can't seem to find a single one.

The show is meant to be talked about and discussed. Women want to share their opinions and their fears. They want to talk about how it made them feel and what they liked and disliked. And in my experience this is one of the few places on this board where we all feel like we can express those thoughts. So please don't come on here making any of them feel bad for anything they've said and trying to make trouble. We're all peace loving, placenta eating hippies here.

Everyone is allowed an opinion, and we are all allowed to comment on that opinion

Nobody is right or wrong here, i just wanted to add my 2 cents of how i felt.

Expressing opinion, is not causing trouble