Hi ladies!
I have missed you all so much! Sorry I haven't been around lately...I have been slammed at work...and since we all know how wonderful my luck is..
On Sunday, the 1st, around 11:30 pm, my 1 year due date...i decided to take a drive..listen to music..have a cigarette..and ironically was going to meet a friend who had some pain meds because my back was hurting so much...Was making a turn at a green arrow (Jess, i am sure you know the intersection, County line and Yosemite...i was going left on Yosemite...which is how I get to work every day anyway. Someone ran the red light (he was so far away, I didn't even see him coming...County line's speed limit is 45mph..but even during the day...most people (including myself) will go 50-55, because it is such a clear, big road...I imagine he was going at least 50. He hit my front end, almost the passenger door...thank god he didn't or I would probably be dead. I had moved my metal cat stroller cage to the back seat that night..if that had been on the passenger seat as usual, since that is how I was transporting marbles to work every day...it would have likely impaled my side.
I was in so much shock...both of my airbags deployed, my lower back, which already had severe pain..is excruciating. Every part of my body is still hurting. Especially my lower back, shoulder blades, ribs, collar bones, neck, stomach, right wrist...Most from the seatbelt and air bag...the airbag scratched my chin...seatbelt cut into my shoulder a bit...tummy turned out to be badly bruised from the lower strap. Pretty much everything hurts. It's awful.
I was trying to get out of the car, at least open the door...it smelled so horrible...like smoke and just this terrible smell from the airbags. Was totally hysterical and bawling...like panic attack bawling...It all happened so fast...Even with defensive driving skills from taking a long course when I was 16...other than pausing at green lights briefly...(which possibly saved my life) there was no way I could have stopped it.
The guy who hit me ran around and asked if I was ok, while I was having a panic attack and trying to text my friend what happened...he immediately was like...'Oh my god, ok, I am going to call an ambulance'...then other people were stopping and telling me not to move and a lady called my mom for me...I called mike, who didn't pick up, but apparently left him a voicemail just crying and all he could understand was at the end saying to call my mom. Totally thought my back or neck were broken.
The police and ambulance came so fast, and my mom...I think the police asked me what happened...I was crying and said I had a green arrow...the guy that hit me (who looked much older...but turned out to only be 21) then said he wasn't paying attention...then I remember the officer seeming pissed at him and asking if he had his information.
They took me to the worst hospital possible...tried to start an IV in the ambulance, and like 5 times at the hospital with no luck...the fucking doctor came in and no joke said 'because of the note on your records here, we don't want to give you anything for pain'...but I will give you 2 percocet. There I am strapped to a frickin board and in a neck brace in a trauma room, and he offered me 2 percocet. My neck hurt so bad I could barely swallow..but since it was all I was going to set they crushed it up and I managed to get it down. I was so mad. This hospital I had been to a lot for my RSD in my foot, and my pain doctor told them to never treat my pain...Months ago my mom took me there for my foot...I was appalled when they told me this..and (obviously not knowing!) asked what would happen if I was in a horrible car accident or something...the dr said that would be different and they would treat me like anyone else. Absolute bullshit.
We were trying to get transferred to a different hospital...but they just did tests on what was hurting most at the time...back xray..neck ct and ultrasound of my stomach.
The only thing that came back iffy was I had trace amounts of blood in my urine...but on the ultrasound everything looked ok.
It has been a nightmare ever since. The hospital dr sent me home with 6 percocet. 6. Said to follow up with my dr. Well, my dr coudn't see me, had to see his PA. He told her prior to my getting there not to prescribe me ANYTHING for pain. It was unreal. So my mom took me to an urgent care that day after work, got some vicodin and soma...then had an appt with my actual doctor...who i was SO mad at...but he said he stopped prescribing ANYONE any form of narcotic medication...and asked a different Dr int he office if they would be willing to given the circumstances...due to my suicide attempt, the dr was not willing to.....ugh. So he said I would just have to go tot he hospital. Well the hospital will give like, 20 pills at a time which lasts for 2-3 days. Then they say follow up with your PCP.
I have an appointment next Wednesday with a new MD...who hopefully can help...but we literally have been in and out of differnt ERs. It is awful
Then, my car...finally got a rental car through the other guys insurance on Friday...My car was not worth a whole lot...but it sounds like I may get more from it than anticipated. Hoepfully. Either way am probably going to have to use it as a down payment and now have a car loan.
Mike and I broke up...kindof...we still see each other just as much and talk every day. He is in therapy. I went out on a date with a different guy named Mike...whom I have been seeing a bit...he annoys me a lot though
He is 48...his house is trashed...he owns a small IT company/store...wants to have babies...has a 13 year old daughter who doesn't live with him. He is really nice to me..but smells different...doesn't seem to have his life together as much as I would hope a 48 year old would...No health insurance because he doesn't believe in it...no TVs in his house...no savings or credit cards...Got me gorgeous flowers after the accident..but bought them at the grocery store and had one of his employees deliver them to my work because he didn't want to pay for delivery...yeah. Just a little weird. I have no idea when I truly ovulated really this month, but did have sex with him twice around that time. Wouldn't that be crazy if I got pregnant. He was taking something called neem...which I guess is like male birth control...so who knows. It's unlikely.
I really miss my Mike
it has been hard. Have had to work every day despite the pain of course, since I have no more time off.
Haven't had the chance to get caught up on here yet...work has been so crazy with constant hail claims. Anyone get BFPs?
I love and miss you all!
