Stopping BCP to TTC***Updates & Progress/Noted Changes Since Stopping BCP***24BFPs***

[DannaD]

Ah Charlie that's not crazy! I don't see how anything that gives you hope could be bad or silly, and it's harmless to try!

My biggest problem right now mentally speaking is that I won't let myself hope at all, I'm so scared of it not working and leaving me more of a mess than I am now while keeping a pretty pessimistic approach to fertility treatments :'(

 

[Turtle0630]

Ah Charlie that's not crazy! I don't see how anything that gives you hope could be bad or silly, and it's harmless to try!

My biggest problem right now mentally speaking is that I won't let myself hope at all, I'm so scared of it not working and leaving me more of a mess than I am now while keeping a pretty pessimistic approach to fertility treatments :'(

This. Every single thing that Danna said!!! Anything that gives you hope can't be bad or silly, and it's completely harmless! I'm glad you've found something that gives you hope that you want to try!!!

And mentally speaking, I'm not hoping at all either anymore. I'm pretty pessimistic about it ever happening. But such in a way that it's oddly made me more relaxed and "whatever" about the whole thing. I think it's like a mental wall that I've put up, where like you said Danna, having hope will leave me as more of a mess when it doesn't happen, so instead I'm just convinced that it won't so then I'm not disappointed when it doesn't. However, I DO have hope for you Danna, and I'm SURE you're doctors will find the right dose of whatever you need to make it happen for you! See, it's back to having hope for each other even when we can't have it for ourselves! I have hope for ALL of you ladies!!!

 

[CrazyCharlie2]

Thanks ladies! And I have hope for you too. And one thing that I found that helps me stay positive is that I know it will happen, when is the question. And even though I've gone through a lot of heartache in this whole process, I've learned so much and in that I can be thankful. Of course it's taken me forever to get to this point and I'm still sad and upset and angry each cycle that I'm not pregnant. But I do revert back to my happy positive self after a day or so. 😘 we will get our little squishes. Each one of us.

 

[patienceiav]

Oh I think it's just fine Charlie i think beliefs of any kind are good for the soul, or not believing in anything if that makes you happy (I don't believe in anything but I am spiritual, more of a pagan if anything but I don't follow a specific path, pagans are more nature spirit lovers in my eyes, not some weird demon worshippers the old Christians made them out to be!) I've had plenty of sessions at my yoga class where I've had my hands on my belly and imagined a baby in there growing away, giving it warm white light and energy, I know it's happened on months with the chemicals, probably without too

Hubby and I had a long heart to heart yesterday, he upset me by blurring in a text before his appt how he hates all this for stuff and if we can't get it naturally he doesn't want to bother. :/ he knows too many people who have "given up" and gotten pregnant and believes that's all I need to do. I'm sure it helps not obsessing but I don't believe 7 chemicals are all down to stress or me testing early

We talked a lot and he keeps saying how much he wants a kid, I said why not just keep on with the Dr because whatever they chose is going to take forever anyway so we get our "give up" time and I'm sure nothing will happen, he says that's my problem that I'm negatively affecting it. I said bull cuz I'm normally so positive, which he also thinks is putting stress on me. I can't win can I? Either way he hates ivf and wants a natural conception but I said it's an evil means to an end and if he wants a kid then suck it up he says he just hopes it happens soon cuz he really wants one now. I could SCREAM! But everyone deals with ttc differently.

At least he's on board with going forward with the Dr and I'm happy to NTNP, no more tracking or testing just noting cd1 so I can keep track of that..

Wall of text! How is everyone else?

 

[Turtle0630]

Charlie, funny but I think I'm feeling just the opposite! I definitely don't feel like it'll happen most of the time at all. Yet for some reason that's making me not really get angry or upset (most of the time anyways) when AF arrives. It's like not being hopeful about it is making me not be as upset because I'm just expecting AF anyways. Funny the different ways we all seem to adopt to cope!

Patience, I'm sorry about your situation with DH. On top of all of the other reasons that TTC is stressful and hard, the fact that you're doing it with someone else so you have 2 sets of opinions, 2 sets of emotions, 2 people making decisions, etc makes it even harder. I'm glad that you guys were okay by the end of the talk though. Sometimes those are just really needed! How did his appt go yesterday btw?

 

[patienceiav]

His appt was literally just handing in samples and her telling him to tell me she'd sent off the thing to the hospital, instead of a week ago when I was there and she said she could get it away the same day! So they didn't talk about anything thankfully

 

[Turtle0630]

Oh good, Patience! At least that means she wasn't talking him out of what you were able to finally talk her into!

 

[DannaD]

Like Turtle I also don't believe it's going to halpen at all actually. I kind of convinced myself that I would not respond to fertility drugs, maybe not even injectables, sigh.
But I do think it's going to happen to all of you! I hope every month, it's just so hard to hope for myself anymore.

TTC is hard for sure... Luckily my SO just goes with whatever I ask him to do, haha... He is willling to go IVF if/when needs be, and I know he is actually more open to adoption than I am, but I'd feel like such a failure if I can't give him a child. Like, he didn't sign up for that when he chose me... he doesn't deserve that (silly self blaming, I know xP )

 

[CrazyCharlie2]

Lack of sleep is bad. Just saying.

 

[patienceiav]

What's up Charlie hun ?

I'm trying to be good this weekend with food, I had pizza on friday now i've stocked the fridge with salad stuff so I can be better at work next week ! Feeling rather bloated atm and i did a naughty and checked my cp, seems like i may not have ovulated yet after all i'm going to try not to check again ! I caught a bit of ewcm which is a miracle for me, funny enough right after i got pounced life is good

 

[Turtle0630]

Danna, funny you say that...DH was saying the same things and doing the same self blaming a few weeks ago when we were in a fight! He was saying it makes him feel like he should divorce me so I can be with someone who can give me a baby. Besides the fact that I have fertility issues too, it's not just him, I don't know who he thinks I'm going to be with to give me a baby! I was finally able to convince him that I married him for HIM and not for babies, and that any children we have are just an added bonus. I know he wouldn't really have divorced me, but it makes me sad that he's blaming himself so much.

Patience, I love hearing you say that life is good! Yay!

How was everyone's weekend? We're on our way back from a lovely weekend at the lake! It was perfect.

 

[rockstarlove9]

Hi all, I'm new to the forum and am looking forward to this journey along with everyone else! After lots of discussions, DH and I have just decided it's time to start TTC. I have been on low dose birth control pills for 11 years. I am currently mid-pack and want to finish the pack before quitting in hopes of not completely messing up my cycle. I have done a ton of looking online trying to find out what side effects I'll have when I stop taking the pills. I have unfortunately stumbled upon some horror scenarios where some women have had very irregular periods for several months, up to a year after quitting. I would like to start trying as soon as my next cycle is completed, but I'm worried about having very irregular periods. I'm looking for information on others experiences...how long until you got your first period after quitting, was it regular, irregular? and so on. Any insights would be greatly appreciated.

***For any newcomers, we've decided to continue this thread to post on how cycles are progressing, noted differences in flow, charting, symptom, spotting, you name it, we can talk about it. Please feel free to ask questions and hopefully someone will be able to pass it on. Also going to try to use this to help see how long it may take to get the Anyone that needs to be added, please let me know what cycle you were on when you got your BFP, your BCP if you know it and what your cycle ranges were (how many days each cycle was if you remembering or your shortest and longest cycle length). Thanks ladies and good luck to everyone!

BFPS:
Johnsa37-Cycle 1-
SoonToBePreg-Cycle 3 (BCP - Generic 28 day pill pack/CDs ranged from 30-41 days after stopping pills)
Wtbam: BCP-Dianette; 1st cycle TTC since quitting Dec '13 (CD100+, suspected hormonal imbalance due to PCOS, periods regular 30 day cycle before the pill), started progesterone, metformin, vitex and 3 weeks on GI diet and got on first O since quitting!!
Prachipie - BCP-ortho lo/reg ortho (and it's generics); 1st cycle TTC; took last BCP on 2/28/14; unsure about cycle length on 1st cycle trying!!
Lindsvancamp: on 6th cycle off bcp; taking bcomplex to lengthen LP
Wnt2beAMom- bcp: ortho tri-cyclen. quit bcp march 20th.
jessica176-was on microgynon 30 and first cycle off!!
Twinkie2: BCP-Kariva(generic of Mircette); TTC since quitting Dec. '13; avg cycle length 28 days 7th cycle!
mkerby16 yaz for 8 years, quit June 2014 in July!!
ms_lola: levlen 4-5years, quit May/June 2014, waiting to see what cycles will be like, July!
DentDoc16 quit bcp May/June 2014 July!
StephR-BCP - Leveln ED, stopped January 2014 after 9 years on it. in August!!
Mintastic- most recently on nuvaring for many years, patch before that, and nordette pill before that in August!! 3rd cycle off. Cycles ranged from 29-34 days and AF from 3-8days, late O and short lp.
curiousowl - BCP: Levora and Portia (generics of Nordette) - (TTC since Jan 2014) - 1st cycle anovulatory, 39 days, 2nd cycle was anovulatory, 70 days, ovulated on CD34 on cycle 3 cycle 5!
wantabean2- and expecting twins!
cdex67-on bcp for 6 years, several brands, most recently Orthotricyclen Lo on cycle 3!!!!!
Ms Elizabeth20 years on Orthocyclen (generic). Stopped 09/08/2014. October !!
MrsH-on Junel (with no period) for 7 years and stopped in September, 2nd cycle
LavenderLoveDepo Provera for 6 months, then went onto Nuvaring for almost 3 years. Got off it September, in December
Tui: femodene for 22 years! Stopped in Jan cycles became 24-28 days long, ovulated days 11-14. with a strong hb confirmed in December!!
Mamabunny 7th cycle
Charmed86 in February!

TTC:
bblues9- BCP Gildess Fe 1/20 (generic for Loestrine Fe 24); 22nd Mar last day of BCP; CD1 25th Mar.
lauraloo-came off BCP on 12th September after 7 years on Ovranette, average cycle length 25/26 days-1st cycle ttc
Iamamermaid-Althea ocp for 1year and 4months, stopped after finishing the pack mid February this year; typical cycle length 28 days
Stellaluna431-on bcp for 9 years, waiting to ttc until August 2014, but quit bcp January 2014
patience: microgynon 2002-2006, had a break, Yasmin from 2009-2012, generic pill from 2012- august 2013, ttc since Aug 2013.
Turtle0630 Recently on the generic for Portia bc for about 3 years, came off in June 2014. Been on bcp for 15 years, with a 1 year break about 9 years ago
ellielouise stopped microgyn in July 2014 and hoping for a bfp after laparoscopy & hysteroscopy

Hi would like to be added to the board... I was on the depo shot. I recieved the last shot on 7/1/14 and it ran out in october. My period came on for two months Dec and January and hasnt come back since the january cycle but i'm headed to the doctors in two days to see if i can get provera to jump start it. I hope to be added in and share good news of a bfp soon. thanks in advance.

 

[CrazyCharlie2]

I'm pooped ladies. Tilled and planted the garden today. I'm over 10k steps today which is awesome!! And I'm down a total of 8lbs! Of course I'm going to ruin that with Mexican food tonight. But I've been wanting it for weeks. Lol. Friday night I went to see Garth Brooks in concert. He was AMAZING seriously best. Concert. Ever. 😊 what's everyone else up to?

Turtle I'm sorry hubby is self blaming so much. I do the same thing. My hubby married his first wife who didn't want kids. They got divorced for other reasons (she was sleeping with her boss) and now I can't seem to get pregnant. Poor man is a saint and tells me we have plenty of time, but I'm over here like you married me and I can't give you babies and you deserve babies! Lol.

 

[CrazyCharlie2]

Welcome Rock star!

 

[patienceiav]

Ooh sounds like you had a fulfilling weekend Charlie

I think I've put all my weight back on in just a week from eating normally! I daren't weigh myself cuz I've been so bloated since this weekend, think I'll wait till I lose the boat I've been eating well but only gymmed once since I shook off the flu, going today!

 

[patienceiav]

I know the blame game very well I'm always sad at my hubby that it's my fault we don't have a kid yet, it's a hard fact to bear sometimes, it gets worse as the time goes on, like we could have had a baby 2 times over with the time we've been ttc, the torture of each chemical "we would have had a kid by now/be this much pregnant" it's a horrible burden but life is often unfair and it's easy to focus on what you don't have rather than what you do, I try to appreciate all the little things you don't normally think about

 

[twinkie2]

hi ladies still following hope everyone is doing well. I wanted to see if anyone wanted to take over the thread, I haven't been able to keep up with the main page board and I feel like I'm doing a disservice to all of you wonderful ladies. I plan to continue following all of your journeys but wondering if anyone is interested and keeping the Main page updated.

 

[Turtle0630]

Hi Rockstar, and welcome! How did your Dr's appt to jump start AF go?

Charlie, I'm sorry you've been the one self blaming. But if your DH is looking at it at all like I have been, he isn't blaming you at all and doesn't care! Yes, I want kids. But more than that, I want my husband. I would choose being with him over having kids any day if I had to make a choice. And besides, there's always adoption! I'm willing to bet your DH has the same views on it towards you as I have towards my DH.

Patience, I'm also sorry that you're self blaming! The same thing I said to Charlie though applies to you! I do find myself focusing more on the things I'm able to do now that I couldn't do if pregnant, or that we can do now that would be harder to do with a child. So much so, that sometimes it makes me think "this is all so great, am I SURE that I really want kids? Why do I want them again?!" But I do know that I do. Maybe I should focus on that just a *little* bit less...

Twinkie, I think everyone understands that completely! I don't think anyone can take over this thread though, right? I don't think we can edit or make changes to your original post. So we could either start a whole new thread in order to do that, or just continue in here without worrying about the front page, and just have it be a place to chat (which it has been anyways really!) I'm personally voting for just staying in here and not worrying about the front page any longer, but if everyone else wants to move I'm happy to do that to!

 

[twinkie2]

I think admin can change it actually...I'd have to do some looking, I'd love for everyone to continue using it, I just feel bad as I know I'm not keeping up well with new ladies joining

 

[patienceiav]

Exactly Turtle I want a baby with him, not just a baby! Ofcourse our hubbys feel the same, they're not interested in kids if it's not with us

So I got my letter through the post yesterday: "we have recieved your application for treatment, our drs will assess which treatment is best for you and get back to you, within 4-6 weeks" they'll not even meet us they'll just ask the other specialist who sent me to them for any info they need, weird right? Then we'll be sent a letter with which treatment they choose and actual wait times for it! It doesn't sound right does it but the specialist said we might benefit from "removing the eggs" something may have been lost in translation cuz we were speaking swedish. The leaflet we got only had ov simulation, IUI and ivf and I really don't need those two so let's hope we get an ivf wait list time in 6weeks!