Stopping BCP to TTC***Updates & Progress/Noted Changes Since Stopping BCP***24BFPs***

[CrazyCharlie2]

Sending you love patience 😘😘💜😍💜

 

[patienceiav]

I've cried and talked all weekend, it's a million little things, he seems set but I'll keep hoping he'll come round again thanks ladies

 

[cdex67]

Thinking of you and sending hugs patience♡

 

[Turtle0630]

Oh Patience, I'm so sorry!!! DH and I had a very similar conversation this weekend as well. He ultimately says that he'll do it though since that's what I want but that he's really not sure anymore; I told him I don't want to have a child with someone who doesn't WANT a child. That's not fair to anyone. I did tell him too though that I really think he's just scared and frustrated and stressed over the trying process, and that he's just giving up as a result, and as a result of how HARD it is. He said that very well might be the case. So for now, we're continuing on with the plan and he'll let me know if something changes.

Anyways, I'm sorry to hijack that and make it about ME, that wasn't my intentions. I just kind of have an inkling of what you're feeling right now. I really am very and truly sorry that you're going through this, and I very much hope that it's just the stress and frustration of this whole process and that he'll realize that and change his mind soon. In the meantime, hang in there! We're all here to listen when you need to vent.

 

[CrazyCharlie2]

How are you doing patience? I'm still keeping you in my thoughts.

And everyone else?

 

[patienceiav]

He just doesn't want kids, he thought he did but thinking about it gives him nothing, no joy no looking forward he has no longing. I've gone through every possible reason and he thinks us not being able to is a sign, he wasn't sad about the chemicals so that must count too, either way I can't change his mind. he can't promise he'll ever want kids in the future but if he does we won't be able 3 years time cuz he's gonna start an apprenticeship. i don't know how to get through this but I'm not leaving the man I love even if life just totally screwed me over, I have to accept I may never be a mum

 

[twinkie2]

Oh god my heart just breaks for you, I'm going something happens to change his mind, maybe it's just not right at this moment for him. People change their minds all the time turtle, I'm very sorry to hear you are having similar issues

 

[patienceiav]

It's heartbreaking but it's a small bit of everything, or doesn't matter what caused it just how he feels now, he's been very depressed and is great at being pessimistic or realistic as he calls it, I'm hoping once he cheers up and starts to enjoy life again he'll have more positivity to give to it

I'm just sorry I can't stick around, I love you girls so much but it's one thing to get af each month it's another to potentially never have a child, though hopefully we'll only have to wait a few more years

 

[CrazyCharlie2]

Patience, I'm hoping that things change for you. My DH told me for years that he did not want children. One day he changed his mind. Now he's really looking forward to having them and comes up with names all the time. Maybe he just had not gotten to that point yet. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and know we all love you. 😘😘

Turtle, I'm sorry you're going through a similar situation. Lits of love heading to you too! 😘😘

Danna, how are you doing??

AFM : just hanging out waiting. I get my blood drawn Friday to test for O. If I don't get pregnant this cycle then I dunno. I have a fear I O already and missed it. Of course I have this fear every cycle. But no + opk yet. But I didn't do one earlier than Saturday. Guess we shall see.

 

[Turtle0630]

Thanks, Twinkie and Charlie, I appreciate it! Don't worry about me though...I'm doing okay. We had a really good talk about it and no decisions have been made yet on our end. I wasn't trying to take the focus from Patience right now, really! She's the one that needs us right now!

Patience, I truly am sorry for all that you're going through right now. I am very sorry to see you go from our board and hope that you know that you're of course welcome to stick around with us! But I totally understand how that might be super hard so I don't blame you for wanting to go. Just know that we'll miss you and be thinking of you, and if you decide to come back and join us later, we'll be ready with open arms!

Danna, how did the IUI go? Eeek, I can't wait to hear if it worked!

Charlie, good luck!!! I hope your blood results come back great!

 

[DannaD]

I'm so sorry Patience, I really hope he'll change his mind. Maybe a break is exactly what he needs, TTC is so hard and stressful.

I hope you O soon Charlie! Or that you did O and caught it already! Hehe

Turtle you O'd already right? When would AF be late for you?

Sorry I didn't update about the IUI ladies! I actually read Patience's update on the IUI table and it made me too sad to post about it : (

The actual IUI was very fast and painless, lots of waiting around doing nothing before though. OH gave his sample fast (I was a bit worried hehe) and although his mobility is not great (30%) he has good count (92 milion per ml, and gave 2.5 ml). After the sperm "wash" there was 68 milion sperm per ml with 71% motility so that's plenty of swimmers.

What I'm worried about now is my temps, they are not rising well... I'm afraid I'm one of the rare persons for whom the trigger shot doesn't work. I always worry.... I was planning on temping only until I could confirm O but it's not happening! Of course I'm not stressed and sleep badly -.-

My docs are not doing cd21 progesterone tests, so I'll only lnow if it worked after I get AF, or a BFP. Either way, I'll be testing April 8th! Any earlier than that could give me false positives because of the trigger shot.

 

[CrazyCharlie2]

Omg Danna Sooo excited and have everything crossed for you!!! One of us needs a BFP!! I hope you get one!! 😘😘😘

 

[patienceiav]

I imagine it is like that every time Danna, I hear you need 20 mins after as well laying about! Good luck with your surprise IUI

I've gone from total despair to denial, I asked hubby if there was anything except me that gave him a warm dizzy feeling lately. No, except me (phew) so he's been miserable, we both need new and better paying jobs, preferably more money to not struggle with a kid, lots of stuff so we've both been pretty down, add ttc stress and bam, pretty sure we've both been depressed for a while now.

Now the game plan is fix new jobs, hopefully he can find a better job without doing a 3 year apprenticeship which would put ttc on hold till it ends, even if he changes his mind. I hope that having some joy in life again, not dreading going to work every day, will help us both, he can't guarantee it'll change his mind but can't say it won't. I'm happy to drop ivf and just NTNP till he snaps and wants us to fix that! Anything is better than this

Sorry I don't know where you girls are in your cycles, know I'm hoping for all of you as always

 

[CrazyCharlie2]

Oh patience, maybe that's what needs to happen. Yall need better jobs and more happiness before you bring a baby into your lives. I bet being happier and taking stress levels down will change his view and then you'll get pregnant without even having to try and it will be your sticky bean. 😘💜

 

[Turtle0630]

Patience, I agree with Charlie. I'm very hopeful that finding new jobs and lessening your stress will be just the thing your DH needs to make him decide he does want kids after all! So has he agreed to just NTNP? Or is he against that too?

Danna, how exciting!!!! I'm so glad to hear it went well. I have everything crossed for you!!!

 

[patienceiav]

Hi girls,

Sorry it feels like I'm hijacking the thread and now I feel like an idiot! We had another talk, and hubby admitted he's been second guessing his decision last weekend. He wants to give NTNP a try, basically we keep the drs out of this till he's done with his apprenticeship in 3 years but if it happens it happens. I obviously know roughly when ov is but I will definitely try to shut it all off and just be happy with life, this is honestly 100,000,000 times better than nothing for 3 years!

I still can't believe he changed his mind I keep feeling like he's gonna change it back, there's so much we've talked about its crazy. He was going to call the Dr office for me to cancel our ivf queue cuz I couldn't do it, and he admitted he thought about it all day but didn't go through with it so he's sure he is fine with if it happens it happens, but no more obsessing month after month and no potions and teas and no more testing! And no drs!

I'm on cloud 9! Going down to NTNP would have been unthinkable a week ago, now I'm just so glad to not need to think about the pill or anything! And maybe relaxing will help

 

[twinkie2]

Ntnp sounds amazing compared to nothing at all, so happy for you!

 

[DannaD]

That's amazing news Patience! And all that talking must be good for tour couple too, sometimes you need that : )
You're not hijacking the thread at all, let's be honest here we are down to 4 person who post regularly... this is getting an hangout thread xD

 

[DannaD]

Thanks for all the FX ladies!! I can't trust my temps because I'm waking up all the time, so I'll just wait it out, it's tough! Haha

 

[CrazyCharlie2]

Oh patience you've made my day! I'm so happy for you!!! I knew it just had to be stress talking!!! 😘😘😘😘😘