That OTHER 2 Week Wait!

[grandbleu]

AFM: Im on CD15 I've been having high temps since the last day of AF except yesterday as I had gotten up to use the loo a few hours before taking temp. I had a small amount of EWCM last night and have had period like cramps the past day and a half. At one point my FF chart said that I O'd on Dec 19, so don't know what to think now as it says that Im on CD15.

Hey Lisa -
Well you know how I'm doing so enough said...yep every 18 hours is a bit much and I think drove us to the insane argument of today...don't recommend it anymore obviously.

As for your chart (even if I can't TTC I can help you guys!). Hmmmm...I definitely think December 19th is too early for your O day if you are just coming off of your period it looks like on on the chart. It's possible but not likely. The reason FF thought maybe it was O day was because you had 3 high temps in a row...however now you had a fall again and have had a couple low temps...just keep BDing at least every other day and temping. I've had some highs and lows in other cycles but when you look at the overall pattern you will find your O day...FF will figure it out probably in a few days when you've properly Oed...good luck hon you can still catch that egg.

 

[LiSa2010]

hi grand, I am so so sorry!
TTC can be very addictive but we need to assure our OHs that it is not an obsession. I was having a similar argument with DH a few weeks ago and he practically told me that we need to get over the m/c before trying to conceive again but we spoke and let it all out and we compromised. You should talk to him and let him know exactly how you are feeling. I hope he was just letting some steam out and didn't mean the things he said. I agree with Shell, I am prety sure it is hard for him too, and that he is scared of TTC again.

good luck grand, you deserve to be happy.

lots of

 

[sparkle]

Grandbleu- I'm so sorry you and oh are finding it tough. My oh doesn't understand either, he's been telling me all christmas that I ought not to be upset. Vent here all you need, we are always here. You will be a mother and you are a mother, our angels make us so.

I'm here if you want to talk

 

[grandbleu]

Crio - could you do a girl a favor and lend me a ciggy?...I'm desperate for just a couple of puffs to calm the nerves. Too bad you can't "gift" me one over the internet. I think I may buy a pack tomorrow...I'm too stressed BLEH!

 

[sparkle]

Crio - could you do a girl a favor and lend me a ciggy?...I'm desperate for just a couple of puffs to calm the nerves. Too bad you can't "gift" me one over the internet. I think I may buy a pack tomorrow...I'm too stressed BLEH!

Oh god me too. I almost bought some at the petrol station yesterday.

 

[shelleney]

You will be a mother and you are a mother, our angels make us so.

This just made me cry.
Gosh, im so emotional at the moment.

 

[sparkle]

I'm sorry didn't mean to make you cry. It's really been hitting me recently. People keep asking if C is going to be an only child, I just want to shout at them.

 

[grandbleu]

Thank you so much Sparkle and Lisa - I'm feeling not so desperate anymore...OH is off in another room watching a movie solo tonight and well I'm obviously here. It's nice to know that other couples are finding post-M/C life a little daunting and hard. (nice that we're not alone...definitely not nice to be experiencing it).

Sparkle - Thanks for saying I'm a mom...I know nobody else views me that way not even my OH but I know that all of you guys and any woman that has lost a baby does. It helps to know that I'm a mom...and that I love my little one so much.

Lisa - me too...I'm hoping the stuff that was being said was "heat of the moment" stuff because I really can't give up TTC...I would be completely lost if I didn't have that...it's the only thing giving me hope and holding me together so I don't burst into tears every other second.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for not making me feel like a TTC freak.

 

[shelleney]

Sparkle - Dont be sorry.
I just dont really think of myself as a Mummy, coz I havent got a child. But you're right, I am a Mummy, coz I have Baby C in Heaven.

This month I have been an emotional wreck! At least we all have eachother
xx

 

[sparkle]

That's why we're all here for each other.

I love this place!! I'm still at the in laws, thank heavens for my iPhone!!!

 

[grandbleu]

I'm sorry didn't mean to make you cry. It's really been hitting me recently. People keep asking if C is going to be an only child, I just want to shout at them.

I can't believe people would ask that. Seriously the rudeness of some people astounds me. I guess you could always turn the tables and say, "C actually has a sibling..." Let's see if they like being put on the spot and being made to feel uncomfortable.

PS. Buy the ciggies (I'm so bad...don't if you think you will get addicted but if it's just a temporary thing to chill out and relax well I definitely won't be judging anyone)...I'm getting some tomorrow...I'm not a smoker at all but during stress or sadness I need just one for some reason it calms me and helps me think about life and gives me a bit a perspective...who knew one ciggy could do all that but it does and it's cheaper than therapy.

 

[grandbleu]

Group Hug anyone???

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Where's Crio and all the other OTWWers?? Just saying we miss you and hope you're doing well and BDing!

 

[sparkle]

I can't believe people would ask that. Seriously the rudeness of some people astounds me. I guess you could always turn the tables and say, "C actually has a sibling..." Let's see if they like being put on the spot and being made to feel uncomfortable.

PS. Buy the ciggies (I'm so bad...don't if you think you will get addicted but if it's just a temporary thing to chill out and relax well I definitely won't be judging anyone)...I'm getting some tomorrow...I'm not a smoker at all but during stress or sadness I need just one for some reason it calms me and helps me think about life and gives me a bit a perspective...who knew one ciggy could do all that but it does and it's cheaper than therapy.

Thanks darling, people just are rude, I've learnt that recently. The worst unfortunatly is my mil and there's no escaping her. She's Chinese so I forgive het a lot as a cultural thing but it's hard.

I may well buy some tomorrow. Goodness knows what oh will think I haven't smoked since I met him!!

 

[sparkle]

Absolutly! I was wondering that too. Hope you are all too busy!!

Group Hug anyone???

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Where's Crio and all the other OTWWers?? Just saying we miss you and hope you're doing well and BDing!

 

[Criosaidh]

Grandbleu - I'm so sorry you're having such a crappy time. I think the girls are right - you need to talk to him but make sure you get across how you're feeling love. I never criticise behind someone's back so feel free to show this to your OH: I think he's being pretty insensitive. A quiet nudge about feeling under pressure would have sufficed. I'm sure Christmas must be tough for him too but he needs to understand that for a lot of women once you've been an expectant mother you feel like you physically need an Earth baby to channel all that love and nurturing you built up when you were pregnant with your angel. It's all very well saying "get over it", but what I don't think he gets is that this isn't something that you ever fully get over, and that this, TTCing, is how a lot of us chose to move forward. Just my two pence babe but I hope it helps you. Seeing as I can't email you a smoke!

You never know Hun, what you said about the blood tinged EWCM - you might have gotten there already anyway.

My update- pretty sure I O'd on Boxing day. Had twingy pains in lower right side and EWCM with a little streak of blood in it. Have BD'd every night since the 24th - hope it's been enough! Come on Scottish magic, do your thing!

Had a massive row with my sister tonight - we fell out a little (well I got pissed off with her to be honest) when I came here for a holiday after my MC. We built a cairn ( a Scottish memorial made of stones - the chief mourners build it then anyone who wants to can add a stone) I took a picture of it and my sister, in a moment of spectacular arrogance and insensitivity, pompously informed me I was "doing it wrong". You're supposed to build it and walk away. Pretty sure there is no wrong way to mourn! She's turning into a bit of a selfish bitch since starting law school to be honest. I wouldn't mind but she's there on everyone elses fcking money! Mum pays for her halls, my gran bought her her laptop... Sorry, I'm just bitching now. But she was ordering my Mum about like a skivvy today and I just lost my rag.

Well ladies, as ever thank you for your kindness and understanding. Off to BD just in case!

Night night! X

 

[grandbleu]

Thanks Crio - I think I'll wait a day or two to show him your advice (until we are completely cooled down) but it was wonderful...wish you could have been our mediator last night. I'll take a rain check on that ciggy then!

I think Scotland will bring you luck (I'm a bit biased ) gosh I would just like us all (or at least some of us) to graduate this cycle.

PS. Sod's law I ovulated the day we argued and didn't have sex...do you think there's still a possibility that I might get pregnant even though we didn't DTD on O day???? You can be honest...I'd rather not hope at all if there's no chance. You can take a look at my chart (link below) to see when we BDed and stuff. I Oed yesterday December 27th (CD16) - FF hasn't picked it up yet because I need to have 3 high temps in a row but I know that I Oed because of my temp spike this morning.

 

[sparkle]

Grandbleu- it could still happen as the little swimmers can hang around for a while. How are you feeling this morning?

We attempted a bit of bding last night (on the bathroom floor tmi!!) but C woke up and started screaming midway through so we didn't finish. I think we'll be out for this cycle and I'm not sure what to do. I'm feeling like maybe I ought to stop thinking about it for a while. Take some time to concentrate on my boys and myself. This year has been so tough, I want to start next year thinking positively not worrying that we missed this cycle.

Thinking of you all girlies.

Crio- your sister sounds really selfish, it sounds like a perfect way to mourn your doodle x

 

[GreyGirl]

Sorry I've been MIA the last few days, we were with various family over Christmas and I didn't come on here so they couldn't trace my internet usage!

So sorry to hear about this grandbleu, I hope that you are still in with a chance even though didn't dtd on O day...if it helps, the first time I got pregnant I didn't dtd on O day and got pregnant, so there's a chance I really hope your OH was just saying that in the heat of the moment and not a permanent decision

I was getting frustrated over the weekend as no since Thursday and I'd even packed a jar (tmi maybe) to use for my opks over the weekend, they're getting darker, but no pure + yet...we had when home last night, so hopefully if I O today we'll have caught it, and if I get a + today then hopefully we can dtd every day and still catch the egg this month...fingers crossed!

 

[shelleney]

for a lot of women once you've been an expectant mother you feel like you physically need an Earth baby to channel all that love and nurturing you built up when you were pregnant with your angel. It's all very well saying "get over it", but what I don't think he gets is that this isn't something that you ever fully get over, and that this, TTCing, is how a lot of us chose to move forward.

Gosh, Crio!
You completely hit the nail on the head there! I have tried explaining it to my OH and friends before, but never found the right words. Thank you so much

Anyways, Love, Im sorry to here about your fight with your sister. She does sound quite insensitive. It sounds like a lovely tribute to your baby. I wish I had done something similar for mine. But on a positive note: it sounds like you must have caught that little eggy this month with all that impressive BDing! woohoo! Good luck for that BFP in a couple of weeks!

Sparkle Hun, Im so sorry you are struggling to BD this month. But its important that you have spent some quality time with your family over the holidays, and you can always try again next month. I know that doesnt sound very helpful, but im sure I'll still be in this thread next month, and we can try together then (without Christmas getting in the way)

Grandbleu: I hope you and your OH manage to sort things out today. As for you not BDing on O day, the little swimmers hang around for abit, and im sure they were still there waiting for the eggy when it arrived yesterday. Good luck!!

xx

 

[grandbleu]

Hey greygirl - nice to see you around...I figured most people were pretty busy with the holidays. Sorry no BD action over the weekend but like you said you haven't Oed yet so no biggy and you have this week to catch the egg.

Thanks for your hopeful story about not having sex on O day and still getting pregnant!

OH is much better and we made up...there is a lot of sadness and built up pressure around TTC and it just got to him especially over the holidays when we feel we don't have much to celebrate. I never expected TTC to be so hard emotionally and physically. I hope somehow this is making me a stronger person and us a stronger couple.

PS. Crio - your sister sounds selfish...yikes! You can mourn any way you want there are no rules. I would have wanted a picture as well.