Thank you,fngrscrossed!
I only let it bother me because i want my children to know their family. If i didnt care about that then they would be the past. But i didnt have a family growing up really, mother and father divorsed when i was 3. Mother was in the Navy so she worked all the time. I dont want that for my family. I wanted them to be able to see their family when ever they wanted. But i dont think they need them if these are the comments that i receive, IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN, i might add. I dont want my children thinking babies are a negitive thing. My oldest is now starting to make comments about how big her family is and that she doesnt like all the kids. I get comments from my mil that my oldest dont get attention(which by the way we live 6hrs away so she has no idea what goes on in my home) and that i cant give her what she needs. She doesnt need things. We do things as a family and i take her everywhere with me and leave the babies with daddy. If anything, i spend too much time with her. But that isnt enough, she means if i did not have so many kids my daughter(which they have no problem saying is their favorite)would have things that she wanted other than using money to buy diapers and extra food. I dont want her to think that having a big family is wrong, and to think that her family doesnt give her what she wants. I second hand store shop to get our needs, i buy what is there available and if there wasnt something for her she gets mad. I think they are trying to turn her against us, my husband thinks so too.
I think that spending time is the most important, of all things. A child doesn't need to get all the things they want. When that happens they can not fully appreciate the work involved in receiving the gift. If they don't have to work for things they grow up thiking that they should just be handed everything they want, and that everyone in the world should cater to what they want. I only have 3 for now, my children get what they need and have to earn the things they want, and I mean truly earn them. If grades aren't up to par, if bedrooms aren't kept tidy, if they misbehave frequently, then there goes your want out the window. I allow them to wave goodbye to it.
I grew up with 2 brothers, i went to private school, I needed for nothing. We stayed with my grandparents for a while and they had lots of money. They didn't indulge us like that. We didn't get everything we wanted. We got gifts for Christmas and on Birthdays. It made me for sure appreciate having to earn things. We didn't get an allowance for cleaning or grades. We were expected to make good grades and clean. We were told you live here, this is your house, you should want it to be clean and comfortable. We were also told, you are suppose to want to make good grades and pass, we don't pay for what you are suppose to be doing. It worked. I got a job at 16, I paid for my own school lunch, supplies, school fees, cap, gown, graduation pictures, and anything else I needed.
I know this is getting long, so I will shorten it and finish. There is nothing wrong with second hand shopping. If you didn't get anything for your daughter on a particular trip that, that's just that! She has no choice except to get over it. She doesn't "like" the other kids...hmm well I'd tell her that isn't your decision and that she liked them fine before she heard grandma talk about them so harshly. I wouldn't allow them to see my children if that's what it takes to get respect. It's not like you and DH need them anyway.
Hope your day is going lovely dear...
What a worry x
