The 'Big Fat Moan' Thread

[shalagirl]

We all deserve a good moan every now and then - this is great I want to have a moan too about how I can't even enjoy a good cuppa now. I have never been a great tea drinker 1 or 2 cups a day but with the fear that caffeine may affect ttc & staying pregnant I have switched to hearbal teas for a good while now. Even when I do have the odd cup of tea I can't enjoy the pleasure as I am too busy thinking about the caffeine I am putting into my body!! Ridiculous really but deserves a moan.

 

[Blue12]

Another thing that's been really getting to me lately is my job. I'm fed up and maternity leave is the only way out! I wouldn't be going back full time if i had a bambino but I can't leave as I have IVF to pay for.

I keep thinking about the whole lifestyle change that would happen if I got pg in that I would only go back part-time which would at least be bearable! But I've been waiting to do that for 2 and a half years now....

Mrs R - I feel very much the same. I do love my job - but I find the stress is more than I would like to live with on a daily basis. I always dreamed I would be a stay at home mom - and that is what DH always wanted too. Just like you said we could have afforded for me to stay home - but after we will have to spend who knows how much on who knows how many cycles - this dream may no longer be possible.

 

[BigFoot1980]

I guess I am a big moaner but can't resist. My friend is due to have a baby next month with out even really being TTC. And another one is 3 months pregnant. I have plenty of friends who haver two or three kids but the problem with these two is that they live really close by and are always coming over. All they can talk about is baby stuff in front of me. They both know about our problem and throw a little 'it will happen for you too' my way and then continue with their plans. They are both nice but as they have never gone through TTC let alone LTTC so they just can't understand my feelings.

Its really hard to avoid them and I really don't know what to do

 

[MarsMaiden]

I hate that I am putting my life on hold for something that never seems like it's going to happen. I would love to apply for a new job but wouldn't want to risk losing the maternity benefits I get where I am so feel trapped by the 'just in case'. We don't book holidays in case it clashes with possible treatments or appointments or because I wouldn't want to fly pregnant (fat chance!)

I haven't told my family that we are ttc because I couldn't stand all the pointed questions but I hate having to pretend that we don't want children yet just to keep them quiet.

And I hate the 2ww with a passion that I can't describe. After 2 years, I still gnaw at my fingernails every day, am totally unable to focus on anything else and drive myself mad symptom spotting and checking the internet to compare symptoms. The agony of waiting for the days to drag by hoping and praying that this is the month, using dates like b'days or xmas as reasons why this must be the month, and then crashing down when af arrives just to pick myself up and say OK then, *this* will really be the month like some masochistic idiot!

Well at least now I feel a little better, thanks for that!

 

[hopesforababy]

I want to thank all of you ladies for being on this board and for "listening" to me rant...

I HATE that I started my period today!! I hate that I just came from the grocery store and saw like 10,000 babies and toddlers. I hate that my SIL got pregnant her first try, even though they didn't think it was going to happen. I hate seeing her sonogram pictures on my MIL's refrigerator. I hate that now I have medical bills piling on top of my husband's cancer bills. I hate that I've been praying and going to church and feel like I am still getting the shaft. I hate when people complain that their children are getting on their nerves and that they are so expensive. I hate driving by a Babies-R-Us. I hate when people tell me that if I just relax and quit trying that it will happen. I hate that I can't get pregnant, but some crackhead can, even though she'll just abort her baby or throw it in a dumpster. I hate that I felt so hopeful during my TWW and that I feel so awful now.

But I LOVE that I can say this and that all of you understand. Thank you so much!

 

[Farie]

for you all

And I'm going to join in!

I'm fed up with planning and it not working out, I'm fed up with putting things on hold, I'm fed up with not quite ever getting my 'niche' in life ... damn it all I want is to be a mum, run a house etc. That is my career choice, so I wish people would bloody stop asking me what my career is ... and why I'm still in a dead end job.
I'm fed up with thinking 'next christmas/birthday/easter/anniversary/mothers day/fathers day (substitute which ever you wish at whatever time of year it is) we'll be sharing this with a little one of our own

Grrrrrrrrrrr
And breathe!

 

[Alchemist]

i hate that my only super power is managing to sniff out every preggy belly within a 5 km radius

 

[Mrs R]

i hate that my only super power is managing to sniff out every preggy belly within a 5 km radius

 

[Nathyrra]

Ooh cool thread!

I'll add mine

I'm fed up of having my self esteem shot to death through this malarky. Fed up of the only way of getting by is by being as pessimistic as humanly possible. This is the only way to keep my sanity sometimes!

And fed up with all..................... the .............................................................................. ............. waiting

for you girls

 

[Aphrodite]

What a perfect thread as Im due on and feel like I could kill something/one.

I HATE feeling like shit for 3 days when I have my period, it adds insult to injury. I hate my DH snoring like a grizzly bear every night and keeping me awake (hence the half 11 post lol). I hate waiting waiting WAITING for everything. I hate my pregnant friend telling me how much pregnancy sucks when she knows what we are going through to have a baby. I hate how no one understands what we're going through apart from all you girls on here. MarsMaiden I feel like my life is on hold too. Im a student, and I want to start my career. We live in a tiny shitty house because we cant afford anything else till I qualify. I hate living in this town, and I want to move so badly but we cant because of THE BLOODY IVF WE CANT EVEN MOVE!! Im upset I cant have a pet (a dog) which I know would help me enormously but DH isnt keen. And most of all I am fed up to the back teeth of not having any frigging money to do anything with.

I know most of this isnt to do with TTC but I just feel enormously fed up today and even cried at my novel when the girls Mum died.

Im really on a downer today as Im starting to think back to when we first got married and it was so fresh and wonderful and we had everything in front of us. Now I feel life has gone stale and I need a fresh start but I feel that we are stuck in a rut. Everyone I know seems to be buying houses and moving on with their careers wheras we seem to get more and more in debt and DH gets pay cut after pay cut and at the ages of nearly 27 and 30 we are still having to ask his Mum to borrow 20 quid to tick us over the weekend which is sad and pathetic all at once.

Oh dear....what a rant and Im feeling very sorry for myself now
P.S Sorry for the swearing

 

[Zipp]

Can I join In??!!

I'm fed up of having to sort EVERYTHING!!! I love my husband,and he is great, but I really feel he has given me no support in all of this, he has dragged his feet over his sperm sample, so now I have had to sort it all. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he expected me to produce the sperm for him too! He really seems to have an attitude especially since my bloods came back clear, its almost like he wanted me to have the problem.
Gah!!

I sooo could have said this myself.

I have had my bloods done and have told my not so DH that there is nothing else we can do until he gets his SA done. His only answer was and I quote "I have heard ladies taking about a private gyno who is supposed to be the best why don't you go to him?" I also get told off because I don't TALK about what needs to be done. I mean what's the point I have only told him about 50 million times what needs to be done.

Oh and to cap it all off beautifully I was asked on Christmas day to be Godparent for the fourth time. The ceremony was on Sunday and at the party afterwards every time my arms were empty I kept having more babies thrown into them.

I am fed up that people feel the need to ask if you have any children.
One of these days some poor person if they get me on the right day just might regret asking that.

to all of us

 

[Mrs R]

Oh I've got a good moan for today.

In my job I work with families and children who need support. Lately, when chatting with the mums, they've been saying things like 'you're not a mother so you wouldn't understand' and 'when you have children of your own you will know how it feels'.

Whatever.

 

[hopesforababy]

Oh I've got a good moan for today.

In my job I work with families and children who need support. Lately, when chatting with the mums, they've been saying things like 'you're not a mother so you wouldn't understand' and 'when you have children of your own you will know how it feels'.

Whatever.

I also work with families like this and get the same thing. Or when they ask if I have children and I say no, they look at me with those eyes that just wonder why I wouldn't want to have any.
And I also love when my co-workers complain about their kids or how they are so expensive. Whatever. I'm going to have the same expense some day, but the difference is that it's costing me a whole lot more than a couple of beers to get knocked up!!
Just shut the hell up!

 

[valoredei]

I have so much to moan about but I'm going to go out on a limb here for my own good (not to upset anyone, but maybe just to self soothe).

I love that I have someone that loves me.
I love that I was able to find out that I have endo/PCOS/hyperthyroid and that doctors will try to help me.
I love that my single friends look at me as having everything because I'm married and I love that my married friends with children reminisce with me about the days when they had free time and could throw caution to the wind (aka eat dinner out!)
I love that we each have our own trials and that no two situations are exactly alike but somehow we can find people to connect with and find support.
I love that I'm healthy enough to enjoy life and even have the chance to try and hope for a baby.
I love that as I'm hoping for a baby, there are children trying to find a parent, and maybe we might end up together and both of our dreams will come true.

 

[BigFoot1980]

I have so much to moan about but I'm going to go out on a limb here for my own good (not to upset anyone, but maybe just to self soothe).

I love that I have someone that loves me.
I love that I was able to find out that I have endo/PCOS/hyperthyroid and that doctors will try to help me.
I love that my single friends look at me as having everything because I'm married and I love that my married friends with children reminisce with me about the days when they had free time and could throw caution to the wind (aka eat dinner out!)
I love that we each have our own trials and that no two situations are exactly alike but somehow we can find people to connect with and find support.
I love that I'm healthy enough to enjoy life and even have the chance to try and hope for a baby.
I love that as I'm hoping for a baby, there are children trying to find a parent, and maybe we might end up together and both of our dreams will come true.

 

[rani36]

I hate that ive been trying for last 10yrs and keep getting my hopes up and have never ever seen a bfp in my life.

I hate that people have kids just by looking at each other,hate that my brother has 4 that he dosent bother much ,and friends etc keep telling me dont leave it to late.....people saying i should pray and really mean it when i ask god for a child....after 10 yrs i think i get the message....god isnt interested in my prayers ....i know i should be grateful for my health and life but having a kid isnt like am asking for millions in a lotto win although that would be nice....lol.

Basically im just fed up with life..all i want is just one..is that to much to ask for when god knows i would be a good responsible parent unlike so many i know....sometimes it pays to be bad...being good gets you nowhere has far as am concerned......the worse a human being you are the easier life is for you...

all the best ladies......

 

[Jasmine79]

I hate that when I was ov'ing last weekend, my dh was busy hanging out with the boys and watching football hence no baby dancing was done.
I hate that my own gyno is telling me to relax and it will happen
I hate that everywhere I look are pregnant women and cute babies.
I hate that people keep getting pregnant by accident, why don’t those accidents happen to me.
I hate that the first year with dh I was so caught up with birth control when I should have probably gone with the flow and nothing would have happened anyways.
I hate the my mil is insisting that I take in dh's daughter whom he had the audacity of having (with another woman) when we had just began dating
I hate feeling incomplete because I am not a mother

But I do love the support I get on BB
And I love my friend (who is also TTC-ing) and the fact that we support each other through what ever we are going through, be it misbehaving dh's, or irregular cycles

 

[Nyca]

Oh I want to moan too...hehehe...I currently am away from my DH on business and I miss him so much and it has only been 1 night. I talked to him this morning and he didn't sleep very good cause I wasn't there. That for some reason makes me feel better. I am in a little town where there is nothing to do. We currently are taking a short break from TTC because I have to travel for work but the worst part is all I think about is having a baby. When I am at home at least I can keep busy with other things, but here I have nothing but time to sit and think....it so sucks!!!!!

Ok I think that is my moan for the day
On a less bitter note, this forum has become a place for me that I can feel understood so I thank all you wonderful ladies

Nyca

 

[jodie4805]

I hate that I was due to go to a double babyshower yesterday & it somehow being relocated to my house & then AF starting that morning.