~~The May 2011 Roller Uppers~~

[hollyw79]

Dimples~ that is exciting to go the Dominican Republic!! 36-37 weeks feels like forever away for me I know it's really not though!

I Hope you start feeling better soon!!

 

[ZoMo]

Ooh Dimples, that holiday sounds fabulous!! Soooo very, very jealous!!

Holly, I am with you on things taking their time these days, the weeks seem to be dragging for me! I am feeling relatively ok and keep getting complimented that I look really well but it is starting to get more uncomfortable and this mixed with being so excited to meet her soon, it seems to slow everything to a crawl!

 

[sweet angel]

hey all,,jus dropping in to day HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....HOPE U ALL DOIN WELL...

 

[ZoMo]

Hi SweetAngel, hope you are well! Bet you are having much nicer weather to be preggers in than we are in the UK. Would kill to see some sunshine at the moment!

 

[Cornish]

I'd kill to be able to wear my maxi dresses as nothing else is comfy!
29 weeks today-whoop, getting near the end now!x

 

[dimplesmagee]

Hey Ladies!
How's everyone feeling? I've finally had 2 good days in a row! I think I did have a bug last week. Felt like crap for a good week! Joey hasn't been sleeping at night...it's taking him awhile to fall asleep and then he's waking up a few times a night, which makes this mommy tired. I don't even know why he's waking up! It's annoying. Speaking of being awake...it's almost 10:30pm. I would like to go to bed, but he's up playing in his room. Sigh.
Holly~I saw your bump pic in your journal! You look fabulous! You are the same size as me, I swear! And I've already gained 20lbs :/ Not too happy about that. I gained 40lbs with Joey...and well on my way to that again. I'm even more active this time! I'm not eating any different than normal...I sometimes wonder if I retain fluid. I keep thinking too that it won't be long and I can work at losing it all! Last time it took 5 months...my goal is that again, as summer will be right around the corner!
Anyone else feeling like their pregnancy is taking forever???
One other question...so, I work part-time (25-30 hrs. a week), and my husband normally puts in about 50 hours a week. I'm home two days a week...in which case I pick up around the house, clean, make dinner, take care of my 2-year old and the other "motherly" duties. Saturday and Sundays my OH and I are both home. I find myself getting SO frustrated with him b/c all my OH wants to do is watch football, relax, go hunting etc. A part of me feels like he should be helping me more around the house...he is willing to help, but I have to ask him to do EVERYTHING. I wish he would look around and offer to help, or see what needs to be done. I often time feel like a nag. Sometimes, I try hard not to be annoyed w/ him b/c he works hard throughout the week...but I constantly feel alone. He left Saturday at 6am to go Duck hunting...thought he'd be home at 1ish, but when I called he acted "innocent," and was like "we are just about to go out again, I'll be home by the time Joey goes to bed." Well, he got home a bit after Joey went to bed. Sunday was ALL football (he did do the laundry), and Monday he play volleyball, said he would be home around 11pm, but didn't get home till 12:30am b/c he went out w/ the guys for a beer. SOmetimes I feel like he takes advantage of "already being out." I guess I'm just wondering if I need to let some stuff go...b/c of how much he works, and I know he needs a break too...I don't know, I'm just trying to sort out feelings I guess and making sure it's not me. How often and how much do your OHs help around the house? Do I need to "let go" and "give" him these weekends to relax? Am I asking too much?

*sorry for the essay

 

[Cornish]

Dimples, yes pregnancy is lasting forever but also weirdly flying by! Know what you mean on the sleep thing, it's nearly 4.20am here and I've been awake since 3!
Regarding my oh, he is very lazy unless I bug him, then I get moaned at for nagging but stuff does get done. He tends to spend the weekend playing rugby one day and watching it on the other and I get very annoyed that he doesn't notice when things need to be done (the over flowing washing basket, the hungry in fed child etc). From chatting to holly and other ladies it appears to be a mainly male trait that you can either battle or let go! I suggested to oh that we make a list of important jobs around the house that need to bd done and kind of divy them out. Well he got rubbish, which he forgot this week, hoovering, which he has failed to do and a few others which are still waiting! He has good days but mainly bad ones when it comes to house things- I have to say I blame his mother a lot for it as he was never made to lift a finger, so my ds helps already and isprob more domesticated! I now tend to pick my battles, dont want to be a constant nag, but like a good moan!xxx

 

[Hanskiz]

Dimples - It's a man thing!!

My OH is willing to do stuff if I ask him (usually) but doesn't see what needs doing himself so I do always have to ask. He does have certain jobs within the daily routine - making lunches and doing the bins - which I NEVER do so that's great. He works 16 hours a week more than me so I accept that I have a bit more time although on the days when I'm at home I also have a toddler to look after. Mainly he is rubbish at housework and just doesn't see it but he will cook and do childcare so I think we even out overall, it just feels like I do everything because I do all the cleaning and tidying which makes up most of it. Ho hum.

It sounds like you could do with having time off, so maybe you could agree that he takes your LO out at the weekends for a couple of hours so you get a proper break, or that he stays in one evening with him so you can go out with friends. that way you both get some 'me' time and it's easier to let the rest go a bit!!

 

[sthorp1179]

My OH is a bit different he is being so protective of me he comes in from work and picks up the lions share of the chores. He does the laundry the bins the dishwasher an most nights will tidy round the living room and remove toys etc.

He knows how tired i am right now and i think wants me to b extra cautious with any household tasks.

We do do most of the other stuff together as a team! Another reason i love my dh!

 

[Cornish]

I'm jealous steph!

 

[WoodyA]

im also jealous!
even though dh has banned some activities he still calls me lazy when i want to nap or go to bed early!

 

[hollyw79]

Dimples~ I'm sorry about your DH.. honestly.. my DH does NOT do a lot around the house without pestering BUT he also doesn't go out and drink or take the weekend to do stuff only "he" wants to do per se.. that would PISS ME OFF if he was out all weekend and NOT contributing- I'd be SO resentful! My DH is usually spending the weekends with me or my son .. at least a good portion of the time. When he gets home from work in the evening~ he is on his computer a lot which pisses me off-- bc I feel like it's during THAT time that he could help out- even if just periodically. I DO think its normal for men to not do stuff around the house though... but at the same time~ you have every right to ask for help- it's a JOINT household!!! With you being pregnant though.. he SHOULD be stepping up more than normal to help out!!

 

[LWood]

My DH has been a huge help on everything but the nursery. I have to nag him to do anything in there. I got tired of nagging last weekend and decided to finish the touch ups on the ceiling. As soon as I set foot on the ladder, DH was in full work mode! LOL! We got a lot don't that night. So, maybe get on a ladder and see how fast your DH moves?

MY DH doesn't go out drinking but he is on the Xbox a lot. He hasn't slept in bed the past few nights because he's fallen asleep playing...

 

[dimplesmagee]

Thanks ladies. I guess I feel better knowing I'm not alone. I know it's a "man thing" but for some reason, it doesn't really get easier. But I agree, I'm trying to learn which battles to fight. Tonight, OH has gotten up a few times to put Joey back to bed, which is nice b/c I'm having trouble lifting him at 30lbs!

OH also doesn't show me a lot of affection...he was never that way, but for several months now I've been finding that I really need that from him. He used to kiss my forehead goodbye in the AM, and he stopped doing that. The other day he was so busy thinking about work, he didn't even say goodbye when I was upstairs getting ready for work myself. I guess I've just been feeling lonely lately, and distant from him...so all this "who does what" is additionally frustrating! I've told him numerous times that i need random hugs or kisses, I would like to hear him say "I love you" w/out me saying it first...and well I get no change. He stays up late, and I think it's important to go to bed at the same time, he doesn't feel that to be very important. I guess I've felt a bit defeated lately, so thank you for letting me vent. He's a good man. He works hard for Joey and I to provide for us...but we could have all the $ in the world and it wouldn't change the fact that I want to FEEL loved! I did tell him most of this today again, and he said we should have a date night soon...so I was happy he at least listened.

Steph, your husband sounds amazing!

LWood~glad you got stuff done the other day in the nursery! I think that freaks guys out and makes it a bit more real that a baby is on the way!

 

[ZoMo]

Dimples, sorry to hear you are struggling a bit with your man. I cannot complain at all about my man and housework, I am dreadful with housework and whilst the nesting instinct has helped somewhat with tidying, it hasnt really kicked in to cleaning yet! He is very good though and always does the washing up and I often come home to find that the 'tidy fairies' have visited (ie he has cleaned up and hoovered). There are things that I always do like the washing and cleaning the toilet but I cant say I do much compared to him.

We did go through 18 months or so of having a big problem of never spending time together. We work different shifts, both full time and he spent every waking moment he could with his son from another relationship (this is visiting every single day anytime outside of the child's bedtime) with no regard whatsoever for our relationship and cancelling any plans we made at no notice to spend any bonus time he could find with his child. I know he is a brilliant dad but I was constantly arguing that he isnt just a lodger in this house, he is supposed to be in a relationship and that takes work. I just felt like his landlady, there to see him when he had no other option in the late evenings. In the end I got a calendar and wrote on it, 2 days per month when we were both off work together that those days were OURS, 24 hours alone. I found I had to find us things to do to take up the time or if we were sat at home then he would find an excuse to go and get his son again. Eventually after a few months that started to work and now he still sees his son virtually everyday but actually also thinks on his own to book us time together instead of me nagging, screaming and insisting on it! This has improved the relationship no end.

 

[ZoMo]

I have been to the ante natal clinic this week. The gestational diabetes is negligible and well under control at the moment and they said that they propose going to full term at the moment rather than any inducing. This will obviously be set to change if the GD suddenly goes haywire at any time or if baby starts getting big, I have another growth scan on 10/1.

Baby is still breech at the moment, she has a few weeks left to try turning by herself. OH and I are not going to try a manual turn if she fails to turn by herself. We dont like the risks vs the odds of success and her flipping back to breech again anyway by herself. We would elect for a caesarian if she chooses not to turn by herself. Have been to the midwife today who went through lots of information with us and I feel much more informed about everything now

 

[hollyw79]

Thanks ladies. I guess I feel better knowing I'm not alone. I know it's a "man thing" but for some reason, it doesn't really get easier. But I agree, I'm trying to learn which battles to fight. Tonight, OH has gotten up a few times to put Joey back to bed, which is nice b/c I'm having trouble lifting him at 30lbs!

OH also doesn't show me a lot of affection...he was never that way, but for several months now I've been finding that I really need that from him. He used to kiss my forehead goodbye in the AM, and he stopped doing that. The other day he was so busy thinking about work, he didn't even say goodbye when I was upstairs getting ready for work myself. I guess I've just been feeling lonely lately, and distant from him...so all this "who does what" is additionally frustrating! I've told him numerous times that i need random hugs or kisses, I would like to hear him say "I love you" w/out me saying it first...and well I get no change. He stays up late, and I think it's important to go to bed at the same time, he doesn't feel that to be very important. I guess I've felt a bit defeated lately, so thank you for letting me vent. He's a good man. He works hard for Joey and I to provide for us...but we could have all the $ in the world and it wouldn't change the fact that I want to FEEL loved! I did tell him most of this today again, and he said we should have a date night soon...so I was happy he at least listened.

Steph, your husband sounds amazing!

LWood~glad you got stuff done the other day in the nursery! I think that freaks guys out and makes it a bit more real that a baby is on the way!

I definitely understand how you feel... and ESPECIALLY when you're pregnant. I can say .. for ME.. I feel SO much more vulnerable being pregnant honestly and need his affection and reassurance of his love now more than ever. I don't know why I feel this need.. but I've had to sit down and tell him how I'm feeling abnormally needy and really need him to understand that and to be there for me ~ and he's been great about it. Have you told your DH that?!?!

btw- I'm in TOTAL agreement about the going to bed together thing- at least the majority of nights. That was a BIG hot topic in our relationship when I first moved in with him.. and thankfully now~ he does it on his own.. but that's another thing we had to work through too!

I would suggest just talking to him out of a place of total sincerity!

 

[hollyw79]

I have been to the ante natal clinic this week. The gestational diabetes is negligible and well under control at the moment and they said that they propose going to full term at the moment rather than any inducing. This will obviously be set to change if the GD suddenly goes haywire at any time or if baby starts getting big, I have another growth scan on 10/1.

Baby is still breech at the moment, she has a few weeks left to try turning by herself. OH and I are not going to try a manual turn if she fails to turn by herself. We dont like the risks vs the odds of success and her flipping back to breech again anyway by herself. We would elect for a caesarian if she chooses not to turn by herself. Have been to the midwife today who went through lots of information with us and I feel much more informed about everything now

I wouldn't be worried- it's by 34 weeks that most babies turn.. you still have PLENTY of time!!!

 

[LittleBird]

Dimples, sorry for what you're dealing with. I don't have any advice really, just a "me too". DH isn't the most affectionate person anyway, but he's usually pretty distant when I'm pregnant. Although, I haven't really felt like pressing the issue, so we just do our thing. I can say that he does a lot to help me around the house and with the boys. But often he neglects things unless someone is coming over. Then it's a super fast cleanup.

 

[dimplesmagee]

Thanks Ladies,
My parents are in town and so we had a date night tonight...dinner and movie. It was nice. Didn't talk about anything heart-to-heart, just enjoyed the evening I guess. I can handle that.
I wonder what it is w/ some men and being distant with the pregnant ladies...are we THAT scary? Well, maybe.

ZoMo~hope that baby girl turns for you!!! Start talking to her and tell her who's boss here! Hehe. Glad, as of now, you can hopefully go naturally.

Off to bed. Thanks again ladies for the support!