The "never had a second line" Group: 93 members, 18 BFP's, 2 Angel's

[SockriTease]

I've never had a BFP, ever. In fact, I became so tired of testing because the constant BFNs over the years are so heartbreaking.

I am making moves in the right direction, so I'm hoping I get a BFP soon. Good luck ladies, x

 

[Tanzibar83]

scromfy - Yes I agree it's worse when people know you're TTC. No one knows with us, except you girls and I like it that way. Both hubby and I passed our driving tests last year and no one knew we were even having lessons which was a massive help, so we continued that fashion for baby making

Naneth.Estel - oh yes I sit and see the opk second line and wish it was a hpt instead - infact I tend to think that if my OPK is really dark for a couple of days before Ovulation then a hpt may also be just as dark a couple of days before AF is due. Or if I have a super faint OPK I wonder if I'll only get a super faint HPT on AF's due date (if that makes sense).

I have question for you girls? Do you any of you think you may be one of the lucky ones who will get their BFP way before AF is due (like 8dpo and it'll be mega dark too?) for me I reckon I'm not that lucky, I can imagine that 15dpo I'll test and it'll be super super super faint I'll need about 20 other opinions to believe it's there. Some girls who I've spoken to get dark bfp's really early though and I'd love it to be me too!

TNK - when you first start and friends around you get bfp's it's starts as jealousy right? but the longer you try and the harder it becomes and the more your friends say they're pregnant the jealous feeling just turns into something indescribable doesn't it? (it does for me) - it's like being struck by lightening, the odds are it won't happen again but then BAM it does and you just feel like you must have the worst luck in the world. Oh I was able to describe it after all!

Personally I can't be happy for my friends now, I have a couple who now have 2 kids and I can't bring myself to speak to them face to face, I know I'd end up crying when they go "so when are YOU going to have kids" - Like I'm a pyschic who automatically can pinpoint something so precise like that!!!

Hi Angel - Yes the second line does hide doesn't it, I hope it shows it face for us in our 2ww though

Allyson11 - have you tried taking your opk's at different times of the day? I originally tested around 3pm but nothing ever came from it then one day I thought to try at 5pm, then 8pm and the line was just mega dark. I found that has continued throughout my other cycles - I'm an evening OPK'er.

 

[Tanzibar83]

SockriTease (nice username by the way)

it's good you're making moves in the right direction - one thing that some of the girls on BnB do is avoid Gyn appointments or doctors as they're scared of finding something may be wrong with them but they don't realise that they just need to sit there and be in the frame of mind as "I need to go to find out how I can be proactive about TTC, ignoring it will only prolong it" - I think it's great you have that attitude

 

[ami1985]

Wow a lot more response since last night!


Ami1985 - when were you diagnosed with pcos - what triggered you going to get fertility testing?

!

I was diagnosed about 6 months ago, ive been TTC for 3 yr and never had a BFP so went to docs to see what on earth was happening with me xxx

 

[Tanzibar83]

hey ami1985 - I know it's probably what you didn't want to hear from the Gyn but at least you know what may be an issue for you TTC, what can you take\do to assist with conception?

How do you cope with the endless 1 lined hpt's?

 

[MackMomma8]

Hey I know exactly what you mean about the TWW thread. It's frustrating to see ppl with 2-3 kids getting upset... I mean I sort of understand but I think I would be happy with one baby... Just one little baby, that's not too much to ask for!

Thank you for helping me realize that maybe I'm not a crazy, obessed, jealous, vindictive, mean woman. DH and I have already decided we only want one child, and I know it's wrong, but sometimes I just want to scream at the woman who are TTC #2, 3, 4... "YOU HAVE ONE!! STOP WHINING!!! YOU HAVE EVERYTHING I WANT!!"

Whew, that feels better.

I think there have been a couple of times when I've thought there's been a second line - once I think it was an evap and once I think I just imagined it.

Does anyone else sometimes take an OPK and just imagines that it's a HPT and that the second line is really the line?

Yes. I've gone so far as to take that positive OPK and put it inside a FRER I destroyed last month. Those two dark lines just looked so pretty...

I'm loony, it's official.

How do you cope with the endless 1 lined hpt's?

See above.

I was naive enought to think that my clockwork 28 day cycles + being off BC for a year prior to TTC + the mad amounts of we had last month, most of it during fertile period = automatic first month trying . Imagine my devastation when the s kept coming.. and then AF showed up right on schedule. I started testing around 9dpo, because I just knew I was pregnant. I did everything right, right? No way the was gonna come my way!

Boy, was I dumb.

 

[Tanzibar83]

Hi MackMomma - how long have you been NTNP for? You should frame that OPK\HPT hybrid, obviously for creative reasons only - it's certainly not an achievement of your loopiness

I don't know about you ladies (well except you MackMomma cause you have said it above) but as soon as baby number 1 gets here there's no way in hell that I'm having a break before ttc no 2 get heres, these babies will be popping out one after another after another (I'd like at least 3, but then again I'd like to win the lotto, not work, the list goes on and on).

 

[Bunnikins]

aww, although i really feel for everyone in this thread - it does make me feel better knowing there are others in the same boat as me. Ive never seen a line.. only thouse stupid lines which is actually just the indentation line and i hold it up to the light and its see-through! im also glad others get annoyed with the TTCers who already have children/babies! I know its hard for them too, but just to get a pink line would be great. Id be so excited! i cant imagine how itd feel!! Im just reaching the end of another cycle, and although i told myself i would NOT test this month til AF was late.. of course i was testing from 6DPO, and nothing.. of course!

My fear is that there is something wrong with my husband... i wouldnt mind so much if it was me... i work in an obs/gyn clinic.. i know there are usually ways round it if its something wrong with the woman.. but the man? What if he just doesnt have ANY sperm?? Hes already said he could NEVER use a sperm donor cos he wants his own child... So thats a fear of mine definitely. I know the chances are low, but cant help thinking!>

Still, on the positive side, statistically, and biologically, the changes are stacked in all our favours that we WILL indeed get a BFP one day.. who knows when, but it WILL happen!

xxxxx

 

[TNK]

Tanzibar83

I could freaking hug you right now! You just said what I need to hear! OMG! Thank you! Thank you for understand its so hard to hear friends say their pregnant and especially when they listen to your story and then ask you to comment on their baby pictures on facebook!!!!!!!! UGH! That just happened to me this morning!!!!!

Its hard to explain the feeling...My heart feels like it has turned to stone and beats out of my chest, I feel like I am going to cry and puke at the same time, and all I want is for someone to understand what its like....The come and it devastates my world...

Good luck to everyone reading this! our day will come! I am hoping this is my month since I had my HSG on Sept 30th!

 

[Silly_SBC82]

This was a perfect thread for me to read today. This afternoon has me really down. We have been trying for 9 months and today I found out that ANOTHER friend is pregnant. I really can't count on one hand how many of my good friends have gotten pregnant since my DH and I began trying.

Sometimes I feel like maybe we are too stable. All of my friends getting pregnant are kind of flying by the seat of their pants and we are fully prepared for this and nothing....

I am thinking about trying to go see a new doctor soon as I don't feel that my doctor has given me any advice except relax. There is only so much relaxing that I can do......

 

[TNK]

MackMomma8- but sometimes I just want to scream at the woman who are TTC #2, 3, 4... "YOU HAVE ONE!! STOP WHINING!!! YOU HAVE EVERYTHING I WANT!!"

Your right on the nose with that one! I watch, read, listen, and try with everything in me not to scream at them! I don't want to be this way I just cant help myself!
Phew! God I am so VERY thankful I found this place!
What did I do without you guys?!?!?!?

 

[InHisHands]

Tanzi, I haven't had other tests done besides the blood and upcoming papsmear... we JUST STARTED To the infertility testing.

They said if hormones check out fine, and the pap does.. then they will do an ultrasound, if they don't see anything on that they willl do some other physical test for entro. So we will see.


Since im convinced i didn't ovulate this month... im drinking as much caffine as i want. I'm just waiting for AF to come, so i can start over.

 

[MackMomma8]

Tanzi, it's only been 1 month. I was just so sure, it would happen the first month. So many things were stacked in my favor, from the timing of BD to the EWCM I actually got this month (which never happens!) to the fact that my mom just LOOKED at my dad and fell preggers 3x, to my clockwork cycles etc etc etc... the odds were on my side, and it still didn't happen. I'm feeling defeated this month before I've even started, which is why I'm strictly NTNP this month. No OPKs, no temping, no checking CM, nothing. I refuse to get my hopes up like that again. Ignorance IS bliss.

TNK, I really thought I was just a mean lady. But we aren't mean, we just want our due.

 

[Scromfy]

This is a great thread... Bunnikins I agree that it's not a good thing to see so many people in the same position... I want everyone here to start getting their bfps! But it is a relief to know I am not alone on all the things that go through my mind all day every day. Bunnikins what you said has totally hit home for me. I have always been regular which isn't 100% predictive of ability to conceive but it makes me worried there could be something wrong with my hubby... He did have a surgery when he was younger and doesn't think that would have an effect because it was dealt with right away, but who knows. But i do wonder, what if? He probably would not want to use a donor either... Ugh I have to stop thinking about it!! On to a new cycle, maybe this month is the one...

 

[Tanzibar83]

Hey Bunnikins, I love your avatar

Sorry to hear you've not yet got your bfp but you sound really upbeat about the faith it will one day happen, whats the secret behind being positive?

Has your hubby taken any tests to check on his sperm count? how long have you been TTC for?

TNK - if I could find a good publisher I'd probably consider writing a book for those bfp women who just don't understand how hard it actually is for the rest of us (it would be an epic book and probably end up being right bitchy :S) I know some women would still see it as a jealous thing but until they're in our shoes they just won't understand, FACT! sometimes I even feel like replying that in some of the threads on BnB but I don't want to seem ignorant to their observations.

Hope the HSG works and more importantly I hope when you do get a bfp you'll be the only one in all your friends and colleagues who is pregnant then it'll feel even more special

(thats unless you'd like your friends to also fall preggers with you, I don't!)

Silly_SBC82 - your doctor sounds like he's the one who's doing the relaxing and not doing anything special for you, I think it wouldn't do any harm to go and get some second opinions at any rate.

How did you react to the pregnancy announcement? I hate to sound like a right horrible friend but since being told one of my friends was carrying her 2nd kid last december (when it should have been me) I avoided her, I didn't want to see her ever again and just burst into tears at the news. I went the whole 9 months without seeing her then accidentally bumped into her at a comedy gig when she only had 2 weeks left...I just wanted to run a mile in the opposite direction - how ridiculous does that make me? I sat there afterwards and said to hubby "it's a stressful thing for me to do, why should I put up with crap like that, I don't think I should even see her again until I'm in a better place (in other words got more kids than her)" - bah, the world is full of queue jumpers, but as I'm still in the queue I have to get to the front at some point right?

 

[alliebabyfeve]

This is a great thread! =) I have been trying for around 4 months and it still feels terrible to keep seeing a or AF come. I am having such a hard time with the symtom spotting. Totally guilty. Everyone keeps telling me to stop worrying about it and it'll happen but thats so hard. I hope we all get our soon!

 

[Tanzibar83]

InHisHands - I think you should treat yourself to whatever you want girl, I hope the testing goes well, xx

MackMomma8 - I think it's a good approach to have so early into your TTC story, I hope it does the trick for you.

And yes, we aren't mean at all, we just have opinions that may not please everyone. But as the old saying goes you can't please everyone.

Scromfy - why don't you try and get your hubby checked out so it'll put your minds at rest at any rate

 

[Scromfy]

Everyone,
I don't think it's crazy to be a little upset about the TTC #2, 3, people who complain. I think the reason for this thread and what all of us seem to be frustrated about is "why isn't it happening?" the biggest worry is never getting a baby... A thought I can't even imagine... probably all of us thought would be so easy and when we found out how hard it is, we are frustrated! Totally understandable.

 

[TNK]

Tanzibar83

That is a brilliant idea! Those women don't understand what its like for us! They have no idea what we go through every minute of every day!
I have to admit I am very lucky in the sense I moved away from my hometown and away from all my pregnant friends! I don't have to bump into them at the store..All I have to do is hide their updates on facebook and not answer their calls!
But then I have to sit there my DH's friends get pregnant for the 3rd time!!!! UGH!!!!
His colleagues at work asking about me and "when are you going to have baby"..
My sister in law had 2 kids and she wanted to have a 3rd so she tried and BOOM! for her and here I am with a

Also and this is a bit off topic, my mother in law is breeding her dog for the second time to get money for a trip and I said "God it would be pathetic if your dog gets pregnant before me!!!!!!"...LMAO! God I sound like a mess today! but I'm really in a good place with this cycle!

Oh and if you do write a book I'll be the first in in virtual line to buy one!

Good luck everyone~

 

[Silly_SBC82]

Hey Bunnikins, I love your avatar

Sorry to hear you've not yet got your bfp but you sound really upbeat about the faith it will one day happen, whats the secret behind being positive?

Has your hubby taken any tests to check on his sperm count? how long have you been TTC for?

TNK - if I could find a good publisher I'd probably consider writing a book for those bfp women who just don't understand how hard it actually is for the rest of us (it would be an epic book and probably end up being right bitchy :S) I know some women would still see it as a jealous thing but until they're in our shoes they just won't understand, FACT! sometimes I even feel like replying that in some of the threads on BnB but I don't want to seem ignorant to their observations.

Hope the HSG works and more importantly I hope when you do get a bfp you'll be the only one in all your friends and colleagues who is pregnant then it'll feel even more special

(thats unless you'd like your friends to also fall preggers with you, I don't!)

Silly_SBC82 - your doctor sounds like he's the one who's doing the relaxing and not doing anything special for you, I think it wouldn't do any harm to go and get some second opinions at any rate.

How did you react to the pregnancy announcement? I hate to sound like a right horrible friend but since being told one of my friends was carrying her 2nd kid last december (when it should have been me) I avoided her, I didn't want to see her ever again and just burst into tears at the news. I went the whole 9 months without seeing her then accidentally bumped into her at a comedy gig when she only had 2 weeks left...I just wanted to run a mile in the opposite direction - how ridiculous does that make me? I sat there afterwards and said to hubby "it's a stressful thing for me to do, why should I put up with crap like that, I don't think I should even see her again until I'm in a better place (in other words got more kids than her)" - bah, the world is full of queue jumpers, but as I'm still in the queue I have to get to the front at some point right?

You know honestly I was upset. I have been SO strong the past two months. My cousin and a good friend of mine who are both unmarried and just really unstable financially and in their relationships both ended up pregnant last month and for a little bit that was hard on me but then I got over it and I am happy for them. This one today was rough.....not to spill too much detail but this friend of mine just got married in July and has already had an affair on her husband. I try not to be too judgmental, but when I am sitting here wanting something SO bad and she gets pregnant right away, I am kind of left in a daze. It is really hard. I know I will still be friends with her and will get over it, but it hasn't been easy to get through this. I am a pretty positive person and just look at the good sides to all of this. It has really tested my marriage with my husband and I feel like we have become a lot closer by going through this. This is our journey.......and at the end of the day I know we have been strong enough to get through it together so far.

It really isn't easy though, but I just try to focus on the big picture in life and hope that some day I will look back on all of this and it will make perfect sense.