The Vasectomy Reversal Wives & Girlfriends Club. aka (VR WAGs)

[chattyB]

sapphire - I'm thinking of you a lot. I hope this week brings good news ... You know where I am if you need to chat Hun

 

[Waiting4vr]

Thank you so much Sapphire and Chatty!!! You have both made me feel soooooooo much better! I have been stressing non stop about all of this. It's nice to talk to someone that understands

 

[sapphire1]

I was stressing too Cat, especially when it transpired that DH could only have one side done - we only found that out on the day of the op. I had nothing to worry about though It is nice to find other people that understand - this thread was started after I was already pregnant, I only joined it when we started TTC VR baby #2.

Thanks Chatty

 

[tallybee]

Hi Cat! Welcome to the group! It's been a lifeline for me, as it's not easy to find people who understand otherwise. It's so liberating to be able to vent your stresses knowing others have had/are having similar experiences!

Lots of VRs can only be done on one side and are successful. Look at sapphire, already had a beautiful LO with her DH only reattached on 1 side!

Although I haven't gotten pregnant yet, my DH's SAs have shown it should be possible and he was only redone on 1 side too

So don't give up hope if that is the case for you too

Always about if anyone needs a vent!

xx

 

[cjones82]

Hi ladies, i havent been around much, and i have just popped in to say TTFN. got me today 2 days early so me and DH have decided to stop trying, its getting us both down building our hopes up each month to be gutted all the time, of course we are not going to prevent but we are just going to stop obsessing every month on when or if ovulation Will occur, i figure if its going to happen for us it Will if its not it won't. I wish all you lovely ladies all the luck in the world i hope each and every one of your dreams come true. Thank you to you all for your support and advice and one day i might be back.

 

[tallybee]

Hi ladies, i havent been around much, and i have just popped in to say TTFN. got me today 2 days early so me and DH have decided to stop trying, its getting us both down building our hopes up each month to be gutted all the time, of course we are not going to prevent but we are just going to stop obsessing every month on when or if ovulation Will occur, i figure if its going to happen for us it Will if its not it won't. I wish all you lovely ladies all the luck in the world i hope each and every one of your dreams come true. Thank you to you all for your support and advice and one day i might be back.

I am sorry it's gotten so upsetting for you guys

I just want to say that you are not alone in feeling this way, DH and I are the same (basically NTNP) as it was too stressful. I still love coming to this group though!

I've lost any faith I had in that 'when you stop trying so hard it'll happen' philosophy (not sure I had any to begin with tbh but it's not worked for us!!!) but any of us could still get lucky!

All the best with everything, remember we are still here if you need us! I am always about if you want to PM too

xx

 

[chattyB]

I'm sorry it's getting you down Hun . Hubby still thinks we're NTNP ... Ive been slightly more obsessive about things! However, I'm fast moving towards the NTNP mentality also. Let's face it, if we're DTD every few days, chances are, we'll eventually hit jackpot - after experiences of charting, peeing on sticks and checking cervical mucous ect, we all have a pretty good idea of when our "fertile time" is!

I'm taking a more relaxed approach this cycle (up until now that is!). I'm trying hard not to get too worked up about it. If only we could wish ourselves pregnant eh?? This is my first cycle without soy (I've used soy for the past 3 cycles)

GL ladies!

 

[ababytogether]

Hi Ladies

Know how you are feeling, I took a test today (9dpo) maybe too early I know, but I still think if it was positive it would have given me a small indication, instead I got a very definate BFN

Like you all I am getting down with wondering as to whether this is my month and am finding it harder and harder to not think about it, it will be a year in January and as my age creeps on so do my doubts

I had the approach at the beginning that it will happen if it is meant to but I admit defeat and have found it hard to stick to it

I always come on and read but I am going to stop doing the OPK's etc and if I miss my period then I may take a test!

Best of luck to each and everyone of you

I will still be here but just wont be knowing when I ovulate etc

xxxxx

 

[sapphire1]

CJ, I'm sorry the witch got you.

ababytogether, 9dpo is super early, there's plenty of time yet!

I totally understand how gutting it is to get bfns every month, TTC is so bloody stressful. I just try to remember that it can take perfectly healthy couples over a year to conceive, and they don't have the VR issue to contend with. I did a poll recently in BC, and although there are lots of people that conceived quickly, there are almost as many that took a lot longer.

We need to keep the faith, and believe it will happen one day. I know you might think it's easy for me to say as I've already got Holly, but I really do see her as a miracle baby, especially with what's going on at the moment.

to all you lovely ladies x x

 

[wannabeprego]

Hi, my name's Cat.. We have 4 children aged 13, 11, 5 and 3. Dh had a vasectomy 2 years ago and we have just booked in a vr on 11th Jan 2012!! Yesterday, the urologist said dh has a tender lump on epididymis which could be a blow out or a cyst. Hope it isn't a blowout or he will only be able to reattach one side.. I hope the vr works as it's such a lot of money to waste!
I am so nervous

Welcome to the group!!! Good luck with your upcoming VR!!! I hope your DH has lots of and that the reversal is a success...

https://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh126/izzybee22/KittyWelcome.gif

 

[wannabeprego]

@Cj, I am so sorry that the got you....

I have also decided to stop TTC for now and take a more laid back NTNP approach. At least until next year when we are ready to do the IUI. I can’t handle the emotional rollercoaster that happens every month anymore when I get my hopes up to only have them crushed by the month after month. I have fallen into a depression many months and cried a lot over TTC, so I can’t put myself through this anymore. It literally feels like someone is stomping on my heart and breaking it some months. I realized I need to relax about it more now from when my Mom visited me recently. When we were at these gardens and I was looking at all of the baby strollers and pregnant bellied moms walking around, I literally was holding back tears and was hurting so bad. I also had to lock myself in my bedroom to be alone so I could cry for a few hours well my mom was visiting so she wouldn’t see how upset I was when AF came. Going through this was a wakeup call for me, that feeling like this aren’t normal for me. I was trying to remember a time when I wasn’t worried about TTC and I was focused on other things in my life and I was happier.

So long story short, I couldn’t keep doing this to myself. As a result of 2 plus years of TTC I have developed a thicker skin and come to a place where I am alright with not having a baby right now. I try to refocus my energy on weight loss exercise and doing things that I enjoy. Keeping busy with other things. Also just focusing on the positives of not having a baby for now, little things like sleeping in late and being able to go out whenever I want. I also want to focus on saving up some money as well for IUI and other stuff that we need to take care of in the mean time. I also try to focus on the things in life that I am thankful for and the blessings that I do have in my life right now versus dwelling on what is missing. I have to do this to keep my sanity and so I don’t end up on antidepressants.

I am still going to make sure that DH and me have when I am ovulating just for the hell of it, but I am not going to test early and obsess over TTC like I have been the previous months before. I honestly think that if I was going to get pregnant naturaly than it would of happened by now. I dont want to lie to myself or try to fool myself anymore and I am accepting that DH and me need the help of a DR to get our BFP. I guess I am just trying to be realistic and honest with myself at this point in time.

 

[wannabeprego]

I also wanted to add that the friggen basement has water in it!!!! It isnt a ton of water, but it is in the center of the basement floor and on some of our work out equipment and stuff. We have never had any water in the basement since we have lived in this house which has been over a year now. And we even went through a hurricane with a ton of rain and we didnt get water in the basement than either. I think it is because DH had to fix the hot water heater the other day and he poured the water into the sump pump. Which he has done before and we didnt have this problem. It has rained alot the last few days as well. He did leave the hose in the sump pump well thing and was trying to get me to fix it on the phone with him well he is at work, but i dont know what the hell i am doing!!! I checked the circut breaker and the switches were all on. Please keep your fingers crossed that this is a problem that DH can fix easily on his own and wont cost us alot of $$ to fix, and that the flooding wont get worse. I am watching the sky now and hoping it isnt going to rain today before DH gets home from work and can take a look at it to try to fix it himself!!! Lordy!!!

 

[Waiting4vr]

Oh wannabe.. How annoying!!! Fingers crossed it all gets sorted out soon with a minimum of $$$ and effort!
Thanks to everyone for making me feel welcome I hope to get to know all of you better in the coming weeks/months...
I need some advice please! Should I tell my children that dad is going to have a vasectomy reversal? I don't really want to tell them as it may not work and don't want to get their hopes up etc.. But when dh comes home with sore balls they are going to know something is up! I was thinking I could tell them that he had a cyst removed or something? I really don't want to lie to them but also don't want to open a can of worms by telling them as we don't want them telling family and friends. We have decided to keep it to ourselves as I feel like it's worse when other people know if it doesn't end up working.. It would be easier for me to deal with if it's just dh and myself to be disappointed.
So what do you think? To tell or not to tell
Thanks in advance ladies!!!!

 

[sapphire1]

wannabe, I totally understand wanting to take a break from the whole TTC thing. I hope your basement gets sorted easily too!

I wasn't in that situation Waiting4vr, as I didn't have any children before Holly. Personally, I don't think I would have told children if I had them. We didn't tell anyone about the vr as I didn't want people to know about our TTC plans, and we didn't know if it would work or not. As you said, there's always the chance that they might accidentally let slip. The recovery is a little bit sore, DH took a week off work, and was limping when he went back. It could be explained away though.

 

[chattyB]

Waiting4vr - we told the kids that hubby had a bad back and might have to rest in bed for a few days! A month later, my stepdaughter found a wrapper for a clear blue monitor stick in the bin ... She told her mum, her mum called hubby and started ranting (a common situation) and we decided to tell the older 4 (aged 19,17,17,14) that dad had had a VR and we were thinking of having another baby. They were all happy for us! I've gradually introduced the idea to the younger two (9 and 11) - they have no clue about vasectomy or VRs so we explained about the possibility of having a baby without telling them about Vs and VRs.

The younger two occasionally ask when mums going to grow a baby but the older 4 are happy to wait for news without asking "when" ... But they've all got a list of favourite baby names ready apparently!

 

[chattyB]

Oh god wannabe! You're really not having much luck with the house recently!! I hope you manage to get it sorted easily Hun! How's the shower situation now?

 

[ababytogether]

Took a test this am 10DPO and again a very big BFN, think that I am definately out this month, cant help wondering though, no cramps at all this month still have WCM, normally I have a little pink/bloody mix of CM a week before I am due to get the witch but nothing, Tuesday is only 4 days away which is when she is due to appear, so no doubt my mind and body are playing tricks with me AGAIN, wish I could get the urge to not test especially when I am wanting it so much and it comes back with a NO, lol

Arrgggghhhhhhhh

 

[sapphire1]

10 dpo is still early ababytogether! If you look at the packet of a frer there is a big percentage of pregnant ladies that don't get their bfp until later on.

 

[tallybee]

:wave:

Yeah 10DPO is still early! Don't give up yet ababytogether! fx or you!

wannabe, I totally understand the pain and the progression away from doing ALL the TTC things, it's needed if we want to keep any sanity isn't it But it's not necessarily true that you need help to conceive just because you have been trying for so long, these things happen, the possibility is still there! We've all heard of couples who try for years and years and years and then conceive naturally without trying just as they've been approved to adopt or something!
Also I hope your house doesn't need too much hassle and cash to fix!

As for the question of what to tell the kids Waiting4vr, it's such a personal decision what you tell them. Like Chatty's younger ones, my 2 being even younger, too young to comprehend it really, we didn't say anything too specific as we felt it would be too much for them We threw in the question of how they would feel if they had a new baby brother or sister and left it at that really. Pretty much the same with my 2 step sons as well, though DH sat down with his older son separately as being a teenager he understands more.

Luckily I've never had any tests rumbled

But pretty much all the family know (well DH's anyway) as DH insisted on announcing it which resulted in MIL saying 'so you pregnant yet then?' whenever we saw her, thankfully she gave that up after a few months as it was getting to the point of rubbing salt in the wounds!

xxx

 

[chattyB]

10dpo is early Hun, Fxd that the 2nd line appears over the next few days. I HATE the 8dpo-12dpo period .... Constantly wondering and analysing symptoms and willing those tests to turn positive.

Sapphire - how are you chick? What time are you back in for the scan? Thinking of you

I'm cd9 today, hubby returns from the states this afternoon. Today is all about housework and getting my wardrobe organised (yawn), then it's off to get the horses sorted before the next band of rain and cold arrives!

Babydust ladies!!