The Vasectomy Reversal Wives & Girlfriends Club. aka (VR WAGs)

[tallybee]

:wave: Welcome Cat! Glad you've found the group. It's kept me sane!

All the best with the recovery and beyond

xx

AFM, not arrived, I do feel premenstrual though... I don't hold any hope this month lol.

How is everyone?

xx

 

[Heramys]

Hi, I'm very new here!!

I'm looking for advice as there seems to be a lot more people in the same boat as me which I really didn't imagine!!
My partner and I have been together for a year. We are both divorced and I have two boys. I am 26 and he is 35. He was married for 16years and had a son in 2004 who was born with cerebal palsy. Shortly afterwards his wife fell pregnant with another son who was born in 2006. It was decided very quickly that as their first child had very high needs and needed constant care that he would have a vasectomy to prevent any further children as the pregnancy had been accidental. This was given while their second son was just months old, they were both exhausted and their were no questions asked or counselling given, once the circumstances were explained, the op was performed within weeks. Very sadly, their first child passed away shortly before his 4th birthday. My partner has deeply regretted having the vasectomy, he was only 29 at the time and his situation was terribly stressful. He did not even think about the possibility of losing a child and we are now hoping it will be possible for us to start a family together.
I would be grateful to here of others experiences and any advice on whether this would be available on the NHS? We visited the GP recently who has referred my partner but we don't think the procedure if offered in our area....

so sorry to hear about his situation

To have the reversal done with better chances, it should be an experienced surgeon who does these procedures all the time. I'm not sure the surgeons at NHS are?
We used Dr. Harriss on the BMI, Nottingham the 16th of January this year. Staff and Dr. Harriss was wonderful. The SA is planned somewhere in April so we don't know the result yet. Live_in_hope has also used Dr. Harriss and they got pregnant after 3 months (if I remember correctly) and I think someone else here also has used him. We paid £1950.
https://www.yourvasectomyreversal.co.uk

Best of luck with your decision!
xx

 

[Heramys]

Hi Cat :wave:

 

[sapphire1]

Welcome MsMaw and Cat :wave:

Our surgeon was Dr Dawson in Hartlepool, we paid just under £3000, but he seems to have reduced his prices now. I have a post VR baby, and have gotten pregnant again subsequently (but MC) so I definitely recommend him!

Blimey, all our cycles seem to be crazy at the moment! FX the witch stays away Tally

I've had a right old week. DH is away at work and I got a phonecall from SD's school, to say she is suicidal and has been self harming I have taken her to the dr, and we are just waiting for her to be referred to the adolescent mental health team. DH is devastated. That was the same day the witch arrived, talk about a day from hell!

 

[Heramys]

Welcome MsMaw and Cat :wave:

Our surgeon was Dr Dawson in Hartlepool, we paid just under £3000, but he seems to have reduced his prices now. I have a post VR baby, and have gotten pregnant again subsequently (but MC) so I definitely recommend him!

Blimey, all our cycles seem to be crazy at the moment! FX the witch stays away Tally

I've had a right old week. DH is away at work and I got a phonecall from SD's school, to say she is suicidal and has been self harming I have taken her to the dr, and we are just waiting for her to be referred to the adolescent mental health team. DH is devastated. That was the same day the witch arrived, talk about a day from hell!

Oh - we were choosing between Dr Dawson and Dr Harriss

Bloody h - that's horrible news Sapphire!
Hope she will get the help she needs!

 

[chattyB]

We went with Dr Harris too! Highly recommended.

Tally - FXd the witch stays away!
Sapphire - So sorry to hear of your SD . I hope she's ok. Sorry the witch arrived.

AFM - I woke this morning at possibly 4dpo (if I'd actually Ovd) to pink coloured CM when I wiped. Trying not to think too much into it as a) if I did Ov, it was MEGA early and b) if the one time we managed to BD was successful - surely IB at 4dpo is way too early?

I'm ready to scrap this cycle already! Much too confusing for my tiny brain to fathom.

I'll keep you all posted anyhow - no doubt I'll be posting a "feel so stupid now, I've just Ovd on cd13" later this week lol.

 

[tallybee]

Thanks girls, bitchy came mid morning... lol.

Sapphire, I am sorry to hear about your SD I hope she gets the right help fast

Chatty, I hope these symptoms settle into something resembling normality for you

xx

 

[Heramys]

We went with Dr Harris too! Highly recommended.

Tally - FXd the witch stays away!
Sapphire - So sorry to hear of your SD . I hope she's ok. Sorry the witch arrived.

AFM - I woke this morning at possibly 4dpo (if I'd actually Ovd) to pink coloured CM when I wiped. Trying not to think too much into it as a) if I did Ov, it was MEGA early and b) if the one time we managed to BD was successful - surely IB at 4dpo is way too early?

I'm ready to scrap this cycle already! Much too confusing for my tiny brain to fathom.

I'll keep you all posted anyhow - no doubt I'll be posting a "feel so stupid now, I've just Ovd on cd13" later this week lol.

OH - Fingers X

by the way - everytime I try to look at your chart I'm only ending up staring at my own chart - very confusing

 

[Heramys]

Thanks girls, bitchy came mid morning... lol.

sorry that the witch got you

 

[nicoley]

At 8 dpo after hubby and I bs...i had a bit of spotting then at 13 dpo got my bfp...hope this is a good sign for you chatty...

 

[wannabeprego]

Hi girls,

Sorry I havent been around much, my new job has been keeping me super busy and when I do get home from work in the afternoons alot of the time I am too tired to post on here. I am trying to silently stalk and keep up with you lovely girls best as I can even though I dont always have time to comment.

A warm welcome to all of the new girls!!!

To be honest I dont hardly ever think about TTC at all much these days, I didnt use any OPKs at all this month. Even though me and DH did have during my fertile window, since I ususally OV pretty regular each month I kind of already know when I will be OV'ing for the most part. But until I am ready to do the surgery I think I am going to just focus on work and saving as much money as I can for my eventual surgery and IUI costs. I did have a crazy dream that I got this blazing dark pink BFP and I broke down and tested but of course I only saw a faint line, which I of course dont trust since I always have a tendency to get those annoying faint lines, I dont think it means anything at all though since it is early still and it was one of the crap dollar store tests.

Some how for now i have managed to shut off my desires to have a baby.. I think i just got tired of being depressed and the emotional strain that is involved with LTTC. For now I have somehow found a way to be alright with not having a baby. Work has been keeping me busy so it makes it alot easier to do than when I wasnt working and had more time on my hands to obsess. Plus for the most part I like my job and I am still in a learning phase so it keeps my mind busy. I have been successfully recruiting new hires and had several get hired on with the company and I have an upcoming interview scheduled for a potential new hire next week and some resumes and samples of work coming in as well hopefully this coming week. So things are rolling along really great, and I think my coworker and I will be able to reach our goal of getting 11 new hires on with the company by the end of the month.

I think I am doing a pretty good job and that I might just have a natural talent for recruting. I am feeling good about it because recruting was always an area of HR that I wanted to try working in and if I stay at this company for a few years and get some good recuriting work experience I can most likely move onto a bigger staffing agency that would pay even higher wages down the road. It is great work experience for my BA degree in the field of HR management as well. So I am finally feeling like things in my life are getting better than they have been in a really long time. Things have been very stressful for me and DH since we moved to the new state and house that we live in now for about 1 year and 8 plus months. I am glad to finally be feeling better about our finances and happier for the first time in a long time.

I am now somehow able to tolerate the endless pregnancy announcements and new born baby pics on my FB, and even my coworker's huge baby belly that I see every day doesnt even phase me anymore. Somehow I have accepted my situation for what it is for the time being, and by making sure I save up my $$ I will be preparing to jump back on the emotional roller coaster with the surgery and infertility treatments when I am ready to give a go all over again in the future.

I hope that all of you lovely girls are having a great weekend!! Good luck and baby dust to all of the girls that are in their 2WW right now waiting on the to arrive... Fingers crossed that the stays away!!!


https://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh126/izzybee22/2464246wtqey44u15.gif

 

[Heramys]

Wonderful news about your job!

I suppose a job helps you not think about it too much. I totally broke down in a nervous negative heap a month ago. Didn't want to go to school, couldn't force myself to study at home, just felt miserable. It did NOT help being at home, reading about baby making, success stories and non-success stories. Just made me over analyzing the situation. Now I'm trying to not to do that. It's working better but I still feel tendencies..

I hope this job will make you relax enough to gather your strength for your next step in your journey.

 

[wannabeprego]

Wonderful news about your job!

I suppose a job helps you not think about it too much. I totally broke down in a nervous negative heap a month ago. Didn't want to go to school, couldn't force myself to study at home, just felt miserable. It did NOT help being at home, reading about baby making, success stories and non-success stories. Just made me over analyzing the situation. Now I'm trying to not to do that. It's working better but I still feel tendencies..

I hope this job will make you relax enough to gather your strength for your next step in your journey.

Thanks Heramys... It took me TTC for over 2 years before I got to this place where I was some how okay with the cards I had been dealt and not having a baby "right now"... but it was hard, and I went through hell along the way. I am now preparing for the next step of our journey which will be surgery for me before we can do IUI, so I am just working and saving up as much money as I can in the meantime.

i can still feel the obsessing creeping up on me too... there is always that glimmer of hope in the 2WW.... but I am now trying to be realistic with myself so that when AF crashes the party I dont get all depressed and devastated like so many times before....

 

[sapphire1]

wannabe. I'm glad your job is going well, and you are able to take some focus away from TTC.

Tally, I'm sorry the witch got you.

FX that your crazy cycle is the one Chatty!

Heramys, I've been there too. I can't help but feel slightly ridiculous, as I've already been blessed with a VR baby.

I've decided to give up proper TTC and switch to NTNP, TTC is taking up all my energy and thoughts. There's so much going on at the mo, it needs to take a back seat.

 

[Msmaw]

Thanks for all the welcomes!!
It really is a huge relief to be able to talk about this to people who understand. I know my first two pregnancies with my ex husband were so simply done, literally 1st month of trying, so I am finding this quite hard! Im finding people elsewhere to be very judgemental in that we both already have children and should be thankful, and although we really really are, we really want a child together so this group is such a supportive thing to have at this point!!
I have spoken to a lady from vasectomyreversaluk, the surgeon there is john lemberger? anyone heard of him?? Its a clinic in Nottingham and is £2100 all in. they have a 4-6week waiting list.
I do live only a few miles from Hartlepool tho so am wondering if this would be a better option? how long have people usually had to wait after deciding where to go?

thanks again for all your lovely words xx

 

[Msmaw]

Just actually contacted the hartlepool clinic, Dr. Dawson! spoke to a lady who was really lovely, waiting list is not long at all and price is now £2495 all in, including samples etc!!
I am worried that this is going to become obsessional for me and im not sure how to stop that from happening.....
xx

 

[sapphire1]

Hehe, I'm afraid ttc is rather obsessional! Dr Dawson is a lovely bloke, and the other staff are great too. He has a great success rate as well

 

[littlelou6]

Thanks for all the welcomes!!
It really is a huge relief to be able to talk about this to people who understand. I know my first two pregnancies with my ex husband were so simply done, literally 1st month of trying, so I am finding this quite hard! Im finding people elsewhere to be very judgemental in that we both already have children and should be thankful, and although we really really are, we really want a child together so this group is such a supportive thing to have at this point!!
I have spoken to a lady from vasectomyreversaluk, the surgeon there is john lemberger? anyone heard of him?? Its a clinic in Nottingham and is £2100 all in. they have a 4-6week waiting list.
I do live only a few miles from Hartlepool tho so am wondering if this would be a better option? how long have people usually had to wait after deciding where to go?

thanks again for all your lovely words xx

Hi welcome to the group..... i dont normally post in here as my fiance's VR was unsuccessful but just wanted to say we had dr Lemberger, he was very nice but the aftercare wasn't great, i phoned and left messages with his secretary to say it wasn't successful and she said he would call back to talk about our next options or advice and we never heard back from him!! was quite hard to deal with at the time as we didn't have a clue as what would happen next etc, thank god for baby and bump otherwise i would still be none the wiser. Good luck in your journey x x

 

[tallybee]

Congrats Nicoley!

Wannabe I'm glad your new job is keeping you busy and is going well

Sapphire yea I think the obsessive stage gets us all for a while. It's so draining though

Msmaw, I don't think I can give any advice on not getting that obsessive thing, I certainly got it bad

I understand completely what you're saying about people judging and thinking we should be content with the family we already have. It happens a lot... One of many reasons this group is invaluable as we understand what each other are going through car more than most people could

You're doing right by researching surgeons before going ahead as the experience and success rates seem to vary a lot. Like Lou we found aftercare lacking, they seemed to lose interest once they had our money...

everyone xx

 

[nicoley]

Ty tallybee