The Vasectomy Reversal Wives & Girlfriends Club. aka (VR WAGs)

[ElmoBumpToBe]

Happy anniversary!
I have every hope for you to be pregnant by xmas, I'm also hoping to get our money saved by then. I just have this idea that when it comes to it they will find there is something wrong with me that means we can't have treatment or I can't be an egg donar. We have 550 now I keep wondering if we should start the process now and pay the rest as we go, that way the money can't get spent on anything else? X

 

[CMo]

Hi ladies

I've not posted on this thread for a couple of years, but have been popping in to see how everyone is and thought i'd comment now that a few people are thinking about fertility treatment.

My DH is a bit older than me and had his vr back in 2011 about 20 years post vas. We knew our chances were really slim but thought it was worth a go. Unfortunately we were told sa was zero so op was a fail. We were totally gutted but went onto to get married and buy a new house before finally having enough saved to start icsi in jan year. We have been so lucky and we were sucessful first time and I'm now almost 13 weeks pregnant. What really shocked us was DH actually ended up having decent numbers in his sperm sample so he was able to freeze some and use a fresh sample on the day which saved any surgery for him to retreive sperm.

Just wanted to give you all hope that it can and does work and it's nowhere near as traumatic as I thought it would be. If I can help you in anyway with any info please let me know.

Please also think carefully about egg sharing. I looked into it but my clinic didn't offer it so would've meant travelling over an hour for appointments to another clinic. I assumed with my age I would get lots of eggs as technically I was fit and well. But i only got 8 eggs, 4 of which fertilised, 1 was implanted, 1 made it to freeze but the other 2 never grew. If I had given up half my eggs I could well have given away my 2 best ones and been faced with paying and going through another full cycle. I thought it was a great idea at the time but glad I never done it even though it did add extra time on to saving for treatment.

Sorry for the long post but just wanted to give u all hope that there is life after a vr

Claire xx

 

[ElmoBumpToBe]

Firstly HUGE HUGE congratulations on finally getting your bfp! You must be over the moon!!!!
About the egg sharing, I was told that the donars pregnancy is priority and that even if it ends up that you haven't enough eggs to donate (I believe the minimum produced needs to be 8 to donate) then the eggs will in this even only be used by the donar and still at the reduced price? X

 

[CMo]

Thanks. We're delighted. It's been a long 4 years with a lot of tears to get to here. Every AF used to rip my heart out. But it's been well worth the journey to get to this point.

When I looked into egg sharing it was a minimum of 8 eggs, half to you and half donated. If you got less than 8 you could donate them all and do another cycle for yourself, or keep them all and pay the extra cost ie full treatment price. I was really shocked as I thought I'd produce lots of eggs (I'm only 33 with good egg reserve) but the process was longer than I thought. I was initially slow to respond to stimms then a few follicles had a growth spurt so on the day they were too mature to use. I had it in my head that I would get between 15 & 20 eggs but as I said only 8 and only half of those fertilised. The good thing is I have one frozen embryo left so hopefully that's our second baby waiting for us.

 

[ElmoBumpToBe]

Well, have come to tell you that I think this is it for me. End of the road already. Wanting another baby despite the children we are lucky enough to have has taken over my life, it's all I think about , it's the only thing that I want and I'm not sure how I will ever get over feeling this way, however, I just don't think hubby feels the same. He is willing to go along with it all for my sake but it doesn't help how lonely I feel, I really feel that if your going to go down the route of treatment then you both really need to want this together so bad and he just doesn't. After all that is why he got the snip in the first place he had decided that HE did not want anymore children. I can't carry on like this feeling by myself, I'm so depressed. Its insane how strong these feelings are I feel bereft I just can't see anything else. Obviously I wish he never had the snip but second to that I wish he hadn't had it reversed its caused so much heartache.
I still hold out hope for a natural miracle but I know how unlikely that is. We wont be having treatment though.
I will pop back from time to time to see how you are doing I don't think I will be able to help myself and I wish you all so much joy in your journeys, but I need some time out x

 

[live_in_hope]

hey ladies! :wave: hey Cmo :wave: congratulations on your bfp! Thats brilliant news! xxxx
Thank you for sharing info on egg sharing, very interesting....i hope we dont need to look into it after our second vr......well hubby said this is it....there would be no way we could afford anything else after this vr......

Elmo, how long did you have to wait to hear back from the bmi card? I posted it last friday 1st class, so assuming they got it saturday....its been a week and i read that they usually accept within 48hours of receipt of application, hoping it doenst mean we wont get it

We had a great anniversary thank you, Take That were amazing! What a performance! Truly amazing! Finished work yesterday for half term, cant wait to spend some time with my baby xxxxxx

 

[live_in_hope]

huess what came in the post about an hour after my last post....a letter from 'bmi healthcare'....we have been declined for the card i have no idea why. I did it in my name as my credit score is great. Seans isnt but that soesnt usually matter. I don't understand... We have just moved house though, maybe thats why??? so i will be asking my dad and will do so when he gets back as he is away until tuesday evening. Im 99% sure he'd be able to do it for us.....if not then i have no idea what we'd do.....grrrrrr

Hope you're all having a great weekend. I went out last night, my hubby plays in a rock band and they had a farewell gig before they leave to tour the isle of man for the TT races. I had a bit too much pop and feeling rather worse for wear today lol xx.

 

[rachy28]

Sorry you didn't get the card, once married your credit scores are linked so maybe that could be the reason for refusal. I hope your dad can get it for you.

Im feeling a little guilty atm. I told you all a while ago that my sister in law decided she wanted a baby just because we were trying. She had her implant out in February last year and was pregnant by August. She balled her eyes out every time af showed which angered me so much. When i found out she was pregnant, I didn't congratulate her i just cried. Then i kept saying to alan "i hope its a boy & bloody ginger" purely because she was desperate for a girl after 5 boys. At her 20wk scan she was told she was having a girl (que me crying because some ppl just dont deserve to get what they want all the time).
Anyway, she had her baby in late April and it turned out she was in fact a he! And yes....you guessed it....ginger!!!!!

I feel like I cursed them, perhaps im cursing ourselves by not having confidence in dh's swimmers. Maybe its just karma, who knows? Maybe she did get what she deserved for having a baby for all the wrong reasons? Maybe im just bitter because she has what we so desperately want.

I really do hope all you lovely ladies dreams come true xx

 

[maidenkates]

Hello!
My DH had a hernia surgery last Year and it gave him an accidental vasectomy, he is due for a reversal next month. My question is, does anybody know how long it takes a man to develop antisperm antibodies?

 

[live_in_hope]

Sorry you didn't get the card, once married your credit scores are linked so maybe that could be the reason for refusal. I hope your dad can get it for you.

Im feeling a little guilty atm. I told you all a while ago that my sister in law decided she wanted a baby just because we were trying. She had her implant out in February last year and was pregnant by August. She balled her eyes out every time af showed which angered me so much. When i found out she was pregnant, I didn't congratulate her i just cried. Then i kept saying to alan "i hope its a boy & bloody ginger" purely because she was desperate for a girl after 5 boys. At her 20wk scan she was told she was having a girl (que me crying because some ppl just dont deserve to get what they want all the time).
Anyway, she had her baby in late April and it turned out she was in fact a he! And yes....you guessed it....ginger!!!!!

I feel like I cursed them, perhaps im cursing ourselves by not having confidence in dh's swimmers. Maybe its just karma, who knows? Maybe she did get what she deserved for having a baby for all the wrong reasons? Maybe im just bitter because she has what we so desperately want.

I really do hope all you lovely ladies dreams come true xx

hey rachy, awww no way! How bizzarr! Dont frel guilty though, some people always do get everything they want....i work in a school in a challenging and deprived area and the amount of families that have 8,9,10 children, which is fine if they looked after them......but they dont breaks my heart.... Id do anything for one more and it would be my absolute world alongside its big sister Emily xxxxx one day......

Hello!
My DH had a hernia surgery last Year and it gave him an accidental vasectomy, he is due for a reversal next month. My question is, does anybody know how long it takes a man to develop antisperm antibodies?

omg an accidental vasectomy! i hope they are paying for the vr!! Im very sorry i dont know really, rachy? xxxx
Wishing you the best of luck and with it being reversed quite soon after the 'vasectomy' you should stand quite a good chance of success xxxx wishing you the best of luck xxx

 

[rachy28]

Thanks Vickie xx
Hi maidenkates,
AsAb's tend to be present in alk men who've undergone a vasectomy although titers can vary quite considerably. Some may have a small percentage whilst others like my dh, can have upto 100%. As soon as the sperms are introduced to the blood, antibodies develop.
Im sorry your having to go through this and i hope the reversal is being offered free as some sort of compensation. If you struggle to conceive following the vr, I would fight for free ivf xx

 

[rachy28]

So, this month, dh and I have decided to give this ttc malarkey one final shot before beginning our ivf journey. It probably won't work but I just feel we should at least try the one thing we haven't with these damn AsAb's!
We're going to dtd twice daily until after confirmed ovulation in the hope of reducing the antibody level. Temping starts tomorrow! Xxx

 

[ElmoBumpToBe]

Hi, just called in to see how you are. I said in my last post we have called it a day but nobody replied to my post. I think that's a good idea rachy you have nothing to loose before you start treatment x

 

[rachy28]

Sorry elmo, must have missed it. Sorry your feeling like that. I completely understand why you've taken that decision, we too stopped actively ttc after 12 months but I do secretly hold out hope every cycle just incase we get lucky. I don't think the idea of natural pregnancy leaves the back of your mind.

Some days i physically can't manage dtd 2 times a day so dh will be "manually" pipe cleaning on the morning of those days. He's a good'un

Elmo, please do pop in from time to time & let us know how you are xx

 

[live_in_hope]

elmo im so sorry! i cant understand why i missed it too! I feel awful! Im so sorry that you have had to make that decision, but I totally understand why....i was getting there myself with ttc before we found out why....who knows, it still maybe the end of the road for us too.... I do hope that you Are ok, it wouldnt have been an easy decision to make i know....please do pop in when you can and we will all keep everything crossed that you get your natural pregnancy xxxx xxxxx

Rachy, so pleased to hear that dh is willing to do that! After our first vr, we were told to dtd as much as poss and obviously i didnt always feel like it so hubby did it himself everyday then with me when we wanted to. Id like to think that helped in getting pref so quickly......we will dtry and do things exactly the same as after last time.....if we get the go ahead.....afew more days, by friday i reckon we will hear....fx! Xx.

 

[rachy28]

Good luck hun, i really hope you get sorted. I reckon you'll be pregnant in no time

Im exhausted Im doing my best but i really wanna say please let me sleep, problem is, im certain im ovulating today so we cant stop now! Once i get a rise, we'll dtd once a day until 3dpo then i will rest, i actually can't wait x

 

[live_in_hope]

hehe yay for oving rachy! Sounds like your getting a good run at it this month xxxx i really hope that this is it for you! Xxxxxxx

 

[ElmoBumpToBe]

I will always call back in ladies, I know that eventually I am going to see some bfp announcements from you

I'm feeling ok at the minute I had a devastating few days as the realisation sunk in, but to be honest we have so so much going on with our middle ds who has learning disabilities and my eldest who isn't in school so amidst school appeals and senco meetings I am able to tell myself that we wouldn't have been able to cope with a little miracle at the moment xxx

 

[live_in_hope]

Hey elmo! Aw hun, im sorry you're having s tough time with everything at the moment! I do hope that things get easier for you soon! Xx

Ive got some good news! My dad got accepted and we got the bmi card!!! So ive booked the vr for 21st september! The day after our vr miracle babys 4th birthday xxxx

 

[rachy28]

This IS going to work for you, I can feel it in my waters

Well, I can do no more this month, ovulation has been confirmed so now we wait
im going to tonight! xx