Things I cannot say out loud....

[15.11.10]

Exactly! There is a reason her own daughter lives 220 miles away and hasnt yet left her baby with her! Xxx

 

[Babushka99]

Well William is 7 months so maybe its time!!!! X

oh gosh yes deffo time! before you know it she will be asking to have him for the weekend and taking him on holiday because he is 'old enough' and telling you he should be in nursery! instead of just letting you get on with our parenting xx

Well apparently MIL is taking my daughter to Lapland to see santa when she is 4 and because it is so expensive me and oh can't go... over my dead body!! & also I should send my daughter to nursery, she is moving from the other side of london 1.5 hrs away to live 10 mins away (stalker?) and she can look after lo whilst I work... tbh I'd rather pay a childminder and be broke or just live on benefits to avoid that happening.

 

[CandyApple19]

LOLLLLL well good
SO heres my ramble..(sorry if it seems harsh but you have NO idea how much this man has put us through)

NO i won't let you hold him because you feel all sentimental due to the fact you've been drinking, also you smell like a bloody ashtray, your fingernails are dirty and you're basically a scruff, you treated your sons like absolute shite but you'll be better to your grandkids? Oh wait, now theres a new baby you've lost interest in your first grandchild, what gives? PRICK.

 

[JaneyScot]

heres mine...

To my friend;

Yes my baby was slightly on the big side at birth being 9lb 10 but please stop referring to him as 'The Giant Baby', my gorgeous boy has a name and you make him sound like he belongs in the circus. Considering LOs dad is 6ft 4 its not so surprising hes long.

To my mum;

When im visitng please dont put uncooked meat in the fridge touching the newly made up and cleaned and sterilised to within an inch of their lives bottles for my 6 week old. Its the equivalent of letting him gnaw on a raw chicken wing.

I love them both but honestly pfff...

 

[chichestermum]

Well William is 7 months so maybe its time!!!! X

oh gosh yes deffo time! before you know it she will be asking to have him for the weekend and taking him on holiday because he is 'old enough' and telling you he should be in nursery! instead of just letting you get on with our parenting xx

Well apparently MIL is taking my daughter to Lapland to see santa when she is 4 and because it is so expensive me and oh can't go... over my dead body!! & also I should send my daughter to nursery, she is moving from the other side of london 1.5 hrs away to live 10 mins away (stalker?) and she can look after lo whilst I work... tbh I'd rather pay a childminder and be broke or just live on benefits to avoid that happening.

10 mins down the road, u lucky moo, mine lives 5 mins away if that! i swear i can hear her sneeze its so close! but yea if i was going back to work id rather pay a childminder than let mil look after her lol!
and if my mil had said about taking her away at any age i would of laughed in her face and spat my drink out all over her! that far away and for something so special is not something that should be done with a nanny, its a mummy and daddy thing!
my MIL wanted to take DD to a caravan for the weekend at 1 yr i blatantly said no and ignored all her reasons, she asked again when she was 2 i said the exact same thing, this year she has realised im not going to let her take her on holiday without me so she asked us all to come ... i laughed even more at this! i honestly thought she was joking and proceeded to laugh saying you, FIL, me, my hormones, OH, DD and the pooch in a caravan for the weekend! hahaha! her face told me she was being serious, i managed to regain myself and just said no! haha! wonder what she will come up with next year! haha! xx

 

[Staceysparkle]

To MIL

(Holding LO) - No you will not just take him right now since I won't let him stay overnight and if you try I will call the police thats called kidnap!

No I am not being lazy and need to go for a walk I have just given birth and had an episiotomy and have about a million stitches in my foof I think the last thing I need is a walk!

 

[moomin momma]

what a class thread!

Mine:

to my MIL: she REALLY doesn't need water (what is it about MIL's and water in this thread?) as well as my milk. No, I'm not going to BF her in front of you and the FIL, it weirds me out so stop fussing about how you don't mind. PLEASE stop wrapping her in those HORRID polyester cardigans that the woman next door knits. Can you not see she's REALLY hot in them? It's summer ffs.

to my FIL: her name is Lucy. If I'd known you were going to call her Juicy Lucy every time you see her trust me, we'd have gone with something else. Also, please control your dog. I'm fed up trying to stop him licking her every time we see you.

to my Mum: please stop telling me how I and my sister were both perfect babies. Apparently I sttn at 6 weeks, napped perfectly, were walking at 10months and toilet trained by 2 years. Stop telling me that the reason Lucy doesn't nap well is because I'm stressed. Duh, I'm only stressed when people like you tell me how I'm doing it wrong. Stop telling me I need to let her cry it out. She's 3 months old for goodness sake.

ah, that's better

 

[elephant29]

To MIL:

LO's hair IS NOT getting fairer!! Please please please stop saying that every single time you see her then when I say 'Nope it's the same colour as last time you saw her (about 12 hours ago!!)' dont proceed to talk to me through LO saying 'Yep mummy my hair is getting blonder! If she's blonde she's blonde. I know your genes are amazingly powerfully strong and she has no chance whatsoever of looking anything like me but dont make things up!!

xxx

 

[Babushka99]

Sorry I'm hijacking but this is really therapeutic... MIL says my daughter looks like her... paaaaaaaaaaaaaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[elephant29]

Sorry I'm hijacking but this is really therapeutic... MIL says my daughter looks like her... paaaaaaaaaaaaaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I've had this said to me!! It's so annoying and makes me feeling like spewing a little bit. I do really like my MIL but I dont care what anyone says, no woman wants to be told their baby looks like the MIL!!

Oh and my MIL has now said on a few occasions when handing LO to FIL 'here go to your daddy'!! Might be a slip of the tongue but eeeoooowwww!!

xxx

 

[Tiffa130]

To my friend - please don't ever accidently call yourself mommy when talking to my baby again. You have 4, I have 1 after 7 years TTC - do not take this away from me. Also stop randomly buying things I don't want for my daughter's room. I said I didn't want princessy decor & I meant it.

To my dad - I appreciate you & mom cleaning my house when I was in hospital but you were supposed to come to see me & baby. You stayed at my house 4 days & only visited us twice, yes I was lonely in there. Also don't just get up and walk out when you think I'm going to breastfeed, if you are uncomfortable fine but say something! And I know to be careful with her she's my damn baby!!

I don't have anything for MIL yet because she hasn't seen LO.

 

[babyjiva]

and take one

to my mil:
no she doesn't need water, no she doesn't need a change, no she doesn't like her stroller yet, no she does not want to go into her crib, yes bananas do constipate her, no she doesn't need that nuk pacifier you are always talking about it, if you saw it and want her to have it, go ahead and buy it instead of bringing it up everytime (LO has never taken a pacifier)… basically mil is always trying to find solutions to make LO whine less, but she's always off and doesn't realize that i don't need help figuring out what is going on with my LO.

to DH:
no, she is not just tired. she is constipated, teething or her tummy hurts. i don't know which it is, but she is not just tired. but i still love you.

to my grandmother:
yes i am sure that breastfeeding is not the cause of her reflux, no she will not go bolegged if i let her practice standing, i'm not spoiling her and i'm not spelling her name differently for you.

to my friends:
she is more important than you, stop suggesting i have her babysat

 

[minkymoo]

Dear OH

No, you do not have to take her out of the pushchair and carry her when we are out shopping. As lovely as you are you are a clumsy ******* at the best of times without being distracted by the scantily clad shopping mall teenagers, therefore if you trip over or bang her head on something I will pull off your testicles (not that you need them anymore).

 

[RDC24]

Oh, how I love this. Below comments directed to many people in the family...and friends, too.

*Do you HAVE to mention how much she looks like her daddy everytime you see her??? Yes, I know she looks like her dad. Yes, I've known that since birth. No, I haven't forgotten. But yes, she does actually look like me a little bit, too!
*No, she's not too chubby. She is perfectly healthy. She is super tall - 90th percentile for height, so of course she is going to be higher for weight, too (85th).
*Don't assume I am breastfeeding. There are other options, and it didn't work out for us. It doesn't mean I love my baby any less.
*Yes, she needs to sleep again. She sleeps between 16-18 hours a day. She's a BABY. No, don't wake her up. No, don't go into her room and look at her "hoping" you will wake her by "accident".
*Don't take my baby away from me everytime we see you.
*Stop telling me my lovely baby is going to turn into a crazy demon child when she starts teething. Just leave me alone and let me be.
*Yes, she is a calm baby but she does have her moments - she is not "easy" - are ANY babies easy???
*Don't bounce her so hard.
*Don't jiggle her around, get right in her face, and talk baby talk to her.
*Let her play on her own - she actually LIKES it.
*Don't touch her hands!
*Don't let your sick kid get in her face and touch her hands!
*To strangers - don't touch my baby. Period.
*Don't give me unneeded advice. I am with my baby every day all day. I think I know her a little better than you.
*Ignore me when you come visit - that's totally fine. Don't even ask how I am doing.
*Don't assume it is MY job to change every diaper, give every bottle, comfort every time just because I'm the mom. OH is fully capable, too.
*YOU can make the 100 mile drive to see her. Why do we always have to come see YOU? We have the small baby who doesn't love car rides.
*No, she isn't a cranky baby - she NEEDS A NAP! And you are jiggling her, passing her around to everybody, getting in her face!

To OH-Be patient! She doesn't "hate" you - you just aren't patient enough to calm her down. Give it time, you can do it!

 

[runnergrl]

To OH-Be patient! She doesn't "hate" you - you just aren't patient enough to calm her down. Give it time, you can do it!

Ditto,

 

[RDC24]

One more - YES, I KNOW MY BABY IS pretty much BALD! Yes, I know me and OH have tons of hair. Yes, I know my friend's baby (10 days younger) has tons of hair. Do you think I am blind??? Lots of babies are bald. It's not cause for concern!!!

 

[sultanas]

To OH-Be patient! She doesn't "hate" you - you just aren't patient enough to calm her down. Give it time, you can do it!

Ditto,

And Me!

 

[Tiffa130]

Oh and to my family. Stop telling me it's unfair that OH gets up with her at 4am because he works. I take care of her for 20 hours a day & he takes care of her for 4 hours while I sleep (4am-8am). The schedule works for BOTH of us so get off my back.

 

[Neko]

Dear OH

No, you do not have to take her out of the pushchair and carry her when we are out shopping. As lovely as you are you are a clumsy ******* at the best of times without being distracted by the scantily clad shopping mall teenagers, therefore if you trip over or bang her head on something I will pull off your testicles (not that you need them anymore).

 

[Tiredgirl]

Sorry I'm hijacking but this is really therapeutic... MIL says my daughter looks like her... paaaaaaaaaaaaaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I've had this said to me!! It's so annoying and makes me feeling like spewing a little bit. I do really like my MIL but I dont care what anyone says, no woman wants to be told their baby looks like the MIL!!

Oh and my MIL has now said on a few occasions when handing LO to FIL 'here go to your daddy'!! Might be a slip of the tongue but eeeoooowwww!!

xxx

Oooh mine has done this!!!!!!!!... anyway, I have read all the thread and think its my turn hehe..

Stop phoning on house phone after 7 when you know LO is asleep - how many times do we need to tell you!
No LO can not have a chip
No LO can't have some of your coke (just stopped this in time)
No LO cannot have some of your icecream (again just caught fil in time when LO was 2 months old)
No he can't "pretend" to have some of your beer, it just upsets LO cause he wants to then play with your glass.

I better stop cause OH comes on here for advice sometimes , sorry hunny xxx

Oh and no I won't leave him to CIO!!!!!!!!!!!!