Things I cannot say out loud....

[katy1310]

To DH's aunty:

Sophie does NOT look like her uncle, he's a scrawny, sickly-looking 31 year old man, and Sophie is a beautiful baby girl!

To FIL:

Sophie is not a lazy little sh*te just because she's not quite walking yet, she is so close, and was 13 weeks premature so I think she's doing great to be cruising like she is and standing unsupported - she SHOULD only have turned one 2 weeks ago and that's what we go by for development.

To our neighbour:

Please stop peering in our window when you come to the door - and Sophie doesn't have your eyes We are not related, you are not related to DH so how could she possibly have your eyes?!

To 2 friends:

Please please stop spending every 2nd Saturday afternoon with us - we need family time!

To the man who gets a lift to work with DH:

It's very very rude to turn up 20 minutes late every morning and every evening, and not pay your share of the petrol on time! The person getting the lifts should NOT call the shots!

And breathe! Feel better now

 

[bumpy89]

To my MIL
Yes we are busy today, sorry that our lives don't REVOLVE around you seeing LO. You only saw him a few days ago so stop telling anyone that will listen that we are punishing you by not letting you see LO.

Stop asking us to bring LO to the pub so you can see him on a saturday evening, we will never do this.

Stop asking to come round (or just turn up) in the evenings after 7.30, LO will be in bed. And no he is not waiting up just so you can come after you have had your tea at your usual time. And no we are not being awkward, you are being awkward. Why is your need to have tea at a certain time more important than my nine month old sons routine/sleep. You could always accept our invitation to have tea at ours.

To my mum
No you are not a Dr, you have no medical training what so ever. So please stop diagnosing/rediagnosing LO with things, especially if a Dr has seen him and i have just told you what the Dr said it is. Your not some sort of super Dr who can diagnose over the phone without any medical knowledge or without even seeing LO. Anyone can google, it's getting ridiculous!

Its really rude to critisise everything we do with LO. Epecially when you dont have a clue what your talking about!

 

[ClaireMuir123]

To my 'friend' - what have I done to hurt/annoy/upset you? You haven't bothered with me or my son in weeks even though you're all talk 'yeah I'll take Jayden out to give you a break' 'why don't we done some fun things with the boys before the girl comes' Jayden MISSES YOU! You can get that close to a child and then fuck off when it suits you! And I still haven't forgiven you for what you said behind my back, I know it all.

If I am telling a story about my son, let me finish it without you jumping in and thinking you can tell it for me because I told you already.

Your son isn't even 18 months old yet, there is no need so shout and ball at him when he does something naughty, explain it and certainly don't smack him bottom infront of me, it makes me uncomfortable.

And finally........... CLEAN YOUR HOUSE! It is an absolute riot and is disgusting.

This last point may sound a bit harsh but she's been in the house a year, it's a brand new build and was imaculate when she moved in and now you can't see the carpet for junk and hair, the kitchen is disgusting and there is stuff everywhere! It is not safe for a 17 month old child and it's pure laziness. xxx

 

[Kalah]

to OH:
When I'm doing my physiotherapy exercises stop trying to have sex with me!! Yes I am aware that the last exercise (doggy style type position, to stretch my back) turns you on, but I'm supposed to relax when I do it an it's very difficult to relax when you leap out of bed and get behind me to pretend we're having sex then get sad that I don't want to actually have sex. I have to do these exercises 3 times a day if it turns you on so much STOP WATCHING!!

To MIL:
I know how to clean, I don't need your advice on everything. The same goes for my own mom. Stop giving me "advice" telling me how to do things your way because your way is "easier and does it better". Sorry but I want things to actually be clean after I clean them, not just look clean. We've just got the keys to our new house yesterday and I'm giving it a thorough deep clean before we move in, I don't just need to "wipe things down a bit and worry about the rest later". As with many typical houses there is tons of mold in the windows, I am going to clean it out completely. I'm not just going to wipe it with a cloth and some bleach to get most of it and leave the rest. I don't care that it will take me over an hour per window doing it my way. I have asthma I cannot live in a house with mold!!!

To OH:
If you complain about something and I offer a solution to the problem don't just say "no that's not it" or "no that won't work" or "no that's not the problem" without even trying it!! Don't vacuum for an hour and complain that it just won't suck anything up then when I suggest checking the filter because it probably needs cleaning say "no it's not the filter it's just a crappy vacuum" and refuse to check the filter!! And when I then go to the vacuum myself to check the filter because you're too stubborn to do it don't get all whiny saying "why don't you believe me, it isn't the filter, don't check the filter, stop leave the vacuum alone it's just old!" then when I reveal the over clogged filter don't have a mini-tantrum because I was right. Fu**ing CHILD! Same goes for when you say you can't find something and I ask "have you checked *X location*?" and you say yes then I go to check that same location don't follow behind me getting angry saying "it's not there I just looked, why don't you trust me?!" then again have a mini-tantrum when I find the item in the exact place you said you already looked!!!!

To OH's aunt (who we now don't talk to anyway but still want to vent it):
Do not complain that we never bring Kili downstairs to see you when you visit. You come every 2 weeks for about an hour but you don't even let us know you're here. How the hell am I supposed to know to bring her down if you don't tell me that you're here?! I even told her that she just has to let us know she's here and her reply was "I shouldn't have to tell you" WELL APPARENTLY YOU DO! And don't huff and puff and walk away when I calmly say "well, how else am I supposed to know you're here? I'm not psychic."

And finally to OH's uncle:
Stop being such an ass all the time!
Just yesterday he happened to come to the house while I was downstairs and Kili was walking around. He made the comment "how'd she learn to walk she's always stuck up there in your room" WTF?! First off how would you even know what we do all day you never see us! Secondly she obviously isn't just "stuck in our room" because look at that SHE IS WALKING! FFS she plays almost all day long walking/crawling around getting into things all over the house, at the park, baby groups, etc..
I don't know where you're getting your information from but it's obviously wrong. If I hear one more comment like that come out of your mouth I'll bring Kili upstairs to her dad so I can come back down and tell you off. The only reason I didn't that time was because Kili was so happy toddling around I didn't want to stop her fun. You crippled old man I'll break both your knees with your own walking stick, let's see you talk so tough when you're laying on the ground and can't even get back up.


And oh look it's time for my medication now! (wish that was a joke, it actually is)

 

[elephant29]

To my aunt and my cousin;

Have we done something to offend you? I will put pictures of Aria on FB and you comment maybe one (aunt) or never (cousin) however when my other cousin puts pics of her LO on you can both barely contain yourselves. I find it upsetting and rude. What has Aria ever done to you? I know you hardly saw her when I was BF but that was the same with my cousins baby. My cousin doesnt work so she has time to let you visit. I'm trying to hold down a full time job, it's hard so stop acting to immature. I announced my pregnancy on FB due to everyone finding out through OH's mum blabbing. It wasnt a personal slight against my family that I didnt tell each person individually!

xxx

 

[divadexie]

I got a little bit more

Everyone- no, she isn't sitting up yet or crawling properly, don't you think I'd be shouting it from the rooftops if she was? It's upsetting and annoying that everyone asks this and she isn't yet, kinda makes me feel like I'm not doing something right.

If you come round and she is not in the room, she is having a nap. And NO you can NOT poke your head round the door to look at her, she will wake up. NO, not even quietly, there is no such thing in this creaky old house. Also NO I am not going to wake her up so you can see her and then leave the grumping for me to deal with!


DS's Gran- HELOO?? He had a birthday? you sent a card, yes.... but I can't remember the last time you phoned, thanks for not bothering to replying to my text about a month ago, he is soooo exited that the summer hols are nearly here because he knows he gets to see you, and you aren't his only plans for the summer and no I won't just drop everything to let him come to you because you have time off work!

DS's DAD- OMG why are you so USELESS! I can't even remember the last time you messaged me to ask how your SON is! or to talk to him on the phone. I guess it takes a lot more than a sperm to make a dad!


Some People- it is not ODD that my son calls my OH daddy, and no I did not encourage this. He just come out with it one day by himself. My OH is much more of a dad than his actual one is.

yes, she is still small, dont talk to me as if I don't bloody feed her! she could eat for scotland!

 

[Scarlett316]

To my best friend- your hen weekend is boring the tits Off me. We're too old for this shit love, my clubbing days are well behind me and yours are too you just need to realize it.

I just want to go home to my baby

 

[Emmy1987]

Oh I love this thread!!

Just some quick ones -

To DF, stop fucking clicking!! He clicks when he mouth breathes and it drives me crazy!

Leave your pissing nose along and stop flicking bogeys on the floor!! Also leave your balls alone or I will kindly rip them off for you.

Stop saying you're tired - you got 8 hours uninterrupted sleep the last two nights in a row, I got THREE whilst sat downstairs trying to deal with your daughter.

You are capable of doing bottles, so maybe you wanna help out and do some?!!

Stop following me around, theres a ton of stuff that needs doing, go do it!

Stop being lazy and just getting the spare clothes out of my changing bag instead of getting stuff from the nursery. I'm sick of having to constantly re check the spare change of clothes before leaving the house, I have enough to do!!

LEAVE YOUR BLOODY NOSE ALONE!

Aaaaargh!

And that's just right now. I'll be back for more later!

 

[mylittlebubs]

there are tons of things we can't say out loud,lol
but hope you feel better

 

[tardiz]

To my dad please stop smothering him with kisses after smoking.

To my friend- this is my house and I will breast feed my son how I wish if you dont like it then leave (she did). I know you had a ceaserean and I 'only' had an eispotomy(sp) and quite bad tearing and I don't doubt yours wad painful too but at the moment I am in agony and IT IS NOT A COMPETITION!!!! He is also only 11 days old. It is not important to get him into a routine!!! We are baby lead and he is too little to have a strict routine anyway !!!

Mum and mil - please stop grabbing him as soon as you see him and keep hold of him even though it is obvious that he is wanting feeding.

 

[elephant29]

OH;

Stop saying 'She did have a birth birth which I imagine would change a person' when referring to our friend who gave birth naturally a week ago. You make me feel shit. I have never had an issue with having a section but dont make out that my birth was any less meaningful than someone who does it naturally. We are all handed a baby at the end of it regardless. I know you say you dont mean it that way but maybe try censoring yourself beforehand then.

I am almost at the ned of my tether with having to do everything in this house. I do the dishes, I do the washing, hang it up and put it away. I hoover, I change the bed. I put LO to bed EVERY night and practically get her up EVERY morning. I do the bottles 90%, I clean the shower, bathroom etc. I literally do everything even when I am unwell. We both work, you have no excuses. I am beginning to doubt that you actually respect me. You take me for granted and I am reaching a point I cant accept this anymore. I am not your slave or your mum.

xxx

 

[Kalah]

To my dad please stop smothering him with kisses after smoking.

To my friend- this is my house and I will breast feed my son how I wish if you dont like it then leave (she did). I know you had a ceaserean and I 'only' had an eispotomy(sp) and quite bad tearing and I don't doubt yours wad painful too but at the moment I am in agony and IT IS NOT A COMPETITION!!!! He is also only 11 days old. It is not important to get him into a routine!!! We are baby lead and he is too little to have a strict routine anyway !!!

Mum and mil - please stop grabbing him as soon as you see him and keep hold of him even though it is obvious that he is wanting feeding.

Oh I hate that!! Want to know the secret solution though? Get one of those baby wraps or carrier things and when you know someone's coming over put him in it. That way they can't take him off you and especially with the wrap you have the excuse "oh it's a pain to get it all wrapped right I don't want to have to undo it all". Also with a wrap and with some carriers you can BF while he's in it
My OH's aunt used to come over and *try* to pull LO right out of my arms, I got sick of the ensuing self-pity that always followed where she got all sad that I wouldn't let her hold my baby. (She's a heavy smoker and always smells like WAYYYYY too much perfume) So I started putting her in the carrier every time someone came by and voila problem solved!

 

[Kalah]

OH;

Stop saying 'She did have a birth birth which I imagine would change a person' when referring to our friend who gave birth naturally a week ago. You make me feel shit. I have never had an issue with having a section but dont make out that my birth was any less meaningful than someone who does it naturally. We are all handed a baby at the end of it regardless. I know you say you dont mean it that way but maybe try censoring yourself beforehand then.

I am almost at the ned of my tether with having to do everything in this house. I do the dishes, I do the washing, hang it up and put it away. I hoover, I change the bed. I put LO to bed EVERY night and practically get her up EVERY morning. I do the bottles 90%, I clean the shower, bathroom etc. I literally do everything even when I am unwell. We both work, you have no excuses. I am beginning to doubt that you actually respect me. You take me for granted and I am reaching a point I cant accept this anymore. I am not your slave or your mum.

xxx

Every birth is a "birth birth". Like you said we all end up with a baby! Not to mention no matter how baby comes out we ALL end up sore! So you can tell your OH that you've been told by someone who did have a (nearly, g&a for 20 minutes) natural birth and the only thing it changed about me was I now compare any pain to the pain of contractions so nothing is ever a 10 on the pain scale anymore, and it's changed the way I think of my vagina as I'm still a little creeped out that it stretched enough to get a baby out So all in all the way baby comes out is not really that life changing!

Then let him know that getting married to someone then discovering that makes you the mother to a grown man IS life changing!

 

[Tiredgirl]

To my dad please stop smothering him with kisses after smoking.

To my friend- this is my house and I will breast feed my son how I wish if you dont like it then leave (she did). I know you had a ceaserean and I 'only' had an eispotomy(sp) and quite bad tearing and I don't doubt yours wad painful too but at the moment I am in agony and IT IS NOT A COMPETITION!!!! He is also only 11 days old. It is not important to get him into a routine!!! We are baby lead and he is too little to have a strict routine anyway !!!

Mum and mil - please stop grabbing him as soon as you see him and keep hold of him even though it is obvious that he is wanting feeding.

She didn't like you BF?? Wow what a friend hey! xx

 

[tardiz]

To my dad please stop smothering him with kisses after smoking.

To my friend- this is my house and I will breast feed my son how I wish if you dont like it then leave (she did). I know you had a ceaserean and I 'only' had an eispotomy(sp) and quite bad tearing and I don't doubt yours wad painful too but at the moment I am in agony and IT IS NOT A COMPETITION!!!! He is also only 11 days old. It is not important to get him into a routine!!! We are baby lead and he is too little to have a strict routine anyway !!!

Mum and mil - please stop grabbing him as soon as you see him and keep hold of him even though it is obvious that he is wanting feeding.

She didn't like you BF?? Wow what a friend hey! xx

Yeah totally. She ff as her oh didn't want her to bf so we do have a difference of opinions when it comes to feeding

 

[Tiredgirl]

To my dad please stop smothering him with kisses after smoking.

To my friend- this is my house and I will breast feed my son how I wish if you dont like it then leave (she did). I know you had a ceaserean and I 'only' had an eispotomy(sp) and quite bad tearing and I don't doubt yours wad painful too but at the moment I am in agony and IT IS NOT A COMPETITION!!!! He is also only 11 days old. It is not important to get him into a routine!!! We are baby lead and he is too little to have a strict routine anyway !!!

Mum and mil - please stop grabbing him as soon as you see him and keep hold of him even though it is obvious that he is wanting feeding.

She didn't like you BF?? Wow what a friend hey! xx

Yeah totally. She ff as her oh didn't want her to bf so we do have a difference of opinions when it comes to feeding

Thats shocking, everyone has the own opinion on Bf and FF and chooses the best for there child but to leave someones house because of it..... oh wish people would just let other people live there lives without judging them!!! x

 

[Lettuce]

To oh cousin: I know you were out and about straight after your daughters birth in November, I know it helps, but you had a nice short labour, a Norma delivery and a little baby that behaved well... I had a 30hour induced labour, failed forceps, and and emergency c section resulting in 2.5lt blood loss and a big girl who likes to eat a lot. It's only been 2weeks- I'm still recovering!
Just cos you left the room to bf don't assume I will, I don't want to sit in the other room and miss the chat!
Yes, your daughter is more advanced, she's 7months older than mine. No, they might not be great friends just cos they happen to be distantly related.
You've upset my mil, that's MY job! she's just retired last week and you've asked to take your daughter a day?! Now she feels awkward...
P.s. My daughter is prettier than yours...
P.p.s. Control your mother or I will slap her. just cos my daughter is a good size, does not make her "less cute"
Wow, was harbouring that one... xx

 

[Ozzieshunni]

May I join?

To my grandmother: HIS NAME IS ALEX! Not "Little Al." I think if you call him that one more time, I will scream!

To my mom: I will not let Alex cry for 30 minutes just to see if he is just being fussy.

Thanks

 

[hmcx]

TO OH

I hate you! I'm leaving you!


I don't and I won't but it feels good to say it while i'm in a mood with him and haven't spoken to him for 23 hours!

 

[Tadan]

To my family:

STOP leaving the vibrate on the bouncer! It's annoying and I'm going through batteries like I dunno what!

If you offer to have LO for me to eat breakfast/get dressed then dont call me every two seconds to tell me she is smiling/hungry/needs a nappy change. If you want to help then do so! If her nappy needs changing then change it, everything is there to do it!

If she is sleeping or just stirring from a nap it is NOT okay to pick her up and play with her and jiggle her about. Yup, doing that does make her sick and Im creased that it went all over you

I actually HATE that you call yourself "Mam" yes it maybe short for Mamgu, but you arent "too old" to be "nana" and everytime you say to her "mamamam" to encourage her to say it, she will probably say "mam" as in "mammy" first seeing as I am with her all day everyday...

Just cause she smiles and laughs when you play with her it doesnt mean she likes you better...