Things I cannot say out loud....

[1bunintheoven]

TO MIL:
-Please stop pretending you give a @#&^ about Lilly. You have done nothing to help us with her before pregnancy now so don't pretend you care when people are around.
-How dare you tell me I should be doing sit-ups 3 weeks after an emergency c-section. I'm recovering from a major surgery Dumb a$$ so have some respect. Maybe you should look at yourself in the mirror.
-Don't call my 5 week old daughter 'sexy'. That is disgusting and inappropriate and God help your soul if I hear it again you sicko.
-If she is crying when you are talking to my husband dont get snarky and say 'What the heck is her problem'...she is a baby they cry, get with the problem you moron
-I don't care ifshe is your grandchild, I am not comfortable with you watching me breastfeed. Its my body and my right so stop acting making it like i am a horrible DIL for that. BFing is not a spectator sport.

TO Step-Mom:
-I sleep in same room as my baby because I want to. Mind your own business.
-She sleeps on her back because Dr says it helps decrease risk of SIDS if you really need to know.
-I dont want to hear your 5 hour long stories that is why I dont always answer phone when you call!
TO OH:
-Dont complain you are 'tired' and nap all day. I am the one who gets up every 1 to 3 hours with LO for the last 5 wks while u sleep!
-please stop giving me orders on how to bf and tell me i am doing it wrong. She is doing great and you havde never done it a day in your life!

 

[Shell999]

Oh! What a great thread!!!

To my MIL

1.No my LO does not need porridge/rice in his milk- he will f*cking choke... and I am NOT starving him, he is small- he was born small. Get over it. He is putting on weight fast you ignorant cow.

2.Bye- doubt we'll see you now until Xmas...

3.Size 3 nappies are not for newborns you daft woman, read the packet.

4.Thanks for the tip, but I doubt putting LO in a cold bath will stop him crying- it may just kill him though

5.Dont bother telling me again what a great Mother you were... perhaps ask yourself why you always say, 'were' and not, 'are'!!!!!!!


To step mother

I dont care if you have a holiday home with a f*cking soft play area built in, or a swimming pool, or if its near a big park. You are not taking my LO on holiday without me- erm I need to feed him, and he is MY BABY, and far too young!!!!

and breathe... god i could go on for days about MIL.....

 

[Emmy1987]

Oh I love this thread!!

Just some quick ones -

To DF, stop fucking clicking!! He clicks when he mouth breathes and it drives me crazy!

Arghh!!! I hate this too but my OH does it when he's asleep and its even more annoying because I'm sat right next to him awake with the baby!!! x

Mine does it in his sleep too! When he's not clicking he's snoring!! Feels good to hit/kick him to stop him lol. He never remembers me doing it

Katt
To oh, close your ******* mouth when you eat! The noise is going to make me snap and I will not be held responsible for my actions.

Oh this too!! So sloppy and noisy gah!!

 

[Lettuce]

To DH, I don't mind feeding our beautiful daughter 6times a night, I dint mind that you sleep through it, but I do mind the snoring- it distracts Jenny from her feeding! and then when she's settled and I want to sleep I can't cos you're so loud! grrrrrrrrrr.... Oh and I agree- you will NEVER win the tiredness war... Xx

 

[Kalah]

Oh! What a great thread!!!

To my MIL

1.No my LO does not need porridge/rice in his milk- he will f*cking choke... and I am NOT starving him, he is small- he was born small. Get over it. He is putting on weight fast you ignorant cow.

2.Bye- doubt we'll see you now until Xmas...

3.Size 3 nappies are not for newborns you daft woman, read the packet.

4.Thanks for the tip, but I doubt putting LO in a cold bath will stop him crying- it may just kill him though

5.Dont bother telling me again what a great Mother you were... perhaps ask yourself why you always say, 'were' and not, 'are'!!!!!!!


To step mother

I dont care if you have a holiday home with a f*cking soft play area built in, or a swimming pool, or if its near a big park. You are not taking my LO on holiday without me- erm I need to feed him, and he is MY BABY, and far too young!!!!

and breathe... god i could go on for days about MIL.....

That is scary advice! No doubt it would stop him crying, only because it's hard to breath in cold water when your body goes into shock! I wonder if she did that to her own kids

 

[Kalah]

To OH:
STOP PICKING YOUR F%&KING NOSE!!
And especially stop putting your finger in your mouth after to pick your nose
I know you think you're being sneaky and I can't see you, but I can feel your movement and hear your mouth I know what you're doing and it makes me feel really uncomfortable and sick
And the excuse "I was just itching this scab I have in my nose and I have to lick my finger first so it's wet to itch it better" you're not fooling anyone.
And he wonders why I never want to kiss him.

 

[minkymoo]

To OH:
STOP PICKING YOUR F%&KING NOSE!!
And especially stop putting your finger in your mouth after to pick your nose
I know you think you're being sneaky and I can't see you, but I can feel your movement and hear your mouth I know what you're doing and it makes me feel really uncomfortable and sick
And the excuse "I was just itching this scab I have in my nose and I have to lick my finger first so it's wet to itch it better" you're not fooling anyone.
And he wonders why I never want to kiss him.

lol lol

 

[elephant29]

To OH:
STOP PICKING YOUR F%&KING NOSE!!
And especially stop putting your finger in your mouth after to pick your nose
I know you think you're being sneaky and I can't see you, but I can feel your movement and hear your mouth I know what you're doing and it makes me feel really uncomfortable and sick
And the excuse "I was just itching this scab I have in my nose and I have to lick my finger first so it's wet to itch it better" you're not fooling anyone.
And he wonders why I never want to kiss him.

 

[Kalah]

Yeah it's so gross! I mean I know we all get an itch in our nose from time to time and have to scratch it, but if anything extra comes along with it put it in a tissue! I personally like to clean my nose out with a bit of salt water on a cotton bud each morning, it keeps my nose clear since I already have trouble breathing as it is, I wish he would just do that instead it's so much less disgusting! And it might even heal his "scab"

 

[Mariposa-]

Ohhh my turn!

To MIL:

* Please do not take the pram from me everytime we see you when out. I find it rude and especially when you pushed me out of the way when we came to visit you at work for the first time and LO was only one week old. He is MY baby and it is MY job to push him around, you can push him when i let you.
* If he needs feeding when we are with you doesn't automatically mean you are going to do it. Once again, he is MY baby and i will feed and wind him.
* I do not need your help everytime i change his nappy and i certainly do not want you to whip off his nappy and "let him have a kick around" when i am not looking only for him to pee all over himself and his clothes.
* I will decide if he is too hot or too cold. I listened to you once on this and never again. In the delivery room after the birth you laughed that we had dressed him in a vest, babygrow and a blanket and once you entered the room proceeded to try to strip him off to his vest. I protested at the vest but removed the blanket as you instructed only to be told off by the midwife that my baby was too cold. I will NEVER trust you again and will go with my instincts.
* Yes i am grateful for the clothes you have bought him but he does not have to wear one of "your" outfits every day. I like him to wear things i have bought him too, especially considering everything you have bought says something about "daddy" across the front. Anyone would think i had nothing to do with my son!
* Yes i agree he does look like your side of the family but please dont make a big deal about it every time and say there is nothing of me in him! I find this upsetting.

 

[Mariposa-]

Im on a roll

To my dad:

* if he cries please give him back to me, i can cope with him just fine and i want to be the one to comfort him.
* i know you want him to finish his bottle but please do not shove it in his mouth when he clearly does not want it as he will not take it anyway

 

[Mariposa-]

oh and more.....

To my fil:

* the whole grandad of the year routine will not wash with me. When i was pregnant you couldn't give a s**t, not even enquiring after me when i was in hospital with high bp. Now LO is here you want to strike up some sort of relationship whereby you can pop round whenever you like for coffee and a cuddle. Me thinks not.
* Do not click at him like a horse.
* Do not take pics of him and post them on facebook

 

[Lettuce]

To weird girl at end of the road: yes, I have a baby, yes, so do you. No, I dont want to be friends... We do not need to bond over our traumatic births. I'm over mine. I don't have the same parenting techniques, I am breastfeeding, as are you, but I don't need to have a mutual breast feeding session.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Lettuce what a nut!

 

[Lettuce]

I know! I think I attract em... xx

 

[Kalah]

To weird girl at end of the road: yes, I have a baby, yes, so do you. No, I dont want to be friends... We do not need to bond over our traumatic births. I'm over mine. I don't have the same parenting techniques, I am breastfeeding, as are you, but I don't need to have a mutual breast feeding session.

You know that's really the biggest thing that decides if two mothers can be friends or not sometimes. I would have quite a hard time being friends with someone who did things I really didn't agree with, unless of course we had already been friends for years previously. I don't mean minor differences but like if someone liked to yell at/spank their kids all the time I just could not be around them and see it and pretend it doesn't bother me.

That weird girl might just be lonely and want a friend though

 

[Cupkake.Luver]

To OH:

What a good idea it was to invite all of our friends over yesterday to meet Xavier and have an early 4th of July party!

Thanks so much for spending a whole 30 mins with your son! I know it was tough. I'm sure he loves you very much for that quality time.

Did you enjoy your beers, fireworks, and friends? Ah, of course you did, that's what makes you happy.

And today you want to act like a dad after you realize what a douche you were yesterday???

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

 

[Babushka99]

aww lettuce I like weird girl I think you should give her a try!

 

[peanut56]

DH:
No, me asking you every 2-3 months about something you've been promising you'll do for FIVE YEARS is not "nagging". If you go back to school as you've been promising you'll do for FIVE YEARS, after only 8 weeks, you'll be making almost double what you make now. Do you not realize what that could do for our family?? A second baby, a bigger house, I could stay home with our LO...
Actually, I have said this out loud. But it doesn't do any good.

 

[cissyhope]

To weird girl at end of the road: yes, I have a baby, yes, so do you. No, I dont want to be friends... We do not need to bond over our traumatic births. I'm over mine. I don't have the same parenting techniques, I am breastfeeding, as are you, but I don't need to have a mutual breast feeding session.

Oh man i feel sorry for the weird girl at the end of the road,give her a chance and you never know you might like her?