Things I cannot say out loud....

[Odd Socks]

Dear OH,

It's ok if you don't bring me home a sorry present because I took some of your money & bought myself a big bar of chocolate with it anyway.

 

[BabyBoo36]

To OH - Thank you for getting up at 4am and finding Pudding's dummy for me, without tutting, huffing, puffing or whining. Why can't you do that all the time?!

To SIL - I don't care if you think I'm "obsessed" by not wanting to leave LO with anyone until after she has had her major surgery. She is 8 weeks old, and I will leave her when I am damn well ready. Yes, I know it is our wedding anniversary meal, but OH and I have agreed we are happy to take her. I do not have to justify my decisions to you. Feck off.

To Mum and MIL - Thank you for understanding the above decision. I love you both.

To the MRI Pudding has next wednesday - Please be ok, please be ok, please be ok.

To the Neuro-surgeon - please take care of my Pudding. I know this is "another day at the office" for you, and you do this everyday. I have 100% faith in you, but she is my everything - please look after her for me.......

 

[Odd Socks]

Dear mum,

I wish you & dad lived 3 miles away & OH's parents were 250 miles away rather than vice versa.

 

[Joda]

Dear mum,

I wish you & dad lived 3 miles away & OH's parents were 250 miles away rather than vice versa.

Same here hun

 

[carbafe]

DH - When I have a bath for the first time in 2 months (I have showered though ) and take in a book to relax don't bring LO in to 'see me' just cause he is grizziling and you can't think what to do now. It has been about 30mins I am sure you can cope on your own for a bit longer !

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Oh god!!!! Mine does that too!!!!!!!! Is it a Scottish guy thing?

 

[carbafe]

Oh god!!!! Mine does that too!!!!!!!! Is it a Scottish guy thing?

..... or just a guy thing

 

[GDrag]

OH - It's now 5 pm. You've been out since 8 this morning and I'm getting p-off. I appreciate that you are the CEO and have to work very hard but is it really necessary for you to work on a Sunday??? I feel like a single parent again!

 

[Kalah]

to OH - Why do you have to take 2 hour long baths?! You know I put laxative in my coffee every morning, I need the bathroom get ooouuuutttt!!
Seriously he only bathes like once a month or less but when he does he's in there for ages!

 

[Emmy1987]

To the inlaws - you have been here 4 hours now, you've paid for our meal out, you have surved your purpose. We really don't want to keep watching your 2 hour long slideshow of your holiday in Scotland with the same 3 tracks playing on a loop. Fuck off! We want to spend time sat in the garden in the sunshine just us two as I barely see OH in the week and I miss spending time with him!

To OH - sorry Doo won't sleep downstairs cause of the strange voices, LMAO I really hope you're enjoying the slideshow and no it's fine I don't need a hand you enjoy time with your parents

To the pub where we had our lunch - really?? 3 1inch cubes of roast potato? That's it?!! Fuck I'm still hungry but it's rude to eat in front of our guests when they bought dinner but they just won't leave!! Silly pub.

To the sunshine - please stay nice and warm so we can at least get in a few rays, I resemble a wobbly milk bottle!

To OH's grandma - no it's not a lovely town, it's a fucking shithole and I HATE HATE HATE it here. You only like it cause you're old and it's full of old people!

To FIL - no I will not do my bloody weekly shop in Budgens instead of Tesco because it's closer, trust me I won't save money and since when does a 20 mile round trip use £10 of petrol?! Are you sure your car doesn't have a leak??

To MIL - piss off. I just don't like you. You look like a ******** heroin addict with bad makeup.

To me - stop craving cigarettes! It's been almost a year since you quit!

 

[Kalah]

To the inlaws - you have been here 4 hours now, you've paid for our meal out, you have surved your purpose. We really don't want to keep watching your 2 hour long slideshow of your holiday in Scotland with the same 3 tracks playing on a loop. Fuck off! We want to spend time sat in the garden in the sunshine just us two as I barely see OH in the week and I miss spending time with him!

To OH - sorry Doo won't sleep downstairs cause of the strange voices, LMAO I really hope you're enjoying the slideshow and no it's fine I don't need a hand you enjoy time with your parents

To the pub where we had our lunch - really?? 3 1inch cubes of roast potato? That's it?!! Fuck I'm still hungry but it's rude to eat in front of our guests when they bought dinner but they just won't leave!! Silly pub.

To the sunshine - please stay nice and warm so we can at least get in a few rays, I resemble a wobbly milk bottle!

To OH's grandma - no it's not a lovely town, it's a fucking shithole and I HATE HATE HATE it here. You only like it cause you're old and it's full of old people!

To FIL - no I will not do my bloody weekly shop in Budgens instead of Tesco because it's closer, trust me I won't save money and since when does a 20 mile round trip use £10 of petrol?! Are you sure your car doesn't have a leak??

To MIL - piss off. I just don't like you. You look like a ******** heroin addict with bad makeup.

To me - stop craving cigarettes! It's been almost a year since you quit!

Just want to say I had the same problem, I quit smoking when I got pregnant but still craved them well after a year later! A few months ago I was so close to giving in to the craving so I just starting using asda brand nicotine lozenges. One box lasts about a week so it's still cheaper than smoking and definitely healthier! Plus I've always got nice minty breath now. Not saying you should start having those but if you do start really considering smoking again just go with those instead!

 

[Emmy1987]

To the inlaws - you have been here 4 hours now, you've paid for our meal out, you have surved your purpose. We really don't want to keep watching your 2 hour long slideshow of your holiday in Scotland with the same 3 tracks playing on a loop. Fuck off! We want to spend time sat in the garden in the sunshine just us two as I barely see OH in the week and I miss spending time with him!

To OH - sorry Doo won't sleep downstairs cause of the strange voices, LMAO I really hope you're enjoying the slideshow and no it's fine I don't need a hand you enjoy time with your parents

To the pub where we had our lunch - really?? 3 1inch cubes of roast potato? That's it?!! Fuck I'm still hungry but it's rude to eat in front of our guests when they bought dinner but they just won't leave!! Silly pub.

To the sunshine - please stay nice and warm so we can at least get in a few rays, I resemble a wobbly milk bottle!

To OH's grandma - no it's not a lovely town, it's a fucking shithole and I HATE HATE HATE it here. You only like it cause you're old and it's full of old people!

To FIL - no I will not do my bloody weekly shop in Budgens instead of Tesco because it's closer, trust me I won't save money and since when does a 20 mile round trip use £10 of petrol?! Are you sure your car doesn't have a leak??

To MIL - piss off. I just don't like you. You look like a ******** heroin addict with bad makeup.

To me - stop craving cigarettes! It's been almost a year since you quit!

Just want to say I had the same problem, I quit smoking when I got pregnant but still craved them well after a year later! A few months ago I was so close to giving in to the craving so I just starting using asda brand nicotine lozenges. One box lasts about a week so it's still cheaper than smoking and definitely healthier! Plus I've always got nice minty breath now. Not saying you should start having those but if you do start really considering smoking again just go with those instead!

I think I may have to! God I want to run to spar at the end of the road and get a pack of 10!!

 

[Kalah]

To the inlaws - you have been here 4 hours now, you've paid for our meal out, you have surved your purpose. We really don't want to keep watching your 2 hour long slideshow of your holiday in Scotland with the same 3 tracks playing on a loop. Fuck off! We want to spend time sat in the garden in the sunshine just us two as I barely see OH in the week and I miss spending time with him!

To OH - sorry Doo won't sleep downstairs cause of the strange voices, LMAO I really hope you're enjoying the slideshow and no it's fine I don't need a hand you enjoy time with your parents

To the pub where we had our lunch - really?? 3 1inch cubes of roast potato? That's it?!! Fuck I'm still hungry but it's rude to eat in front of our guests when they bought dinner but they just won't leave!! Silly pub.

To the sunshine - please stay nice and warm so we can at least get in a few rays, I resemble a wobbly milk bottle!

To OH's grandma - no it's not a lovely town, it's a fucking shithole and I HATE HATE HATE it here. You only like it cause you're old and it's full of old people!

To FIL - no I will not do my bloody weekly shop in Budgens instead of Tesco because it's closer, trust me I won't save money and since when does a 20 mile round trip use £10 of petrol?! Are you sure your car doesn't have a leak??

To MIL - piss off. I just don't like you. You look like a ******** heroin addict with bad makeup.

To me - stop craving cigarettes! It's been almost a year since you quit!

Just want to say I had the same problem, I quit smoking when I got pregnant but still craved them well after a year later! A few months ago I was so close to giving in to the craving so I just starting using asda brand nicotine lozenges. One box lasts about a week so it's still cheaper than smoking and definitely healthier! Plus I've always got nice minty breath now. Not saying you should start having those but if you do start really considering smoking again just go with those instead!

I think I may have to! God I want to run to spar at the end of the road and get a pack of 10!!

Well a box of 72 lozenges is only about £7 in asda =)

 

[BattyNora]

Ooh, my first one.

To MIL - don"t kiss LO on the lips please, and stop slobbering on her face. Stop telling my OH how to change his daughters nappy, forcing him not to put a nappy on and leaving her bare, and do NOT push him out of the way to smother her bits in sudocream when we explicitly said we're only using on her bum right now. And STOP commenting on her dry skin. It's normal and all we want to use right now is water..she's delecate enough. Just because you used everything on your kids....well they all had horrenbdous exzama anyway, Bee's skin is fine for now!

To FIL - grow a pair.

 

[Odd Socks]

to OH - Why do you have to take 2 hour long baths?! You know I put laxative in my coffee every morning, I need the bathroom get ooouuuutttt!!
Seriously he only bathes like once a month or less but when he does he's in there for ages!

As you say, at least it's only once a month. Mine takes them every day we're both home.
xx

 

[caity88]

SIL: You can throw a baby fit all you want about your mom and I spending time together. Its inevitable. We all live in the same house. And she's my MIL and the grandmother to my children. You're 23 years old and you're jealous of me having time with your mom? Grow up.

MIL: Giving your daughter a mother-daughter day because of the way she's acting isn't going to change anything. All she's doing is spending your money at the mall. And inviting Grandpa and my son isn't fair. Its not a mother-daughter day with them in tow. And its rude to tell me I can't come. Trust me, my children will be going nowhere with either of you for a very long time. And you'd think you'd want to spend more time with me seeing as we're moving out in a month and she will most likely always live with you, as she can't find anyone to put up with her past a 2nd date.

OH: It would be nice if you would tell your mother that its not nice to ignore me completely on a 15 minute car ride just to make your sister less of a bitch. It would be really nice if you stood up for me once in a while. Don't sit there and say what do you want from me? I want you to say the things I can't.

Good thing I have BNB to vent to because without it I would have bitten my tongue off.

 

[Kalah]

to OH - Why do you have to take 2 hour long baths?! You know I put laxative in my coffee every morning, I need the bathroom get ooouuuutttt!!
Seriously he only bathes like once a month or less but when he does he's in there for ages!

As you say, at least it's only once a month. Mine takes them every day we're both home.
xx

Oh no that would drive me crazy!

 

[chichestermum]

Mum - get a grip, BFing is totally natural and a beautiful thing to do! Just because you have weird issues that meant you couldn't even entertain the idea doesn't mean that the rest of the world shouldn't do it too.

my MIL is totally against breastfeeding! she was sooo against me BFing DD that she bought bottles, steriliser and first milk and gave me it all before DD was born so that she would know it was there in those first few days when BF is the hardest!
silly moo! im going to BF again this time and hope i make her feel sooo uneasy that she wont visit often! lol xx

Get one of those crazy breastfeeding dolls for you oldest too, that'll make your MIL feel REALLY uncomfortable!

great idea!! iv been wondering what present to get DD from the baby, this would be an amazing present, both for her to understand what im doing and to make MIL uncomfortable! especially since when anyone comes to visit they have to play mummys with DD! that would be hilarious!

 

[chichestermum]

Dear mum,

I wish you & dad lived 3 miles away & OH's parents were 250 miles away rather than vice versa.

Same here hun

and here

 

[Kalah]

Mum - get a grip, BFing is totally natural and a beautiful thing to do! Just because you have weird issues that meant you couldn't even entertain the idea doesn't mean that the rest of the world shouldn't do it too.

my MIL is totally against breastfeeding! she was sooo against me BFing DD that she bought bottles, steriliser and first milk and gave me it all before DD was born so that she would know it was there in those first few days when BF is the hardest!
silly moo! im going to BF again this time and hope i make her feel sooo uneasy that she wont visit often! lol xx

Get one of those crazy breastfeeding dolls for you oldest too, that'll make your MIL feel REALLY uncomfortable!

great idea!! iv been wondering what present to get DD from the baby, this would be an amazing present, both for her to understand what im doing and to make MIL uncomfortable! especially since when anyone comes to visit they have to play mummys with DD! that would be hilarious!

If you end up doing that you HAVE to tell me about it because I think it would be hilarious! I can just imagine right now your DD with her new doll convincing your MIL to put the vest on and feed baby