TTC #1 AL Buddies 2016 Newcomers Welcome

[beemeck]

ugh mrsU - it's crazy how long it takes to get in anywhere nowadays!
I wanted to answer your question about the AMH. I had mine tested and yes you are right - it will tell you about your egg reserves. If the number were low, they would probably jump into other tests just because the lower the number, the "less time you have" but I think we are still talking years. If the number was normal, they would prob send you off unless you pressed them for more testing, but it sounds like over there if you were just pregnant (I know it seems like forever ago for sure!) then they might not do anything? you know me, I always am an advocate of testing and seeking answers, but it's not for everyone so do what feels right for you!

 

[mrs unicorn]

thanks bee. I don't think I'm going to bother. The way I'm feeling at the moment I just don't care, I just want to feel better. We might have to take a break for a while (or forever), I just don't know what else to do, but I'm not prepared to keep myself in this situation for months on end feeling miserable.

Good luck for your scan this week. I'm sending you all the luck in the world hun. Hopefully it will bring you a lot of happiness and relief. xx

 

[beemeck]

thanks mrsu - I'm terrified but know that all of you ladies here understand more than anything.

I'm sorry you are feeling so down. It's so, so hard. I don't wish this on anybody. Bronte is so right about it getting easier. In a weird way, it's gets easier and harder at the same time. I became less obsessive in the 13 months post loss in took us to get pregnant, but more sad. It's just not sustainable to be that obsessed for that long - even if you wanted to be. so you don't think about it as much as time goes on, but I felt a more constant , always with me sadness that never left as opposed to the ups and downs with big sadness around AF time but then new hope. the hope honestly dropped off, but I also got back to normal life. so it has it's pros and cons, and no matter what - it's HARD. so very difficult. sending you and all of the other ladies on here hugs. I know you'll be joining me soon. (even though it doesn't feel like soon, I know!)

 

[kmpreston]

We have a carbon monoxide alarm but it didn't go off! Useless thing

I wondered about iui but the NHS website says it's rarely recommended so I'm guessing that they won't do it with me. They could but I'll be surprised. This is what the NHS website says

 

[beemeck]

wow KM I'm kind of shocked by that! IUI is a lot cheaper and way less invasive than IVF and the success rates here are very high for women that don't fall into any of those 3 categories. Docs pretty much always start out with IUIs unless you have some confirmed issue that renders them pointless. I'm not sure how much play you have with the docs, but I would try to push it if you could. With your late ovulation, I think just monitoring you closely, having you on clomid, doing the trigger shot and washing DHs sperm so you have the best of the best could do the trick. especially considering you've gotten pregnant before! maybe just needs a little tweaking. I went for a year without getting pregnant and then got pregnant on my third IUI. wishing you luck!

 

[BronteForever]

mrs u - I'm so sorry you are still feeling so down. Bee summed up the process wonderfully (goodness Bee - we miss you over here). It is also perfectly acceptable to take breaks in there if you need it, because as she said you just really can't sustain the heartache some months. It's impossible. We took a few months scattered throughout where we didn't BD at all, so we wouldn't have to worry about it. It helped a ton mentally. Do whatever you need to do and hang in there! I'm also confident you will get your rainbow baby; it just might take a bit longer than planned.

And the AMH test is super easy to do and I wish I had done blood test alot sooner to be honest. I think at the same time they tested my FSH, thyroid, prolactin, and testosterone. But honestly I've had alot of blood tests at this point. As mentioned I wish I would have done it sooner. I just got them done at my normal OB's office in their lab.

KM - hopefully they will be able to tell you more when you get referred. And that stinks about the carbon monoxide detector not going off.

 

[kmpreston]

wow KM I'm kind of shocked by that! IUI is a lot cheaper and way less invasive than IVF and the success rates here are very high for women that don't fall into any of those 3 categories. Docs pretty much always start out with IUIs unless you have some confirmed issue that renders them pointless. I'm not sure how much play you have with the docs, but I would try to push it if you could. With your late ovulation, I think just monitoring you closely, having you on clomid, doing the trigger shot and washing DHs sperm so you have the best of the best could do the trick. especially considering you've gotten pregnant before! maybe just needs a little tweaking. I went for a year without getting pregnant and then got pregnant on my third IUI. wishing you luck!

Ye I have no idea why they don't offer it in general as I would much prefer that to IVF. Possibly because it has a lower success rate, possibly because clinics make more money with IVF. I have no chance of requesting a certain treatment, it's unlikely I'll even be given a choice but I will ask

 

[mrs unicorn]

I haven't been on social media for over 2 months. Just went on now to find 2 of my friends (not close enough for a phone call) are pregnant. Aarrrggghhhhh!!

 

[kmpreston]

I haven't been on social media for over 2 months. Just went on now to find 2 of my friends (not close enough for a phone call) are pregnant. Aarrrggghhhhh!!

This sounds like the story of my life: except I can't fathom not going on social media for 2 months. Does this not count?!

Anyway everyone I know is either pregnant or giving birth it would seem

 

[lesondemavie]

It seriously feels like everyone but me is pregnant. I've even had a few friends with known endo who barely had to try at all. Say what? Super happy for them but it just builds on those life isn't fair feelings. I've unfollowed more friends than I can count now. I posted this in my journal but I'll share here too...my hair is going wavy?!? One more change from being pregnant without the happy ending. I'm actually kind of mad and upset about it even though I've wanted some curl to my hair forever. I honestly feel like crying typing this right now. Silly right?

 

[BronteForever]

Oh Les - it's definetly not silly. It makes sense when you say that it's kind of a reminder of what you don't have. That has to be hard right now. Hopefully eventually it can become a good memory, when you are ready for it. Kind of your own built in birthstone bracelet or ring to remember your Gremlin. Or I've contemplated a tattoo on my foot as a reminder. Really hope it can turn into something good...eventually. This sucks in the meantime though.

Mrs U - good for you for staying away from 2 months. So sorry more friends are pregnant. Ugggghh.

 

[beccabonny]

km - glad you got your gas leak fixed! To think it could have been a long-term leak is a scary thought, but at least you caught it! Don’t be afraid to question those doctors….they should at least be able to give you answers on why they have decided to go the route they have. I’m a big fan of explanation and have surely exasperated many medical professionals, but in the end who else is going to look out for us but ourselves?

mrs u - sounds like you look great all the time! I actually bought my first two-piece a couple of years ago and I think I look FAB in it despite being a size 16 now. Of course it covers my problem areas and enhances the ones I like. I never had the confidence to wear one when I was skinny, lol! Good on your 2lbs! I’ve lost mine for the week and am hoping to keep them off as well.

Sorry you’re feeling down. Might as well get all the tests you can - the more info the better, right? Could you just make the appointment and cancel in a few weeks if you don’t need it? Even if you don't want it now, if you change your mind, you'd still have it. I get into those emotional hard places where I just want to walk away from the whole thing, too. Somehow I end up changing my mind, probably because I'd obsess over it otherwise, but if you decide a break is what you need, you should go with your instinct. You'd be able to come back to it refreshed.

2 months away, wow! Bummer to jump back on social media like that and find out 2 people are expecting….one of my friends just announced today as well, but she’d been on pinterest baby pinning for at least two months so I had a feeling. My cousin posting all of her newborn twins are really the only thing getting to me since they would be about three weeks older than mine would have been, but I try to just be happy for her. Sometimes it is not easy to be sad for me instead.

Les - I know I commented on it in your journal, but it’s not silly at all to feel that way. It is upsetting to have all these after effects from pg reminding you of your loss. I’m sure you’ll be able to turn it around one day, but it’s just a little too soon right now, and that is a completely understandable and valid feeling.

 

[BronteForever]

Becca - I've mentioned this before but it's been awhile and I'm sure is buried. Anyway seeing kids the same age or super close to when yours would have been born is definetly the worst. My best friend had a child born within 1-2 weeks of when I was due. She is the hardest kid for me to see in person but also by far one of my most favorite people to visit with. It's honestly been a joy to watch her grow up. It really is hard and I tear up sometimes when I see her photos because it is a constant reminder (there's no way around it). But it can also be a pretty amazing experience to watch someone of the same age grow up.

I'm sure it's even doubly hard since yours were twins as well (seriously what are the odds, you and your cousin would both conceive twins close together?). But I also hope it gets easier with time.

 

[raine87]

I'm pretty lucky that the couple we hang out with the most aren't ready to have kids yet. However, there are several women at work who are pregnant.
Tried to kick off fertile week with a bang. I got out our fertility trinkets (an elephant with his trunk up and a Hawaiian fertility statue) and changed to our green sheets (supposed to bring good fertility vibes). I know it sounds like poppycock but what does it hurt?

 

[beccabonny]

Raine, if guys can stop changing their socks when their favorite teams get into the playoffs, why can't we have our little rituals? Maybe I need to switch my sheets come Friday!

Bronte, I know what you mean about the mixed emotion of joy and pain - I'm sure I'll learn about it even more as time goes by. Despite the pain I'm so happy to see these healthy little babies. I don't know if it's worse with two, because the pain for all of us seems to be off the scale to unfathomable depths of desperation to come back from, regardless.

I know, the twins thing is crazy, right? The only difference being hers were fraternal and mine were identical. Still, kinda neat watching them grow up. Two babies...it seems exhausting!

 

[BronteForever]

Raine - good luck. And your rituals certainly can't hurt. So I think anything is fair game if it helps you get through this process.

 

[Aayla]

Sorry I haven't been too active.

Confirmed today that I am not pregnant. Hcg <1. I am so tired. I just don't know how much more I can take. I think I could go on if my body didn't decide that pregnancy symptoms were now a normal part of my LP. There is having your hopes up like you do every cycle and then willing to bet the farm because you are so sure.

DH wants to continue with letrozole. The onky reason I am willing is because it means I don't have to go on Mirena until IVF. And it is cheaper of course. But I am so tired. I am in my second year now and now I won't have a baby until I am 39.

 

[lesondemavie]

Cute rituals raine!

Aayla I'm so sorry hun. I know that exact feeling of just being tired of it all. I keep thinking about age too. It's always there in our heads, but I think in the end it won't matter so much. Keeping up hope for you girl

 

[BronteForever]

Oh Aayla I am so sorry for you. Huge hugs being sent to you. I'm sure that was a particularly rough blow because you felt so certain. I had a few of those too and it was horrible. This process sucks. And as I mentioned earlier to mrs u there is no shame in taking a month or two break periodically to regroup. I needed that mentally during this process as well. It really can just get to be too much to handle. Hang in there!

 

[lesondemavie]

Early +opk today. Going to try to just roll with it &#128517;