Sorry for the length of this post. I will be on more frequently checking this thread in the future.
Raine - sorry to hear AF came early, like the others said better to have the wait cut short than get your hopes up any more than they usually are. And major congrats on the weight loss! 21lbs is amazing. I think being competitive with others is a great way to do it!
Bronte, I get where you’re coming from on the sweets! Luckily, if I can just have one bit and leave it alone, usually DH will take care of the rest. Yesterday I bought a pie at a local farmer’s market and had one small piece, told him the rest was his. The pie did not last through the evening. I am so envious of that metabolism!
I think Les has a point with calorie tracking. For me, exercise is vital, but I have to be aware of what I’m eating because I have a habit of overdoing it. Always have been an emotional eater. Tracking it makes it harder to go crazy with it. It really does just come down to putting less calories in than you expend, it’s just so HARD to maintain that effort when life throws so many curve balls, and food is always there.
As far as loving your body more, I sometimes struggle with that. One thing I remember is that no matter what size my body has been, I’ve always had issues and thus I need to work on my perceptions rather than hyper focus on what I think I need to fix. When I get down about it, I have to remind myself that I’m really subjecting myself to the unrealistic expectations of a photoshopped pop culture and if it was my job to look like those people and got paid to work out 8 hours a day, I’d be amazing at it. Sadly, I have to work a real job and sit down all day, and so I only fit in my hours as I can.
The first time I lost my weight (weighed more than I do now in high school due to undiagnosed depression), I got down to a size 6 and still had no confidence. It wasn’t until I worked as a hostess at a fine dining restaurant and was forced to be the face of the restaurant I started learning to project that confidence I lacked. In “faking it” I actually did “make it.” Such a strange thing, but I think the reflection of my projected confidence I got from everyone around me in turn assured me that I was actually that confident, and my self esteem went way up. It hasn’t gone down since, except for the odd moment, despite the fact that I’ve at this point gained most of the weight back (factors being leaving my husband in 2011, diet, going off Rxs, mc). I still feel beautiful most of the time. I buy clothes that make me feel good. I get my nails done sometimes, or buy a cool paint that I like and makes me feel pretty. I get my hair done. All the girly things I never felt I deserved. I DO. We all do. It’s not shallow to me, it’s pampering. If I don’t make it to the gym, I at least go on a walk. I do something I’m good at. I remember how when I lived in LA all of the latino guys preferred curvy girls (despite the fact that external factors shouldn’t be the main influence on your self esteem, sometimes it’s nice to be called beautiful!). Sometimes, I look up plus size models and see how confident they look, and they aren’t “normal” body types, which reminds me all women are different, and all beautiful. I try to remember inspirational women in my life. My little sister went through the opposite end of the spectrum with anorexia, and she’s super healthy right now, but still has body issues, so maybe it’s something we can’t get away from, but I think being around other people who have found ways to cope with it can help - just being constantly reminded there are other things in life, as long as you’re living a healthy lifestyle you are doing the best you can and deserve to love yourself, what more can you do?
I’m happy that I’ve stopped my upward swing in weight and can focus on bringing it down now, in a slow, healthy way - no more than 2lb/wk. I prefer weight lifting so I might actually gain first, but it shouldn’t be too much. I was trying to get in my 5 miles a day, but my knees have been injured in the last year and so I can’t cardio with them as much as I used to.
Mrs U - so sorry about your BFN
hugs to you! I’m sure it will happen soon! I’m glad your kitty is better. And yeah, what’s up with the EU Vote? Everyone I know voted the other way!!
aayla - I’ve just read through your journal in the last few days and what a journey you’ve been through so far! I know it must have been so hard, but I have my fx for you too that this is it!! Sorry it’s so frustrating.
km - i hope for your sake you can make it naturally! it seems strange they would go for IVF, but if you do, like bronte said, it takes away many of those factors we worry about. I’ll be following your story!
I had. But decided next time id just go for tests 7 days after O
