TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[lavalux]

Hello Ladies, it's been awhile since my last post (I guess Thursday morning before my doctor's visit which I will share with you in a moment, but I wanted to follow up on some of your individual posts while I have the chance. But first, I'm so glad that the administrators moves our thread back to its old location where it will be easier to find us. Thanks especially to MA & those that contacted the administrators for the respectful, but firm request. It is such a great group and it is wonderful knowing what great advocates can do when they put their minds together. I never got a chance to send the administrators a note so thanks.

Ginger,
I love your new picture. You and DH make the cutest couple. You look super happy together. thanks for explaining the SMEP method. It sounds like what our RE had us doing for our timed intercourse cycle. Lots of BDing, but it was a break from every day for 6 days b/c at least in the beginning, it's every other day & it helps my DH to replenish his swimmies.

Missyt,
So glad that your DH went with you to your appt. Sometimes as much as our hubbies love us and want to support us, they need to hear the medical info from the doctor directly. Not being on the same page as your partner has got to be scary and lonely. Our DHs have their own fears and insecurities about infertility, but if they don't educate themselves, how can they possibly understand what we are going through? I hope that going to the Dr. together gave both of you some piece of mind about the process and your next steps.

Twinkle,
Great news about your regular 28 day cycles. I'm sorry that AF got you too. How are you feeling? You mentioned that you were working on weight loss. Sounds like you've done a great job! Weren't you getting ready for a friend's wedding? I remember you said you were trying on a dress ... maybe a bridesmaid dress? I'm sure you will look amazing.

Skye,
Thanks for the information that you gave me in response to my question about my shortened cycle. After meeting with our RE and looking at some charts & statistics, I learned that at my age (38-40), injectibles with IUI have a SLIGHTLY reduced rate of success than with Clomid & Femara (which have the same rate of success). You were right on when you said that I don't want to focus entirely on just getting more eggs without considering that quality plays an important part too. He said that with Clomid, one can expect to get 2-3 mature follies as opposed to Femara where you typically see 1-2, but that there is no difference when it comes to clinical pregnancy rates at my age. At ages younger than 38, injectibles + IUI have more success than just pills, but that changes at 38. With that said, my doctors suggested that since I've done 2 cycles with femara (1 natural, 1 IUI), we could mix it up and try something different. He said we could either do injectibles or Clomid this time. Considering the cost of injectibles, we went with Clomid this time. If this cycle doesn't work, we can add injectibles. I was happy that he admitted that this isn't an exact science, it's different for everyone, so we need to just monitor me really well and keep trying until we get the right combo.

Thanks, Skye, also for recommending the protein & water to help grow the embies. Apparently my lining is good, but my follies need all the help I can get to grow, grow, grow! By the way, why do you say that the nausea can't be a pregnancy symptom? I've heard that sometimes you have no symptoms and other times the nausea starts days after conception. You never know. I have a really good feeling about your IVF.

B4MJ,
Interesting that you mentioned that progesterone delays AF. I hate the wait of TWW & the last thing I want is to lengthen the wait while giving me false hope of being PG, but since my period came 5 days early this month (giving me only a 10 day luteral phase), my RE has promised to re-test my progesterone levels and give me suppositories if I want them. He said it can't hurt, and can only help. Fun, fun! Do you have a recommendation btn progesterone shots, cream, or suppositories?

MrsJob,
Love that pic of Scarlett. Is she a readhead with blue eyes? That is exactly what DH & I hope to have. She is a beauty!

HA,
that no OPK, no progesterone, no calendar thing sounds awesome. Since I had my trigger shot, my normally perfect BBT chart has gone completely wonky like a bad lie detector test. I am thinking about just giving up on the charting while I'm on a treatment cycle since my temps are all over the place and only stress me out.

I am sorry, HA, that you have been feeling so low. I can't believe you've lost 2 babies, a beloved kitty, moved so far away from friends and family, and have had your infertility struggles on top of everything. Especially with Mother's Day & an anniversary of a loss coming up. No wonder you are feeling down. I am so glad that you are getting counseling and considering an anti-depressant. I used to be on Wellburtrin & apparently, my therapist said that I could stay on it while TTCing if I want b/c it is safer than others. I was also happy to hear that you and your DH have such open lines of communication. I know that he has shared that he's having a crisis of faith, but I think about how the psalmist always railed at God and expressed anger and doubt when they prayed to Him. God can take it! He is strong enough! Even if your DH can't always feel it, God is holding you both in the palm of His hand. He has given you each other and other places to find support. He will see you through this dark valley to the other side and He will rejoice with you when you have you much-deserved baby. I am praying for you and your husband.

Thanks you also, HA, for remembering my shortened cycle issue. My RE said that most likely the meds did not cause my short luteral phase, but since I didn't conceive this time, the progesterone started declining naturally. He definitely explained everything satisfactorily to me & DH. That said, he is making sure to check my lining and follies carefully this cycle so I may have more monitoring checks in the TWW. I will say that after hearing from you that once you started your follitism, you had much heavier, but shorter periods, I do feel that the meds are having some effect. I went from 31 days on the dot, to 27. My period this cycle was so heavy the first day and since it was early I worried that I was having a MC. Two days later, my period is over! Usually, mine were 5 days long. So, obviously ... something is going on.

Never,
Six more days!!! woo hoo. You and Ginger are on the same schedule, right? I've got my fingers and toes crossed for both of you. Lots of prayers going out to my TTW girls.

Luvie,
Hope the resort is amazing & you and DH have a relaxing weekend away. That suite sounds awesome, but be careful about letting DH into the Jacuzzi. I've heard it's not so good for his swimmies. Hope you have lots of fun with the BDing.

Dwrgi,
Thanks for asking about me. You gave me a good laugh with the thought of your knickers being thrown on the stage. I remember my first Duran Duran concert & it was the one with the giant waterfall that sprayed down on the audience during the Reflex! I was soaking wet, but so proud to be sitting up close to the stage. I had crushes on all of them!

So you are on CD 25? You are on the homestretch! Are you trying naturally this cycle, then IVF in June? I hope you don't have to go there, but if you do ... at least you have some helpful, informed ladies like Skye to see you through!

MA,
I'm sure you are really missing Jackson. Especially around Mother's Day. It's so sad. I didn't realize that you had to deliver him. What a heartbreaking experience! I hope that this year, knowing that you are carrying a baby, you are already a mommie. You are carrying this amazing sticky bean. This will be the very last Mother's Day when you won't have a baby in your arms! Think positive! You are a source of inspiration to me! I will be praying for you that your next doctors visit not only gives you some gender news, but also that the cervix is perfectly intact and staying put. By the way ...

I LOVE THE DISNEY WORLD REUNION IDEA!

Nikki,
So you are starting Clomid this cycle? I have switched from Femara to Clomid and I start it tomorrow. I will be on the lookout for muscle/head aches. That's nothing I can't handle. I had a friend who hated it and said she was on monster with hot flashes and terrible moods on Clomid. I hope that isnt' the case for me. I sort of dread the switch b/c I had no side effects from Femara except bloating & ovary pains, but I wanted to try something different and see if my body responded better to the Clomid & produced more mature follies. I hope that we both tolerate the Clomid well and make some juicy mature follies ready for fertilization! Good luck!

Praying,
So sorry AF shoed her ugly mug! I just got mine 5 days early. Take the time you need to regroup and know that we are here for you. We need to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and if it takes time and in my case, lots of chocolate and naps to overcome, then so be it!

onmymind,
Thanks for sharing your experience with IUI. I'm on my 2nd IUI cycle and it helped hearing your story. I'm so sorry that you had your miscarriages and had to suffer that loss! I know that the fact that you can conceive doesn't make it any better when you don't have a baby to show for all your struggle, but it is only a matter of time before you have that sticky bean and deliver a beautiful, healthy baby. I'm so glad you've found us on this thread. I feel the same way about IVF. We do not have the money right now and have decided to stick with several rounds of IUI, then take a long break (like a year) before pursuing frozen donor egg IVF down the road. If we are going to spend that much $, and in light of my "advanced maternal age" (don't you hate that term!!!), it makes more sense to focus now on IUIs and if that doesn't work ... while we save the money for donor egg IVF, maybe a miracle will happen & we will hit that jackpot on our own. My mom had me naturally at 42 so it's possible! Two things that you mentioned in your post that was interesting ... one that you didn't have any PG symptoms despite getting your last BFP. That is always reassuring as I stress over every twinge in the TWW. Also, you said that the lower dose of injectibles wourked better than the higher dose of Gonal F. If this Clomid IUI cycle is unsuccessful, we will add in low doses of injectibles. I will remember your observations.

FM,
Hope you are doing well! Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you!

To anyone else I missed, hugs!!!

 

[lavalux]

Y'all, I forgot to update you on my consult. I really appreciate all of your help in getting ready for it. I feel so much better after talking with the doctor. He really listened and was happy to sit down and debrief our last cycle and see what we could learn from it. Basically he said that he thinks it was a bum cycle, but that everything looked good re: lining, progesterone, estrogen, etc. He said that having more than 1 mature follie doesn't necessarily mean a lower rate of success than 2 or 3. He showed us a chart of success rates for IUI with Clomid, Femara, & Injectibles by age and in my group, they were all about the same, with injectibles being slightly lower by a few percentage points. Obviously, IVF would give us a better chance of success, but he did not push up once we told him we couldn't afford it now. Instead, he suggested trying different things and doing a few more IUI cycles. We will do one with Clomid, and if necessary, one or two adding in injectibles. Another thing we learned is that in my age group (38-40), there is only a negligible chance of triplets or high order multiples with medicated IUIs. There's a slightly greater chance of twins, but we are ok with that. They are more cautious with injectibles & IUIs in women under the age of 35 b/c of the high rate of triplets+ so they always have to discuss selective reduction in those cases, but we don't need to worry about it. He also said that they may have triggered me too soon so they are going to push it back a day and see if I surge on my own. We also got more information about donor egg IVF and I am happy to know that my DH & I have that as our Plan B! My clinic has both frozen and fresh donor IVF and there have been so many advances in science in the last few years that the gap btn success rates for fresh and frozen donor IVF is closing rapidly. Frozen is only $8K not including meds, storage, freezing, and ICSI if needed and the prescription costs are less. Fresh is more than $16,500 not including those same costs listed above. That is a lot more money. Anyway, since there is no pressure to beat the clock with donor eggs, we can take more time in getting there. But, I hope that we can have a biological baby on our own. It's funny, but I was completely against donor eggs until recently. A girl has the right to change her mind, doesn't she? I know DH is happy that we won't be risking our financial security to get there and having us on the same page is so important to me.

I am going to see my friend tomorrow who had a baby on her own after getting pg with this young guy she was dating. He's no longer in the picture. She doesn't know what is going on with me and she annoys me whenever I talk to her ... demanding to know when we are going to produce a playmate for her baby and forcing me to hold her daughter. I have no problem holding another friend's baby, but for some reason that doesn't bother me. The insensitive comments that this friend makes really sets my teeth on edge and I must admit I've been avoiding her lately, but I am going to suck it up and have a short visit while I feel strong enough right now to do it. Wish me luck!

This was a lot of info, so if you've read this far, thanks for sticking with me! Everyone have a great weekend! Love you ladies!

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Glad you found out what your next protocal will be and came up with a plan. Clomid never worked for me because I have PCOS. While there are a few PCOS women who have conceived with it alone, my body sadly didn't cooperate which is why I ended up with injectables. I'm told those of us who don't respond to clomid are better candidates for injectables. Seems as though that's the truth as I only produced just one follie with it and the higher the dose I got, the worse my follies did. Women with PCOS have issues ovulating. I honestly get so confused with the way my body is. I can't even chart because the temps are all over the place.

I have to say, I didn't know injectables were less effective in women 38 and older. I'm 37 in May and had hoped to try again a year after we gave birth to this one. I've heard where women with PCOS of all ages (polycystic ovarian syndrome) have actually used injectables and HAVE gotten pregnant so I'm not sure if that's another fluke or if for some reason women with PCOS just seem to do better with the help of injectables or not. You've given me some things to research for a later date. Very interesting.

I'm SO glad that you came up with a new protocal and am hoping that Clomid works even better than the other drug you were on. My friend got pregnant with Clomid both times she tried. So it DOES work with some women but your Dr. is right, as I've said before, everyones body is SO different and you have to find the right doseage of the right drug for you. So even when you don't see the response you'd like you have to keep your chin up as you already know. It's such a patience process and gets so frustrated.

Alright! So I'm looking forward to lurking in on you all and seeing some progress with your journeys. I'll be praying behind the scenes too.

Lava, I'm glad you came to update, I've been wondering how that appointment went and am glad you came out feeling more confident!

 

[missyt]

Prayingtogod, I'm so sorry AF came. Take your time to get your head in a good place. Don't forget to go out and do some things you enjoy. You deserve a boost.

Baby4MJ, I would love to hear any advice you have on FMLA and infertility treatments. I looked up my company's policies and we have STD. I think I may call HR on Monday but I called my nurse to email me the protocol for IVF so I'll know what to expect as far at time off. What bothered me when I told my manager (which is on the client site, not my company manager), he said to let him know all my appointments ahead time. I said it all depended on how I was reacting to the meds. He still couldn't seem to get it through his head when I told him that. Its so frustrating with people who never had to go through this.

Onmymind, I agree with MA, that RE saying you have old eggs is rubbish. My dogs' vet just got pregnant a few months ago at 47. And it happened all on their own. I'm really tired of hearing the old eggs bit when you see women in their 40's getting pregnant often. It isn't a rare scenario anymore.

Lava, that is great you guys are looking at all options. I think a huge help is doing the research and knowing what all the options are. I was worried as well about affording IVF. But I did some research and you can write the expenses off on your taxes as long as all the expenses equate to 7.5% of your income. That includes medication and mileage to the clinic for each visit. Oh, and once again I am so annoyed with people that get pregnant so easily and try to pressure you. Just because it happened easy for your friend doesn't give her the right to expect it to happen to you overnight and nag you about it. I have little patience for people like that.

Skye, does that mean you are testing this Wednesday coming up?

 

[skye2010]

Ginger where are you at with your cycle at the moment?

Nikki good luck with this cycle. I hope it works. But why are you not getting monitored? Is that safe? Also how would you know the effects of it if you don't get scanned? (If you had enough mature eggs etc?) How do you know what dosage?

Lava, I'm really glad that your appointment went really well. Your RE is an attentive guy and he is happy to share any information with you, and he is not pushy. That's very very good. Your decision with the donor egg definitely takes the stress away from you a little. Since you won't be rushing into anything. I really hope you could have your pretty "Red haired blue eyed baby girl" you dream about with your own eggs. I beleive that you could have a success if you can hit the right combo of drugs so it really is worth giving it a few more tries. If not a donor egg baby will still be your baby in the same way.

I don't have a suggestion with the insensitive friend. I just avoid those situations at all costs. I get really aggressive and find it stressful trying to make an unpleasant comment (even irrelevant), and dwell on it for the next few days. So it is better for me not to go in there. Honestly if it upsets you too much just make an excuse and depart.

Thank you for the encouragement btw. I really hope that this is going to work. I am still ridiculously bloated after having 6 litres of water yesterday. The dr had said bloating can be a sign of BFP too. So I really hope so but I just don't want to get up my hopes too much.

One more thing I think it's a good idea not to temp while you are doing the tx and completely focus on that.

Missy it took my Dh a few stints to understand that he can't plan an IVF schedule by the book. Let alone a manager who is completely new to the idea. So it looks like you have a tough time with this guy. If you can sort it out with the HR rather than educating this guy, it would be great.

YEEEAH I am testing on Wednesday... )

AFM I'm really annoyed with DH. He doesn't understand that I am not feeling good unless I would turn green. Even than he just tries to make sure he gets what he needs first. So when I say I can't do that cause I don't feel well he thinks I am being a diva and just being difficult. We drove to a cafe 20 mins drive away from our house so he can have that particular coffee in the morning and the road bumps on the way almost made me throw up. I feel like I swallowed a big football. My stomach, stretched to it's limit, vibrates even when I sneeze. ;(

 

[lynnb]

I'm back from my sisters but absolutely knackered so I'm going for a sleep. Will try to catch up either later today or tomorrow, just wanted to pop in & send you all love, &

 

[skye2010]

I'm overbloated again. I think I might just explode any minute

 

[Mommy's Angel]

I'm overbloated again. I think I might just explode any minute

your Dr.'s right, I don't want to get your hopes up too much but overstimulating can mean you can be pregnant. I'm praying REALLY HARD Skye!! It feels awful but so worth it.

 

[skye2010]

Thank you MA I started crying cause my stomach is so stretched it hurts. FM had mentioned a drink called Gatorade. I'm gonna send Dh to go buy it for me. I hope I can manage to drink it. I can't drink sweet stuff usually but I will just close my nose and swallow.

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Gatorade isn't all that sweet, if anything it has more sodium in it which gives you the electrolytes your body needs. I don't know if they have it in your area but they also have G2 out which is sugar free.

 

[skye2010]

MA thank you so much hon. I got my hands into gatorade and drank 1,5 bottles+ 2 paracetamol. The pain has eased. The bloating hasn't gone down completely but I think it's a little better. I'll check out G2 tomorrow.

FM thank you as well, u really saved me tonight.

I'm going to sleep now. It's always better in the morning. xxx

 

[lavalux]

Skye,
I hope that Gatorade & a good night's sleep does the trick. I am so excited for you. I will be stalking the site on Wednesday since you will be testing! All this bloating will be so worth it once you get that BFP! Sweet Dreams.

 

[Mommy's Angel]

FM, that was a pretty awesome idea. Never heard of gatorade doing the trick like that. I'll have to keep that in mind.

Well, I'm going to take a nap. I havent been sleeping very well. I could use a few cat naps if that's what will do the trick.

Love to you all!

 

[caroleb73]

Hey Skye sorry that I am not on here as much as before but guess I have taken a step back from it all since the m/c. I am so excited for your results and I will pray that you get your BFP this time. I feel for the painful and bloatedness as I remember that part well but it will all be worth it when you get that positive result.

Rebekkah I am so over the moon for your news of BFP. It shows that we should never give up no matter how tough it gets as good things can happen at any time when we are least expecting it. I will definitely be keeping an eye on your BFP journal to see how you and your baby bump are doing.

AFM I saw a new Dr here in Bahrain last week that several of my Arab friends recommended and thought I would go and check him out. I was nervous at first and not a fan as his office was crazy and hectic and he was running very late for appointments. I guess it wasn't like the serene calm I had enjoyed back home. When I met him though it was a different feeling, I instantly had a good feeling about him. He answered my questions thoroughly and did not give me the pushy sales pitch that I have had from others here and then he asked me what I wanted to do. He scanned me and was very pleased with my follicle count. I am now about to embark on my 2nd attempt of IVF and this time i will try the long protocol again but this time not with the nasal sprays to down reg but injections as last time my cycle got cancelled due to the sprays not working. I am taking a host of meds now to prep me including baby asprin from now to help prevent another miscarriage if I am lucky enough to get pregnant again and metaformin as he said that this will help to improve the quality of eggs even more. Down reg injections on the 14th of May and then stimming starts on 23rd May.

It has all been a bit of a whirlwind but I am glad that it is happening so quickly as I have less time to think about it. I am going to do my best to put the m/c to the back of my mind and see this as an opportunity to get my baby for keeps this time. Just really hoping that it works again as this guy is ready with a whole host of injections and meds to prevent another m/c buy kinda scared that I will not be as lucky this time. Oh well it is out of my hands as God will decide what is to be, all I can do is remain calm, eat well and rest.

Wishing all the ladies on here all the luck in the world and hoping that your struggle to become a Mummy ends soon

 

[lavalux]

Carole,
I'm so sorry about your loss this past December. I have never had a M/C so I can only imagine what you must have gone through. Thanks for sharing your new protocol. I pray that this one gives you a sticky bean & a healthy, happy baby to hold. Good luck with the meds!

 

[missyt]

Skye, I hope you are feeling better. I'm glad the Gatorade did the trick.

Caroleb, fx'd this IVF cycle works and you have your baby in the end. I might not be that far behind you with the IVF treatments.

 

[skye2010]

CaroleB thank you for your kind words and encouragement, I'm so happy you are trying again. I know it is a big step for you after what happened last year. I really hope this would be your month. Please try to look at this cycle as fresh and not be disheartened with the previous one so much. I know it is harder than it is said but all first fertility treatments is like a learning curb. IVF is a lot more intense than IUI but all the same, being successful in the first one is not so easy. The women I cycled here had 2-3 attempts before success. I'm also glad that you have found a trustworthy clinic where you are. Otherwise it is much more stressful for you. It saves you from flying while pregnant too. Good luck hon.

I went to the clinic this morning and had a scan. My ovaries are pretty swollen with fluid due to having 21 eggs. I had told you that I was recomended to drink 2,5 litres of water during stimms which increased towards the end of stimms and egg collection. This helps washing all the excess hormones to build up but also washes off the fluid that ovaries retain. I was also told to take 1 liter of milk everyday. I'm lactose intolerant and I stopped drinking after my egg collection. I tried to consume equivelant amount protein. However these last couple of days I was too lazy to fix myself any decent protein rich food. Apparently I still needed the protein because the fluid that got retained in the ovaries had protein, salt and minerals in it. So my body was losing that. he Gatorade helped with retaining the minerals. Just like dehydration powder sachets we take when we get severe diarrhea or vomiting. That's why I was more and more swollen and in pain. I now have a bottle of Gatorade in hand (Could be any dehydration water) and had a big salty steak lunch. I feel much much better.

The good news is the dr said "This is probably a sign of pregnancy" ))) Yaaaaaaaay

"The bad news is it might get worst before it gets better." Next time I have such a bad bloating as yesterday I will have to go to A&E where they can give me a dehydration serum and maybe a stronger dose of blood thinner depending on my blood count. The treatment wouldn't harm the pregnancy (if I am) which I feared the most.

I wanted to share this cause there is a few woman on this thread who is going to start IVF soon so in case if anyone has a similar issue they would know about it.

IUI also has a hyperstimmulation scare so the logic is the same. Lot's of water and proteins.

Lava have you started already? Good luck hon, thank you for the encouragement. Hope I wouldn't disappoint you all

Thank you Missy, hope you are letting all that steam of work this weekend and relaxing
xxx

 

[Tititimes2]

skye - just wanted to wish you lots and lots of luck honey and one BFP!

xoxo

 

[Neversaynever]

Skye...I'm so excited for you!

Caroleb... I have also suffered a mc and know how devastating they are I also know how hard it is to try again, even though having a baby is the thing you want more than anything. I'm gals you feel happier with the new clinic, we're all here to support you. Might be different names to when you originally came on here but we are all in this together

Lynneb...good to have you back, hope you had a lovely time?

Gingerbread and FM...how're you holding up?!

Lava...I'm happy you feel better about the new path you MAY take in the future. You'll get your baby before you know it

Nikki, Padbrat, luv, Dwrgi and Jocr and

Well I caved and tested last night and got a bfn. I felt out anyway and I'm fine with it this time. I know I'm only 9/10 DPO but I think you do just know. I feel exactly he same as last month.

Onwards and upwards

XxX

 

[Neversaynever]

Wow titi...13 weeks already!! Hope you're feeling good

XxX