TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[Baby4MJ]

Exactly, MA! It is so nice to have a site where everyone is the same age. And yes, Baby4MJ, it would be a little weird to have a giant band poster on the wall now, but it's funny to think about it. I had movie posters in my bedroom - The Sure Thing (with John Cusak), Breakfast Club, and Oxford Blues (Rob Lowe was so dreamy).

Thanks for the advise on progesterone. You ladies are well informed. My doctor comes out on the side of the progesterone production ending b/c there was no pregnancy, but I'll try the progesterone suppositories just in case. I haven't had any Clomid side effects so far, 3 more nights to go on them, but I keep thinking that this is baby stuff (no pun intended) compared to the IVF protocol!

Skye,
Good news ... keep us posted.

Baby4MJ,
We are the same age, and our husbands' ages are close too. I know that we will have our babies one day and this wait will be worth it!!! Did you do one IUI? I hope you don't mind me asking, but how did you know when it was a good time to take a break? That's sort of a personal questions, so do not feel obligated to answer. I think that we will do one more IUI if necessary in June, then break & replenish the baby fund.

Hope everyone has a great week!

Hi, lavalux -

I actually found 2 Rob Lowe posters with the Duran Duran poster while cleaning out my closet. One from St. Elmo's Fire and some other random shot of him without his shirt on. My my my...

I do hope/pray you're right that we will have our babies one day (soon hopefully!)...sometimes I start to get a bit worn down by it all, but I always try to pick myself up and try try again. My well-meaning but not so on top of things stepbrother told me this weekend that the hubs and I just need to have more sex and I'll be preggo in no time. Um, ok. If only I had known we needed to have sex to make a baby I would've saved myself all this time and heartache. ERGH! But I digress...

We did do just one IUI, which we were CONVINCED was going to result in a BFP, but when it didn't, after having been through 4 months of meds with not a single BFP, and thinking about how awful the IUI drugs made me feel (I basically had all preg symptoms for 2 weeks), and probably just where my head was at the time I got the "I'm sorry, but you're not pregnant..." call from the nurse, I felt like it was a good time to give my mind and body a break. I had also just started fertility acupuncture at that same time, so I figured I'd give that a chance on its own. Also the IUI meds are expensive, and I was told by my RE nurse they would permit only 3 IUIs total. Acupuncture is half the cost and not as stressful to body or mind (not stressful in the least, actually). Also, my acupuncturist told me that, although he has been successful with clients who were TTC using western medicine protocol (e.g., IUI, IVF, etc) and those who were not, his greatest success was with those who were not following western medical protocol, with his oldest success being a 43-yr old woman who became naturally and successfully preg within 3 months of acupuncture treatment. I'm beginning my 3rd month of acupuncture treatment now, so here's hoping!

We, too, have a baby fund and I try not to dip into if I can help it (it was supposed to be the beginnings of a college fund - oh well! No baby, no college right?)

to all of us!

 

[luvmydoggies]

Hi Girls!

Got back from Big Bear yesterday. It was so fun. Dh is a VW car enthusiast. So we went up there for this huge VW event. The entire resort hotel was booked by everyone that was up there for the show. He knows a lot of the people and I am slowly starting to get to know more myself. We had some great bd on Fri. Then let our friends crash with us Sat. (so no bd) We didn't use the jacuzzi, so no boiling of the it just did not work out but we had the fire going and lot's of good conversation with friends. Then, came back and spent Mother's Day with my Mom which, was lovely.

Missy- Glad your going to find out through your HR about the time you would need for IVF. Your manager sounds so frustrating.

Lynnb- Glad your back!

Neversaynever- So sorry to hear about bfn.

SKYE- SO EXCITED!!!! I can't wait for your post on Wed.

Lava & FM & Baby4mj- I think your in the 2ww...babydust

Dwrgi- Your so sweet. It was a fab weekend. Loved that you said you would throw your knickers on stage at Duran Duran. I would too.

Ginger- How are you doing? Remind me, your doing another IUI right? Have you already had it done?

MommysAngel- Excited for you to find out if your baby is a boy or girl

HappyAuntie- Love George Michael!!!! I still love to listen to him sing. I didn't want to believe it either, when he came out.

hi Twinkle ,CheshirePanda, onmymind17 and anyone else I missed.

 

[Baby4MJ]

Hi Girls!

HappyAuntie- Love George Michael!!!! I still love to listen to him sing. I didn't want to believe it either, when he came out.

Ahhhh, George Michael. How did I not know, watching him bounce around in his short-shorts and his "WHAM!" t-shirt that he played for the other team, and that our love would never be? I think the bigger shocker, however, was finding out that Andrew Ridgeley is straight as an arrow and married! Such confusing times...

 

[onmymind17]

Hi Girls!

Got back from Big Bear yesterday. It was so fun. Dh is a VW car enthusiast. So we went up there for this huge VW event. The entire resort hotel was booked by everyone that was up there for the show. He knows a lot of the people and I am slowly starting to get to know more myself. We had some great bd on Fri. Then let our friends crash with us Sat. (so no bd) We didn't use the jacuzzi, so no boiling of the it just did not work out but we had the fire going and lot's of good conversation with friends. Then, came back and spent Mother's Day with my Mom which, was lovely.

Missy- Glad your going to find out through your HR about the time you would need for IVF. Your manager sounds so frustrating.

Lynnb- Glad your back!

Neversaynever- So sorry to hear about bfn.

SKYE- SO EXCITED!!!! I can't wait for your post on Wed.

Lava & FM & Baby4mj- I think your in the 2ww...babydust

Dwrgi- Your so sweet. It was a fab weekend. Loved that you said you would throw your knickers on stage at Duran Duran. I would too.

Ginger- How are you doing? Remind me, your doing another IUI right? Have you already had it done?

MommysAngel- Excited for you to find out if your baby is a boy or girl

HappyAuntie- Love George Michael!!!! I still love to listen to him sing. I didn't want to believe it either, when he came out.

hi Twinkle ,CheshirePanda, onmymind17 and anyone else I missed.

Hi and welcome back, i am glad to see you had a wonderful time away, i am so jealous!!! Now fingers are crossed for a little souviner from your trip lol.

 

[onmymind17]

Ladies thank you all so much for the comments that my eggs are not too old. That is what i think too. I really believe after reading a ton on the internet that they were using to much fertility drugs. I am starting to see that more and more that no only do they not really work all that well for ladies my age, but they actually do more harm than good. For all of my IUI's i would have at least 14 eggs between the two sides, it was getting more than one to grow that was the problem lol. I do believe that i will take your advice and look into a different RE. This one that i was seeing, just did not want to bother with me, you see i mess up his numbers when i dont get pg and stay pg, so they just did not want to try anymore. I really believe it can happen for all of us. I started on CoQ10 last night, and i have been reading a lot about Royal Jelly, what do you ladies thing about it, is it worth me giving it a shot? Oh and just so you know, i threw out the Soy Isoflavons lol.

 

[luvmydoggies]

Hi Girls!

Got back from Big Bear yesterday. It was so fun. Dh is a VW car enthusiast. So we went up there for this huge VW event. The entire resort hotel was booked by everyone that was up there for the show. He knows a lot of the people and I am slowly starting to get to know more myself. We had some great bd on Fri. Then let our friends crash with us Sat. (so no bd) We didn't use the jacuzzi, so no boiling of the it just did not work out but we had the fire going and lot's of good conversation with friends. Then, came back and spent Mother's Day with my Mom which, was lovely.

Missy- Glad your going to find out through your HR about the time you would need for IVF. Your manager sounds so frustrating.

Lynnb- Glad your back!

Neversaynever- So sorry to hear about bfn.

SKYE- SO EXCITED!!!! I can't wait for your post on Wed.

Lava & FM & Baby4mj- I think your in the 2ww...babydust

Dwrgi- Your so sweet. It was a fab weekend. Loved that you said you would throw your knickers on stage at Duran Duran. I would too.

Ginger- How are you doing? Remind me, your doing another IUI right? Have you already had it done?

MommysAngel- Excited for you to find out if your baby is a boy or girl

HappyAuntie- Love George Michael!!!! I still love to listen to him sing. I didn't want to believe it either, when he came out.

hi Twinkle ,CheshirePanda, onmymind17 and anyone else I missed.

Hi and welcome back, i am glad to see you had a wonderful time away, i am so jealous!!! Now fingers are crossed for a little souviner from your trip lol.

Thank you!!! I hope we did.

 

[HappyAuntie]

Hi all

I'm so glad to have found this thread....joined BnB yesterday but its good to speak with others who are older....I'm 38 (as is my partner) and have been TTC for 5 cycles now.

If you know success stories of us older women getting succesful, please share them! My partner and I are worried we've left it too late

Welcome, CheshirePanda! I'm glad you found our little thread.

For some success stories, check out our "graduates" thread here. They are a whole group of women who started here and moved over there, including a 38yo now pregnant with triplets with the help of drugs and IUI, and a 39yo pregnant with a singleton the "old-fashioned" way. So yes, it happens - it really, really does! For women over 35, the only things that we have to be prepared to deal with is that a) it will likely take us a little longer to get a bfp than it will take the average youngster, and b) we have a higher risk of mc (miscarriage) due to chromosomal problems with the baby. But don't let that discourage you - a "higher" risk of mc does NOT mean the same thing as a "high" risk of mc... something like 25% of all pregnancies end in mc, but you have to turn that statistic around and look at it from the other direction - that means that 75% of all pregnancies turn out just fine!

I see you're on your 5th cycle now - have you been checked out by an RE (reproductive endocrinologist, aka FS or fertility specialist) yet? The general guideline for women over 35 is to fully get checked out by a specialist after 6 months of well-timed, unprotected sex with no bfp (big fat positive) just to make sure everything's in good working order. So if you haven't yet, you might want to go ahead and make that appt just so you don't get to 6 mths without success and then have to wait to get in to the dr. The standard workup is a whole boatload of blood tests and maybe a sonogram or xray - nothing to worry about in the grand scheme of things, so don't let those concerns stop you from getting checked out.

Welcome to our little corner of the internet!

 

[HappyAuntie]

And as for the George Michael comments, ladies I am literally LOLing!!!! I am so glad I wasn't the only one blindsided by his true colors - maybe we need another support thread for girls who will never recover from that disappointment!!

Have any of you seen the movie Music & Lyrics? It's a romantic comedy that came out a few years back starring Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore, based on an Andrew Ridgeley-like character. I love it! It's funny and has some great pop music, but it's worth watching just for the music video at the very beginning - fantastic spoof of several classic Wham videos - Wham fans will love it!!

 

[luvmydoggies]

And as for the George Michael comments, ladies I am literally LOLing!!!! I am so glad I wasn't the only one blindsided by his true colors - maybe we need another support thread for girls who will never recover from that disappointment!!

Have any of you seen the movie Music & Lyrics? It's a romantic comedy that came out a few years back starring Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore, based on an Andrew Ridgeley-like character. I love it! It's funny and has some great pop music, but it's worth watching just for the music video at the very beginning - fantastic spoof of several classic Wham videos - Wham fans will love it!!

I never saw that movie. I will put it in my Netflix, so I can watch it.

 

[lavalux]

HA,
ooh, I love Hugh Grant too so I will definitely rent that! Baby4MJ hit the nail on the head. With George Michael gay and Andrew Ridgley straight it is a confusing world!

Welcome Cheshire Panda. I'm so glad you found us! My husband (DH) & I have been actively trying since Jan. so we are on our 5th cycle too. We had protected sex for the first time in late Oct, but I didn't quite get the whole ovulation calendar thing. Now, I've been using a basal thermometer & Clear Blue Easy Digital OPKs (or ovulation prediction kit) to help me figure out when to do all our BDing. Are you using those?

Baby4MJ,
Good luck with the acupuncture. My fertility clinic has one on staff, but I'm too chicken to try it. Although I've gotten pretty good at surviving the needles at the doctor considering I have passed out before giving blood. Maybe it's another fear that I'm destined to overcome. I like yoga for relaxing. I'm sorry that all the IUI meds make you sick. Were you also on progesterone? I've heard that is awful and makes you feel pg when you aren't necessarily. Every BFN is a let down, definitely, but I do believe that we will get our babies in the end, but it might take longer than we imagined.
Your step-brother's comment is ridiculous. It's like ... really, that's all you got in the way of advice? Have sex more! If only it were that simple. Sometimes I have this attitude that I shouldn't have to go through all of this expense & procedure to (maybe) get pregnant, but then I have to think about when I was single and wondered when I would meet a guy that I really loved and could imagine living with for the rest of my life. Now it all makes sense in retrospect. I needed to wait until the right guy for me came along and the wait made me appreciate him all the more. I think in a year or two, when I'm celebrating mother's day with a child of my own, that it will all be worth it! Our times will come! In the meantime, we've got some great girls on this thread, with some excellent taste in 80's music & movies! LOL

 

[missyt]

Welcome Cheshirepanda! You found the right group of ladies.

Never, boo for the BFN. AF is just around the corner for me too. I have learned as well to be a little more calmer about it.

Skye, all your symptoms sound so promising! I'm so excited for you!

HA, you always have the best advice. You are a wealth of knowledge and you can tell you do your research.

Onmymind, I have another story that will give you a boost. We have a new boss at my work who is 47 years old and pregnant with twins! She already has a 2 1/2 year old. I don't know her well enough to ask her about it but it sure made me feel better seeing that she is an older mom. She isn't the only 47 year old I know that is pregnant. My dogs' vet is also pregnant at 47.

Hello to anyone I missed!

AFM, I'm seriously rethinking the IVF. Because we have so much going on, I think I want to put it off still and try a few more IUI's. I have a lot going on at work and to be honest, I just want to enjoy the summer and not mess up any vacation plans. We plan on going up to MA to see my family in August. Since we live far from them I don't see them much. Not only that, DH and I have a lot of little projects we want to do around the house. These all take time and money. And on top of all that, I think DH and I could really use a mini-vacation of our own. When we first started dating we went to an isolated log cabin in the Shenondoah Valley. We really would love to do that again. After reading every thing other women go through, I want to be refreshed and relaxed when I do IVF. I don't want to worry about work, home projects, money or things DH and I should've done before we try IVF.

 

[Dwrgi]

Hi Girls! Just checking in to say that I tested this morning and got the dreaded

I am sooooooo disappointed and so dejected. I really do not want to go through the stress of IVF as I don't cope very well with stress at the best of times...... But it doesn't lok as if I have any choice. Over the weekend, when I just guessed that was coming, I basically had a complete wobbly and told my OH that I didn't want to go ahead with IVF, I wanted to go to see my brother in Oz instead. I was basically in denial... head in the sand and it will go away, but it won't of course.... I have to deal with this bad news better but after three and a half years that is really hard. I don't want to not be a mother, but it is a real possibility. And then what am I about????

And to make matters worse, a colleague of mine told me this morning that she is preggers-had only just started trying. People tell me that all the time-a male coleague said he and his fiancee can't wait to start trying for a baby... and I think that nobody knows what I am going through and how each comment is like a dagger through my heart..... It is the worst thing I have ever had to go through.

I'm sorry to be so down... just think I'm running out of time....

Skye-I'm really keeping my fingers crossed for you.. Did you relent and buy the test??? I wouldn't be able to wait either!!

To everybody else, hope you're all okay....

and to us all.

 

[lynnb]

Right here goes my catch up, sorry if I miss anyone but 20ish pages is a lot to take in

Welcome to Baby4MJ, onmymind17 & CheshirePanda. Glad you've found this thread, the ladies on here are really supportive and give great advice.

Lava - Sorry AF arrived & good luck with this cycle

MA – So glad you’re still here

Never & Ginger & FM – Keeping everything crossed for you all. I didn’t feel pregnant at all this time I got BFP, so don’t rule yourselves out yet.

HA - Glad to see you're still lurking & giving out wonderful advice, your always in my thoughts

Nikki - Sorry AF showed, hope the clomid works for you hun

Luv – Sounds like you had a good time away, glad to have you back though

Skye -Glad your scare was only due to not drinking enough & that you're feeling better. Have you tested yet & if not why?

Pad – Sorry to hear about your MIL. Hope your appointment on 23rd gives you some answers & peace.

Dwrgi - You're not out yet, please try & stay positive. I know that ttc is very stressful & depressing at times but it will be worth it. Also you are not running out of time, I'm 39 too & don't think of myself as old or past it.

Twinkle - Sorry AF showed. Lurk away, we miss you

Missy – Putting off IVF sounds like a good idea, as you as you want to be refreshed & relaxed when you do it, hope you manage to fit in that vacation, it sounds great.

Carole – So nice to hear from you. Good luck with this cycle.

AFM well, apart from a couple of episodes of nausea & really sore boobies, I don't feel pregnant at all. I have no bloating, no constipation (tmi sorry) & no other symptoms, not sure if this is a good sign but still managing to keep a positive attitude so far.

Loads of sticky to all

 

[gingerbread]

Dwrgi I tested this morn with a BFN also Im 12dpo but feeling crampy so the witch is on her way. Im dreading the move to IVF also and might take the next one or two cycles off. I feel your pain hun

Skye its killing me waiting for your BFP!!!

Welcom cheshirepanda

Everything crossed for those still in the wait
Bigs hugs for those who were visited by the big ugly witch!

 

[Rowan75]

fingers crossed for everyone in the 2ww x

 

[Dwrgi]

Dwrgi I tested this morn with a BFN also Im 12dpo but feeling crampy so the witch is on her way. Im dreading the move to IVF also and might take the next one or two cycles off. I feel your pain hun

Skye its killing me waiting for your BFP!!!

Welcom cheshirepanda

Everything crossed for those still in the wait
Bigs hugs for those who were visited by the big ugly witch!

Thanks Ginger! It is a really horrible feeling isn't it? Not just physical but psychological too.... Hope your cramps go soon. Thinking of you!
Lots of to you!
x

 

[FutureMommie]

CheshirePanda- Welcome

Missyt- I know you will make the right decision for you guys. I hope the IUI's work so that you don't have to move on to IVF!

Dwrgi- sorry that you got a bfn, we have been trying for 3.5 years too and it does get hard and you wonder if it will ever happen but it will, we just can't give up. One of the hardest thing for me is to remove my own time clock, In these past 3 years I've always said I don't want to be 40 but I really have no control over it. I hope that you can find it within to keep going, don't give up on your dream! I know I'm not becuase I know that I will regret it in the end.

MJ- I hope the acupuncture does the trick

Luv- glad you and dh had a great trip

Ginger- Ugh....sorry you got a bfn

afm- I could test today but I think I will hold off, AF is officially due tomorrow and I'm feeling a little crampy so the witch is probably on her way so it will be back to injections and and IUI this month if the witch shows tomorrow.

 

[missyt]

dwrgi, I know this is such a tough time and every bfn and af arrival is devastating. My RE recommended IVF too but I know I'm not ready right now. I strongly believe you have to feel ready emotionally, financially and physically to go through IVF. I understand how you feel with all the pregnancy news. I avoid Facebook now because I'm drained from crying over seeing all the pregnancy or birth announcements. Hang in there and big hugs.

Ginger, I hate that you got a bfn. Take all the time you want to brood. We'll get our bfp someday soon. We just have to be patient.

Lynnb, good to hear from you!

FM, I feel AF coming soon but I'm due on Sunday. I plan on starting another IUI cycle when AF finally arrives. I refuse to test too. I'm over it. It just adds to my anxiety.

AFM, I'm feeling excited because I booked our secluded cabin in the mountains weekend for DH and I. I even signed us up for a wine tasting tour as there are a lot of vineyards in the area. I'm so looking forward to this and we so need it.

 

[onmymind17]

Welcome Cheshirepanda! You found the right group of ladies.

Never, boo for the BFN. AF is just around the corner for me too. I have learned as well to be a little more calmer about it.

Skye, all your symptoms sound so promising! I'm so excited for you!

HA, you always have the best advice. You are a wealth of knowledge and you can tell you do your research.

Onmymind, I have another story that will give you a boost. We have a new boss at my work who is 47 years old and pregnant with twins! She already has a 2 1/2 year old. I don't know her well enough to ask her about it but it sure made me feel better seeing that she is an older mom. She isn't the only 47 year old I know that is pregnant. My dogs' vet is also pregnant at 47.

Hello to anyone I missed!

AFM, I'm seriously rethinking the IVF. Because we have so much going on, I think I want to put it off still and try a few more IUI's. I have a lot going on at work and to be honest, I just want to enjoy the summer and not mess up any vacation plans. We plan on going up to MA to see my family in August. Since we live far from them I don't see them much. Not only that, DH and I have a lot of little projects we want to do around the house. These all take time and money. And on top of all that, I think DH and I could really use a mini-vacation of our own. When we first started dating we went to an isolated log cabin in the Shenondoah Valley. We really would love to do that again. After reading every thing other women go through, I want to be refreshed and relaxed when I do IVF. I don't want to worry about work, home projects, money or things DH and I should've done before we try IVF.

See now i love to hear things like that!!! Thanks so much for that boost, i know this can happen, i think for me i need to step back and just relax about it, stop obsessing over it you know. This will work for all of us!!! Oh and lol, i had to laugh, when you said they were both 47 the thought popped into my head oh oh i still have a few more years left lol.

 

[onmymind17]

Hi Girls! Just checking in to say that I tested this morning and got the dreaded

I am sooooooo disappointed and so dejected. I really do not want to go through the stress of IVF as I don't cope very well with stress at the best of times...... But it doesn't lok as if I have any choice. Over the weekend, when I just guessed that was coming, I basically had a complete wobbly and told my OH that I didn't want to go ahead with IVF, I wanted to go to see my brother in Oz instead. I was basically in denial... head in the sand and it will go away, but it won't of course.... I have to deal with this bad news better but after three and a half years that is really hard. I don't want to not be a mother, but it is a real possibility. And then what am I about????

And to make matters worse, a colleague of mine told me this morning that she is preggers-had only just started trying. People tell me that all the time-a male coleague said he and his fiancee can't wait to start trying for a baby... and I think that nobody knows what I am going through and how each comment is like a dagger through my heart..... It is the worst thing I have ever had to go through.

I'm sorry to be so down... just think I'm running out of time....

Skye-I'm really keeping my fingers crossed for you.. Did you relent and buy the test??? I wouldn't be able to wait either!!

To everybody else, hope you're all okay....

and to us all.

big hugs to you, i am sorry about the bfn, and i know exactly what you are talking about, i dont not want to be a mother either, but sometimes i feel like i am losing myself in this whole process. Like i have no life, because i always think oh i should not do that, what if i am pg, and i am tired of it. I think you should go ahead and put IVF on hold, and go and see your brother, your a youngin, you have plenty of time, its not good to do IVF all stressed out, take some time and relax and enjoy your life. I also know what its like with the co workers, right now i have pg women that are due from July through Nov, they are everywhere here, everybody keeps telling me its in the water, i dont know i keep drinking the water and nothing is happening for me lol. For me i am trying to stick as close to them as i can and possibly pick up on some of those preggy vibes lol. You and i are a lot alike, we have both been trying for over 3 years, you just have to have faith and Believe, this can happen for us, and if it does not, well then you know what, we are still beautiful wonderful women, and this world is lucky to have ladies like us!!!