TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[onmymind17]

Oh and i tested last night, BFN, of course, so i am right with you ladies, AF is due either wed or thurs.

 

[lavalux]

Missyt,
That secluded trip sounds amazing! Hang in there. You may be pg right now since you don't expect AF until Sunday. But if not, you can really enjoy the vineyard tour on your romantic secluded get-away with your husband! I think my DH & I really need to take a mini-vacation even if we only go somewhere for a long weekend. This TTCing has put alot of pressure on us and we are still a month away from our 1 year anniversary.

Dwrgi & Ginger,
Sorry you are going through a discouraging time and you think that AF on her way. But hang in there, because you just don't know.

FM,
You are a great inspiration to me because you don't test early and generally remain upbeat even in the midst of a challenge. That is a difficult feat to accomplish. I do not handle the TWW very well at all. But I agree that it doesn't matter how long we wait for our babies, it will happen, but perhaps not on our timetable.

LynnB,
Thanks for the long, thoughtful post. Good luck in the TWW! I've got my fingers Xed for you.

Skye,
One more day until your BFP!!!

 

[lavalux]

onmymind,
I'm so sorry you got a BFN this time! I'm glad you have found this thread where you can get lost of support.

 

[Baby4MJ]

Dwrgi, Ginger and onmymind: I'm so sorry to hear about the BFNs to all of you. I've seen my share of them, so I certainly empathize. I plod along thinking I'm used to all the BFNs and just realize I'm only kidding myself. That little kernel of optimism that is burrowed in my brain is getting to be a real nuisance. No doubt it's a rough road all of us are on, but we're all tough as nails (quite obviously!) and refuse to be beaten. Our time will come-I know it. I mean who makes better mommies than those who've fought so hard for it? No one, that's who! We rock.

Future Mommie and missyt: The is hovering and scheduled to land on Monday, but I too refuse to fall into the trap of testing right now. I will wait until Monday, as hard as that will be. I've had low-grade cramps the past 3 days and a mild headache...sure signs of AF making her descent. I hate her. I have an acupuncture appt. this Thursday so maybe the acupuncturist can stab at her with a needle or two to let her know how I feel about her

:wave: to all the other ladies and to everyone!

 

[Dwrgi]

CheshirePanda- Welcome

Missyt- I know you will make the right decision for you guys. I hope the IUI's work so that you don't have to move on to IVF!

Dwrgi- sorry that you got a bfn, we have been trying for 3.5 years too and it does get hard and you wonder if it will ever happen but it will, we just can't give up. One of the hardest thing for me is to remove my own time clock, In these past 3 years I've always said I don't want to be 40 but I really have no control over it. I hope that you can find it within to keep going, don't give up on your dream! I know I'm not becuase I know that I will regret it in the end.

MJ- I hope the acupuncture does the trick

Luv- glad you and dh had a great trip

Ginger- Ugh....sorry you got a bfn

afm- I could test today but I think I will hold off, AF is officially due tomorrow and I'm feeling a little crampy so the witch is probably on her way so it will be back to injections and and IUI this month if the witch shows tomorrow.

Hi Future Mommie-thanks for the words of encouragement. Isn't it weird that so many of us have our periods due at the same time... I know that people who share dorms etc. tend to get in sync, but I didn't realise we could get in sync via web!!! It's good to know there are people in the same boat as me.... I agree, though, not to give up on the dream... Hope you're feeling okay, hun and fingers crossed that vile witch doesn't show for you!

Take care and thanks for your concern.


x

 

[Dwrgi]

dwrgi, I know this is such a tough time and every bfn and af arrival is devastating. My RE recommended IVF too but I know I'm not ready right now. I strongly believe you have to feel ready emotionally, financially and physically to go through IVF. I understand how you feel with all the pregnancy news. I avoid Facebook now because I'm drained from crying over seeing all the pregnancy or birth announcements. Hang in there and big hugs.

Ginger, I hate that you got a bfn. Take all the time you want to brood. We'll get our bfp someday soon. We just have to be patient.

Lynnb, good to hear from you!

FM, I feel AF coming soon but I'm due on Sunday. I plan on starting another IUI cycle when AF finally arrives. I refuse to test too. I'm over it. It just adds to my anxiety.

AFM, I'm feeling excited because I booked our secluded cabin in the mountains weekend for DH and I. I even signed us up for a wine tasting tour as there are a lot of vineyards in the area. I'm so looking forward to this and we so need it.

Thanks so much for this, MissyT. It means a lot to have your support. You are so right about being prepared for IVF in all ways. I don't think I am, and I need to get my head around it before I start the process. I guess that's why I was so happy to delay until my 40th birthday in July.

Hey-your trip away sounds fantastic. I hope you have a fabulous break and get the chance to relax.
Lots of
xx

 

[Dwrgi]

Hi Girls! Just checking in to say that I tested this morning and got the dreaded

I am sooooooo disappointed and so dejected. I really do not want to go through the stress of IVF as I don't cope very well with stress at the best of times...... But it doesn't lok as if I have any choice. Over the weekend, when I just guessed that was coming, I basically had a complete wobbly and told my OH that I didn't want to go ahead with IVF, I wanted to go to see my brother in Oz instead. I was basically in denial... head in the sand and it will go away, but it won't of course.... I have to deal with this bad news better but after three and a half years that is really hard. I don't want to not be a mother, but it is a real possibility. And then what am I about????

And to make matters worse, a colleague of mine told me this morning that she is preggers-had only just started trying. People tell me that all the time-a male coleague said he and his fiancee can't wait to start trying for a baby... and I think that nobody knows what I am going through and how each comment is like a dagger through my heart..... It is the worst thing I have ever had to go through.

I'm sorry to be so down... just think I'm running out of time....

Skye-I'm really keeping my fingers crossed for you.. Did you relent and buy the test??? I wouldn't be able to wait either!!

To everybody else, hope you're all okay....

and to us all.

big hugs to you, i am sorry about the bfn, and i know exactly what you are talking about, i dont not want to be a mother either, but sometimes i feel like i am losing myself in this whole process. Like i have no life, because i always think oh i should not do that, what if i am pg, and i am tired of it. I think you should go ahead and put IVF on hold, and go and see your brother, your a youngin, you have plenty of time, its not good to do IVF all stressed out, take some time and relax and enjoy your life. I also know what its like with the co workers, right now i have pg women that are due from July through Nov, they are everywhere here, everybody keeps telling me its in the water, i dont know i keep drinking the water and nothing is happening for me lol. For me i am trying to stick as close to them as i can and possibly pick up on some of those preggy vibes lol. You and i are a lot alike, we have both been trying for over 3 years, you just have to have faith and Believe, this can happen for us, and if it does not, well then you know what, we are still beautiful wonderful women, and this world is lucky to have ladies like us!!!

Thanks you soooooooo much for this, you have really lifted my spirits. It is sooooo hard, isn't it, and it doesn't get any easier the longer time goes. It gets harder, if anything. It is silly to put life on hold..... and I get told ALL THE TIME of people 'who stopped trying and they suddenly got pregnant.' Yawn. But how on earth can you not think about it?? Anyway, feeling a bit better tonight-just wasn't meant to be this month, that's all.....

I hope you are okay, and that we will both get our little bundle of joy sooner rather than later!
Big back to you,
Axx

 

[padbrat]

Hi Girls! Just checking in to say that I tested this morning and got the dreaded

I am sooooooo disappointed and so dejected. I really do not want to go through the stress of IVF as I don't cope very well with stress at the best of times...... But it doesn't lok as if I have any choice. Over the weekend, when I just guessed that was coming, I basically had a complete wobbly and told my OH that I didn't want to go ahead with IVF, I wanted to go to see my brother in Oz instead. I was basically in denial... head in the sand and it will go away, but it won't of course.... I have to deal with this bad news better but after three and a half years that is really hard. I don't want to not be a mother, but it is a real possibility. And then what am I about????

And to make matters worse, a colleague of mine told me this morning that she is preggers-had only just started trying. People tell me that all the time-a male coleague said he and his fiancee can't wait to start trying for a baby... and I think that nobody knows what I am going through and how each comment is like a dagger through my heart..... It is the worst thing I have ever had to go through.

I'm sorry to be so down... just think I'm running out of time....

Skye-I'm really keeping my fingers crossed for you.. Did you relent and buy the test??? I wouldn't be able to wait either!!

To everybody else, hope you're all okay....

and to us all.

big hugs to you, i am sorry about the bfn, and i know exactly what you are talking about, i dont not want to be a mother either, but sometimes i feel like i am losing myself in this whole process. Like i have no life, because i always think oh i should not do that, what if i am pg, and i am tired of it. I think you should go ahead and put IVF on hold, and go and see your brother, your a youngin, you have plenty of time, its not good to do IVF all stressed out, take some time and relax and enjoy your life. I also know what its like with the co workers, right now i have pg women that are due from July through Nov, they are everywhere here, everybody keeps telling me its in the water, i dont know i keep drinking the water and nothing is happening for me lol. For me i am trying to stick as close to them as i can and possibly pick up on some of those preggy vibes lol. You and i are a lot alike, we have both been trying for over 3 years, you just have to have faith and Believe, this can happen for us, and if it does not, well then you know what, we are still beautiful wonderful women, and this world is lucky to have ladies like us!!!

Thanks you soooooooo much for this, you have really lifted my spirits. It is sooooo hard, isn't it, and it doesn't get any easier the longer time goes. It gets harder, if anything. It is silly to put life on hold..... and I get told ALL THE TIME of people 'who stopped trying and they suddenly got pregnant.' Yawn. But how on earth can you not think about it?? Anyway, feeling a bit better tonight-just wasn't meant to be this month, that's all.....

I hope you are okay, and that we will both get our little bundle of joy sooner rather than later!
Big back to you,
Axx

Hi ladies...

Lurky old me here!

Welcome all new ladies... so sorry you are with us, but happy to see you too

I wish I knew when my AF was coming.... still no sign of it... but then again M/cC always messes my cycles up...

I know what you DWRGI about the insenstive comments... we had to go to Liverpool at the weekend as my MIL died. My Husband's nephew who has 4 kids and whose new wife has just had another said to us that we needed to hurry up and have soem babies before I get too old!!! if it wasn't for the fact my MIL had died I would have bloody have told him that by rights we should have a 4 yr old, twin 3 year olds, a 1 year old and I would still be pregnant!

I swear I could have slapped his smug mug!!

Skye hun... 21 follies sounds amazing... Test test test.. the suspense is killing us

Lava, Ginger, Twinkle, HA, MA, FM and all you gawgeous ladies... hiya and mucho hugs

 

[missyt]

Padbrat, I wish we could all wear a sign on our foreheads that say "Think before you speak" or "Be grateful for what you have because it isn't as easy for all of us". My neighbors next door are pregnant with their first. I want to lose my mind when the hubby talks to DH about what to expect since DH already has a son. It breaks my heart knowing he had a child with someone else but we are having such a hard time. Not to mention, every time AF arrives always happens to fall on a weekend we have my stepson. Its like a slap in the face that all I'm going to be is a stepmom and a pugmom. Its the reason I decided not to test anymore. I don't want to be in a mood when my stepson is with us. I don't want him to pick up on my agony.

 

[HappyAuntie]

Ladies, for those of you who don't stalk the graduates thread, I wanted to let you know that Tititimes' little baby has been diagnosed with anencephaly, a neural tube defect that is incompatible with life, and she will have to undergo a termination.

If you're the praying kind, please lift them up in your prayers. Titi has already suffered two miscarriages, and this LO was conceived on her first clomid cycle in March.

Here's her post from the graduates thread:

I can't say much right now as I am just trying to get through each moment right now. But you have all been so kind and I wanted to say thank you for all your support.

We found out yesterday that our LO has a severe neural tube defect which caused the brain and spinal cord not to properly form. It is called ancephaly. They believe it was caused by a severe folic acid deficiency that predated my pregnancy. I would have required a special folic acid regimine prior to conception. We have been told that the baby's condition is not compatible with life. Two doctors have confirmed. So I will have to undergo a medically necessary termination. I am crushed.

Please pray for my LO and family during this difficult time. And thanks for always listening.

 

[samiam]

Can I join you ladies? I'm 43 and had a mmc at 12 weeks in nov. I'll be getting blood tests done on the 19th and, if we weren't successful this cycle, an hsg test next cycle. I am approaching my due date and having a hard time coping with the loss.

 

[luvmydoggies]

I am so sorry to hear about Tititimes.....I looked up anencephaly, so I could understand it better and can not imagine how she feels right now. I am soooo very sorry for her loss and it must be very traumatic to go through this. I don't have the right words but I am thinking and praying for you.

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Welcome Samiam You'll LOVE the ladies in this thread. So sorry for your loss and I pray that you achieve your bfp soon!

Praying for our titi. Asking for Gods hand to hold her and pick her up when she cannot stand on her own, for His strength to guide her, His peace to overcome her, and people around her to support her and her family through the grief, praying that she also finds HOPE again through the storm in Jesus name I pray...Amen


New forum here at Bnb

Spoiler

Ladies, I popped in here to share some good news! I just noticed the kind bnb mods created a new forum for "Pregnant over 35". I found it exciting that we are no longer "displaced" once we "Graduate".

My hope is that maybe it will be an encouragement to those of us who've been ttc over 35.

Anyways, just thought I'd share that piece of news so that WHEN you all get there, you'll know there's a place for you to actually "graduate" to. We're still in the "discussion" room and I think we'll probably end up staying there unless we get pruned to the newest forum, but it's good news all the same. I'm looking forward to seeing you all graduate to that forum one day!!

 

[HappyAuntie]

I am so sorry to hear about Tititimes.....I looked up anencephaly, so I could understand it better and can not imagine how she feels right now. I am soooo very sorry for her loss and it must be very traumatic to go through this. I don't have the right words but I am thinking and praying for you.

I looked it up, too, and wish I hadn't - the pics on wikipedia are pretty graphic.

 

[HappyAuntie]

Can I join you ladies? I'm 43 and had a mmc at 12 weeks in nov. I'll be getting blood tests done on the 19th and, if we weren't successful this cycle, an hsg test next cycle. I am approaching my due date and having a hard time coping with the loss.

Welcome, Sam! I'm glad you found us. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how hard that is - my first mc was at 12 weeks, too. What sort of blood tests are you having done?

 

[samiam]

Can I join you ladies? I'm 43 and had a mmc at 12 weeks in nov. I'll be getting blood tests done on the 19th and, if we weren't successful this cycle, an hsg test next cycle. I am approaching my due date and having a hard time coping with the loss.

Welcome, Sam! I'm glad you found us. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how hard that is - my first mc was at 12 weeks, too. What sort of blood tests are you having done?

Thanks! I'm sorry for your loss too. My doc suspects that I may have PCOS, so whatever tests (hormones, insulin, etc.) go along with trying to figure that out. I'm in the tww now, so maybe the tests will just show that I am preggers. One can always hope, right?

 

[Dwrgi]

Hi Girls! Just checking in to say that I tested this morning and got the dreaded

I am sooooooo disappointed and so dejected. I really do not want to go through the stress of IVF as I don't cope very well with stress at the best of times...... But it doesn't lok as if I have any choice. Over the weekend, when I just guessed that was coming, I basically had a complete wobbly and told my OH that I didn't want to go ahead with IVF, I wanted to go to see my brother in Oz instead. I was basically in denial... head in the sand and it will go away, but it won't of course.... I have to deal with this bad news better but after three and a half years that is really hard. I don't want to not be a mother, but it is a real possibility. And then what am I about????

And to make matters worse, a colleague of mine told me this morning that she is preggers-had only just started trying. People tell me that all the time-a male coleague said he and his fiancee can't wait to start trying for a baby... and I think that nobody knows what I am going through and how each comment is like a dagger through my heart..... It is the worst thing I have ever had to go through.

I'm sorry to be so down... just think I'm running out of time....

Skye-I'm really keeping my fingers crossed for you.. Did you relent and buy the test??? I wouldn't be able to wait either!!

To everybody else, hope you're all okay....

and to us all.

big hugs to you, i am sorry about the bfn, and i know exactly what you are talking about, i dont not want to be a mother either, but sometimes i feel like i am losing myself in this whole process. Like i have no life, because i always think oh i should not do that, what if i am pg, and i am tired of it. I think you should go ahead and put IVF on hold, and go and see your brother, your a youngin, you have plenty of time, its not good to do IVF all stressed out, take some time and relax and enjoy your life. I also know what its like with the co workers, right now i have pg women that are due from July through Nov, they are everywhere here, everybody keeps telling me its in the water, i dont know i keep drinking the water and nothing is happening for me lol. For me i am trying to stick as close to them as i can and possibly pick up on some of those preggy vibes lol. You and i are a lot alike, we have both been trying for over 3 years, you just have to have faith and Believe, this can happen for us, and if it does not, well then you know what, we are still beautiful wonderful women, and this world is lucky to have ladies like us!!!

Thanks you soooooooo much for this, you have really lifted my spirits. It is sooooo hard, isn't it, and it doesn't get any easier the longer time goes. It gets harder, if anything. It is silly to put life on hold..... and I get told ALL THE TIME of people 'who stopped trying and they suddenly got pregnant.' Yawn. But how on earth can you not think about it?? Anyway, feeling a bit better tonight-just wasn't meant to be this month, that's all.....

I hope you are okay, and that we will both get our little bundle of joy sooner rather than later!
Big back to you,
Axx

Hi ladies...

Lurky old me here!

Welcome all new ladies... so sorry you are with us, but happy to see you too

I wish I knew when my AF was coming.... still no sign of it... but then again M/cC always messes my cycles up...

I know what you DWRGI about the insenstive comments... we had to go to Liverpool at the weekend as my MIL died. My Husband's nephew who has 4 kids and whose new wife has just had another said to us that we needed to hurry up and have soem babies before I get too old!!! if it wasn't for the fact my MIL had died I would have bloody have told him that by rights we should have a 4 yr old, twin 3 year olds, a 1 year old and I would still be pregnant!

I swear I could have slapped his smug mug!!

Skye hun... 21 follies sounds amazing... Test test test.. the suspense is killing us

Lava, Ginger, Twinkle, HA, MA, FM and all you gawgeous ladies... hiya and mucho hugs

Hi Padbrat! Good to hear fromyou. How are you doing hun? I think about you a lot and wonder how you're feeling. I'm sending big to you.

What are people like? Honestly-just so insensitive. Yesterday, instead of smiling sweetly, I actualy told my colleague that I'd been trying for three and a half years, had had one miscarriage and was due to start IVF.... I'm fed up of being smiley and nice to others when they tell me their news, and somehow, I'm not supposed to say anything about my torment because it embarrasses people, or makes people feel awkward, like I feel awkward when I am told about YET ANOTHER pregnancy. How is that right??? No more I say..... (People MAY WELL start avoiding me now though.... ).

I tell you this, though, it makes us strong cookies, and we need to be!

Sending you big and lots of !
Lots of love, Axxx

 

[Nikki Leigh]

First and foremost...my heart breaks at the news about TT and her LO. She and her family are in my prayers.

Padbrat...it's nice to see you on, and a huge from me to you. I know you're holding up as best you can. I would have slapped your hubby's nephew, BTW, but I'm sort of violent like that.

CaroleB...welcome back. I can't imagine what it's like to try again after devastating loss. I am amazed at our infinite will to get back up after we fall down.

Hello LynnB. Glad you stopped by to share how your PG is going! Fantastic

Hi Rowan.

FM: Everything crossed that you DO NOT see AF. ITA about just holding off from testing. I hate to see the BFN, so I just wait for AF to arrive...or NOT!

SKYE--such good things have been happening for you this cycle. I pray that you see your BFP. I'm rooting for you this cycle girl!

Dwirgi, Ginger, Onmymind--I'm also sorry to hear about the BFN. Not over until the AF lady sings and all that. But seriously, hoping the best for you.

MJ: Welcome from me to the board, and I hope you also don't see AF anytime soon. Blah, go away AF and come back in like 12 months.

MissyT: Just like you, my AF ALWAYS comes the weekend we have the SD...never fails. So not only do I know I'm out for the cycle, but it happens while I'm helping to care for my "child but not my child." It's a little soul crushing in some ways. Fortunately last time we took her home a bit early, and AF came later that night. You're right that it's hard to take that your DH had a child with someone else (especially if those circumstances were less than ideal) and then here you two are, struggling. It's an extra dose of TTC pain for good measure. OTOH, some days that sweet little girl makes the difference between wallowing around in my own misery versus being a responsible weekend mommy.

Welcome CheshirePanda and Samiam. Of course, all are welcomed to join us--not to be rude, but I hope your stay is short though.

MA: I saw that new forum too! Great, something to look forward to WHEN the BFP finally comes.

Hello HA!

Sorry if I missed anyone recently...it's been a while since I properly responded to things.

AFM: My Clomid cycle ended yesterday. I can't say I had any noticeable side effects. I did have that weird second day aches and illness, but I don't know if that was related. I didn't feel any differently this week, so not sure if it did anything. Given my most recent cycles, I shouldn't be fertile until this weekend and next week, but I'll start OPK on CD12 just to be sure. I haven't gone back to acupuncture yet as I'm pondering going to one who specializes in fertility issues. I'll think about it possibly for next cycle.

 

[gingerbread]

Morning girls!

Such sadness to hear of Titi. My heart is breaking for you You and your family are in my prayers hun.

Onmymind dont you hate those "early" cramps. Its like a tease that AF is coming but still days away. I hope it ends up not being the witch for either of us!!!

Nikki glad to hear no side affects from the clomid..ive heard of some nasty ones. I never had any either but was never prescribed more than 50mg. Good luck with all the bding this weekend!!!

Skye

Luvy how is(or did) the SMEP go? Worn out yet??

Missy that trip sounds soooo relaxing. Maybe I can talk DH to do the same with me sometime in the next 2 months. Still crossing fingers for you this cycle!

Welcome Samiam. Good luck in the 2ww!

MA HA Padbrat FM Panda Baby4MJ Lynneb Lava CaroleB Never..Hi girls hope all is well!

 

[lavalux]

So sorry to hear about Titi and her little one. That must be such a devastating blow! I am praying for her, her family, and the baby she lost. I hope that when she feels better she will rejoin our group so that we can all support one another while we wait for babies to hold.

SamiI,
Welcome! I am sorry to hear about your loss. It is good that you are having tests done by the doctors, but I hope that you get another BFP soon!

Dwgri,
I agree with you on not always just turning the other cheek & smiling through insensitive comments. I've told you about my friend who just had her baby (it was accidental & the father is not around by my friend's choice). I threw her a baby shower, brought her a gift & visited when she brought Joy home, but I just haven't been able to make myself go back again & have been avoiding calls. We talked yesterday, with the baby crying, and lots of breastfeeding/napping schedule convo, which is fine, but I just can't handle her pressuring me to hurry up and have my baby. So, I wound up coming clean on the phone & she was very supportive. At least she will know why I'm avoiding her & that it's just temporary. I feel like crap that I can't be a better friend to her right now, but it's too painful.

Good luck to FM, Skye, & anyone else on the TWW. Keep us posted on your news, Skye! I'm in the mood to use a bunch of happy emoticons!

Nikki,
I just have one more night of Clomid. No real side effects for me which was good. Mid-cycle check Monday to see if it worked at all. Good luck with the BDing!