TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[missyt]

HA, thanks for the update. My heart goes out to titi. I said a prayer immediately when I read the post. I still feel so sad for her.

Samiam, welcome! You are in the right place. All the ladies here are very supportive.

Nikki Leigh, I'm so glad you know how I feel. I was thinking I was the only one out here with a stepchild. It does throw another factor in to the sadness of our TTC. Not only that, DH didn't have much of a relationship with his son when I met him. He'd go visit him at his ex's house and would go to his sporting events. But it made me feel like he was having supervised visits and his ex was calling the shots as to when he could see him which wasn't allowing for bonding. I urged him to see a lawyer and when his ex found out she freaked. She became a lot more accomodating and now we have a very good schedule in place where we have him for 4 day weekends, every other weekend and half the summer. When we moved into our new house we have a room that is his own. He didn't have that before I met his dad. SS definately has that motherly influence when he is at our house; I make sure he eats on time, get things at the grocery store he likes, take him shopping, decorated his room, do his laundry, etc. I know I do things with him his own mom doesn't do like go mountain biking, watch the History channel with him, teach him how to do chores (LOL), etc. Its just so heartbreaking because I just want my own that I can raise with my own values. Its hard because there are bad habit he learns at his other house that he knows don't fly in our house. Thanks for understanding. It really helps a lot knowing someone else is in my situation. My own mom had a stepmother from hell. She cut my grandfather off from seeing his 4 girls. Knowing what she went through, I could never do anything like that. It makes me feel good when people tell me I'm a good stepmom and my stepson is very lucky to have me. I just really want my own.

 

[FutureMommie]

Lavalux- I'm not upbeat all the time, I just pray alot and have a wonderful friend that keeps me encourage and lifted up.

Babymj- Ive had the same symptoms but no headache yet but I know af is on the way. I just don't want to see the bfn so I will wait it out

Dwrgi- Ha! Ha! it does same like our cycles are insync, I guess thats so we can keep each other encouraged.

Padrat- glad you are still lurking! I know you wanted to shut him up and trust me you will get the opportunity again because the insensetive comments keep coming.

Praying for Tititimes I can't even imagine what she is going thru!

Samiam- Welcome

Nikki- glad you didn't have any side effects from clomid, I hope it does the trick and you get your bfp FX.

Skye- Good Luck!!!!!

 

[lynnb]

Has anyone heard from Skye, isn't today her test date?

Skye - Good luck & hope you're OK huni

 

[gingerbread]

MA just read on the graduates thread that you had a birthday 2days ago. Happy Happy Birthday to you Did you get to do anything fun?

 

[samiam]

Awww. You girls are so nice! Thanks for all of the warm welcomes!

 

[HappyAuntie]

DYING to hear from Skye!! Where are you?!?! No pressure or anything! You know we'll all be here to celebrate with you OR to catch you when you fall - no matter what happens.

Missy, you're a wonderful stepmom! Step-parenting is never an easy situation, and it sounds like you are making the best of it. How wonderful that he has his own room at your house now - what a big step toward making him feel a part of both families now, and not just at his mom's. I've seen my sister-in-law make some horrendous mistakes with her step-daughters - she treats them VERY differently (in a bad way) than she treats her own daughter (their half-sister), and it pains me to see that happen.

Have a great day, ladies.

 

[twinkle1975]

Keeping Titi in my prayers too

 

[luvmydoggies]

I am so sorry to hear about Tititimes.....I looked up anencephaly, so I could understand it better and can not imagine how she feels right now. I am soooo very sorry for her loss and it must be very traumatic to go through this. I don't have the right words but I am thinking and praying for you.

I looked it up, too, and wish I hadn't - the pics on wikipedia are pretty graphic.

Yes, I saw the pictures too. They are graphic. I wasn't expecting that.

 

[Dwrgi]

So sorry to hear about Titi and her little one. That must be such a devastating blow! I am praying for her, her family, and the baby she lost. I hope that when she feels better she will rejoin our group so that we can all support one another while we wait for babies to hold.

SamiI,
Welcome! I am sorry to hear about your loss. It is good that you are having tests done by the doctors, but I hope that you get another BFP soon!

Dwgri,
I agree with you on not always just turning the other cheek & smiling through insensitive comments. I've told you about my friend who just had her baby (it was accidental & the father is not around by my friend's choice). I threw her a baby shower, brought her a gift & visited when she brought Joy home, but I just haven't been able to make myself go back again & have been avoiding calls. We talked yesterday, with the baby crying, and lots of breastfeeding/napping schedule convo, which is fine, but I just can't handle her pressuring me to hurry up and have my baby. So, I wound up coming clean on the phone & she was very supportive. At least she will know why I'm avoiding her & that it's just temporary. I feel like crap that I can't be a better friend to her right now, but it's too painful.

Good luck to FM, Skye, & anyone else on the TWW. Keep us posted on your news, Skye! I'm in the mood to use a bunch of happy emoticons!

Nikki,
I just have one more night of Clomid. No real side effects for me which was good. Mid-cycle check Monday to see if it worked at all. Good luck with the BDing!

Hi Lava! How are you? I have to say that I think you did the right thing in 'coming clean' and telling your friend how you were feeling. I just don't think that people understand, and we do need to be honest about how their situation affects us. I'm glad she was supportive. You sound like a really good friend to her- we want to hold on to the important people in our lives, but sometimes we have to say things which aren't always easy.

Hope you're okay, lots of to you!
A
xxxx

 

[luvmydoggies]

Ginger- I have not exactly been following the SMEP. We are just trying to bd every other day until I get my 'peak' on the cbfm. Since we went away this past weekend, it was kind of hard to follow. Thank you, so much for asking about me. How are you doing?

 

[Nikki Leigh]

Missy, you're a wonderful stepmom! Step-parenting is never an easy situation, and it sounds like you are making the best of it. How wonderful that he has his own room at your house now - what a big step toward making him feel a part of both families now, and not just at his mom's. I've seen my sister-in-law make some horrendous mistakes with her step-daughters - she treats them VERY differently (in a bad way) than she treats her own daughter (their half-sister), and it pains me to see that happen.

I NEVER want that to happen with my bio-kids and my SD. I want them to be seamless--they will be siblings, not "half-siblings." My MIL gave me a Mother's Day card because I treat my SD "like a daughter." It was very sweet.

I totally understand MissyT. To be honest, I probably wouldn't want to have "more" children as painfully if I didn't have a SD--I'm in mommy mode part of the time, and it's draining in a way. I'd rather be in mommy mode 24/7 or not at all, you know?

 

[Baby4MJ]

Just wanted to say hello :wave: to everyone, especially to those I haven't "met" before and to the people who are new here (even newer than I am, which is pretty new!). I have to agree with everyone in that this is the most supportive group of girls I have ever encountered in my 2-year long wait in TTC my first baby. It's nice to have a soft place to land when life hits you hard, and also a place to laugh to help lift you up (e.g., the George Michael saga).

I also haven't met Titi or been to the "graduates" thread...but my heart breaks for her. I can't fathom the pain she must feel. Sending many many prayers her way...

and loads of to all...

p.s. I had never heard of "SMEP" so I googled it. Any of you girls tried it or know anyone who's tried it and been successful in becoming preggo?

 

[HappyAuntie]

p.s. I had never heard of "SMEP" so I googled it. Any of you girls tried it or know anyone who's tried it and been successful in becoming preggo?

Both times I got pregnant it was using a modified SMEP, I just didn't know it at the time. My cycles are really regular, so I knew roughly what week I should be ovulating each month (I never used OPKs before my RE made me after my recurrent mc workup and treatment plan), and I just made sure we bd every other night that week. No legs in the air, no making sure I stayed lying down for 20 min after, no pillow under my hips, no softcups, no nothing. Just bd every other day for a week. Worked twice, and both times it happened the first month or two of ttc. (Which is why our year-long dry spell of no BFP has been really hard to bear... but I digress.) I used this website to help identify my fertile window and we went at it.

I think the key thing with SMEP is it's just a way of making sure you're having enough sex and that you're having it at the right time. There's really no need for the every day sex it suggests right around your positive OPK - sex every day can in fact be bad if your DH has a low count - the spermies really need that 48 hr break to recharge.

Just my two cents'. It works, but it's also a little overkill.

 

[Baby4MJ]

p.s. I had never heard of "SMEP" so I googled it. Any of you girls tried it or know anyone who's tried it and been successful in becoming preggo?

Both times I got pregnant it was using a modified SMEP, I just didn't know it at the time. My cycles are really regular, so I knew roughly what week I should be ovulating each month (I never used OPKs before my RE made me after my recurrent mc workup and treatment plan), and I just made sure we bd every other night that week. No legs in the air, no making sure I stayed lying down for 20 min after, no pillow under my hips, no softcups, no nothing. Just bd every other day for a week. Worked twice, and both times it happened the first month or two of ttc. (Which is why our year-long dry spell of no BFP has been really hard to bear... but I digress.) I used this website to help identify my fertile window and we went at it.

I think the key thing with SMEP is it's just a way of making sure you're having enough sex and that you're having it at the right time. There's really no need for the every day sex it suggests right around your positive OPK - sex every day can in fact be bad if your DH has a low count - the spermies really need that 48 hr break to recharge.

Just my two cents'. It works, but it's also a little overkill.

I think DH and I are unknowingly doing some modified version of SMEP as well. I have been using the Clearblue Easy fertility monitor in conjunction with an online ovulation calendar at babymed.com, so to be on the safe side we usually try to BD starting around CD6 or CD7 and go every other day until the CBEFM shows I'm back to low fertility. Prior to being on fertility meds, this worked I believe (got preg but miscarried in Sept 2010). After our recent break, I think our BD was similar to SMEP (and hopefully sufficient!) Unfortunately my most fertile time was over Easter weekend when I had my mother and stepfather staying with us , so we did the best we could (BD on CD8, CD10-11, CD13 and CD15). I could never have sex every day. My God, I'm exhausted just thinking about it. I do the silly stuff though (legs in the air, gigantic bolster pillow under my bum, even a couple of yoga poses - it's ridiculous). I guess I'll find out on Monday if it was all for naught.

Thanks for the info and wishing for BFPs for both of us!!!

 

[padbrat]

Awwww such tragic news for Tittimus... I really feel for her... how awful. I am sending her strength and hugs.

hey lovely ladies... Nikki, Missy, FM, HA, Lava, Ginger and all... anyone heard from Skye????? I am impatient! lol

BTW I had a call from my Consultant today. The chromosome tests are back and I was having a Son. He died because he inherited my bad X chromosome. She said he would not have survived if I carried him to term.

Ladies I had a Son and he lived. His heart beat inside me for a little while.

I don't know if that breaks my heart or mends it....

 

[Nikki Leigh]

Padbrat, you HAVE a son and he lived. He was your child--he just wasn't here as long as he needed to be to be held in his mom's arms. But I am prayerful that you will get to hold your baby in your arms and watch him/her grow-up to be a healthy, happy person in the world. My heart also breaks for you, but I pray that you can find peace in know that his heart beat in time with yours...if only for a little while.

 

[padbrat]

Awww that is beautiful. Thank you Nikki... xx

 

[Mommy's Angel]

MA just read on the graduates thread that you had a birthday 2days ago. Happy Happy Birthday to you Did you get to do anything fun?

Yes, I'm 37...Oh, I mean 29 now. Thank you dear friend.

We were pretty low key as I'm having a hard time sitting for a long period of time with my butt muscle being swollen from the 17P injections.

We went to lunch and then I wanted to go on a country drive and to my favorite cafe for a caffeine free mocha late with whipped cream.

The best news that came out of it is that my friend received a kidney and liver transplant. We're praying the organs take to her body and so far so good. We're also praying for the young woman who gave the greatest gift and left quite a legacy behind!

Padbrat, your son is very much ALIVE in heaven. WE're actually the ones in our "temporary home" and THEY are waiting for US! Someone close to me once said when my Jackson passed away that He is not LOST, we're NOT walking away from our son but we are walking TOWARD him. It's not over, we'll be holding our children when we get to heaven. THEY will know us there.

I've read a couple of books Randy Alcorns "Heaven"shares a realistic view of heaven and if our loved ones will recognize us when we get there. It's a refreshing biblical view that shares hope and truth. Realistically our children don't turn into angels but are the same little ones they were created to be...only they are "walking in the garden with Jesus". I like to think of our Jackson as being around the likes of all the women from the Bible and the Desciples learning first hand what many of us read here on earth from Gods word, I also like to think he's surrounded by his great grandmother who is loving him dearly.

Your right, it IS bitter sweet. We want our little ones here with us. But if they can't be, I'd rather know their safe in Heaven with a Father-God who loves them than anywhere else if I can't be with Him.

Not sure if that will help anyone who grieves their child. It will never take that pain away, but it sure helps calm the spirit when you KNOW where they are, that they are safe, they are REALLY ALIVE waiting for YOU, and that it's not the end. The chapter isn't closed and one day you'll have an ETERNITY (infinite time) to spend with the child you once let go.

I hope you find some peace in the midst of the grieving process

 

[Baby4MJ]

Padbrat, you HAVE a son and he lived. He was your child--he just wasn't here as long as he needed to be to be held in his mom's arms. But I am prayerful that you will get to hold your baby in your arms and watch him/her grow-up to be a healthy, happy person in the world. My heart also breaks for you, but I pray that you can find peace in know that his heart beat in time with yours...if only for a little while.

Beautifully stated, Nikki. Padbrat, I am so sorry for what you are going through.

 

[Baby4MJ]

Your right, it IS bitter sweet. We want our little ones here with us. But if they can't be, I'd rather know their safe in Heaven with a Father-God who loves them than anywhere else if I can't be with Him.

Not sure if that will help anyone who grieves their child. It will never take that pain away, but it sure helps calm the spirit when you KNOW where they are, that they are safe, they are REALLY ALIVE waiting for YOU, and that it's not the end. The chapter isn't closed and one day you'll have an ETERNITY (infinite time) to spend with the child you once let go.

I hope you find some peace in the midst of the grieving process

Thank you for this, Mommy's Angel. One of the biggest struggles I had with each miscarriage was the fear that each baby would not be able to go to heaven, but be forever suspended in purgatory (I was raised Roman Catholic and, though not practicing, it has always stayed with me that babies who are not baptized do not go to heaven). Although I do not truly believe God would ever deny a child entrance into heaven, that fear has always stuck with me. What you have said does help and provide some sense of peace (for me, anyway)

p.s. Belated Happy Birthday!