I'm cross with myself today - I've been so good about not even thinking about the possibility of getting pregnant or being pregnant & then last night I had to get up 4 times to go to the loo and I felt really sick in the car earlier - now I know that both of those things have rational explanations (DH is trying to get me drink more and I was running late for lunch) but a teeny bit of the back of my mind couldn't help having a little jolt of hope, even though I'm only on CD18. I just need a slap (Please dont say 'but you could be' as I know I'm not)
I'm cross with myself today - I've been so good about not even thinking about the possibility of getting pregnant or being pregnant & then last night I had to get up 4 times to go to the loo and I felt really sick in the car earlier - now I know that both of those things have rational explanations (DH is trying to get me drink more and I was running late for lunch) but a teeny bit of the back of my mind couldn't help having a little jolt of hope, even though I'm only on CD18. I just need a slap (Please dont say 'but you could be' as I know I'm not)
I don't think there is such a thing as a selfish post. We all care about each other and the only way to heal or get through something is to have someone who can relate listen. It can drive you mad when every little thing you normally would have ignored pops up and plants itself in your mind.
It is better to get it off your chest and let us help you than to keep it in and get down or sad or something. As you know you are not, chalk this one up, get a nice cup of tea/coffee/alcohol/whatever you like, and find peace knowing we are here and can commiserate!
Hi Goldie welcome to the thread ) Hope you would enjoy it in here.
Dwrgi, I'm a bit puzzled about your numbers. Pls don't take my words as judgmental or as if I act like an expert or anything but I just wanna brain storm sort of thing.... I don't know what is the AMH ratio to egg production. I know as it gets lower the respond to drugs is less. But I wonder if 5 is really the number. With IVF it is very very cruicial who is your dr or which clinic you are in. Some are much more attentive than others. And some obviously know what they're doing better than others. You don't have much time to waste either (Have a few failed IVF and than get a +) etc And it is also very expensive. I wonder if you should see another clinic just to get another opininon. I almost feel like suggesting you ARGC too. But they are way away from where you live. Although there was quite a few girls who commuted or even came up to stay here for tx.
There is another website I used while treatment. fertilityfriends.com. It is mainly UK users and it is more treatment oriented (not so much daily chit chat, bit less personal but informative on specific questions) . There is a thread there for women with low AMH numbers. I guess the women there would be more knowledgable about this than any of us here. It also has threads where cycling girls from in specific clinics hook up. You might find your area or even your clinic and just skim through to see what the tx there is like.
i just talked to my friend who got pregnant on her first IVF with 1 big egg. She told me her AMH was 2. Much lower than yours. The dr told her it was low for a young girl but a normal number for her age (40 in August)
Somehow I wonder if your AMH would produce more eggs than 5. I really don't know the answer to this but you might find out from other girls who has a similar AMH.
There might also be a thread on BandB dunno. I so wish that the tx would work for you. You will never know if you won't try and how likely it is for you to conceive naturally is very vague. Not because of AMH but because you don't want to spend too much time trying. Psychologically it's really draining if it doesn't work (you know how awful it is after every witch visit). 2 years ago we hadn't tried properly and all my numbers looked good. I was convinced if we tried I would get pregnant easily but I just didn't. Now I think I could have gone for it 2 years ago. On the other hand if tx didn't work multiple times I would have been sceptical about that too. So I dunno what to say to you hon. But I feel it is time that you did try a tx. But weather an IUI or IVf or where I dunno.
Wooow just read Lava's post. So full of hope ) Honestly Dwrgi I think you can research more about it (you have a few more months before your birthday). So that you make the best choice but you must enter TX with confidance and hope. Honestly you have every reason to believe it will work.
One more thing turning down a cycle doesn't make sense. They could at least turn it into an IUi cycle even if there is 1 big egg. No hope is lost as long as there is a slim solution.
Hope I didn't confuse you even more. (If I did pls tell me to shut up)
LAVA, I'm constantly fearing all those things too. I was cleaning today and I felt really bad smelling the fumes of the soap floor. Than I thought what if I harmed this bb now. "Scary". I think I should stop being paranoid. But it was so bloody damn hard to conceive this one.
MA Yaaay thanx) Wahey I managed to do it after fiddling for a bit ))
Luvy, shame about the insurance. Hope Dh can sort it hon
Macwolly if you are over 35 I think you can ask to be seen earlier. It's worth pushing your GP anyway if you are over 40. Good luck (What's BC?)
Purplelou, the weather was so warm and lovely down here too.
Chris I mentioned the tent adventure to DH and he had a good chuckle.. )) hehehehehehehe
Tigerlily i love your little kitty, it's adorable Good luck with the appt. Make sure you write down all your questions before you go in and have a pen and paper with you if you need to take notes. xxxx
Hi Newmarriedgirl and Indigo.
Twinkie you sure no chance? If you drank just before bed it does force you to get up during the night Why not hop onto Chris's Whatever wagon again.
My GP normal says for over 35s to TTC for 6 months before testing. We didn't realise in 2009 when TTC the first time so didn't start testing until cycle 10 then I got so bad with my depression that in discussion with the GP I went back onto birth control (BC).
I'm hoping that as this is cycle #3 of TTC again we don't have to wait for the full 6 months to start testing
My GP normal says for over 35s to TTC for 6 months before testing. We didn't realise in 2009 when TTC the first time so didn't start testing until cycle 10 then I got so bad with my depression that in discussion with the GP I went back onto birth control (BC).
I'm hoping that as this is cycle #3 of TTC again we don't have to wait for the full 6 months to start testing
You should not have to, its still been since you started ttc even if you took the BC, they should do something. I know for me, i tried for a couple of months with my regular OB, when it moved to IUI, he refered me to an RE right away, he did not want to waste any time.
I'm cross with myself today - I've been so good about not even thinking about the possibility of getting pregnant or being pregnant & then last night I had to get up 4 times to go to the loo and I felt really sick in the car earlier - now I know that both of those things have rational explanations (DH is trying to get me drink more and I was running late for lunch) but a teeny bit of the back of my mind couldn't help having a little jolt of hope, even though I'm only on CD18. I just need a slap (Please dont say 'but you could be' as I know I'm not)
Oh Twinkle, please don't think you are being selfish. I think we all have had hope in the back of our mind (whether we care to admit it or not) when we have a symptom or two that is associated with pg. I have totally done it myself, many times. Don't be so hard on yourself. That is one thing I see from so many of us on this thread, we are so hard on ourselves. We constantly beat ourselves up for waiting too long, not getting help soon enough, putting our career first, staying in a bad relationship too long, misinterpreting symptoms, not being active enough, not eating healthy enough, drinking alcohol, not being religious enough, etc. I could go on but I'll stop (hee hee). Nothing you are doing is wrong. Women have been doing all kind of crazy things for years and still getting pg. Us girls just have to work a little harder. Maybe its because God thinks we are stronger. Having hope is normal.
Skye, yes, I am feeling much better. Thank you for asking. I am prepared to do my normal 5 mile run tomorrow. I need to get active again. Its one thing that keeps me sane through TTC.
I'm cross with myself today - I've been so good about not even thinking about the possibility of getting pregnant or being pregnant & then last night I had to get up 4 times to go to the loo and I felt really sick in the car earlier - now I know that both of those things have rational explanations (DH is trying to get me drink more and I was running late for lunch) but a teeny bit of the back of my mind couldn't help having a little jolt of hope, even though I'm only on CD18. I just need a slap (Please dont say 'but you could be' as I know I'm not)
Twinkle- There is nothing wrong with you having hope. I don't know where I would be without it. Hope is what keeps me going.
Tiger & Macwooly GL on your doctors appts.
Missy- I didn't know that your chest was hurting. Are you feeling better? I also forgot to chime in about your dh's ex. That's not right giving her son medication that is not prescribed by a doc. She could be doing some serious harm to him. You say it's hurting his stomach? What does dh say about it? I'm glad you told your ss that he didn't have to take the pills since they made him sick.
Hey ladies, I am back from San Francisco, we had a wonderful time. I am currently cd 5 and don't know whats next. I had to push down all the emotions that came with the bfn while I was gone and I haven't much wanted to talk about what's next for us. I just need a break emotionlly and physically. I guess we will do research while I'm taking a break. Anyways Iwill try to stay on top of all the post now.
Hi ladies - didn't want to read and run (and reading took me about 30 minutes! holy cow!) but don't have much time and had a few comments I really needed to make...
Feeling a bit down and depressed at the mo., as I've been doing Internet research into IVF (bad idea, I know), and found a reputable website which explained the process of IVF in minute detail. There is so much I don't know.
It claimed that some clinics abandon the IVF cycle if the woman produces only three eggs or less, as the chance of success is so low. I have been told by my clinic that as my amh is low (2.9) I will probably produce up to 5 embryos/ eggs and more than likely 1-3. So, what am I doing this for if the success rates are soooooo poor?? I know that our issue is my OH's swimmers, but still... I just need some good news or some anecdotal evidence that suggests that I'm not wasting my time doing this.... or just accept that it was not meant to be.
I know that I'm tired after the marking, but I also feel sooooooo down because of this whole TTC business. Feel such a failure, and IVF/ICSI gave some hope, but it's been dashed again.
Anyway, sorry for my selfish post.
I am thinking of you all, and hope that you are all okay.
Lots of and !
A
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Each dr has different criteria for canceling a cycle, so I would say this concern falls into my old mantra of don't compare your treatment to anyone else's - a good RE will develop an individual protocol for each individual patient, so what anyone else did absolutely does not matter. Talk to your dr about your concerns and ask him (among other things) what are his criteria for canceling a cycle. He may be able to put your concerns to rest.
Secondly, I'd really like to see ALL of us stop apologizing for "selfish" posts. There is nothing at all selfish about seeking help or support when you need it. We are all here to provide that support for each other. We all enjoy the chit chat in between those posts, but what brought us all together was the desire to find people who know what we're going through - asking for and providing that support is why we're all here in the first place. Place enough importance on YOURSELF that you don't feel selfish for posting when you need support. Every one of you on here is worth it.
AFM, started my injections tonight. (We're moving forward with our 3rd medicated IUI this cycle.) First time shooting up since late Feb (I think - don't really remember exactly when it was). Had to reread all the instructions because I couldn't remember what to do! Feeling kinda whatev about it today - I think we're just so busy this week with our guests (including my niece and nephew) that I'm not thinking about it much. As I shot up I remembered suddenly how exciting it was when I went into the office for my first IUI... and how cynical and jaded I am about the whole thing now, by comparison. Hence the whatev attitude today, but I'm sure that will change hourly over the next two weeks as I stim....
Welcome to the new ladies! And hey, would you all try to be a little less chatty tomorrow so staying on top of this thread isn't quite so difficult?!
PS - re the tent action, we had a similar moment... I was inflating the air mattress on the office floor for my nephew in preparation for their arrival, and DH decided the air mattress needed to be broken in!
Happy Auntie- I'm so excited for you that you started your injections/treatment. Wishing you nothing but the best! You will be in my thoughts and prayers!
Dwrgi sorry I made a mistake on my last post. My friend had IUI not IVF. And that website is called fertilityfriends.co.uk.
https://fertilityfriends.co.uk/
Hope you would feel much better soon hon xxx
Thanks Butterfly for your support. I hope you had a successful weekend, and that your is imminent. Fingers crossed for you.
Hugs to you Lava for your lovely advice and sage words of wisdom. I am soooo terrified of the IVF going wrong, that I am fluctuating daily between positive and negative emotions regarding the treatment. It does give me HUGE encouragement when I hear stories about your friend, who sounds as if she has the exact same problem as mine, re the darling swimmers. I know that I have got to remain positive and refrain from unnecessary web surfing because as sure as eggs are eggs (young or old) you will find horror stories. Yes, I am sure that once I start I shall feel much better. With your numbers looking so promising, I am certain that your pregnancy will go full term and that you will hold your bundle of joy before very long! But I can understand the worry, especially as it has been such a battle to achieve. Try and enjoy it though! It is still such wonderful news!! to you!
Thanks Missy also, and I agree, I am just looking for a reason to worry. I hope that you are feeling better-I bet you can't wait for your 5 mile run. I am very impressed! I think you understand the worry of deciding whether to go for IVF, and the fear of failure, but we 'have to be in it to win it.' Thanks also for the positive thought at the end-I shall certainly keep you updated on my treatment, and I hope it helps you too! I hope you're feeling a bit better hun. Big hun! xx
Thanks also OnMyMind-you're right, it only needs one egg and one sperm. I should count myself IN and not OUT!! Thanks for your words of kindness, I really needed picking up yesterday!! Your tent story made me laugh-I think I'll dig mine out too!!! Oo la la!!! Thanks, huni!
Thanks also to Luv-so sorry to hear that you've been feeling down too. The whole process of TTC is just dreadful, and no body can understand just hom demoralising each month is. I am glad that there are people on here who understand exactly how I feel, and that we can all help each other through it. I hope that you are feeling a little bit better-did you cover all bases when you ovulated??? Fingers crossed for a for you!
Thanks Macwooly for the positivity! Big hugs to you and I hope that you get some answers soon too, so that your TTC journey proves to be a short one. Incidentally, I have put my OH on Wellman Conception, vitamins C (100mg per day), vitamin e and zinc to improve count and motility. Things greatly improved, so it may be worth giving this a try! I wish I'd done this a year ago, when we had a duff apoointment with my FS..! Good luck with the appointment-don't take any nonsense from the NHS!
Thanks purplelou, for the positive vibes. You and I are the same age-how long have you been trying for?? I hope you get your soon!
HI Twinkle-certainly agree that internet surfing can be highly dangerous. Hope you're okay hun! Any more interesting experiences whilst out shopping??!!
HI TL-once again, I ADORE that piccy. Good luck with your appointment.
Hi Skye, how are you today hun? I hope that you are feeling a bit more settled now that you've had a scan and been back a few days. Thank you so much for your helpful advice. By all accounts this clinic, albeit fairly new, has a very good reputation, and the consultants there have all got glowing reviews on the web. I am glad that 2 amh is considered normal for my age; I am also so heartened to hear about your friend who got preggers with a lower amh than mine. You are so right in what you say about time going to watse and hindsight-I know that once I start treatment, I shall be fine. There is a huge block in letting go of the dream that I can conceive naturally-for months and years I was in denial about IVF, and who knows, I could have a little baby now if I'd just faced this issue head on, rather than procrastinating and thinking, 'this cycle will be the one'. It never was, and what am I 41 cycles later, I HAVE to do this and do this with the thought that it will work. What all this advice has done has made me realise that I have to be so much more pro-active than I would naturally like to be about my treatment, and be more forward and assertive in asking the clinic the questions I need answers to. Thanks for the tip about fertilityfriends. I am a member, but never use it as I find this far more approachable, if that makes sense?? But I shall search that link out and perhaps join their thread for advice.
The clinic have organised for my OH and I to have a session with their counsellor before we start treatment, and that session will be week Monday. I am looking forward to talking about my fear of failure, mental block about IVF etc. I am also glad that OH is on board-he really is wonderful (when he's not getting on my nerves ) since we had a LONG chat about how I really felt about him and his swimmers and my fears of IVF. Then, my period is due on July 5th ish (jsut before my 40th-who whoo) and I am supposed to start meds to suppress that cycle straight after-is this what they call down regulating??? Then it's all systems go. I haven't booked my hols yet-I want to finish my marking first as I really have not had any time to do anything normal, since starting; I also asked for another 100 scripts as, quite frankly, I need the money for the treatment now. So, I am 17 down with another 90 to go before I finially finish. In total, I'll have done 497. Phew. And boy will I need a break!
So, huge thanks to you, Skye, I think you are being very patient with me, as is everybody else on here, as I'm clearly quite a natural procrastinator.
Hi HA-good luck with the meds. Let's keep all fingers crossed that this will be YOUR cycle! Thanks for your advice-I wiol speak to my clinic about my fears. That is the best way, isn't it?? Hope all okay at home, and that you're enjoying your visitors. Big !
HI FM, glad you had a good break in SF-good idea to have a complete break. Hope you are okay after the BFN. Thinking of you.
And in case I've missed anybody, hello-If you're lurking Pad and Ginger, thinking of you and lots of love!
Over and out for now guys! Yet another script beckons!! Have a good day!
Dwrgi sorry I made a mistake on my last post. My friend had IUI not IVF. And that website is called fertilityfriends.co.uk.
https://fertilityfriends.co.uk/
Hope you would feel much better soon hon xxx
Hey ladies, I am back from San Francisco, we had a wonderful time. I am currently cd 5 and don't know whats next. I had to push down all the emotions that came with the bfn while I was gone and I haven't much wanted to talk about what's next for us. I just need a break emotionlly and physically. I guess we will do research while I'm taking a break. Anyways Iwill try to stay on top of all the post now.
Welcome back honey!!! I am so glad you had a wonderful time, i agree with you, i think you need to take a step back and just relax for a bit, nothing wrong with taking a break now and then. I will be pulling up in the "Whatevers" wagon in a bit, hop on and we will have us some fun!!
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) Hope you would enjoy it in here.
and 
!
And hey, would you all try to be a little less chatty tomorrow so staying on top of this thread isn't quite so difficult?! 
I need a flush and shower..better yet a hotel room.
is imminent. Fingers crossed for you.
