TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[HappyAuntie]

big hugs to Deb - always glad to see you pop in, and know we'll be here whenever you're ready.

 

[padbrat]

Have just emailed 3 clinics..... scary........

Kisses and hugs to you all xxxxxxx

 

[Neversaynever]

Debs...good to see you back, you're being thought of loads and I even had my journal stalkers thinking of you

HA...thinking positive thoughts for this cycle hun

everyone

I'm am on the whatever wagon and doing a grand job no POAS action what so ever occurring for the next couple of months. I haven't even looked at my cycle app this month

Hope everyone is doing whatever

XxX

 

[Dwrgi]

Have just emailed 3 clinics..... scary........

Kisses and hugs to you all xxxxxxx

Go for it dude! You don't want to do nothing and look back in years to come and wish that you had...

We are right behind you!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[lavalux]

Deb,
So good to hear from you. I am so glad you are still around. Please never forget, that whatever you decide is the next step, we will be routing for you. You have such an amazing husband too.

To chime in on the never wanting kids, I never gave it much thought but believed it didn't make a huge difference either way. I wasted a lot of time with guys who didn't want kids & since I always broke up with those guys, somewhere in my heart I knew I wanted to be a mom some day. I think part of it was that I could not imagine raising a kid with those exes. When I met my DH, mu feelings immediately changed.

Butterfly,
Your guy sounds awesome! Do y'all not live in the same city?? Have yall talked about getting back together some day or have you moved past any romantic feeling? Sounds like you still have a good foundation of friendship.

AFM,
I have my 1st scan today. Since I have not completed 6 weeks yet, I am trying to manage my expectations and realize it is too soon to see a heartbeat. I think they are just looking for the yolk sac & gestational sac, rule out ectopic pregnancy, check for multiples and maybe check my bloods. I am on pins & needles & feel tired & emotionally raw right now. I had crazy scary dreams last night & couldn't get back to sleep.

Lots of love & babydust. Dwgri, thanks for thinking of me. I will post later with an update.

 

[Macwooly]

Padbrat - And wishing you all the best on the decisions you are considering

Macwooly, well you have obviously tried more than 6 cycles so break or no break doesn't matter. I hope you would get a appt very soon. What is your age if you don't mind me asking?

Got my appointment next Tuesday at 7am so we'll see what they say. I'm 40 (41 in Dec) and DH is 41 next month.

 

[missyt]

Purplelou, I understand how you feel about not wanting kids until later in life. I think there is nothing wrong with that. There are so many young adults out there that have children when the aren't emotionally mature or finanically stable. How does that give a child a good life? I wish biology is different and we were more fertile in our 30's and so on. Also, I think there are more women today who have younger men. My DH is younger than me too.

Butterfly, I think it great you want to be a single mom. If I hadn't met DH I would be doing the same thing. I have a friend who is almost 39 but single and she told me recenlty she did want children but is waiting to meet a guy first. I told her that she could always do it on her own, she said no way. I don't understand why she feels she needs a man around. I hate to see her lose out on being a mother because she has an expectation in her head. Also, I have another friend who has a friend who divorced her husband and then realized she wanted children in her late 30's. She did IVF with a donor twice and both were failed. She gave up. Then she had a fling with an old flame and fell pregnant. She was so happy to be pregnant but she didn't want a man to be involved. LOL. Its funny how things work.

Chris, I feel the same way. I struggle with this guilt that I think I'm being punished by God for some reason and that is why I can't get pregnant now. I know God doesn't work that way but I'm left every month asking "why"? The reassurance of all you girls on this site makes me deal with it better and I feel like I'm not alone.

Northstar, I was in an abusive relationship too and that is why I put off having children. A year after we got married we got a puppy and he beat him so I made the decision that he wouldn't be a patient dad and never got off BCP with him even though he wanted children. We got the 2nd puppy and that one was scared to death all the time from seeing the first one get beat all the time. A year later I finally left and took the dogs with me. My current DH is very patient and good to the dogs but the emotional scars are still there. My 1st dog doesn't trust men and the 2nd one is still very skiddish. I am glad I didn't have kids with my ex but sometimes I wonder if I missed my window of opportunity. I know its hard when you waste your good years on the wrong guy. DH and and I have been trying for a little over a year so we are in the same boat.

Debs, I'm glad to see you poke your head out. I'm rooting for you.

Lava, I'm sorry you had bad dreams. I know they can seem so real and really scare you. I'm sure everything will be fine.

 

[skye2010]

Dwrgi I saw you in my dream, actually your pict. You were teaching in the same school as my friend )) I saw the staff photo and I said "I know this lady, she is DWRGI" Than I asked her how you were and if you seemed a bit worried nowadays. How weird is that? I guess I shouldn't post last thing before I go to bed.

Northstar, well done for leaving an abusive man behind. That must have been difficult but you have done it. Sorry if you wrote about this before but have you done any testing at all? Since you've been TTC 12 months have you seen a specialist yet?

Hey Lynn how are you? Soon you will come back with more picts ) and you are almost finished with first trimester Well done ))

Butterfly have you also had any testing? Might be worth seeing a specialist since you seem to have a time limit for TTC.

Lava, you'll be fine hon, I'm sure. I'm really curious about how many sacs you have Pls update asap. I'm seeing very vivid dreams nowadays too. Wake up really tired and sluggish each morning. Apparently it's the hormones so don't worry.

Nevernever, did your pains subside? Any more accurate diagnosis at all?

HA

Sthg really weird happened in my mum's appartment. Our downstairs neighbour was a retired dr who became ill 2 years ago. They went a bit cuckoo with his illness and stopped seeing anyone at all. He and the whole family almost imprisoned themselves inside the house because that was his request. His poor wife also completely isolated herself from the outside world. The reason was they were trying to eliminate bacteria coming from outside. Which sounds crazy. I think she only left the house for essential shopping in these two years and nothing else. Wouldn't accept any guests or visit any neighbours. Than a few days ago the man jumped from the balcony and committed suicide. I think he just got really depressed in the end and lost all hope. So weird. It just says sthg about how much we need hope and human contact, support. The poor man made his life miserable as well as his wife's for his final years. Mad really.

Anyway AFM I'm ok except feeling tired and sleepy all the time. I wish I was a cat...

 

[Fallen Ambers]

Just wanted to take a moment to quickly introduce myself to all you wonderful ladies~

I'm 39 and DH is 46, we have no living children, but we have angel twin boys in Heaven. Please see my signature.
It's been a long winding road, but we are still walking it.
After 4 years of of working through my grief, accepting the loss, we have decided that we wanted to try again.
We can't conceive the normal way, so we rely on fertility treatments. We got pregnant with the twins on our 2nd IUI attempt. The 1st round was on Clomid and that didn't work out. For the 2nd IUI, we did all injectibles and got a BFP.

I have an appointment with my RE on July 13th~ I am so excited at the possibility of getting pregnant once again. I, too, was worried about my age, but after reading all the positive stories on here, I have no doubt I can get pregnant again.
I know my RE will order a bunch of tests before we move forward with an IUI cycle, so I'm praying all comes back A-OK.

Babydust to all of us~

 

[Macwooly]

Just wanted to take a moment to quickly introduce myself to all you wonderful ladies~

I'm 39 and DH is 46, we have no living children, but we have angel twin boys in Heaven. Please see my signature.
It's been a long winding road, but we are still walking it.
After 4 years of of working through my grief, accepting the loss, we have decided that we wanted to try again.
We can't conceive the normal way, so we rely on fertility treatments. We got pregnant with the twins on our 2nd IUI attempt. The 1st round was on Clomid and that didn't work out. For the 2nd IUI, we did all injectibles and got a BFP.

I have an appointment with my RE on July 13th~ I am so excited at the possibility of getting pregnant once again. I, too, was worried about my age, but after reading all the positive stories on here, I have no doubt I can get pregnant again.
I know my RE will order a bunch of tests before we move forward with an IUI cycle, so I'm praying all comes back A-OK.

Babydust to all of us~

So sorry for your lose

Good luck with your appointment and hope you get your BFP and successful pregnancy soon

 

[onmymind17]

I just had to chime in on the kids discussion... I was the same... I always said I didn't want kids. It was because since the age of 11 I was told my Docs that I could never have kids because of my translocated chromosome... so why want something you can never have?

My Husband married me knowing he would never be a Father.

And then the Germans gave me thyroxine and fixed my dead thyroid and I fell pregnant for the first time. Suddenly it was a possibility.... and the feeling of life inside you is something so amazing... and then it is all dashed away.

We may be giving this thing one more chance.... am looking at PGD or ED abroad. If this does go ahead I will need you all more than I ever have before.

Please ladies... know I am still here. I am still reading all your posts... i just can't bring myself to do anything much but lurk at the moment. It is all too painful.

Oh honey we will be right here for you, if i could i would wish that i would give up having a child so that you could have one!!! I am sending all my love and hugs your way, and a ton of and sticky dust too!!!

 

[onmymind17]

Deb,
So good to hear from you. I am so glad you are still around. Please never forget, that whatever you decide is the next step, we will be routing for you. You have such an amazing husband too.

To chime in on the never wanting kids, I never gave it much thought but believed it didn't make a huge difference either way. I wasted a lot of time with guys who didn't want kids & since I always broke up with those guys, somewhere in my heart I knew I wanted to be a mom some day. I think part of it was that I could not imagine raising a kid with those exes. When I met my DH, mu feelings immediately changed.

Butterfly,
Your guy sounds awesome! Do y'all not live in the same city?? Have yall talked about getting back together some day or have you moved past any romantic feeling? Sounds like you still have a good foundation of friendship.

AFM,
I have my 1st scan today. Since I have not completed 6 weeks yet, I am trying to manage my expectations and realize it is too soon to see a heartbeat. I think they are just looking for the yolk sac & gestational sac, rule out ectopic pregnancy, check for multiples and maybe check my bloods. I am on pins & needles & feel tired & emotionally raw right now. I had crazy scary dreams last night & couldn't get back to sleep.

Lots of love & babydust. Dwgri, thanks for thinking of me. I will post later with an update.

I have everything possible crossed for you and i so hope you see a heartbeat!!!

 

[skye2010]

Missy, it sounds like you had slim escape from a lifelong disaster too. How awful is a man beating up a small puppy. Also our conditions has nothing to do with punishment. i know you know it deep inside but I want to say it anyway. God would be punishing those abusive parents before punishing girls like us who are desperate to love a child. There are babies born to serious criminals, murderers, junkies even pedophiles. There was a case a couple of years ago in UK. A woman who was already a grandmother working as a child minder in a nursery. Touching, abusing and taking photos of toddler boys. I think she got caught cause it was a gang of them and they were exchanging the photos. Really disgusting. She deserved being childless more than any of us in here.

This is all biological hon. There's sthg in our fertility track that doesn't function properly for some reason. Medicine is not as advanced yet to point the finger on every fertility disfunction. You know how some people have failed IVF and than bam got pregnant by chance. It just shows us how mysterious fertility is. In the mean time because we are all over 35 and some of us have tried long enough and got fed up and desperate we go for tx. You still have a path to explore so say even if you are being punished (not but say if you did) your final punishment is not there yet ))) You will get pregnant in the end. You just need some patience for the time being. And you need to believe that it will happen.

 

[onmymind17]

Just wanted to take a moment to quickly introduce myself to all you wonderful ladies~

I'm 39 and DH is 46, we have no living children, but we have angel twin boys in Heaven. Please see my signature.
It's been a long winding road, but we are still walking it.
After 4 years of of working through my grief, accepting the loss, we have decided that we wanted to try again.
We can't conceive the normal way, so we rely on fertility treatments. We got pregnant with the twins on our 2nd IUI attempt. The 1st round was on Clomid and that didn't work out. For the 2nd IUI, we did all injectibles and got a BFP.

I have an appointment with my RE on July 13th~ I am so excited at the possibility of getting pregnant once again. I, too, was worried about my age, but after reading all the positive stories on here, I have no doubt I can get pregnant again.
I know my RE will order a bunch of tests before we move forward with an IUI cycle, so I'm praying all comes back A-OK.

Babydust to all of us~

Fallen Ambers, welcome!! I am so sorry for your loss, this is the best bunch of ladies ever, and we will all support you in your journey!! I am Chris, and i drive the "Whatevers" wagon lol, so whenever you want to hop on with us and say WHATEVER!! lol

 

[onmymind17]

Purplelou, I understand how you feel about not wanting kids until later in life. I think there is nothing wrong with that. There are so many young adults out there that have children when the aren't emotionally mature or finanically stable. How does that give a child a good life? I wish biology is different and we were more fertile in our 30's and so on. Also, I think there are more women today who have younger men. My DH is younger than me too.

Butterfly, I think it great you want to be a single mom. If I hadn't met DH I would be doing the same thing. I have a friend who is almost 39 but single and she told me recenlty she did want children but is waiting to meet a guy first. I told her that she could always do it on her own, she said no way. I don't understand why she feels she needs a man around. I hate to see her lose out on being a mother because she has an expectation in her head. Also, I have another friend who has a friend who divorced her husband and then realized she wanted children in her late 30's. She did IVF with a donor twice and both were failed. She gave up. Then she had a fling with an old flame and fell pregnant. She was so happy to be pregnant but she didn't want a man to be involved. LOL. Its funny how things work.

Chris, I feel the same way. I struggle with this guilt that I think I'm being punished by God for some reason and that is why I can't get pregnant now. I know God doesn't work that way but I'm left every month asking "why"? The reassurance of all you girls on this site makes me deal with it better and I feel like I'm not alone.

Northstar, I was in an abusive relationship too and that is why I put off having children. A year after we got married we got a puppy and he beat him so I made the decision that he wouldn't be a patient dad and never got off BCP with him even though he wanted children. We got the 2nd puppy and that one was scared to death all the time from seeing the first one get beat all the time. A year later I finally left and took the dogs with me. My current DH is very patient and good to the dogs but the emotional scars are still there. My 1st dog doesn't trust men and the 2nd one is still very skiddish. I am glad I didn't have kids with my ex but sometimes I wonder if I missed my window of opportunity. I know its hard when you waste your good years on the wrong guy. DH and and I have been trying for a little over a year so we are in the same boat.

Debs, I'm glad to see you poke your head out. I'm rooting for you.

Lava, I'm sorry you had bad dreams. I know they can seem so real and really scare you. I'm sure everything will be fine.

Please dont blame yourself, i think you did the right thing, if he would beat up a puppy he would have done it with children. I believe you did not get pg then because God saw he was not the right man. Your time will come, and you will be blessed with a child!! Skye is right, God is not punishing us, we just have to have faith and believe it can happen.

 

[lynnb]

Deb - Exciting but scary, let us know how you get on hun

Skye - I'm fine thanks, very tired as I'm not sleeping well at the moment so I can relate to you wanting to be a cat. I keep waking up to wee about 3am & can't get back to sleep & I've also been feeling a little sick from time to time lately. Hopefully, fx'd, will be back on Monday with more pics & then off on holiday on Tuesday. Can't believe I've made it this far Apart from the tiredness how are you feeling?

Fallen Ambers - Welcome. So sorry for you loss. Good luck with your appointment.

 

[newmarriedgal]

Hi Ladies!

Been out with a bad cold, no fun! but I've had enough decaf tea float a ship and am laying on the couch watching lifetime in my pjs! Hubby left enough water, crackers and tissues around me and is coming home for lunch to visit.
I had my second blood test yesterday to see if my hcg levels went up (they were 122 Monday) and while they more than tripled to 426, it's still too low for me to even come in for the first appointment! She said wait until Monday or Wed next week to get it into the 20,000s but it may take longer than that! While I'm not freaking out, I and not liking the waiting!

Hi Fallen Ambers welcome!

Padbrat - even though I am very new here, I have read your other posts and you have been in my thoughts and prayers daily. Wishing you strength and peace!

missyt - I am grateful you are now out of that bad relationship and into a healthy and loving one! Onmymind is right - he would have just transferred the beatings to children or even you. It takes a strong woman to leave, remember that!

Hi to everyone else this morning, hope you are all doing well!

 

[lavalux]

Missyt, you were brave & right to leave your ex. Finding your DH should be proof that God wants to bless you, not punish. You will have your little one to hold!

newmarriedgal ... how did I miss that you are pg!? That is wonderful news! Congrats. I knew yu were having lots of symptoms. Hope that cold goes away & keep us posted on your rising numbers!

Welcome, Fallen Ambers. So sorry for your loss. Wishing you a sticky bean very soon!

 

[purplelou]

Hi Fallen Ambers, welcome to the thread, the ladies here are all so very wise and friendly! I am so sorry for your loss

lynnb - hope your sleeping pattern settles - nothing worse than being tired all the time :yawn:

skye - I completely agree, there are some people who don't deserve to be anywhere near children (like that woman you mentioned!) but the ladies here are all very desrving to be mommies!
missyt and northstar - it is very courageous to leave a partner who is controlling or abusive!

newmarriedgal - hope you are feeling better soon!

HA - How are the meds going?

Lava - good luck on the scan, will be keeping fingers crossed.

Big hugs to everyone

afm- I am having some pinkish creamy cm (TMI) today - never had before, no itching or pain etc and I am cd 16 - but not sure of how many days cos my cycle has only just returned, very odd! scared myself silly by reading about early menopause yesterday bah!!! won't do that again.

 

[NorthStar]

Thanks missyt, every day in life I wake up grateful that I'm no longer with that person, I took my dogs and left too, so our stories are pretty similar. My new partner now, I told him from the get go it was "love me love my dogs", and my only regret is not leaving sooner, but I was living overseas with very little support around me, and couldn't see a way out of the situation.

Skey2010 thanks, no medical intervention as we've actually only been trying for 6 weeks, he's been ready for 12 months (which is lovely! this man is like a breath of fresh air in my life, no manipulation or hidden agenda) but I was not ready to make that leap yet, so we're only on cycle 2, my doctor is tremendously helpful, if no BFP in 6 months we'll head down there for all the tests.

Also I'd only just moved back to the UK when I got together with my partner I needed to establish myself and become financially secure (left with only my dogs and a suitcase) before we started trying.