TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[maxxiandniko]

I just wanted to say that every month I'm convinced AF won't show and every month she does and I'm upset. I never have a concrete reason to think I'm pg and I try so hard not to convince myself I am but I can't seem to do it! I tell myself not to test and then I run out and buy a box. I'm waiting for AF to show and all I'm doing now is spotting. It's cruel. If she's going to come hurry up so I can focus on a new cycle! Instead I get spotting, very sore bbs, clear skin and serious tiredness. Plays with my mind. I know that I should be thankful that I ovulate each month and have been pregnant twice in less than one year but I never feel very hopeful. Thanks to everyone for listening

 

[maxxiandniko]

Hello ladies... I know so many of you already...

Kelster... my hug mate. Omi... every the practical realist who helps kick me up the ass and Heart.... who somehow always says just the right thing....

So nice to see all you other ladies too.... and I am hoping that we will all move to 1st tri and end up with wiggling healthy babies soon....

I am 38, Hubby is 37 and we have had 3 m/c from Feb 07 to May 10 and have lost 4 babies... At the mo bding is on hold as I have to wait to see the recurrent m/c specialist on 1 July (Boo Hoo)...though in preparation I have hubby and me on his and hers preconcieve... better bloody work LOL!!!

Speak to you all soon xx

Padbrat - I'll be very interested in hearing what the specialist has to say. Too bad you have to go but I think all will work out. I've had 1 mc and 1 chemical pregnancy and my ob is not looking to send me anywhere yet. I have feeling I'll end up with a specialist anyway. Can't wait to hear from you!

 

[heart tree]

I just wanted to say that every month I'm convinced AF won't show and every month she does and I'm upset. I never have a concrete reason to think I'm pg and I try so hard not to convince myself I am but I can't seem to do it! I tell myself not to test and then I run out and buy a box. I'm waiting for AF to show and all I'm doing now is spotting. It's cruel. If she's going to come hurry up so I can focus on a new cycle! Instead I get spotting, very sore bbs, clear skin and serious tiredness. Plays with my mind. I know that I should be thankful that I ovulate each month and have been pregnant twice in less than one year but I never feel very hopeful. Thanks to everyone for listening

Hey babe, I just want to echo what you are saying. I'm in the exact same position you are. I'm at 11dpo today and have been spotting since 8dpo. I'm so irritated by this. I've never spotted this much before getting AF. I'm quite sure I'm not pregnant. I'm refusing to test as I know AF is around the corner, but I just want to get on with it so I can get on to my new cycle. I know EXACTLY what you mean!!! I've also been pregnant twice but I'm so frustrated with this process. When is your AF due? I hope we get ours soon so we can move on. July will be our month!

 

[HappyAuntie]

Hi ladies!! I was on vacation and missed the launch of our own 35+ forum - I'm so excited!!

My story is that DH and I are both 36 (I'll be 37 in two months) and we're TTC #1 after 2 mcs - first at 12 weeks in May '09 (mother's day weekend, no less ), second at 8 weeks in Mar '10. Both times we've gotten the BFP with just one month of ttc, so I guess we're fortunate on that count. After the 2nd, my dr sent us to a specialist for testing - we should get the last results in about two weeks. So far it's turned up that I'm heterozygous MTHFR. Probably didn't cause my losses, but it does make me feel a little better anyway.

We've been married 11 yrs now, it just took us 10 yrs to decide we wanted kids. Now that we're having trouble making that happen, I have to keep reminding myself that I'd still rather be an "older" mother than a reluctant mother, one who had her kids when she just wasn't ready for them.

Lately I've found myself thinking absolutely horrible ugly thoughts every time another friend or acquaintance or relative announces her BFP. I have to tell myself there's a big difference between thinking ugly thoughts and actually wanting them to come true... it's not like I actually want anyone to ever go through the pain of loss like we have, but in those moments I am overcome with feelings of envy and anger that it's so easy for so many - they have no idea how lucky they are.

love, love, love having our own little corner on B&B!!

 

[caroleb73]

I just wanted to say that every month I'm convinced AF won't show and every month she does and I'm upset. I never have a concrete reason to think I'm pg and I try so hard not to convince myself I am but I can't seem to do it! I tell myself not to test and then I run out and buy a box. I'm waiting for AF to show and all I'm doing now is spotting. It's cruel. If she's going to come hurry up so I can focus on a new cycle! Instead I get spotting, very sore bbs, clear skin and serious tiredness. Plays with my mind. I know that I should be thankful that I ovulate each month and have been pregnant twice in less than one year but I never feel very hopeful. Thanks to everyone for listening

Hey I completely relate to how you are feeling as I have been TTC for 1 year now and absolutley no luck. At first I was ok and relaxed and just thought that it would happen but as time went by I got myself into such a state when my period came and felt inadequate as I couldn't seem to achieve the most natural thing in the world - pregnancy. I think what really made it worse for me is that right now about 95% of my close female friends are pregnant including my sister and sister in-law. It seems that whenever my DH and I meet socially with friends they all ask the question "aren't you preganant yet" and I know they mean well but it just really upsets me. I just feel like they cannot really understand how I feel as everything happened so easily for them.

I have just gone through fertility testing but all came back fine for both of us, cycle is regular, I am ovulating and eggs look good. Doctor is giving us a helping hand this cycle and gave me an injection to stimulate the eggs and I am now 2 DPO and taking progesterone to help a pregnancy stick if we are lucky this month.

I am trying not to become too obsessed in the 2WW but it is just so hard, every time I feel a little tired or sore bbs I too have the urge to test. I think it is natural for women in our position as we just want a baby so much. Next week is going to be the worst for me as I will be itching to pop to the chemist and get a test but gonna try hard not to.

Hang on in there, we are all here for each other and I hope that all of us have happy news to share soon

 

[caroleb73]

Carole, actually i am greek! I just have moved alot over the years: Canada, UK and now ive been back home for about 7 years and planning on staying for good! I really missed my family and friends when i was abroad as well, and now with the ttc i couldnt imagine having to go through it only with dh.

Vicky, being back home must be great and exspecially since Greece is your home!! Gorgeous country.

I do find it tough although my Mum is great and always at the end of the phone to keep my spirits up. My phone bills are a little scary lately but hey my husband is great and knows that it keeps me sane.

My Mum always reminds me that she was 43 when she had my little sister, completely unplanned but she had a perfect pregnancy. I hold onto this and hope that my turn will come.

 

[kelster823]

Kelster... my hug mate. Omi... every the practical realist who helps kick me up the ass and Heart.... who somehow always says just the right thing....

ahhh bub........how are you? so excited to know your appointment is coming up soon.... I know it seem like forever for you but that came quick..... me.... still waiting to "O" this frigin cycle.... grrrrrrrrrr I "think" it was yesterday or today...

((( BIG SQUISHIE HUGS ))) I haven't done that in a while..... been real busy..and for that I apologize.....
DH threw me a "surprise 40th bday party" this past weekend (even though my 40th isn't til 2 months from today).. I really needed that after all we have been thru in the last few months.......

Good morning to all the other lovelies hope to get to know you all and go thru our journey together

 

[vickyd]

Hey ladies!
Im having quite a rough couple of days....At work they introduced a new health insurance plan, and all of us gathered to discuss what it covers ect. Three of my colegues at different times pointed out to me that it does not cover miscarriage in the first trimester but that it does cover D&C and abortion costs....Everyone is assuming ill be having a third loss i think....I feel so gutted and like a complete looser at the moment...

 

[caroleb73]

Hey ladies!
Im having quite a rough couple of days....At work they introduced a new health insurance plan, and all of us gathered to discuss what it covers ect. Three of my colegues at different times pointed out to me that it does not cover miscarriage in the first trimester but that it does cover D&C and abortion costs....Everyone is assuming ill be having a third loss i think....I feel so gutted and like a complete looser at the moment...

Vicky, I am utterly disgusted with your co-workers, how insensitive. You are so not a loser they are the ones with problems for behaving in such a manner.

You have to believe that your next pregnancy will stick and all will be ok. Each and everyone of us needs to believe that our miracle will happen and soon.

Hang in there and maybe if the issue is discussed again tell your co-workers how this makes you feel. You may find that they really didn't mean to upset you.

Sending you big hugs

 

[kelster823]

Three of my colegues at different times pointed out to me that it does not cover miscarriage in the first trimester but that it does cover D&C and abortion costs....Everyone is assuming ill be having a third loss i think....I feel so gutted and like a complete looser at the moment

how utterly NASTY of your co-workers to even CONSIDER thinking that... or even bringing it up......

I am truly sorry for this whole issue... I am also stunned that the insurance will not cover that.... that is a TRUE medical issue.......

you are NOT a looser

 

[vickyd]

thanks ladies! Most of all im glad that you too think it was improper of them, cause sometimes i feel that i may be oversensitive....
Yeah the insurance plan is rubbish but we also have national health service which although covers these issues you still have to pay an amount out of your pocket.
Socialised medicine right???

 

[maxxiandniko]

Hey ladies!
Im having quite a rough couple of days....At work they introduced a new health insurance plan, and all of us gathered to discuss what it covers ect. Three of my colegues at different times pointed out to me that it does not cover miscarriage in the first trimester but that it does cover D&C and abortion costs....Everyone is assuming ill be having a third loss i think....I feel so gutted and like a complete looser at the moment...

Find another job!! Your coworkers suck!! Just kidding. I know it's not that easy.

 

[maxxiandniko]

I just wanted to say that every month I'm convinced AF won't show and every month she does and I'm upset. I never have a concrete reason to think I'm pg and I try so hard not to convince myself I am but I can't seem to do it! I tell myself not to test and then I run out and buy a box. I'm waiting for AF to show and all I'm doing now is spotting. It's cruel. If she's going to come hurry up so I can focus on a new cycle! Instead I get spotting, very sore bbs, clear skin and serious tiredness. Plays with my mind. I know that I should be thankful that I ovulate each month and have been pregnant twice in less than one year but I never feel very hopeful. Thanks to everyone for listening

Hey babe, I just want to echo what you are saying. I'm in the exact same position you are. I'm at 11dpo today and have been spotting since 8dpo. I'm so irritated by this. I've never spotted this much before getting AF. I'm quite sure I'm not pregnant. I'm refusing to test as I know AF is around the corner, but I just want to get on with it so I can get on to my new cycle. I know EXACTLY what you mean!!! I've also been pregnant twice but I'm so frustrated with this process. When is your AF due? I hope we get ours soon so we can move on. July will be our month!

Hey back! I don't know when AF is supposed to come which is part of the problem. My periods are irregular. One month I'm 26 days, another 21, another 25. I use the cbfm so I know when I ovulate and today I'm on CD 28 and 12 dpo. I'm assuming that something has to happen within the next 4 days unless my cycle has decided to run long now (just my luck).

 

[maxxiandniko]

Hi ladies!! I was on vacation and missed the launch of our own 35+ forum - I'm so excited!!

My story is that DH and I are both 36 (I'll be 37 in two months) and we're TTC #1 after 2 mcs - first at 12 weeks in May '09 (mother's day weekend, no less ), second at 8 weeks in Mar '10. Both times we've gotten the BFP with just one month of ttc, so I guess we're fortunate on that count. After the 2nd, my dr sent us to a specialist for testing - we should get the last results in about two weeks. So far it's turned up that I'm heterozygous MTHFR. Probably didn't cause my losses, but it does make me feel a little better anyway.

We've been married 11 yrs now, it just took us 10 yrs to decide we wanted kids. Now that we're having trouble making that happen, I have to keep reminding myself that I'd still rather be an "older" mother than a reluctant mother, one who had her kids when she just wasn't ready for them.

Lately I've found myself thinking absolutely horrible ugly thoughts every time another friend or acquaintance or relative announces her BFP. I have to tell myself there's a big difference between thinking ugly thoughts and actually wanting them to come true... it's not like I actually want anyone to ever go through the pain of loss like we have, but in those moments I am overcome with feelings of envy and anger that it's so easy for so many - they have no idea how lucky they are.

love, love, love having our own little corner on B&B!!

Me too. Don't feel bad about it either. It's hard not to sometimes feel the way you do when you've had all this loss

 

[HappyAuntie]

thanks ladies! Most of all im glad that you too think it was improper of them, cause sometimes i feel that i may be oversensitive....
Yeah the insurance plan is rubbish but we also have national health service which although covers these issues you still have to pay an amount out of your pocket.
Socialised medicine right???

absolutely horrid of them, but caroleb is right - they may not even realize how hurtful their comments are. If it comes up again, I would tell them so, so maybe they won't hurt someone else with their comments.

 

[twinkle1975]

Oh dear - I hadn't realised how over emotional I was at the moment until I saw this new forum & burst into tears!!
Thank you for starting a TTC#1 thread too - I know its hard for everyone if they're finding it difficult to conceive but when I read posts from people saying they are trying for #4 I can't helping the little voice inside that says 'would it be too much for me to have just 1?'

 

[vickyd]

Twinkle i know what you mean...I too sometimes find it difficult to be understanding of the difficulties in conceiving #3 or #4...I will be soooo happy when i have my first i might just stop there LOL!!!

 

[padbrat]

Hello ladies... I know so many of you already...

Kelster... my hug mate. Omi... every the practical realist who helps kick me up the ass and Heart.... who somehow always says just the right thing....

So nice to see all you other ladies too.... and I am hoping that we will all move to 1st tri and end up with wiggling healthy babies soon....

I am 38, Hubby is 37 and we have had 3 m/c from Feb 07 to May 10 and have lost 4 babies... At the mo bding is on hold as I have to wait to see the recurrent m/c specialist on 1 July (Boo Hoo)...though in preparation I have hubby and me on his and hers preconcieve... better bloody work LOL!!!

Speak to you all soon xx

Padbrat - I'll be very interested in hearing what the specialist has to say. Too bad you have to go but I think all will work out. I've had 1 mc and 1 chemical pregnancy and my ob is not looking to send me anywhere yet. I have feeling I'll end up with a specialist anyway. Can't wait to hear from you!

Hiya! I will def let everyone know what the Consultant says.... I was at the Genetic Consultant the other day as I have a chromosome deletion.... but good news the Consultant (after many tests) says my genetic condition cannot cause my m/c's.... it can cause quite severe problems for a male baby (a whole nother story)... but not so severe that I would lose it. He says he will send the findings to the M/C Consultant... so another piece in the jigsaw fits in... he has also agreed to test hubby for genetic issues...BONUS!

I am keen to share all that the docs tell me... cos if it can help any of you then that is great!

Kelster.. I have sooo missed your hugs how are you my lovely? I am not even doing my cbfm until after the appt... trying to put it out of my mind LOL. Hope you did O though and you get your bfp chick!

Heart how's you chick? Please don't be down... I can't give you the fabulous words you give me .... but I am here for you.

It is so great to meet you other ladies and I hope that we can support eachother through this.... bfp's all round for us all I say! LOL

A big dose of PMA and Baby Dust to all xx

 

[MissyMarie]

Hi everyone. I will be 36 next month and have been TTC for one month. Its funny, you are on the pill to stop getting pregnant so I thought hey, Ill come off it and get pregnant straight away. Looking at your posts, it doesnt work that way Very bad pains in tummy today, not sure what they are. Came off pill on 21 May and had a 3 day bleed. Didnt know if it was withdrawal or actual AF but doctor said its the same thing. Anyway, no AF since. No spotting or anything either. Good to know that there are more over 35s out there TTC especially TTC number 1 xx

 

[maxxiandniko]

Oh dear - I hadn't realised how over emotional I was at the moment until I saw this new forum & burst into tears!!
Thank you for starting a TTC#1 thread too - I know its hard for everyone if they're finding it difficult to conceive but when I read posts from people saying they are trying for #4 I can't helping the little voice inside that says 'would it be too much for me to have just 1?'

I completely feel the same way!! It's hard to empathize with someone (as harsh as that sounds) who's struggling with #3, #4, whatever. I've always wanted 2 and the other day I felt this overwhelming sense of hopelessness thinking that I'll never have 2 because I'm too tired of trying for one.