TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[skye2010]

Macwooly "Llangollen" name sounds like it belonged to the Lord of the Rings so I googled it. It is such a pretty place, absolutely beatiful ) Might be a very nice place to live. Good luck with house hunting Also good luck with the appt. Although one thing strike my mind if you are going to move better do it soon than later down the line of NHS appt's cause once you are referred to a hospital if you change your post code you might lose your place in that hospital and have to be referred again to your local hospital cause the GP you belong to pays for all the txs. Really annoying system.

Purple many many good lucks to you and kisses ) xxx My next NHS appt was on 22 weeks and I couldn't wait that long to find out the babies sex so I will have a sneaky private scan in my local hospital in 2 weeks time.

Dwrgi when are u off?

Ceedee you might be ovulating?

Twinks I keep saying you will need medal, for being a steely determined woman, in the end bb.

hi Northstar, Lava, Chris, Butterfly, Luvy, Debs, Missy, Ha, Ma and all the girls who are lurking. for all. I can't wait for you girls to join the Grads. There isn't as many ladies on that thread, some have left and some will be having the bb soon soo it is a little slow at the moment. Would be lovely to have the whole bunch of you there

 

[Butterfly67]

Hi Ladies, I know we are not supposed to apologise for a selfish post but I will, and this is it.

Am feeling totally despondant today as AF will for sure arrive today or tomorrow - lots of spotting and cramps and just look at my temp so really I know she is coming - I know I haven't been at this long but I am almost out of luck already. The BF is away in August, and in September I am supposed to return 'home' which is to a country where it is illegal to be single and pregnant. Plus the fact that the BF will be 4000 miles away so any chance will involve expensive flights.

I had a quick look into overseas adoption but I saw a figure of £50-60k involved and there is no way I have that!!!

So am a bit tearful today and can only see a life of nothingness ahead. Sorry ladies to offload my misery but I know you will understand

 

[Macwooly]

Hi Ladies, I know we are not supposed to apologise for a selfish post but I will, and this is it.

Am feeling totally despondant today as AF will for sure arrive today or tomorrow - lots of spotting and cramps and just look at my temp so really I know she is coming - I know I haven't been at this long but I am almost out of luck already. The BF is away in August, and in September I am supposed to return 'home' which is to a country where it is illegal to be single and pregnant. Plus the fact that the BF will be 4000 miles away so any chance will involve expensive flights.

I had a quick look into overseas adoption but I saw a figure of £50-60k involved and there is no way I have that!!!

So am a bit tearful today and can only see a life of nothingness ahead. Sorry ladies to offload my misery but I know you will understand

 

[skweek35]

butterfly
I know how you are feeling. I went through the same feelings a few years back, but I was single and desperately wanted to have kids!!!
Hang in there!! you will get your sticky bean

 

[twinkle1975]

Hi Ladies, I know we are not supposed to apologise for a selfish post but I will, and this is it.

Am feeling totally despondant today as AF will for sure arrive today or tomorrow - lots of spotting and cramps and just look at my temp so really I know she is coming - I know I haven't been at this long but I am almost out of luck already. The BF is away in August, and in September I am supposed to return 'home' which is to a country where it is illegal to be single and pregnant. Plus the fact that the BF will be 4000 miles away so any chance will involve expensive flights.

I had a quick look into overseas adoption but I saw a figure of £50-60k involved and there is no way I have that!!!

So am a bit tearful today and can only see a life of nothingness ahead. Sorry ladies to offload my misery but I know you will understand

honey I'm sorry things are looking grim - do you HAVE to go home in September??

 

[twinkle1975]

yep that's her - she shouts things like - 'You don't get these abs for free', 'It should be burning by now, that's the price you pay' and 'There's no modification for jumping jacks - I have 400lb clients who can do these'

I was on the floor by the end!!

We're talking about her on the exercise thread - she's 37 and is adopting a child as doesn't want pregnancy to spoil her body

yeah that doesn't surprise me - she's a nutter!!

Peanut butter - hahahaha!!!

I'm trying to lose 10lbs in the next 2 weeks - so I've started to do the 30 day Shred with Gillian Michaels - she's a nightmare woman!!!

Wow! That a huge weight loss. Does it come with a diet plan?

It doesn't come with a diet plan - I think she does have a book with a diet plan in but I'm sticking with WW as I know what I'm doing with that! I've done day 3 today and I might be imagining it but it did feel a little easier

 

[skye2010]

Butterfly So sorry that you are feeling stuck. Lot's of hugs and kisses to you.
Hon I don't want to be nosing into your situation but I will write my honest opinion. You can ignore it if it doesn't suit you. Considering your situation and your age I would suggest you get all your testing done asap and go for a treatment route. Completely healthy couples who are under 35 can be TTcing up to a year. When a woman passes 35 she might have to deal with egg quality, maturity and other complications etc etc.... Sometimes when everything looks perfect it still doesn't happen. I'm sorry if this sounds a bit grim, but these are some problems that bug even the best of us. I suffered from unexplained fertility. My egg reserves, the hormone tests and DHs tests were the best you could get under 35 but it just didn't happen anyway.

However pls don't get me wrong I am not suggesting the tx route because you might be having a conceiving issue at all. On the contrary sometimes women with low egg reserves and other problems get pregnant very easily without a hiccup. However timing and distance is a major obstacle for you. Even if you can afford the time and money for scheduling the flights say if there is a problem with the airline or you ovulate early or late you will have a lot of frustration all of a sudden in your life.

Treatment (both IUI or IVF) takes money and time but it is timed and scheduled. So it might be more convenient for you in the long run. I am writing all this as a food for your thoughts. As I said please ignore it if it isn't for you. Cause I know how hard it is from TTcing naturally to starting a tx. It plays with your mind so it is a very personal choice anyone can take only if they feel ready for it.
Wishing you loads of good luck and baby dust I hope you could get pregnant before you face all this.xxx

 

[Butterfly67]

Thanks skweek and twinkle - I guess I don't have to go back but I can't actually earn any money here really so every month I stay in the UK I end up deeper in debt Maybe I could delay a short bit so that I give myself at least 2 more chances though...

 

[lavalux]

Butterfly,

 

[newmarriedgal]

Morning Ladies!

skye - I have to say I laughed out loud at your post: "Llangollen" name sounds like it belonged to the Lord of the Rings.....I thought the same thing as I was going through all the posts!! But you are right - the grads posts aren't as lively as this one

Welcome to the new ladies - I hope you get your BFPs very very soon. don't lose hope, I have many autoimmune issues and wasn't sure if I would have success but I did! Prayers, patience, hope and these lovely ladies helped loads.

Butterfly - I wish I could help more and I wish I could have you next to me so I could give you a big in person.....you deserve it. Please cling to some hope.

Hi Purple how you feeling today? don't you hate it when cycles are off, it can mess with your head!

AFM, nothing much new, same old stuff - hard to deal with this heat, hopefully this week will be cooler. Been very restless at night. I spent the day at my mom's on Friday and I asked myself why all weekend Out of the blue she told me under no circumstances was I getting a baby shower ... i wasn't even talking about it at all! she claims it's because she doesn't want to jinx things. When I laughed at that and said: that's ok but there is something called an ultrasound to see if the baby is ok and she just flipped out saying she doesn't believe in them. not like I was looking for one or expected one----and after she made a stink about my wedding registry being a waste and refusing to even look at it, I should have expected this. oh well. another day, another drama at moms. One of these days I will either stop going or turn a deaf ear to her.

On the plus side, I had dinner with one of my best friends who has an 18mo boy and Charlie was SO good playing with him all afternoon! Then he looks at me and told me: I'm so ready! I wish I got a picture of him holding the boy on his lap and the two of them coloring together. It was adorable!

I hope you all have a great day, to those who need it and extra peace to those who are upset. You are all in my thoughts and prayers daily.

 

[purplelou]

skye - you are a sweetheart - I wouldn't be able to wait either and would probaby go for the early scan!!

Butterfly - I am so so sorry, I didn't realise you had these fixed time constraints - that is so hard! sending you huge - I hope you able to give yourself and BF some more time.

NMG - thank you, yes this cycle is definetly messing with me bah!!! I loved you story about DH and your friends baby though - blessy!!

Twinkle - every time you feel like stopping from your work out - think of me - Im cheering you on Go Twinkle Go Twinkle Go Twinkle


Big hugs and loves to all you other lovely ladies!!

AFM - still no AF and still BFN (although I sort of "know" Im not pregnant) I would just like my cycle to settle down! - sorry -mini rant over

 

[FutureMommie]

Butterfly- sending hugs your way! I wish I had the perfect words

 

[padbrat]

Skye my lovely... just (hugs) cos you are a love!

Butterfly I came out of lurking to say Skye already said what I was thinking. If time is against you then tx may be worth considering. I am looking abroad for my tx as it is cheaper than the UK... and I mean considerably cheaper. Spain is popular, but I am looking at Cyprus. Let me know if you want any info about places I have looked out. Alternatively ignore all of that and just have a (hug) too xxx

 

[Butterfly67]

Skye my lovely... just (hugs) cos you are a love!

Butterfly I came out of lurking to say Skye already said what I was thinking. If time is against you then tx may be worth considering. I am looking abroad for my tx as it is cheaper than the UK... and I mean considerably cheaper. Spain is popular, but I am looking at Cyprus. Let me know if you want any info about places I have looked out. Alternatively ignore all of that and just have a (hug) too xxx

Padbrat thank you so much for your post for a couple of reasons, not least for the fact that I missed Skye's post and looking back I think our posts crossed at the same time. And you are both right, I definitely should think about that as a good possibility.

I assume tx can mean iui or ivf or whatever might work best. I will for sure make sure all the tests are done ASAP to check the situation. Bf will get his SA done when he gets back from his hol and I will phone the dr tomorrow to see if they have the results of my day 21 tests.

Will definitely contact you if I get to that point about European options if they are cheaper.

Thanks so much for coming out of lurkdom and thanks again Skye, you are always there with great advice.

Love all you girls

 

[lavalux]

Butterfly,
I second the advice to talk with a FS and get all your tests squared away. Even with an always accessible partner while I was ovulating, it still is incredibly stressful when you feel you are running out of time as I did. The IUIs actually alleviated the stress b/c if we didn't DTD on all the days, it didn't matter as much b/c as long as the clinic had his sample, we were in business. They can even freeze sperm samples so it gives you more flexibility. It's a big step them to decide to use fertility treatments and I don't know if you have a good place to go or if you have insurance that covers part of it (mine only covered the diagnostic tests and nothing else). Anyway, the more info you have, the better your decisions. Good luck and we are all here to support you.

Twinkle,
Way to go on the weight loss! Only 10 more to go! You can do it. Are you getting excited for your appt coming up?

AFM,

Spoiler

We had another good scan today. We are awaiting genetic screening results now. The numbers they give us will help us decide if we want to do an amnio that will give us more detailed & accurate results for Downs, trisomy, other chromosomal defects. There is a slight miscarriage risk for amnio which is increased with twins so it is alot to get my head around. Right now, more waiting! I wish I could say I'm getting better at it, but I'm not.

In other news, my uncle is 87 and his health is declining rapidly. He's in a very difficult situation as his alcoholic adult son is being verbally and possibly even physically abusive. His daughter is trying to figure out what to do, but she's not in town and can't move right now due to her job. It makes me sad and I feel so helpless that I can't help my family. Otherwise, my dad turns 84 next Wednesday! Fortunately, my folks are doing ok.

Hope everyone is doing well!

 

[padbrat]

Skye my lovely... just (hugs) cos you are a love!

Butterfly I came out of lurking to say Skye already said what I was thinking. If time is against you then tx may be worth considering. I am looking abroad for my tx as it is cheaper than the UK... and I mean considerably cheaper. Spain is popular, but I am looking at Cyprus. Let me know if you want any info about places I have looked out. Alternatively ignore all of that and just have a (hug) too xxx

Padbrat thank you so much for your post for a couple of reasons, not least for the fact that I missed Skye's post and looking back I think our posts crossed at the same time. And you are both right, I definitely should think about that as a good possibility.

I assume tx can mean iui or ivf or whatever might work best. I will for sure make sure all the tests are done ASAP to check the situation. Bf will get his SA done when he gets back from his hol and I will phone the dr tomorrow to see if they have the results of my day 21 tests.

Will definitely contact you if I get to that point about European options if they are cheaper.

Thanks so much for coming out of lurkdom and thanks again Skye, you are always there with great advice.

Love all you girls

yep you are absolutely right it is IVF or IUI and you can have a sperm donor if needs be. Donation is what I am having to consider as my translocation may affect too many of my eggs. I figure that someone is giving me 1 cell... thats it. My body grows and feeds the baby and my blood flows through it... it is a hard decision to come to as everyone naturally wants the perfect picture of a happy relationship and a wonderful natural pregnancy, but as we are all far to painfully aware that doesn't occur for us all.

I will have to have tests for my tx and if you want I can let you know which tests are needed. Anything to help a mate Just like Skye always helps me. xx

 

[Butterfly67]

Am really hoping this works out for you pb. Tbh I'm not bothered too much if I need egg donation but sperm donation would be harder as I want bf to be the father.

I did just have a quick google but am on my phone so will look more tomorrow. Yes, would be interested to know about the tests, thanks.

 

[purplelou]

Lava - I am so pleased your scan went well! sorry there is more waiting now though. how did the babies look on the scan?? were you able to make out any details?? did you get pictures?? I'm so excited for you!

well AF arrived for me this morning bah! along with teenage spots (lovely! lol) Im wondering if that means that since my skin obviously thinks I am a teenager, perhaps my eggies do too!

huge big loves to all of you amazing ladies! hope you have a nice day xx

 

[NorthStar]

Lava - I am so pleased your scan went well! sorry there is more waiting now though. how did the babies look on the scan?? were you able to make out any details?? did you get pictures?? I'm so excited for you!

well AF arrived for me this morning bah! along with teenage spots (lovely! lol) Im wondering if that means that since my skin obviously thinks I am a teenager, perhaps my eggies do too!

huge big loves to all of you amazing ladies! hope you have a nice day xx

damn that AF!

Since I've came off BCP my skin has been SPOTTIER than when I was a teen (in the week before AF) and I've even invested in some Clearasil!

I went on Evening Primrose Oil to combat this and it cleared up beautitfully, though a note of caution here it has delayed my ov and shortened my LP - but side effects vary from person to person to it could well be worthwhile trying for you purplelou - it definitely fixed my skin!

Lavalux - so excited for you that things are going well, and thanks for sharing your experiences of tx

Skye - thanks for your insightful posts to Butterfly, that and what Lavalux said has even given me some food for thought, so I'm going to set some dates around when we will seek investigation/tx.

Padbrat- thanks also to you for sharing your experiences and I'm glad you have decided to pursue treatment - have you read the TTC journal of MissyMooMoo as she successfully pursued egg donation?

Twinkle hope you are shredding that last 10lb, you've done well so even if Gillian ends up being the death of you

All the other ladies hello and hope everyone is well.

AFM nothing to report, like Twinkle I've been hauling my arse down to the gym and doing some kick boxing typed classes, OH had better watch when he comes home as I'm going to be fighting fit!

 

[Butterfly67]

Lava, thanks for the advice, will have to see what I need todo to see an FS. So glad that the twins are doing well, still so excited for you

Purple, sorry the witch showed, hope the next cycle is yours

NS glad you might think down this route too as it sounds such a pain for you and DH to get the timing right. Have you gad tests done yet I can't remember?

So just to rub it in last night I had such bad cramps I was vomiting in the night, haven't been that bad since before I went on the pill 25 years ago