TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[canuckgirl]

Hi all! i am here too! i was wondering why it was so quiet over here. what exactly is "AMH"? not sure my dr has ever tested that before.

AMH = Anti-Muellerian Hormone. Unfortunately just about everything else I know about it is in my previous post. But a quick google search found this: https://www.inviafertility.com/docs/Ovarian_reserve.pdf

Some of the other stuff I've found while googling it is that, since it's a relatively new test, what's considered normal varies from one clinic to the next. It just hasn't been around long enough for the medical community to reach a consensus yet.

Thanks for the info on AMH. not sure if my doc does that test. if they did, they never told me about it. i did however just track down some day 3 results for FSH, LH and Estradiol. i would post the numbers and ask for your opinions, but we might use different units of measurement here in canada, so i don't want to confuse things.

Purplelou-i am doing good, thanks for asking. i am 12dpiui but refuse to test until 14dpiui. some tender bbs for the last few days, but the twinge and cramping feeling i had mid-week seems to be gone - for now anyway.

Have a great day everybody!

 

[HappyAuntie]

Thanks for the positive vibes everyone. I appreciate it. At my follie check this morning it still looks like I'll only have two, though. The biggie on the L went from 17 to 19 in the last 24 hrs, but the one on the R stayed at 16 - no growth - so they're stimming me one more night hoping it'll get a little bigger, then trigger tomorrow and IUI on Tuesday. My E2 levels reflect only two eggs as well.

HA- I hope you're not giving up on this cycle although I understand your concerns those follies still have time to catch up! How concerned was your RE about your Ovarian reserve?

I didn't get to speak with him directly yet - my nurse called me with the results, though she did reiterate that he said he's not worried about it at 2, that he only starts to worry when it's 1 or lower. I have a long list of questions about it for my next consult with him, like how fast does AMH typically decline/when will mine hit 1? I know he can't tell me exactly, but I don't have any concept of how rapidly it changes or if there's even a "normal" rate of decline. We'll see.

I also intend to tell him I want to be more aggressive with the stims next time. My second medicated cycle produced 4 good follies and a bunch more that almost made it - I responded so well that he was a little nervous about it, so he backed off the follistim just a little for the next cycle (and this one). But at the slightly lower dosage I've only produced two follies each time. Frankly, even with 4 good follies, between my crusty old eggs and DH's lousy morphology, the odds of all of them fertilizing are so infinitesimally small that it's a chance we're willing to take... because with my crusty old eggs and DH's lousy morphology, the odds of even one of them fertilizing are small.... Besides, we've already decided we're doing 4 IUIs and then reevaluating, so if the next one doesn't work we're either doing IVF or stopping treatment (and right now I don't know which way we'd go). The statistics very clearly show that if IUI is going to work, it works in the first 3-4 attempts for the very vast majority of women, and we don't have the time to waste to see if I'd be one of the small percentage for whom it works after 5-6-7 attempts. (I'm angry at myself for not telling him that before the start of this cycle - I thought about it and decided not to in the hopes that last time was just a flukey cycle all the way around. Apparently it wasn't.)

So yeah, in my mind I've really already moved on to the next cycle. WTH. At least that way, if by some miracle this is our month, I'll be super surprised.

I really don't like how cynical 2 losses and 31 months of ttc has made me.

 

[HappyAuntie]

I'm here but it's been a really really long day today - started work at 8 this morning + not long been home. I'm a bridesmaid tomorrow so will check in with you all on Sunday xx

Ooh, you need to post a pic of the dress so we can all see how dreadful it is! Bridesmaid dresses generally are - I have a collection of them to prove it! They'll make a great Halloween costume some time! Except mine, of course - my bridesmaids all looked stunning, naturally! Have fun at the wedding - I really do love going to them. I cry at the weddings of people I don't even know! I'm such a sap.

Hi Guys - I'm new to the forum. I'm 38, TTC our first and on 3rd cycle using CBFM. Already stunned at the emotional rollercoaster that is TTC! I've just hit my peak with the CBFM so about to enter the dreaded TWW!!! Symptom spotting here we come!!!! xxxx

Welcome, Pickle! Glad you found us here. Hope the symptom spotting doesn't drive you crazy!

AFM well today is a better day thankfully And thank you all for your support Well my temp absolutely nose dived this morning but I did wake at 6.30am freezing as DH had opened all the windows in the bedroom and turned on not only the ceiling fan but 2 floor standing fans as well and then had nicked all the bedding to wrap himself in and when I tried to take some back after doing my temp he said "get off cold!" At that point I poked him hard and told him to let the dogs out So not bothered to put in on my chart as it will mess it up more than it is

Sending lots of to any requiring/wanting it and to anyone who needs one

My DH is SUCH a cover hog! Has been since day 1! It's not so bad in the summer, but winters get rough. I don't bother poking him anymore, I just steal them back. I don't care if jerking some covers away from him wakes him up - his leaving me bare wakes me up, and turnabout's fair play, right?!

afm - well I managed to loose 2lb last week. My parents have arrived this am, so there will be meals out and stuff, Ill just have to be careful I don't over indulge! Also we will be partaking in the silent till FF tells us O has occurred. it was supposed to happen today so fingers crossed. My parents are here to house hunt, which is lovely because it will be much easier to visit and keep an eye on them!

Excellent job on the weight loss! And is it just me, or is the silent kind of exciting? Idk, maybe it's rules-follower in me that gets excited doing something sneaky! Good luck with the house hunting. In Texas we lived just 1/2 mile from my parents and it was fantastic - we really miss seeing them so frequently now that we live 1200 miles away. But then I'm very fortunate that DH loves my family and is very close to them, and vice versa. Having them close by could be a nightmare for some, along the lines of Everybody Loves Raymond! What's the housing market like over there? It's still hard to sell over here - buyers definitely have the upper hand these last few years, if they can qualify for a mortgage (which is increasingly difficult to do).

 

[Macwooly]

HA - I feel for you with your DH being a bedding stealer My DH swears blind he doesn't steal them but I kick them off onto him - yeah right!

My in laws live 5 minutes walk up the road and when I first married DH it was very like Every body Loves Raymond but thankfully they phone before just dropping by now

Purplelou well done on the weight lose

And I too find silent kind of exciting too

 

[ttc11]

My in laws live 5 minutes walk up the road and when I first married DH it was very like Every body Loves Raymond but thankfully they phone before just dropping by now

Very funny ... 'Everybody Loves Raymond' is MY in-laws. DH's mother is just like Marie on the show. Luckily they are 3 hours away, but they love to drive and have lots of days off, so it's really not any different than if they lived 5 minutes away.

3 hours away is just long enough for them to have to stay with us, too.

 

[twinkle1975]

HA - I've attached a picture of me & Matthew - the dress was actually quite nice! I was worried I'd look like a heifer as the other bridesmaid was a US size 2/UK size 4 but I felt reasonably ok! The day was absolutely fab! We were staying over so I got quite drunk & danced til I dropped!!

 

[Macwooly]

Twinkle you look stunning! And you and your DH make a lovely couple

 

[HappyAuntie]

Very nice!! Thanks for posting! And woo hoo for the getting drunk and dancing!!

 

[purplelou]

dancing and drinking - Yay!!!!! Twinkle you look fab!!

 

[NorthStar]

Looking great there Twinkle, have you felt a lot of health benefits from the weight loss, as you've really lost a substantial amount now, are you finding your energy levels higher?

 

[twinkle1975]

Looking great there Twinkle, have you felt a lot of health benefits from the weight loss, as you've really lost a substantial amount now, are you finding your energy levels higher?

Yeah - I'm definitley finding climbing stairs easier, when DH & I have been out walking I've needed less stops & less inhaler and last night I only sat down if the song sucked, not because I thought I was going to collapse!!

 

[NorthStar]

Looking great there Twinkle, have you felt a lot of health benefits from the weight loss, as you've really lost a substantial amount now, are you finding your energy levels higher?

Yeah - I'm definitley finding climbing stairs easier, when DH & I have been out walking I've needed less stops & less inhaler and last night I only sat down if the song sucked, not because I thought I was going to collapse!!

Brilliant, that's a really good sign, I'm asthmatic too and it's really important for us to maintain a reasonable level of cardio fitness makes managing the condition a lot easier.

You've done so well - is it a thrill shopping for smaller clothes too?

 

[CeeDee]

Ttc11, Sorry about your UTI. I hope you feel better soon.

HA, Sorry you’re in a funk. Don’t give up, I’ll be praying for you.

Purplelou, Congrats on your weight loss!

Nice pic, Twinkle.

I tested this morning and got a . I’m excited, but cautious. Please pray for a healthy sticky bean.

 

[ttc11]

HA - I've attached a picture of me & Matthew - the dress was actually quite nice! I was worried I'd look like a heifer as the other bridesmaid was a US size 2/UK size 4 but I felt reasonably ok! The day was absolutely fab! We were staying over so I got quite drunk & danced til I dropped!!

I agree... you look great and that dress is quite nice. I like the color. At least it's not hot pink or bright orange, right? haha. Glad you got the drink and dance on, we all deserve that once in a while!

 

[ttc11]

Ttc11, Sorry about your UTI. I hope you feel better soon.

HA, Sorry you’re in a funk. Don’t give up, I’ll be praying for you.

Purplelou, Congrats on your weight loss!

Nice pic, Twinkle.

I tested this morning and got a . I’m excited, but cautious. Please pray for a healthy sticky bean.

YAY for the !!! Here's praying for a healthy sticky bean.

Thanks for the get well. This UTI is a kicker this time around. I did order the softcups for next month. Thinking too much and not enough peeing before/after created the uti.

 

[HappyAuntie]

Yeah - I'm definitley finding climbing stairs easier, when DH & I have been out walking I've needed less stops & less inhaler and last night I only sat down if the song sucked, not because I thought I was going to collapse!!

brilliant!!! wtg Twinkle!!!

And CeeDee, congratulations!! FX'd for a happy & healthy nine months!

 

[lavalux]

Twinkle! You go girl. I am impressed! I hope you are rewarding yourself for all that you've accomplished. Weight loss is an incredibly difficult thing requiring a lot of self-discipline.

CeeDee,
Congrats on your BFP! I am praying for you to have a healthy 10 months and a very sticky bean!!!

Northstar,
I want those cupcakes!

HA,
I am following your cycle this month and want to encourage you. It takes only one egg and one sperm, which is hard to remember after all the struggles you been through. You have two good eggs! The most important thing is the monitoring and timing and it sounds like they are doing a good job of that this month. I am praying for you to have a successful IUI. Don't worry if you feel cynical. All the BnB girls will maintain lots of PMA for you!

AFM,
We've pretty much told everyone now at work, church, family & friends that we are expecting and I am feeling very vulnerable right now because if something happens to the babies, it's completely out in the open. We have another OB appt tomorrow afternoon and these doctor's visits scare me because I am always worried that there will be bad news. I am really hoping our babies are hanging in there.

 

[HappyAuntie]

HA,
I am following your cycle this month and want to encourage you. It takes only one egg and one sperm, which is hard to remember after all the struggles you been through. You have two good eggs! The most important thing is the monitoring and timing and it sounds like they are doing a good job of that this month. I am praying for you to have a successful IUI. Don't worry if you feel cynical. All the BnB girls will maintain lots of PMA for you!

AFM,
We've pretty much told everyone now at work, church, family & friends that we are expecting and I am feeling very vulnerable right now because if something happens to the babies, it's completely out in the open. We have another OB appt tomorrow afternoon and these doctor's visits scare me because I am always worried that there will be bad news. I am really hoping our babies are hanging in there.

Thanks, Lava. I need and appreciate that.

As for worrying about bad news, that’s one area I know way too much about and can (hopefully) help you with.

A -it is completely normal to worry, and
B - you have absolutely no reason to worry. Nor do you have any reason to fear anything bad happening to your babies. You know lots of women on here who’ve had a loss (or losses), and that tends to skew your perception of the odds of having a loss yourself. But we are not a random sampling of pregnancies - we do not represent the norm. We all came here seeking support. Even women who came to BnB seeking ttc support do not represent the norm - how many ttc’ers on here do you see who test crazy early and then suffer a loss at 4 weeks, before the avg woman would even know she’s pregnant? The fact of the matter is that once you’ve seen a heartbeat, the odds of losing your baby are less than 3% - so right now, you, Lavalux, have a 97% chance of meeting your babies. After a normal ultrasound at 16 weeks, the odds of loss drop to 1%. You are healthy, your babies are healthy, you are getting great prenatal care, and you have every reason in the world to celebrate and enjoy your pregnancy and free yourself from the fear of something going wrong. Lay that one down and enjoy every day. Every day you worry about it is a day of joy you're missing out on.

And C - and this goes for everyone -
IF something horrible happens, the pain and the grief is the same no matter whether the whole world knows or only you and your husband know. Keeping a pregnancy a secret does not protect you from loss or from pain, it only forces you to suffer in silence if the worst happens, reinforces the societal taboo that pregnancy loss mustn‘t be talked about, and leaves the next grieving mother feeling all alone and like no one in the world knows how this feels. With ANY other death, friends and family and loved ones respond with caring concern, a desire to take care of you and help you through your grief. Yet for some reason our culture still doesn’t talk about pregnancy loss, and parents are forced to suffer alone, with no social support to help them through, leaving them to feel like no one else cares, no one else has ever suffered a pregnancy loss, no one else thinks their baby was real or their pain is real, and that the grief they feel isn't normal. But it is. So I say tell the world. And IF the worst happens, tell the world - you will need their help. Lots of people keep it to themselves out of fear that someone will say something well-intentioned but horrible to them. I say those are opportunities to tell them how their comment made you feel. Educate them. They mean well but they truly don’t know and can’t understand. But if you take the opportunity to educate them, then maybe they will never make the same mistake with the next woman who’s brave enough to speak openly about her loss. If you snap at them, they will forgive you. And if not, they’re not worth your time anyway. If your response makes them uncomfortable, too bad - their comment made you uncomfortable and they need to know that is not an ok thing to say.

AFM, out of the hundreds and hundreds who knew about our babies and knew about our losses, only one person said something horrible. We were flooded with cards, flowers, meals, help and love, just how you'd expect people to support you if your parent died or your husband died. People want to help, but if they don't know they can't help. So I say tell the world.

Alright, off my soapbox. This is not a loss forum and I don't want to bring everyone down, so back to ttc talk. And my sincere apologies for my verbal diarrhea.

G'night girls.

 

[lavalux]

HA,
I love it when you get on your so-called soapbox. You are very wise and kind. I agree that it is better to have support after a loss and fertility issues & miscarriage should not be kept secret. Awareness is important & those who experience loss should not feel shame or like it's a taboo. As you suspected, I was worried about knowing what to say & how some people would respond. Thinking more about gossipy co-workers & acquaintances (not really close friends or family). But, if I suffer a loss, I will find the strength to get through it. Two of my good friends who had miscarriages this year are perfect examples of that & I think part of the reason they are dealing so well is b/c they were open & honest, sharing their feelings. As for my worrying, I really need to work on that and be more positive. I believe positivity can affect good outcomes. Not always, but enough to strive for it. I get into this downward spiral of fear sometimes and I need to just stop and re-write the tapes. Instead of 3% loss, think 97% chance I will hold my babies and do the same for statistics about birth defects & pregnancy complications. I resolve to be more positive and also rely more on my faith. Thank you for taking the time to write such an encouraging & heartfelt post.

 

[Butterfly67]

^^^ WSS

Completely and utterly agree HA

CeeDee congrats again