TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[HappyAuntie]

I agree, take the rest. Your mind and heart need it even if you think your body doesn't. I am so sorry, honey. God, what a shitty week this has turned out to be. Apparently we need a f*ck it wagon around here in addition to the whatever wagon, so we can hop from one to the other as needed.

AFM, finally had a good meltdown this morning. Yesterday I was much more philosophical about it all, and really just glad to be out of limbo. But today I'm a mess. I have to have a rhogam shot because I'm Rh neg and DH is Rh pos. My other two mc both happened in a clinical setting (1st one I ended up in the ER, 2nd was a D&C) so I just got the shot as a part of the other business going on already. but today I have to go to the hospital to get it done. My clinic faxed the order over to the hospital, and I called the hospital just to confirm they'd received the orders and I was good to go (didn't want to get over there just to wait some more) and apparently there was some confusion over there and I absolutely did not have the mental resources to handle it. I kind of blew up at the hospital receptionist over the phone, hung up, called my nurse back at the clinic and asked her to please just take care of this and call me back when it was ok for me to go over there because I just can't handle even this tiny of a challenge right now. She was so supportive and caring and said she'd take care of everything, to just sit tight and she'd call me back later. She did, about 20 min later, and said everything was arranged, I could go over to the hospital any time between now and 7p and just walk in and they'd be ready for me. She even called my GP and had them fax over my blood type info so I could avoid that wait while the hospital confirmed my blood type before moving on to the antibody screen and rhogam shot. (In the meantime, I had a complete sobfest so now my whole face is puffed up and red and I have a headache, but hey, at least now I can take some f*cking ibuprofen for it, right?)

Anyway, the sobfest felt good, and the arrangements are made for my shot, and now I can just go do that and come back to the couch.

DH came home yesterday with an arm load of DVDs he'd rented for me, a GIANT bag of m&m's, a pint of Ben & Jerry's, and a six-pack of hard lemonade. After three of these, he knows just what I need. I usually give myself permission to loaf around and not shower and just be sad until all the movies are watched and all the m&m's are gone. (After last night, the liquor is already gone.) That's how I roll. F*ck it. F*CK IT!

 

[HappyAuntie]

Oh, and Chris, that's outstanding news about your insurance - just wonderful.

 

[skye2010]

OOooooh noooo Dwrgi sweetie. I'm sooo sooo sorry. Damn dunno how to comfort you cause I know how devastating it is. İf a few drinks suit your mood go ahead sweetie. Many hugs and hugs and hugs...
Dwrgi I can think of 2 things that came to my mind straight away
1) Try IVF protocol but do IUI instead next time (NOt sure if it would help not to extract the eggs

2) To change your clinic to one of the top ones. But this would no daubt be expensive and might need u to come down to London for the tx....

3) Egg donation. But this is a very cold option for a couple who isn't prepared to go that route. And it takes a lot to consider even the couple would be warm to the idea.

Sweetie Im in a small hotel not easy access to internet for a few days... And you would be really upset at the moment for all this no daubt but if you wannna discuss further when u feel a little better you can post my inbox. Or if u fancy a chat I can write down my tel no once I come home after 11th Sept.

We are all here thinking of you and supporting u. xxxx

 

[skye2010]

HA sweetie I don't have too much time to back read so IŞm sorry if I miss out any of your posts on my comment.

I,m really sorry for what happened to u. this is so upsetting.

Sweetie same for you my heart goes to you too. I dunno much about not matching RH situation but did u find out this this week or did you know this might have been the problem on your prevıous mc???

I have felt like suggesting u to look into immune related issues for pregnancy earlier as well. This isn't practiced widely in the medical world. Only a handful of specialists and clinics look into it. But I beleive it is sthg that couples with multiple mc issues should consider if they can.

Many hugs sweetie. If u wanna discuss further u can post me if u like xxxx

 

[HappyAuntie]

HA sweetie I don't have too much time to back read so IŞm sorry if I miss out any of your posts on my comment.

I,m really sorry for what happened to u. this is so upsetting.

Sweetie same for you my heart goes to you too. I dunno much about not matching RH situation but did u find out this this week or did you know this might have been the problem on your prevıous mc???

I have felt like suggesting u to look into immune related issues for pregnancy earlier as well. This isn't practiced widely in the medical world. Only a handful of specialists and clinics look into it. But I beleive it is sthg that couples with multiple mc issues should consider if they can.

Many hugs sweetie. If u wanna discuss further u can post me if u like xxxx

Thanks honey. No, we've always known about our Rh incompatibility, and it's been ruled out as a source of our problems. Getting the shot during every pregnancy/miscarriage/delivery prevents my body from developing the antibodies to Rh neg blood. If I didn't get the shot and a future baby was Rh neg, my immune system would see it as foreign and attack and kill it. But since I've had the shot every time, I'm good to go. I'm just glad the science exists for that - I have a friend who's in her 70s and childless because of Rh incompatibility - when she and her late hubby were trying to have a family, they lost every baby because of it, and there was nothing Drs could do about it back then.

 

[purplelou]

HA - it sounds like you have the perfect husband there - armed with Ben and Jerry's movie sweeties and alcohol - wonderful man! I am still thinking about you and sending your way xxx

 

[padbrat]

Well FUK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK IT LADIES!!! and yes I did shout it!!

Cannot believe this bollocks (shakes fist at sky) for both HA and Dwigi.... that is blooming pants... and SHITE (said in a hard core Glaswiegian accent)!!

Feel better now... I know I can offer no comfort to either of you and believe me I know that black feeling of crapness that I expect you are both dealing with... take your time and eventually you will be able to see beyond the dark skies to another plan.

(((((HUGS))))) both of you x

 

[padbrat]

hey ladies... ooooo oracles of all things TTC...

Hubbys sperm results are in... but I don't understand them...

viscosity - hyperviscous
concentration - 23 million
motility - 30%
progression - good
morphology - 8% normal forms, defects mainly in tails
mar test - 20% with latex particules adheret to tails

any ideas???

 

[HappyAuntie]

hey ladies... ooooo oracles of all things TTC...

Hubbys sperm results are in... but I don't understand them...

viscosity - hyperviscous
concentration - 23 million
motility - 30%
progression - good
morphology - 8% normal forms, defects mainly in tails
mar test - 20% with latex particules adheret to tails

any ideas???

kind of depends on the criteria they used.... If they used the Strict criteria for morphology, anything over 4% normal is "normal" so his morphology is good, and the fact that the defective ones have tail problems mean they're still capable of fertilizing an egg they just can't swim well. But that is easily overcome with ICSI. What was the total volume? Concentration doesn't mean much without the volume info. And the good progression is good - means his sperm know which direction to go. (Poor progression would mean they swim around in circles instead of heading for the target.) I don't know what the mar test is, though. I'd recommend you call your dr and ask for clarification - get them to explain it all to you in lay terms, and ask questions until you understand. Use their knowledge to your advantage!

 

[onmymind17]

Oh, and Chris, that's outstanding news about your insurance - just wonderful.

Oh honey thank you, but dont you even think about that right now, God i so know what your going through. I am glad you had a sob fest, because no matter how much you tell yourself it does not matter, it does and you have to just let it all out. Your husband was so sweet, what a wonderful man!!! Your in my thoughts and prayers honey and i am sending you as many hugs as you can handle right now!!

 

[NorthStar]

Hi Ladies, just dropping in to say hello.

HA I'm so sorry to hear your sad news.

Drwgi I'm really sorry to hear the IVF didn't go well this time.

Padbrat & OMM, great news that you can both progress with treatment

FM FX for you

Lavalux & Skye great to hear your both doing well.

AFM nothing much to report, all's well no developments on TTC front, just started cycle 5.

 

[Macwooly]

Drwgi so sorry the IVF didn't work out for you this time

HA so sorry

AFM CD1 and not using CBFM; OPKs or temps this cycle as my last cycle was a nightmare and I think the weight lose is messing me about. So will be grabbing DH regularly and sitting on the whatever wagon.

Sending lots of to all needing one and to all wanting some

 

[purplelou]

Hi Northstar and wooly and to you both xx

 

[NorthStar]

Oooh you've got your little ticker under that spoiler, that's very nice purplelou!

 

[goldie66]

aaah congratulations purplelou on your BFP and to all the other girls who have in this section....




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ME...40....OH....40

 

[manuiti]

Dwrgi - sorry to hear that it didn't work this time round. Hope you have a good debrief. Let us know what you decide.

HA - awww hun. for you too. A meltdown and a good sob always makes you feel a bit better after. And yay for your DH being so attentive to your needs.

purplelou - big congrats to you!!

AFM - nothing much to tell. I'm 6DPO and itching to POAS already. I'm so impatient. I'm trying really hard to sit still in the whatever wagon but I think because DH and I get the chance to try so infrequently, it's really hard to do. lol Anyway, and to everyone!

 

[Butterfly67]

Sorry ladies only just managed to log on.

to you dwrgi and ha

Xx

 

[goldie66]

Sorry ladies, I forgot to say sorry to all who are going threw a very tough time at the minute

 

[Dwrgi]

Hi Guys, how are you all??? Hope you've all got fun packed Bank Holiday weekends planned????

Hey HA-how are you feeling today hun? Sounds like a good plan to get your nurse to deal with all the crappy admin stuff for you. That's the last thing you want to get involved with. Also, what a truly sweet man your partner is-he sounds just lovely. Hope you have a relaxing weekend!

Well, I have been doing some research (death by google), and have come up with some interesting information. It is possible that some people are resistant to ovitrell, which is the trigger shot I had, or just need more of it-up to 10,000hcgs. Well, I had ovitrell for my IUI but there was no way of knowing then if it worked or not, so I could have taken the information for future cycles. Some IVF clients actually need two shots to trigger ovulation, or a different brand-pregnyl was mentioned? Another person documented that when she had a lot of follicles and no eggs, her clinic gave her another hcg after egg retrieval to see if they could get more in another 36 hours time, because possibly some of the eggs were too immature to ovulate at the first shot.

It is all food for thought-as I simply cannot get my head around two eggs out of 12 follicles. I know of others with lower amh than I who yielded far better egg results, so I am just at a loss. But I keep remembering what I read once that the first IVF is often about trial and error, seeing what works for each individual, and tweaking it for next time. The only downside is the cost, of course.

I had a HUGE cry last night-just felt so bereft, and it is all so anticlimatic, as I'd anticipated the next two weeks being all about the treatment, and then to have it taken away at the second hurdle. I just felt so fed up of battling-especially after almost four years, trying this and trying that yada yada. I just kept thinking, 'somebody, just give me a break'; that is all that I ask. I can't bear to be in the statistic of 'infertile, no children', but it is just so difficult to carry on trying, and picking yourself up constantly. I know there are a lot of you on here who will identify with this, and I'm sure you know how I feel.

It is completely PANTSVILLE!!! But am eager to have the consult and to discuss further.

I hope you all have a great day!

Lots and lots of big love,
Axxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Dwrgi]

Also wanted to say that I am thinking of all of you who live in hurricane country (FM?) and hope that you remain safe and well. Take it easy guys, and take really good care. Let's hope that Irene passes you by.
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